Student Development and Counselling Emotional intelligence noun: emotional intelligence the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. "emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success" A piece of information that tells you something about how you are experiencing your world. Are one thing common to all thus provides a sense of community Are experienced internally and expressed externally All emotions are forms of energy and can provide motivation Are both consciously and unconsciously generated Are modified by the socialisation process and genetic makeup of a person (temperament) Are not good or bad – they just are……………. These relationships are depicted below: Self awareness http://joshuaspodek.com/model-cognitive-behavioral-therapy 6 seconds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNY0AAUtH3g Stop: pause for 6 seconds Take a breath: one slow calm breath Observe: What am I thinking? What am I reacting to? What am I feeling in my body? Pull Back: Put in some perspective. See the bigger picture. Is this fact or opinion. Practice/proceed: What’s the best thing to do for me, for others, for the situation? Description Sample Activities Cognitive strategies Challenging your thoughts or letting them go Physical strategies Meditation, yoga, guided imagery, breathing regulation, exercise, grounding Withdrawal/avoidance Step away from person, situation or activity Pleasurable activities Humour, hobbies, socialising Emotional dialogue Venting, talking with others Indirect tension relaxant TV, chocolate, coffee, movies Direct tension relaxant Medication Disputation – find different ways to think about a situation…… ◦ Evidence - What evidence do you have to justify the thoughts and feelings you have? ◦ Thinking errors – Am I thinking irrationally about the situation? (What thinking errors are you making?) ◦ Alternatives - What are other possible causes of the situation? Are there other perspectives?? ◦ Implications - Is reacting in this way going to help or hinder? ◦ Usefulness - Sometimes the consequences of holding a thought are more destructive than the thought itself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LhLjpsstPY Passive: I don’t count, so you can take advantage of me. My feelings, needs and thoughts are less important than yours. I’ll put up with anything. Assertive: This is what I think. This is how I feel. This is how I see the situation. How about you? If our needs conflict, I am certainly ready to explore our differences and I may be prepared to compromise. Aggressive: This is what I think, what I want and what I feel. What matters to you isn’t important. “I” statements: I feel/ I’ve noticed… When you… because… I would prefer/could you please… Example: “You have given me too much work” “I feel overwhelmed because of all the work I have to do, is there anyway I can delegate this to someone else?” Be aware of how situations impact your thoughts, feelings and physical reactions and how these may influence your behaviours. Listen to verbal cues and observe non-verbal cues of others Use “I” statements not “you” statements STOPP (stop, take breath, observe, pull back, practice/proceed) Don’t immediately believe all of your thoughtschallenge them! Do regular self-care activities More reserved= move to left More outgoing= move to right To the more outgoing group… Move to front of the room if you describe yourself as someone who: Seeks challenges Tells it how it is Get the job down fast and efficiently Focus on achieving results Takes initiative To the more outgoing group… Move to the back of the room if you describe yourself as someone who: Generates enthusiasm in others Likes working with others Make sure there is time to talk Focus on overall vision Skim over detail To the more reserved group… Move to front of the room if you describe yourself as someone who: Pays attention to detail Approaches tasks systematically and thoroughly Set very high standards Thinks critically and analytically Organise tasks, files, drawers, cupboards well To the more reserved group… Move to the back of the room if you describe yourself as someone who: Work well as part of a team Make yourself available for others Maintain current arrangements Take time to listen and consult Smooth problems over to maintain a good relationship What are the strengths of your style? What do you feel uncomfortable about in your style? Limitations? What do you value about the other styles in the room? What do you find difficult about them? How would you approach another person who is causing you a difficulty? Think of what you would say, the time, the place and the setting. How would you like to be approached if you were someone who was causing difficulty? Share responses with larger group
