Examples of the Standards for Students’ Writing From the January 2009 Diploma Examination • Visual Reflection Assignment • Literary Exploration Assignment • Persuasive Writing in Context Assignment English Language Arts 30–2 This document was written primarily for: Students Teachers Administrators Parents General Public Others Copyright 2009, the Crown in Right of Alberta, as represented by the Minister of Education, Alberta Education, Learner Assessment, 44 Capital Boulevard, 10044 108 Street NW, Edmonton, Alberta T5J 5E6, and its licensors. All rights reserved. Special permission is granted to Alberta educators only to reproduce, for educational purposes and on a non-profit basis, parts of this document that do not contain excerpted material. Excerpted material in this document shall not be reproduced without the written permission of the original publisher (see credits, where applicable). Contents Acknowledgements ii Introduction 1 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Writing Assignments 3 Assignment I: Visual Reflection 4 Assignment II: Literary Exploration 6 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context 9 English Language Arts 30–2 Part A: Written Response Standards Confirmation 12 Background 12 Impressions of Standards Confirmers January 2009 13 Examples of Students’ Writing with Teachers’ Commentaries 15 English Language Arts 30–2 Visual Reflection Assignment, January 2009 15 English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 24 English Language Arts 30–2 Persuasive Writing in Context Assignment, January 2009 46 Scoring Categories and Criteria 55 Acknowledgements Publication of this document would not have been possible without the permission of the students whose writing is presented. The co-operation of these students has allowed us to continue defining the standards of writing performance expected in connection with diploma examinations and demonstrating approaches taken by students in their writing. This document includes the valuable contributions of many educators. Sincere thanks and appreciation are extended to the following Standards Confirmers: Claudia Hanevy, Keri Helgren, Sandy Lee, Brian Lindstrand, Brianna Storey, Richard Wagner, and Kjirsten Wilson. We gratefully acknowledge the contributions made by members of the Humanities Unit and the Document Design and Desktop Publishing Unit of Learner Assessment, Alberta Education. You can reach us with your comments and questions by e-mail to Philip.Taranger@gov.ab.ca, Janet.Clark@gov.ab.ca, or Tim.Coates@gov.ab.ca, or by regular mail at Alberta Education Box 43 44 Capital Boulevard 10044 108 Street NW Edmonton, Alberta T5J 5E6 We would be pleased to hear from you. ii Introduction The written responses in this document are examples of English Language Arts 30–2 Diploma Examination writing that received scores of Satisfactory (S), Proficient (Pf), or Excellent (E). These sample responses are taken from the January 2009 administration. Along with the commentaries that accompany them, they should help you and your students to understand the standards for English Language Arts 30–2 Diploma Examination writing in relation to the scoring criteria. The purpose of the sample responses is to illustrate the standards that governed the January 2009 marking session and that anchor the selection of similar sample responses for subsequent marking sessions in 2008. The sample papers and the commentaries were used to train markers to apply the scoring criteria consistently and to justify their decisions about scores in terms of each student’s work and the criteria. The sample responses included in this document represent a very small sample of successful approaches to the assignments. Selection and Use of Sample Papers The teachers on the Standards Confirmation Committee for the January 2009 marking session selected the examples of student responses included here. They also wrote the commentaries that discuss the students’ writing in terms of the scoring criteria used for marking. During their preparation for the January 2009 marking session, markers reviewed and validated the standards represented by these sample responses. Markers then used these sample responses as guidelines for marking the written-response sections of the January 2009 English Language Arts 30–2 Diploma Examination. Cautions 1. The commentaries are brief. The commentaries were written for groups of markers to discuss and apply during the marking session. Although brief, they provide a model for relating specific examples from student work to the details in a specific scoring criterion. 2. Neither the scoring guide nor the assignments are meant to limit students to a single organizational or rhetorical approach in completing any diploma examination assignment. Students must be free to select and organize their materials in a manner that they feel will enable them to best present their ideas. In fact, part of what is being assessed is the final effectiveness of the content, the form and structure, and the rhetorical choices that students make. 1 The student writing in this document illustrates just a few of the many successful organizational and rhetorical strategies in January 2009. We strongly recommend that you caution your students that there is no preferred approach to an assignment except the approach that best accomplishes the student writer’s goal of effectively communicating his or her own ideas about the topic. We advise you not to draw any conclusions about common patterns of approach taken by students. 3. The sample papers presented in this document must not be used as models for instructional purposes. Because these papers are illustrations only, and because they are sample responses to a set topic, students must be cautioned not to memorize the content of any of these assignments and not to use them when completing classroom assignments or when writing future diploma examinations. Examination markers and staff at Alberta Education take any possibility of plagiarism or cheating seriously. The consequences for students are grave. The approaches taken by students at the standard of excellence, not their words or ideas, are what students being examined in the future should consider emulating. In fact, it is hoped that the variety of approaches presented here will inspire students to experiment with diction, syntax, and form and structure as ways of developing an individual voice and engaging the reader in ideas and forms that the student has considered. 4. It is essential that you consider each of these examples of student writing in light of the constraints of the examination situation. Under examination conditions, students produce first-draft writing. Given more time, students would be expected to produce papers of considerably improved quality, particularly in the dimensions of Presentation, Matters of Correctness, and Writing Skills. 2 January 2009 English Language Arts 30–2 Part A: Written Response Grade 12 Diploma Examination Description Instructions Time: 2½ hours. This examination was developed to be completed in 2½ hours; however, you may take an additional ½ hour to complete the examination. • Complete all three assignments. • You may use the following print references: –an English and/or bilingual dictionary –a thesaurus –an authorized writing handbook Plan your time carefully. Part A: Written Response contributes 50% of the total English Language Arts 30–2 Diploma Examination mark and consists of three assignments. • Space is provided in this booklet for planning and for your written work. • Use blue or black ink for your written work. • Assignment I: Visual Reflection Value 10% of total examination mark • Assignment II: Literary Exploration Value 25% of total examination mark Additional Instructions for Students Using Word Processors • Format your work using an easy-to-read 12-point or larger font such as Times. • Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context Value 15% of total examination mark • Double-space your final copy. • Staple your final printed work to the pages indicated for word-processed work for each assignment. Hand in all work. • Indicate in the space provided on the back cover that you have attached word-processed pages. Do not write your name anywhere in this booklet. Feel free to make corrections and revisions directly on your written work. 3 ASSIGNMENT I: VISUAL REFLECTION Suggested time: 30 to 40 minutes © Peter Menzel ©Peter Menzel / from the book “Hungry Planet, What the World Eats” by Peter Menzel and Faith D’Aluisio / www.menzelphoto.com The first photograph features a family from Europe and the second one a family from Africa. Each family is seen at home with the food they would eat in a typical week. © Peter Menzel (©Peter Menzel /from the book "Hungry Planet, What the World Eats" by Peter Menzel and Faith D'Aluisio/www.menzelphoto.com © 2005 Peter Menzel / Hungry Planet: What the World Eats / www.menzelphoto.com) ©Peter Menzel / from the book “Hungry Planet, What the World Eats” by Peter Menzel and Faith D’Aluisio / www.menzelphoto.com ELA30-2_09 What the world eats 2 CMYK ELA30-2_09 What the 42world eats 1 CMYK (©Peter Menzel /from the book "Hungry Planet, What the World Eats" by Peter Menzel and Faith D'Aluisio/www.menzelphoto.com © 2005 Peter Menzel / Hungry Planet: What the World Eats / www.menzelphoto.com) ASSIGNMENT I: VISUAL REFLECTION Examine the photographs on page 2. Reflect upon the ideas and impressions suggested by the photographs. The Assignment What ideas and impressions do the photographs suggest to you? Consider the context, and develop your response by referring to the photographs. In your writing, you may respond personally, critically, and/or creatively. You must • select a prose form that is appropriate to the ideas you wish to express and that will enable you to effectively communicate to the reader • consider how you can create a strong unifying effect Initial Planning There is additional space for planning on pages 4 and 6. 53 ASSIGNMENT II: LITERARY EXPLORATION Suggested time: 70 to 80 minutes Read the following excerpt from a novel and complete the assignment that follows. Digory’s friend Polly has been tricked by Uncle Andrew into touching one of the magic rings he has invented. Polly has vanished, and Uncle Andrew is attempting to persuade Digory to follow her and bring her back. As the excerpt begins, Uncle Andrew is explaining how the rings work. from THE MAGICIAN’S NEPHEW He got up, put on a pair of gloves, and walked over to the tray that contained the Rings. “They only work,” he said, “if they’re actually touching your skin. Wearing gloves, I can pick them up—like this—and nothing happens. If you carried one in your pocket nothing would happen: but of course you’d have to be careful not to put your hand in your pocket and touch it by accident. The moment you touch a Yellow Ring, you vanish out of this world. When you are in the Other Place I expect—of course this hasn’t been tested yet, but I expect—that the moment you touch a Green Ring you vanish out of that world and—I expect—reappear in this. Now. I take these two Greens and drop them into your right-hand pocket. Remember very carefully which pocket the Greens are in. G for Green and R for right. G.R. you see: which are the first two letters of Green. One for you and one for the little girl. And now you pick up a Yellow one for yourself. I should put it on—on your finger—if I were you. There’ll be less chance of dropping it.” Digory had almost picked up the Yellow Ring when he suddenly checked himself. “Look here,” he said. “What about Mother? Supposing she asks where I am?” “The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back,” said Uncle Andrew cheerfully. “But you don’t really know whether I can get back.” Uncle Andrew shrugged his shoulders, walked across to the door, unlocked it, threw it open, and said: “Oh very well then. Just as you please. Go down and have your dinner. Leave the little girl to be eaten by wild animals or drowned or starved in Other World or lost there for good, if that’s what you prefer. It’s all one to me. Perhaps before tea time you’d better drop in on Mrs. Plummer and explain that she’ll never see her daughter again; because you were afraid to put on a ring.” “By gum,” said Digory, “don’t I just wish I was big enough to punch your head!” Then he buttoned up his coat, took a deep breath, and picked up the Ring. And he thought then, as he always thought afterwards too, that he could not decently have done anything else. C.S. Lewis THE MAGICIAN’S NEPHEW by C. S. Lewis copyright © C. S. Lewis Pte. Ltd. 1955. Extract reprinted by permission. 69 The Assignment In this excerpt, a character decides to do the courageous thing and attempt to rescue his friend, even though he doesn’t know what dangers may lie ahead. What is your opinion of the idea that courage is an important quality? You must • discuss a character from literature or film that you have studied in English Language Arts 30–2. You may choose to discuss more than one character • ensure that the details you select support your opinion of the idea that courage is an important quality • present your ideas in prose You should • reflect upon your own knowledge and/or experience and/or the reading selection provided • use the Personal Reflection on Choice of Character(s) from Literary Text(s) (see page 11) to help you select a character who is relevant to this assignment and interesting to you from the short stories, novels, plays, poetry, nonfiction, or films that you have studied in English Language Arts 30–2 • carefully consider your controlling idea or how you will create a strong unifying effect in your response. Organize your discussion so that your ideas are clearly and effectively presented 10 7 Assignment II: Literary Exploration Initial Planning Please use this space for your initial planning. This information assists markers in identifying the text(s) and character(s) you have chosen. The markers who read your composition will be very familiar with the literary texts you have chosen. Literary Text(s) Author(s) Character(s) Personal Reflection on Choice of Character(s) from Literary Text(s) Suggested time: 10 minutes Briefly explain why you chose this character to develop your opinion of the idea that courage is an important quality. Markers will consider the information you provide here when determining the effectiveness of your response. There is additional space for planning on pages 12, 14, 16, and 18. 11 8 ASSIGNMENT III: PERSUASIVE WRITING IN CONTEXT Suggested time: 40 to 50 minutes Read the situation described below and use it to complete the assignment that follows. The Situation Recognizing the potentially dangerous situations that exist in many North American schools, the Prosper School Board is considering a proposal to install a state-of-the-art security system in Prosper School and in their school buses. Those in favour believe that the initiative will ensure that Prosper School continues to be a safe and secure learning and teaching environment. Opponents consider the security system to be not only expensive but unnecessary and intrusive. In deciding whether or not to accept the proposal, the Prosper School Board has invited concerned individuals to make their views known. You are Sevan Reynolds, a Grade 12 student at Prosper High School. You have considered information and opinions from a variety of sources (see pages 22 and 23). After considering the advantages and disadvantages of the proposal, you have reached a decision. You now need to write a persuasive letter that clearly explains • your decision on whether or not the school board should accept the proposal • the reasons why you believe your decision to be the best decision The Assignment Write a letter that will persuade the Prosper School Board either to ACCEPT or REJECT the proposal to install a security system. In preparing your letter, BE SURE TO • consider your purpose and audience • study the information on the following pages • use an appropriate tone Remember that you must clearly and directly choose either to accept or to reject the proposal. 21 9 What is the proposed installation of a security system? The proposal is to install a video surveillance management system with cameras within the school, on the school roof, and on school buses. External doors will have metal detectors. All staff, including teachers, aides, bus drivers, and administrative support, and all volunteers must have security clearance by the police service. Security ID badges will be required for students and staff. A Safe Team comprised of representatives from the School Council, the Student Council, and the staff will be responsible for safety planning and coordination. This proposal reinforces the present contribution of the police in the role of the School Resource Officer. Statement from the Prosper School Protection Committee We support the proposal to make safety a priority in Prosper School. The surveillance plan will give us peace of mind, mainly because individuals planning illegal acts will be deterred by the presence of the cameras. As well, we can more easily identify those who do offend with graffiti, theft, and vandalism and those who bully and harass others, especially in areas that are difficult to supervise. We are convinced that if students know they are being monitored they are likely to behave properly and pay attention to their learning while growing in self-esteem and good citizenship. Statement from Parents for Personal Privacy We are opposed to this proposal. The cost may well be prohibitive, especially when we really do not know if Prosper School needs such a system. We do not know how effective it will be, and we do not know what we will have to factor in for long-term maintenance and upgrading equipment. But more important is the very real concern for loss of privacy for staff and students alike and the possibility of an individual being targeted for surveillance based on rumour, suspicion, or malicious gossip. We are convinced that this proposal will have a seriously damaging effect on student morale. 22 10 Opinions on the proposal to install a security system I’ve just returned from spring break, visiting my cousin in the U.S. His school had just finished their break, so I got a chance to see his school. Bizarre. At the front door where there was a metal detector, he had to call a security guard to take me to the main office to get a special pass. Then, a sniffer dog sort of nosed around me. There were cameras everywhere, except in the bathrooms. I felt like I was a criminal. I don’t think Prosper School needs to become like a prison. Ali Blazer, Grade 11 student I have a cousin in Ontario who has been really sick this year and had to stay home. His school has a security system that includes web cams in every classroom. He can watch and listen to the lessons, the discussions, and the group activities. He can even replay them if he misses something. He says he doesn’t feel totally out of it anymore because, in a way, he is participating in school life and he can talk to his friends about what happened. We have lots of students who could benefit from this technology, especially when the weather is crappy and the buses aren’t running, which happens a lot here. Ellis Peters, Grade 12 student The emotional and psychological consequences must be taken into account before we go further with this proposal. One of our major goals as a school is to encourage students to be critically aware, confident, independent, and creative human beings. If students feel that they are being spied on or if they sense that they are not trusted, they can neither feel comfortable nor develop a sense of responsibility and good citizenship. Instead of creating a safe and secure school climate, this proposal will create a culture of fear. Madita deVries, school counsellor We thoroughly support this proposal. Recent violent and tragic events in a number of educational institutions throughout North America must be a reminder that providing safe schools is what society owes its young people. We must be vigilant in protecting our students and, indeed, the school itself. The surveillance system will deter property damage in and outside of the school, and it will ensure acceptable student and staff behaviour. We cannot but think that those who oppose the concept are most likely those who would be offenders. Sam and Sue Balarian, parents 23 11 English Language Arts 30–2 Part A: Written Response Standards Confirmation Background For all diploma examination scoring sessions, Learner Assessment staff use a process called Standards Confirmation to establish and illustrate expectations for students’ work in relation to the scoring criteria, as well as to ensure scoring consistency within and between marking sessions. Because there are several diploma examination administrations and scoring sessions each school year, the standards must remain consistent for each scoring session in the school year and, similarly, from year to year. Standards for student achievement start with the demands of the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts and with the interpretation of those demands through learning resources and classroom instruction. These agreed-upon standards are also exemplified in the kinds of tasks and the degree of independence expected of students. All of these complex applications of standards precede the design, development, and scoring of each diploma examination. The Standards Confirmation Committee comprises experienced teachers from representative regions of the province. These teachers work with the Learner Assessment staff responsible for the development, scoring, and results reporting for each diploma examination. Teacher-members participate over a two-year period and are required to serve as group leaders or markers during at least one of the subsequent marking sessions. There are two essential parts to applying standards at the point of examination scoring: the expectations embedded in the scoring criteria and the examples of students’ work that illustrate the scoring criteria within each scoring category. The scoring categories and scoring criteria are available to teachers and students via the 2009–2010 English Language Arts 30–2 Information Bulletin. During each of the January and June marking sessions, example papers selected by members of the Standards Confirmation Committee are used to train markers. Subsequent to each marking session, the example papers that received scores of Satisfactory (S), Proficient (Pf), and Excellent (E) are posted on the Alberta Education website at www.education.alberta.ca in the documents entitled Examples of the Standards for Students’ Writing. The standards confirmation process • confirms the appropriateness of the standards set by the examination in relation to students’ work • selects student responses that clearly illustrate the standards in the scoring categories and the scoring criteria to be used when training markers • writes rationales that explain and support the selection of sample papers in terms of the scoring categories, scoring criteria, and students’ work 12 English Language Arts 30–2 Impressions of Standards Confirmers January 2009 Assignment I: Visual Reflection The photographs of the European and the African families proved very accessible to students; so much so that nearly everyone who wrote was able to see and comment on the disparity in the photographs. Many students developed “global” ideas that included discussions of the wealth and abundance of Western countries compared to that of countries in Africa. Given the obvious nature of the contrast between the photographs, markers should evaluate the effectiveness of the response in terms of the quality of the idea that the student develops and the strength of the support provided. Students often commented on the significance of the African family being larger despite having fewer resources to support them. Many students commented on their own feelings of being undeserving of the wealth of choices they take for granted and often remarked on the type of “trivial’ things they are concerned with (iPods and cell phones) compared to the very real concerns that people in developing countries face. Students frequently made a variety of assumptions about the relative happiness of each of the families in the photographs. As always, students’ understanding of particular countries and cultures varied, and some students made statements that were oversimplified or incorrect. Such assumptions and statements did not affect the quality of the responses. Assignment II: Literary Exploration The reading selection from The Magician’s Nephew and the topic of courage engaged student writers. Students discussed their ideas on the topic in relation to personal observations, their own experiences, and literature and film studied in ELA 30–2. Unifying effects were varied: some students chose to focus primarily on literature, while others developed responses that focused on the importance of courage and related it to personal experience and to characters from literature or film. Students frequently chose to discuss more than one piece of literature, sometimes comparing the courage demonstrated by individual characters and sometimes discussing each text separately. The nature of this assignment also elicited a wide variety of personal experiences that were related effectively to the topic. Markers are reminded that the focus of this assignment is on the idea that the student develops in relation to the topic and on how effectively the student explores and supports this idea. Thus, while the literary example is essential, it is but one component of the response as a whole. Because literary examples are often brief and tightly focused on a particular situation or character, markers were reminded to read the information provided by students in the Personal Reflection on Choice of Character(s) from Literary Text(s), and to ensure that they are familiar with the literature or films chosen. Popular literary selections included Finding Fish, Fallen Angels, Fahrenheit 451, A Streetcar Named Desire, Night, and Death of a Salesman. Students also used films such as Pay It Forward, The Shawshank Redemption, Life is Beautiful, Schindler’s List, and Hotel Rwanda. 13 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context The proposal to install a state-of-the art security system in Prosper High School generated strong responses from student writers. Due to the comprehensive nature of the security system proposal, many students recognized and accepted the need for security cameras while questioning the necessity for such features as metal detectors, especially in a small and relatively safe school like Prosper. These responses were seen as rejecting the proposal as stated in the assignment. Students drew key details from the source material and occasionally supplemented their arguments with references to their own personal observations, experiences, and to incidents that have occurred in schools throughout North America. Students also frequently noted additional benefits of the system such as classroom webcams that would allow students not in school to “stay in touch” with classroom activities. Some students also chose to acknowledge and refute positions from the opposing side. Most students were well aware of their purpose in persuading the Prosper School Board and maintained an appropriate tone. 14 Examples of Student’s Writing with Teacher’s Commentaries English Language Arts 30–2 Visual Reflection Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Satisfactory (S) This example (page 15) is unavailable for posting. 15 English Language Arts 30–2 Visual Reflection Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Proficient (Pf) (Page 1 of 2) 16 (Page 2 of 2) 17 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment I: Visual Reflection EXAMPLE PAPER—Proficient (Pf) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Ideas and Impressions (Pf) • The student’s perceptions are thoughtful and considered. The student’s perception that “Although we know there is a shortage of food in thirdworld countries and we see how much they eat in a week, it is completely different to see it next to an average family from Europe” and the recognition that putting the pictures together “makes you feel the guilt of knowing how much you truly have compared to others” are thoughtful and considered. • Support is relevant, detailed, and clearly connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. Support is relevant, as in “vast amount of food” and “amount food in front of them is very small”; detailed, as in “They look fulfilled but not exactly happy,” “This emotion is carried through by the lighting and how they are standing in a darkened part of the room,” and “The colors surrounding the family are muted shades, which really establish the sense of poverty they live in”; and clearly connected to the student’s ideas and impressions, as in “But then how would your families weekly food look if laid out in front of you?” 18 Pf SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Presentation (Pf) • The student’s voice is distinct and the tone is well considered. The student’s voice is distinct (“vast amount of food,” “muted shades,” and “establish the sense of poverty”) and the tone is well considered (“shocking,” “Again if you only saw the one picture how would you see them?” and “the European family are just ‘pigs’”). • Stylistic choices are specific and frequently effective. Stylistic choices are specific and frequently effective: “shortage of food,” “fulfilled but not exactly happy,” and “Now you look at the people and they are dressed in bright clothes that although simple are very nice.” • The writing is coherently developed, and the unifying effect is capably sustained. The writing is coherently developed, and the unifying effect is capably sustained from the assertion that “the pictures would look entirely different alone, although they are meant to be shown together” through the discussions of the two images to the recognition that “together you get an entirely different experience from the images,” which “really puts things in perspective.” 19 Pf English Language Arts 30–2 Visual Reflection Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Excellent (E) (Page 1 of 2) 20 (Page 2 of 2) 21 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment I: Visual Reflection EXAMPLE PAPER—Excellent (E) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Ideas and Impressions (E) • The student’s perceptions are insightful and carefully considered. The student’s perceptions that “the photographer who took this picture was trying to reveal the startling truth of how easily we dismiss the things we should be greatful for and take so much for granted” and that “Our society has lost it’s ability to decipher between it’s needs and wants” are insightful and carefully considered. • Support is precise, purposefully chosen, and strongly connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. Support, such as “If our lives were put in Jeopardy on a weekly basis much like the African family, would we not learn to acknowledge the simple blessings,” “Having little to no luxuries one must learn to be resorcefull and develop strong work ethic,” and “As gatherers, drivin to the edge of starvation at each passing week, it is easy to assume that the Africans are reasonably greatfull for life and have established a deep family connection,” is precise, purposefully chosen, and strongly connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. 22 E SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Presentation (E) • The student’s voice is engaging and the tone is confident. The student’s voice is engaging throughout the response with the use of rhetorical questions: “Do you see a happy middle class family blessed with prosperity?,” “do we appreciate our loved ones as much as we should?,” and “ask yourself wich society is truly living in poverty?” The tone is confident: “Our society has lost it’s ability,” “The fact is that we are all guilty,” and “The individual roles taken to ensure the survival of the group instill a sense of purpose.” • Stylistic choices are precise and effective. Stylistic choices—“selfishly taking more than we need, blindly wasting what we could have used and rarely giving a second thought” and “If our lives were put in jeopardy”—are precise and effective. • The writing is skilfully developed, and the unifying effect is confidently sustained. The writing is skillfully developed and the unifying effect is confidently sustained from the initial question about the photographs to the concluding rhetorical question. 23 E English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Satisfactory (S) 24 (Page 1 of 2) 25 (Page 2 of 2) 26 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration EXAMPLE PAPER—Satisfactory (S) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Thought and Support (S) • A defensible A defensible understanding of the topic is understanding of the topic demonstrated: “People would have to have is demonstrated. lots of courage to do what they did.” • The student’s ideas are appropriately and straightforwardly explored. The student’s ideas are appropriately and straightforwardly explored through comments about The Magician’s Nephew (“Digory has courage to go off in to anther world”), Into the Wild (“Chris shows courage by leave all of society be hind him”), and the student’s own experience about saving a friend from a bull. • The literary example is related adequately to the student’s ideas. The literary example is related adequately to the student’s ideas, as in “If Chris did not have a lot of courage he would have not been able to live out in the wild as long as he did with the amount of experience he had.” • Support is relevant but tends to be general. Support is relevant but tends to be general in statements such as “Digory has courage by standing up to his uncle and telling him that if he was bigger he would punch him right in the face,” “Chris goes out in to Alaska with not that many supply’s,” and “The one time when my friend ran across he could not get away from the bulls so i had to run in and scare the bulls away from him so he could get away from them.” 27 S SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Form and Structure (S) • A controlling idea or unifying effect is evident, but unity may falter on occasion. A controlling idea or unifying effect is evident from the opening remark that “People do many courageous things in there lives” through to the final assertion that “Every one should have courage it is very important to have in life.” • Development of ideas and Development of ideas and explanations is explanations is generally generally clear and coherent in paragraphs clear and coherent. starting with the statements “In the excerpt The Magician’s Nephew Digory shows that he has a lot of courage,” “In the novel Into the Wild Chris shows that he has courage,” and “There has been one time when I have shown courage.” • The response moves to a functional closure. S The response moves to a functional closure in the summary of the ideas. Matters of Choice (S) • Diction is appropriate but may be general rather than specific. Diction is appropriate but may be general rather than specific, as in “Courage is an important quality because people can be very brave” and “His uncle tells him that he needs to go get her so he does this.” • Sentence structures are generally straightforward and clear. Sentence structures are generally straightforward and clear: “Chris gets rid of all his identifications and leaves town” and “We would take turns running across the pen having the bulls chases us.” • Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a clear voice. Stylistic choices—“he sent Digorys friend off in to another world,” “When I was younger I was at a friends house and we were out playing in the bulls pen,” and “If Chris did not have courage he would have never followed his dream”—contribute to the creation of a clear voice. 28 S SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Matters of Correctness (S) • This writing demonstrates control of the basics of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. This writing demonstrates control of the basics of correct sentence construction, usage, and grammar, as in “Digory shows that courage is an important quality to have because Digory might be trapped in another world because they do not know if the rings work right,” “He burns the rest of the money that he has and heads towards Alaska,” and “Courage is a very important quality to have.” • There may be occasional lapses in control of sentence construction and usage, and/or minor errors in grammar and mechanics. There are occasional lapses in control of sentence construction (“Chris from the novel Into The Wild he is lots of courage”) and usage (“there”), and minor errors in grammar (“Chris shows courage by leave all of society”) and mechanics (“supply’s” and “friends”). • The communication, however, is clear. The communication is clear. 29 S English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Proficient (Pf) 30 31 (Page 1 of 3) 32 (Page 2 of 3) 33 (Page 3 of 3) 34 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration EXAMPLE PAPER—Proficient (Pf) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Thought and Support (Pf) • A well-considered A well-considered understanding of the understanding of the topic topic is demonstrated through the student’s is demonstrated. discussion of the idea that courage “gives you that little push when you start doubting yourself.” • The student’s ideas are thoughtfully explored. The student’s ideas are thoughtfully explored both through the discussion of The Shawshank Redemption, where Red overcame the belief that prison was “where he belonged after being there for so long,” and through the student’s personal example of returning to school. • The literary example is The literary example is related related competently to the competently to the student’s ideas, as in student’s ideas. “Red finally got enough courage to travel to visit his friend and was glad he had done so because he proved to himself that living outside of prison walls was possible.” • Support is specific and relevant. Support is specific and relevant in the discussion of how Red overcomes his anxiety about facing the “‘real world’” and in the student’s discussion of her own experiences and the “gentle pushes” that encouraged her to give school “another go.” 35 Pf SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Form and Structure (Pf) • A controlling idea or unifying effect is sustained throughout the response. The controlling idea that “Courage is an important quality because it makes you do things that you thought were impossible” is sustained throughout the response. • Development of ideas and Development of ideas and explanations is explanations is coherent. coherent through the discussions of Red gaining the courage to re-enter the world and the student’s decision to return to school. Pf • The response moves to an The response moves to an appropriate appropriate closure. closure in the concluding paragraph where the student summarizes her main ideas. Matters of Choice (Pf) • Diction is specific and generally effective. Diction is specific and generally effective, as in “modernization,” “incarcerated,” and “flying colours.” • Many sentences appear to Sentences, such as “Red wanted to go see have been purposefully him but the sweet callings of ‘home’ kept structured for effect. calling him saying ‘It’s safe here, come back to Shawshank,’” have been purposefully structured for effect. • Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a competent voice. Stylistic choices—“little extra ‘oomph’ of self-confidence,” “stick out our chins and marched forward,” and “get into the groove”—contribute to the creation of a competent voice. 36 Pf SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Matters of Correctness (Pf) • This writing demonstrates The writing demonstrates competent competent control of control of correct sentence construction, correct sentence usage, grammar, and mechanics. construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. • Minor errors in mechanics, grammar, and/ or complex language structures are understandable considering the circumstances. Minor errors in mechanics, grammar, and complex language structures are understandable considering the circumstances. 37 Pf English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Excellent (E) (Page 1 of 3) 38 (Page 2 of 3) 39 (Page 3 of 3) 40 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration EXAMPLE PAPER—Excellent (E) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Thought and Support (E) • An insightful An insightful understanding of the topic is understanding of the topic demonstrated in the exploration of the idea is demonstrated. that “Without courage our world would not be what it is today and the human race would most definitely not have survived” and in the recognition that “Courage shapes what our cultures are and what kind of individuals we are.” • The student’s ideas are perceptively explored. The student’s ideas are perceptively explored in the discussions of how “Digory’s courageous ambitions are used to save the little girl,” how “Forrest also uses his courage to protect the people around him that matter,” and how “Without courage, the Soviets may not have made it to space nor would they have been able to compete against a space race with the Americans and prevail.” • The literary example is related effectively to the student’s ideas. The literary example is related effectively to the student’s ideas through such statements as “during the Vietnam War he prevailed with his sense of strong morals and his astonishing sense of courage to protect his friends” and “The courage Forrest displayed is an important quality to human beings as it assures our survival and the survival of those around us.” • Support is precise and effective. Support is precise and effective: “he manages to muster the courage from inside him as he knows that there is a small girl he must protect,” “If it was not for that act of courage, more men would have died and Forrest would have most likely perished along with them,” and “From … the first Soviet Cosmonauts or the first human to gaze into the night sky; all of these acts took courage.” 41 E SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Form and Structure (E) • A focused controlling idea or unifying effect is skillfully sustained throughout the response. A focused controlling idea is skillfully sustained throughout the student’s discussion of the excerpt, Forrest Gump, and space exploration. • Development of ideas and The development of ideas and explanations explanations is smooth is smooth and coherent through the and coherent. discussion of Digory facing “a task of meeting the unknown in a place out of the world,” Forrest having “strong moral values and a sense of courage to do what is right,” and humanity possessing “the quality of courage that allowed man to explore out of this world.” • The response flows to an effective closure. E The response flows to an effective closure in “Traveling through time, saving friends on a battle field or going where no man has gone before takes great amounts of courage.” Matters of Choice (E) • Diction is precise and effective. Diction, such as “great strides in technological achievements,” “skeptical at first,” “embark on this journey,” “dire situation,” “preserve and protect life,” and “courageous ambitions,” is precise and effective. • Many sentences have been successfully structured for effect and are sometimes polished. Many sentences have been successfully structured for effect (“Ages ago during the times of man and beast, man prevailed with courage to survive”) and are sometimes polished (“Although frightened and unsure about the situation, Digory’s courageous ambitions are used to save the little girl”). • Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a convincing voice. Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a convincing voice: “Every war fought on earth has been met with brave acts of courage” and “all of these acts took courage and that courage made the acts possible.” 42 E SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Matters of Correctness (E) • This writing demonstrates confident control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. • The relative absence of error is impressive considering the complexity of the response and the circumstances. This writing demonstrates confident control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics: “One of the best examples of courage can be seen during the pioneering years of the space race” and “If it was not for the courage of the Cosmonauts and the rest of the Soviet Union, man may have never made it into space.” The relative absence of error is impressive considering the complexity of the response and the circumstances. 43 E English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Satisfactory (S) (Page 1 of 2) 44 (Page 2 of 2) 45 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context EXAMPLE PAPER—Satisfactory (S) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Thought and Support (S) • A sufficient but generalized understanding of the issue is demonstrated. A sufficient but generalized understanding of the issue is demonstrated as in “I am writing to you to show my aproval on the proposed installations of video surveillance and security system.” • The student’s arguments are appropriate and straightforward. The student’s arguments are appropriate and straightforward: “The video surveillance will allow for proper punishment of crimes being comitted,” “this security system will help monitor places that are difficult to supervise,” and “This is being used for our advantage and will ensure safety and a pleasant enviomment.” • Support is relevant but general, and may be occasionally lacking in persuasiveness and consistency. Support is relevant but general: “with the number of gangs and violence increasing this is becoming harder to maintain,” “metal detectors will keep out harmful weapons and substances,” and “This system will very expensive and will require regular maintance.” • Awareness of audience is generally sustained. Awareness of audience is generally sustained from the introduction through to the request to “Take into consideration whats right for the students.” 46 S SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Writing Skillls (S) • The selection and use of words and structures are occasionally effective. • This writing demonstrates basic control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. The selection and use of words and structures are occasionally effective: “becoming harder for routine supervision to be effective” and “It is also becoming more difficult to keep track of students so visible security ID badges will protect us from intruders.” The writing demonstrates basic control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar and mechanics (“Students, parents and teachers could possibly find ways to raise the money or school fees could be increased”). 47 S English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Proficient (Pf) (Page 1 of 2) 48 (Page 2 of 2) 49 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context EXAMPLE PAPER—Proficient (Pf) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Thought and Support (Pf) • A thoughtful and competent understanding of the issue is demonstrated. A thoughtful and competent understanding of the issue is demonstrated through the student’s recognition that with the installation of a security system, the “positives undeniably outweigh the negatives.” • The student’s arguments are well considered and sound. The student’s arguments are well considered and sound throughout the discussion of how “This system is here to make sure that our school is safe and everyone throughout the school is in a secure learning and teaching atmosphere.” • Support is accurate and occasionally purposefully chosen to reinforce the student’s ideas in a logical and clear way. Support is accurate and purposefully chosen—“We are convinced that the students will behave more properly if they are being monitored,” “Since a lot of students have to miss school because they are sick or they are on vacation, they will now be able to see what they learnt in class through a web cam,” and “it will help stop tragic events such as school shootings or violence around the school.” • Awareness of audience is sustained. Awareness of audience is sustained from the student’s opening statement that he is “here to tell you my opinion on the proposal of installing a video surveillance management system” to the conclusion “Thank you for your time and consideration and I hope you keep this in mind.” 50 Pf SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Writing Skills (Pf) • The selection and use of words and structures are frequently effective. • This writing demonstrates competent control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. The selection and use of words— “undeniably outweigh,” “bound to happen,” “fast forward or rewind” and structures —“Although people feel as if it cannot happen here in Prosper, it can happen anywhere and can happen when you least expect it”—are frequently effective. The writing demonstrates competent control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics (“Some people believe that installing this system for Prosper High will cause students to feel that they are being spied on or that they are criminals”). 51 Pf English Language Arts 30–2 Literary Exploration Assignment, January 2009 Example Scored Excellent (E) 52 English Language Arts 30–2 January 2009 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context EXAMPLE PAPER—Excellent (E) SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Thought and Support (E) • A perceptive and thorough understanding of the issue is demonstrated. A perceptive and thorough understanding of the issue is demonstrated in the student’s recognition that “this security system would be one of the best things that could happen to Prosper High School”; yet, in “a small school in a peaceful town,” several elements of the proposed security system are “unnecessary and redundant.” • The student’s arguments are adept and convincing. The student’s argument that “Although our school is not a typically dangerous one since we live in a small town, I still feel it necessary to bring in a security system,” but that adopting the entire proposal will create a school that is “intimidating” is adept and convincing. • Support is well defined and purposefully chosen to reinforce the student’s ideas in a deliberate and judicious way. Support is well defined and purposefully chosen: “Students typically spend more time at school than they do at their own home,” “Many violent events take place in school grounds, and by installing a security system, those violent and tragic events would be limited, perhaps even stopped,” “they deserve to be protected all the time,” and “We don’t need metal detectors, or drugs dogs, or even security guards; a few cameras would suffice and get the job done.” • A precise awareness of audience is effectively sustained. A precise awareness of audience is effectively sustained from the opening address through the rhetorical questions (“Yes it may be a pricey experience, but how can one put a cost on a child’s safety and well being?” and “As they reach the work force, there will be security cameras there as well, so why is it such an alarming idea to provide the same system in a school?”) to the closing assertion that the security system “is the right choice.” 53 E SCORING CRITERIA RATIONALE SCORE Writing Skills (E) • The selection and use of words and structures are effective. The selection and use of words and structures are effective in statements such as “We are a small school in a peaceful town and a system that immense is just unnecessary and redundant” and “The security system is set up to keep the students safe, not to ruin their creativity.” • This writing demonstrates confident control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. This writing demonstrates confident control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics: “I feel that this proposal is, without doubt, an admirable one for many reasons and I am writing in hopes that you will thoroughly recognize my opinions and take them into consideration” and “I understand what Ali Blazer means when she stated how intimidating the school was when she went to visit her cousin, but why would we go to that extent for a security system?” 54 E Scoring Categories and Criteria Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment I: Visual Reflection Ideas and Impressions (5% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 2.1 2.2 2.3 4.1 When marking Ideas and Impressions, the marker should consider • the quality of the ideas generated by the student to explore the visual text(s) and the impressions that the student has formed to reflect upon the visual text(s) • the effectiveness and consistency of the support provided Excellent (E) The student’s perceptions are insightful and carefully considered. Support is precise, purposefully chosen, and strongly connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. Proficient (Pf) The student’s perceptions are thoughtful and considered. Support is relevant, detailed, and clearly connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. Satisfactory (S) The student’s perceptions are appropriate but may be generalized. Support is adequate and generally connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. Limited (L) The student’s perceptions are superficial or ambiguous. Support is imprecise, unclear, and/or vaguely connected to the student’s ideas and impressions. Poor (P) The student’s perceptions are underdeveloped or incomprehensible. Support is lacking, inappropriate, or unrelated to the student’s ideas and impressions. Insufficient (INS) • The marker can discern no evidence of an attempt to fulfill the assignment or • The writing is so deficient in length that it is not possible to assess Ideas and Impressions. 55 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment I: Visual Reflection Presentation (5% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 3.1 3.2 4.1 4.2 When marking Presentation, the marker should consider • the effectiveness of voice and its appropriateness to the intended audience of the prose form that the student has chosen • the quality of language and expression • the appropriateness of development and unifying effect to prose form Consider the proportion of error in terms of the complexity and length of the response. Excellent (E) The student’s voice is engaging and the tone is confident. Stylistic choices are precise and effective. The writing is skillfully developed, and the unifying effect is confidently sustained. Proficient (Pf) The student’s voice is distinct and the tone is well considered. Stylistic choices are specific and frequently effective. The writing is coherently developed, and the unifying effect is capably sustained. Satisfactory (S) The student’s voice is matter-of-fact and the tone is appropriate. Stylistic choices are adequate and occasionally effective. The writing is generally clearly developed, and the unifying effect is appropriately sustained. Limited (L) The student’s voice is inconsistent and/or the tone is inappropriate. Stylistic choices are inappropriate, imprecise, and often ineffective. The writing is unclearly or incoherently developed, and the unifying effect is not sustained. Poor (P) The student’s voice is confused and/or there is no discernible attempt to address the intended audience. Stylistic choices are ineffective and/or impede communication. The writing is ineffectively developed, and/ or a unifying effect is absent. 56 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration Thought and Support (10% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 2.1 2.3 3.2 4.1 4.2 When marking Thought and Support, the marker should consider how effectively • the student’s ideas reflect an understanding of the topic • the literary example relates to the student’s ideas • the support explains and/or clarifies the response Consider ideas presented in the Personal Reflection on Choice of Character(s) from Literary Text(s). Because students’ responses to the Literary Exploration Assignment vary widely— from philosophical discussions to personal narratives to creative approaches—assessment of the Literary Exploration Assignment on the diploma examination will be in the context of Louise Rosenblatt’s suggestion: … the evaluation of the answers would be in terms of the amount of evidence that the youngster has actually read something and thought about it, not a question of whether, necessarily, he has thought about it the way an adult would, or given an adult’s “correct” answer. Rosenblatt, Louise. “The Reader’s Contribution in the Literary Experience: Interview with Louise Rosenblatt.” By Lionel Wilson. English Quarterly 14, no.1 (Spring, 1981): 3–12. Excellent (E) An insightful understanding of the topic is demonstrated. The student’s ideas are perceptively explored. The literary example is related effectively to the student’s ideas. Support is precise and effective. Proficient (Pf) A well-considered understanding of the topic is demonstrated. The student’s ideas are thoughtfully explored. The literary example is related competently to the student’s ideas. Support is specific and relevant. Satisfactory (S) A defensible understanding of the topic is demonstrated. The student’s ideas are appropriately and straightforwardly explored. The literary example is related adequately to the student’s ideas. Support is relevant but tends to be general. Limited (L) An understanding of the topic may be evident but is only partially demonstrated or is not always defensible or sustained. The student’s ideas may be incompletely or unclearly explored. The literary example is lacking or does not relate adequately to the student’s ideas. Support may be deficient, vague, redundant, or marginally relevant. Poor (P) An implausible conjecture concerning the topic may be suggested. The student’s ideas, if present, are irrelevant, incomprehensible, or unexplored. The literary example is absent or unrelated to the student’s ideas. Support, if present, is overgeneralized or of questionable relevance. Insufficient (INS) • The marker can discern no evidence of an attempt to fulfill the assignment or • The writing is so deficient in length that it is not possible to assess Thought and Support. 57 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration (continued) Form and Structure (5% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 2.2 3.1 4.1 4.2 When marking Form and Structure, the marker should consider how effectively the student’s organizational choices result in • the development and maintenance of a controlling idea or unifying effect • the creation of a coherent, shaped, and concluded discussion in response to the assignment Excellent (E) A focused controlling idea or unifying effect is skillfully sustained throughout the response. Development of ideas and explanations is smooth and coherent. The response flows to an effective closure. Proficient (Pf) A controlling idea or unifying effect is sustained throughout the response. Development of ideas and explanations is coherent. The response moves to an appropriate closure. Satisfactory (S) A controlling idea or unifying effect is evident, but unity may falter on occasion. Development of ideas and explanations is generally clear and coherent. The response moves to a functional closure. Limited (L) A controlling idea or unifying effect may be evident, but the response lacks unity. Development of ideas and explanations is uncertain, inadequate, or incoherent. The response may not arrive at an appropriate closure. Poor (P) A controlling idea or unifying effect is absent. Development of ideas and explanations is unclear and ineffective. The response closes ineffectively. 58 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration Matters of Choice (5% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 4.2 When marking Matters of Choice, the marker should consider how effectively the student’s choices enhance communication. The marker should consider • diction, including connotative language, imagery, idiomatic expressions, and dialect • syntax, including such choices as parallelism, balance, inversion, sentence length, and variety • the contribution of stylistic choices to the creation of voice Excellent (E) Diction is precise and effective. Many sentences have been successfully structured for effect and are sometimes polished. Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a convincing voice. Proficient (Pf) Diction is specific and generally effective. Many sentences appear to have been purposefully structured for effect. Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a competent voice. Satisfactory (S) Diction is appropriate but may be general rather than specific. Sentence structures are generally straightforward and clear. Stylistic choices contribute to the creation of a clear voice. Limited (L) Diction is imprecise and/or inappropriate. Sentence structures are frequently ineffective and/or awkward. Inadequate stylistic choices contribute to the creation of an uncertain or unclear voice. Poor (P) Diction is inaccurate and/or overgeneralized. Sentence structures are misused to such an extent that clarity suffers. A lack of stylistic choices contributes to the creation of an ineffective voice. 59 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment II: Literary Exploration Matters of Correctness (5% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 4.2 When marking Matters of Correctness, the marker should consider the correctness of • sentence construction (completeness, consistency, subordination, coordination, predication) • usage (accurate use of words according to convention and meaning) • grammar (subject-verb/pronoun-antecedent agreement, pronoun reference, consistency of tense) • mechanics (punctuation, spelling, capitalization) Consider the proportion of error in terms of the complexity and length of the response. Excellent (E) This writing demonstrates confident control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. The relative absence of error is impressive considering the complexity of the response and the circumstances. Proficient (Pf) This writing demonstrates competent control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. Minor errors in mechanics, grammar, and/or complex language structures are understandable considering the circumstances. Satisfactory (S) This writing demonstrates control of the basics of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. There may be occasional lapses in control of sentence construction and usage, and/or minor errors in grammar and mechanics. The communication, however, is clear. Limited (L) This writing demonstrates faltering control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. The range of sentence construction problems and errors in usage, grammar, and/or mechanics blur the clarity of communication. Poor (P) This writing demonstrates lack of control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. The unclear and incorrect sentence constructions and jarring errors in usage, grammar, and mechanics impede communication. 60 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context Thought and Support (10% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 2.1 2.2 2.3 4.1 4.2 When marking Thought and Support, the marker should consider • how effectively the student has addressed the significance and complexity of the issue • the persuasiveness and consistency of the argument(s) presented • how well the supporting evidence is integrated, synthesized, and/ or developed to support the student’s arguments • awareness of audience and effectiveness of voice Excellent (E) A perceptive and thorough understanding of the issue is demonstrated. The student’s arguments are adept and convincing. Support is well defined and purposefully chosen to reinforce the student’s ideas in a deliberate and judicious way. A precise awareness of audience is effectively sustained. Proficient (Pf) A thoughtful and competent understanding of the issue is demonstrated. The student’s arguments are well considered and sound. Support is accurate and occasionally purposefully chosen to reinforce the student’s ideas in a logical and clear way. Awareness of audience is sustained. Satisfactory (S) A sufficient but generalized understanding of the issue is demonstrated. The student’s arguments are appropriate and straightforward. Support is relevant but general, and may be occasionally lacking in persuasiveness and consistency. Awareness of audience is generally sustained. Limited (L) An incomplete, vague, or confused understanding of the issue is demonstrated. The student’s arguments are oversimplified and/or inconsistent. Support is superficial, unclear, contradictory, inappropriate, or merely a restatement of what is provided in the examination. Awareness of audience may be apparent but is not sustained. Poor (P) An inaccurate or minimal understanding of the issue is demonstrated. The student’s arguments are of questionable logic or are unrelated to the issue under discussion. Support is irrelevant, overgeneralized, or lacking. Little awareness of audience is apparent. Insufficient (INS) • The marker can discern no evidence of an attempt to fulfill the assignment or • The writing is so deficient in length that it is not possible to assess Thought and Support. 61 Scoring Categories and Scoring Criteria for 2008–2009 Assignment III: Persuasive Writing in Context Writing Skills (5% of total examination mark) Cross-reference to the Program of Studies for Senior High School English Language Arts 4.2 When marking Writing Skills, the marker should consider the extent to which the writing demonstrates control of • • • • syntax diction grammar mechanics Consider the proportion of error in terms of the complexity and length of the response. Excellent (E) The selection and use of words and structures are effective. This writing demonstrates confident control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. Proficient (Pf) The selection and use of words and structures are frequently effective. This writing demonstrates competent control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. Satisfactory (S) The selection and use of words and structures are occasionally effective. This writing demonstrates basic control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. Limited (L) The selection and use of words and structures are frequently ineffective. This writing demonstrates faltering control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. Poor (P) The selection and use of words and structures are ineffective. This writing demonstrates lack of control of correct sentence construction, usage, grammar, and mechanics. 62