Example of good introduction Text 1a is an extract from “Billy”, a biography of Billy Connolly, written by Pamela Stephenson in 2001. Text 1b is an extract from the play “Comedians”, by Trevor Griffiths in 1976. The speakers in both texts are quite different: in text 1a is narrated in from the omniscient point of view of a third person, and text 1b has three different speakers who interact with each other. The audience for both texts is also different, because text 1a is very specific to the genre of comedians and would attract fans of Billy Connolly (a comedian_ or people who seek inspiration. Text 1b, however, is more accessible to a larger audience and would be read by both knowers of the genre and newcomers. The situation in both texts is quite similar, as in both texts the speakers debate or explain what the advantages of authentic jokes are. The common theme to both texts is taking risks in the pursuit of authenticity and perfection, which is demonstrated through the use of comedy as an example. To improve: Comma errors throughout and a few extra words In need of a thesis statement/preview statement Example of good analysis – Syntax The opposing stylistic features underline the different emotions during such tough physical circumstances. First of all regarding the syntax, 3a uses rather short sentences while in 2b the syntax is complex. The short sentences in 2a “The thirst became unbearable”, “My mouth was dry and I swallowed”, underline the overflow of emotions that the character is experiencing first-hand. Affected by the circumstances, he is unable to process them completely and thus writes in short sentences, similar to a list. 2b, on the other hand, uses long sentences, as they are filled with detailed descriptions and visuals. Thus while the short syntax in 2a shows how the individual is overwhelmed by the situation, the complex syntax in 2b represents the objective approach of the situation by the characters. To improve: Topic sentence to be about “syntax” and not “stylistic features” Example for 2b needed Finish final sentence with more analysis (… “and their desire to continue/persevere”) – link 2b back to the theme even more.