Katie Berger
The Ye Law Firm Inc, P.S.
November 3, 2021
Generous Heart Scholarship
As individuals, we are the combination of the influences surrounding us whether that be
environment, socioeconomic status, gender, etc, this idea is placed under the concept of
intersectionality. Setting that aside, along with those influences, everyone has their own set of
morals and values that guide us through life regardless of if we like it or not. When people face
feelings that conflict with those attitudes, the creation of cognitive dissonance becomes apparent,
an internal battle of two opposing beliefs in one’s self. People experience that feeling regularly,
however, there is a memory ingrained in my mind where that feeling was so intense, it almost
made me lose a sense of who I was.
Before I reached seventh grade, my dad fell ill, and simultaneously the world seemed to
flip on its axis. The simple and quaint life I lived with my three rambunctious siblings, lovely
mother, and dedicated father turned cold embedded with hospital visits and well wishes. After
further testing, my father was diagnosed with T-Cell Leukemia Lymphoma. It is so crazy how
one can get so comfortable with the uncertainty of life until one gets the answers. The smell of
latex surgical gloves began to make me shiver and the lack of channels on the hospital television
drove me to insanity. After a while, I began to resent my father for something he had nothing to
do with yet in my mind he was the one who brought chaos to the forefront of my life. So, I
stopped visiting and tried moving on before there was a need to. Looking back, it was a selfish
move to play but how else would a child deal with the influx of emotions like that without hiding
away from them. But one day was different. My mother was overwhelmed with her newfound
life and asked me to accompany her to the hospital, reluctantly I agreed. His room was silent, it
was just me and my father staring blankly with nothing really to say and nothing good enough to
distract us from reality, the monitor beeping was a constant reminder.
As my mother left the room to talk to some doctors and discuss their next moves, a cart
rolled in with my father’s food. She left the soup and crackers on my dad’s lap and offered to
help him eat. I gained this sudden sense of clarity and almost kicked myself at what I have done
to myself. My father immensely disliked being taken care of and was embarrassed at the
situation he was in. Nonetheless, there I was distancing myself from something he couldn’t back
away from. So I said, “ I will feed my dad, no worries.”. My dad had fed me as a baby and
looked after our family with devotion, now it was my turn to do the same for him. I brought the
soup to his lips and I saw in his eyes that he was sorry that I had to do this for him but I was just
happy to spend time with him. My heart knew I was someone who faced problems head-on and
loved to help others in need.
Although this experience caused me to grow up early and face the facts, it made me
recognize how life changes in an instant, and we have no control over it. That idea is scary,
however, it showed me that I should do what makes me happy rather than what makes me feel
comfortable. In the future, I wanted to make an impact on people and see the results in front of
me which sparked my love for education. As I stated earlier, individuals are a mixture of the
influences around them and their education is a part of that. Educational institutions for some
students are almost similar to a second home and what occurs there shapes and forms them.
Providing children with compassion and generosity early on can combat a multitude of issues
and give them the support that may lack in other areas of their lives. As a Special and
Elementary Education major, it has come to my attention that I am a foundational part of their
personality depending on how I foster the parts of them outwardly expressed. If I can teach them
all about how to be caring and compassionate members of society, that is a huge step in making a
generational difference.
With that being said, my father also dealt with personal struggles with mental health
during that time in his life as well as earlier on. In addition to being a Special and Elementary
Education major, I am getting a certification in psychology where I am a huge advocate for
mental health education and services. I believe a great way to encourage others to lend a hand to
others, is relinquishing the stigma surrounding mental health and behaviors associated with it.
Many believe individuals dealing with mental illness could be harmful to others, indulge in
substances, erratic behavior, and many other negative stereotypes which is not always the case.
To make people more aware of this instance would be through education, educating the public on
various beliefs they hold, and creating that cognitive dissonance causing them to try something
new.
In summation, human beings hold attitudes and values that were shaped by various
factors in their development and everyday life. As these flawed individuals, there may be events
in our life that cause us to fight the strong belief system we have inside but it all comes down to
whether or not that system needs to be changed to allow compassion in.