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COACHING COMMUNICATION TA EI and 6 Thinking hats
Communication is like a peeled banana and it can be had from any side. The quintessence of
life is communication. Even though there are yen no of ways to categorize communication, for
convenience sake, we will divide it into two major categories.
INTRA PERSONAL COMMUNICATION (self-motivation, auto-suggestions et al)
INTER PERSONAL COMMUNICATION (Linguistic Intelligence, Motivation, persuasion.)
Both complement each other and one without another is inevitable.
Communication is the need of the hour as most of us are looking forward to enhance our
Intra/ Inter personal communication skills to develop good rapport with our family, friends,
peers, employees, clients’ et al.
The Prime objective is to communicate with emotional Intelligence. Here, communicating with
Empathy, Social acumen, Persuasiveness along with Conflict Management is important.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
It is not APTITUDE but ATTITIDE that determines ones ALTITUDE in life.
IQ is a genetic lottery –--- Daniel Goleman – Emotional Intelligence
A high IQ is not enough to guarantee success in life. When you have a high Emotional
Intelligence Quotient (EQ) you are adept at interpreting the emotional roots to your own thinking
and behaviour and choosing your actions to influence outcomes.
------Jill Dann (Institute of Mgt – London) Test your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
The need of the hour is Emotional literacy and skills, which will help anyone to be successful in
their life.
A Gist of Emotional Intelligence
A High Intelligence (IQ) is not enough to guarantee success in life. When you have a high
Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ) you are adept at interpreting the emotional roots to your
own thinking and behaviour in as much as choosing your actions to influence outcomes. You are
also capable of making good insights into the behaviour of others. EI is the core of soft skills and
management competencies.
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There is no single view of what EI is; there are a number of different views.
The main EI School of thoughts.
EQ-iTM
The personalities – Dr Reuven Bar-On , Dr Steven Stein and Multi-Health System Inc
Dr Reuven Bar-On is a clinical psychologist who, since 1980, has researched in more than 12
countries to develop cross-cultural approach to describing and assessing the emotional, personal
and social components of intelligent behaviour. He coined the term ‘EQ’ in 1985 to describe his
approach.
Emotional Intelligence reflects one’s ability to deal with daily environment challenges and
helps predict one’s success in life, including professional and personal pursuits.
Major factors of the Reuven Bar-On EI Model (Measured by the BarOn EQ-iTM)
INTRA–
PERSONAL
INTERPERSONAL
STRESS
MANAGEMENT
ADAPTABILITY
GENERAL MOOD
AND
EFFECTIVE
PERFORMANCE
Dr Reuven Bar-On developed the BarOn EQ-iTM based on a comprehensive model of emotional
& social intelligence. He also proposed that if an individual develops his or her EI competencies
following the flow from 1 to 6 in the diagram, then he or she would be more successful in life.
INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS
❖
❖
❖
❖
❖
Self – Regard
Emotional Self-awareness
Assertiveness
Independence
Self-actualization.
INTERPERSONAL SKILLS
❖
❖
2
Empathy
Social Responsibility
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❖
Interpersonal Relationship (TA)
❖
❖
❖
STRESS MANAGEMENT
❖
❖
Stress Tolerance
Impulse Control
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Reality Testing
Flexibility
Problem Solving
GENERAL MOOD SCALES
❖
❖
ADAPTABILITY
Optimism
Happiness
The ECI
The personalities – Boyatzis, Daniel Goleman and Hay/McBer
Dr.Goleman, author of business best-seller. EI, why it can matter more than IQ and
Working with EI received plaudit. Goleman defines EI as
EI is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating
ourselves and for managing our own emotions well in ourselves and in our
relationship.
He considered emotional competence to be a learned capability based on Emotional
Intelligence that contributes to effective performance of work. He has defined a set of
emotional competencies, which are the basis of Emotional Competency Inventory (ECI)
and differentiate individuals by his or her EI. The framework falls into 4 clusters and
each has a set of competency.
ECI CLUSTERS
SELF AWARENESS
Capacity for understanding one’s own emotions, one’s strength and weakness.
EMOTIONAL SELF-AWARENESS
ACCURATE SELF-ASSESMENT
SELF-CONFIDENCE
SELF MANAGEMENT
Capacity for effectively managing one’s own motives and regulating one’s behaviour.
SELF-CONTROL
TRUSTWORTHINESS
CONSCIENTIOUSNESS
ADAPTABILITY
ACHIEVEMENT
ORIENTATION
INITIATIVE
SOCIAL AWARENESS
Capacity for understanding what others are saying and feeling and why they feel and act as they do.
EMPATHY
ORGANISATIONAL AWARENESS
SERVICE ORIENTATION
SOCIAL SKILLS
Capacity for acting in such a way that one is able to get desired results from others and reach the personal goals.
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DEVELOPING OTHERS
LEADERSHIP
INFLUENCE
COMMUNICATION
CHANGE CATALYST
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
BUILDING BONDS
TEAMWORK
COLLOBORATION
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Eric Berne's Transactional Analysis (TA) for Leadership, IPR and
Conflict Management
Eric Berne was born May 10, 1910 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, interned in the United States at
Englewood Hospital in New Jersey. In 1936 he began his psychiatric residency at the Psychiatric
Clinic of Yale University School of Medicine, where he worked for two years. In 1964 Berne and
his San Francisco and Monterey seminar colleagues decided to create a Transactional Analysis
Association, naming it the International Transactional Analysis Association in recognition of the
growing number of Transactional Analysis professionals outside the USA.
As a theory of personality, transactional analysis gives us a picture of how people are structured
psychologically using the three-part ego-state model. Transactional analysis offers a theory of
child development. The concept of life script explains how our present life patterns originated in
childhood. Transactional analysis develops explanations of how we may continue to replay
childhood strategies in grown-up life, even when these produce results that are self-defeating or
painful. Thus transactional analysis also provides a theory of psychopathology.
Ego State Model: An ego state is a set of related behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, a way in
which we manifest a part of our personality at a given time. Berne also said that each person is
made up of three alter ego states:
Parent
Adult
Child
These terms have different definitions than in normal language.
Parent is our ‘Taught’ concept of life
Adult is our ‘Thought’ concept of life
Child is our ‘Felt’ concept of life
When we communicate we are doing so from one of our own alter ego states, our Parent, Adult
or Child. Our feelings at the time determine which one we use, and at any time something can
trigger a shift from one state to another.
Parent ego state: This is a set of feelings, thinking and behaviour that we have copied from our
parents and significant others.
Adult ego state: The Adult ego state is about direct responses to the here and now. We deal with
things that are going on today in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by our past.
Child ego state: The Child ego state is a set of behaviors, thoughts and feelings, which are
replayed from our own childhood.
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After the
cellular birth,
the infant
witnesses a
claustrophobic
physical birth and patting from the nurse gives
confidence along with the magical mother’s
touch. Then psychological birth takes place. In
this stage the kid wants to touch, feel and see
things, but always restricted and reprimanded by the parents&elders.
It develops I am not OK but you are OK. People who still carry this Life position may suffer
from inferiority complex.
Social birth takes place when the kid goes to school and other places. The Next life position is
I am not OK but you are also not OK. “My father says, Smoking is bad but he smokes.” My
teacher asks me not to do things, but she does the same thing” The next life position is
I am OK but you are not OK. This is a grave situation as people think that they are correct and
others are not ok. Dictators and other psychopaths get into this status.
The final complimentary position is
I am OK and you are OK. Everyone should attain this stage of maturity.
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CONFLICT
Conflict can be either good or bad and it would be a little difficult to pin a definition for conflict.
•
Different combinations of these two dimensions can create conflict behaviors.
–
Competing behavior
•
–
Accommodating behavior
•
–
unassertive, uncooperative
Collaborating behavior
•
–
unassertive, cooperative
Avoiding behavior
•
–
assertive, uncooperative
assertive, cooperative
Compromising behavior
•
intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness
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Assertive
Competing
Uncooperative
Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding
Cooperative
Accommodating
Unassertive
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They Win- U Lose
Win-Win
Collaborating
YIELD
Midway
Compromise
Satisfying
others’
needs
Lose-Win
U Lose- They Lose
Avoiding
LOW
Competing
LOW
HIGH
Dr Stephen Covey is a management guru, whose book The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective
People, became a blueprint for personal development when it was published in 1990. The seven
habits are a remarkable set of inspirational standards for anyone who seeks to live a full,
purposeful and good life. Covey's values are full of integrity and humanity, and contrast strongly
with the colder logic- and process-based ideologies that characterized management thinking.
HABIT 1 - BE PROACTIVE
The ability to control one's environment, rather than have it control you, as is so often the case.
Self determination, choice, & the power to decide response to stimulus, conditions & circumstances
HABIT 2 - BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND
Covey calls this the habit of personal leadership - leading oneself i.e. towards what you consider your aims. By
developing the habit of concentrating on relevant activities you will build a platform to avoid distractions and
become more productive and successful.
HABIT 3 - PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST
Covey calls this the habit of personal management. This is about organising and implementing activities in line with
the aims established in habit 2. Covey says that habit 2 is the first, or mental creation; habit 3 is the second, or
physical creation.
HABIT 4 - THINK WIN-WIN
Covey calls this the habit of interpersonal leadership, necessary because achievements are largely dependent on cooperative efforts with others. He says that win-win is based on the assumption that there is plenty for everyone, and
that success follows a co-operative approach more naturally than the confrontation of win-or-lose.
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HABIT 5 - SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND AND THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD
One of the great maxims of the modern age. This is Covey's habit of communication, and it's extremely powerful.
Covey helps to explain this in his simple analogy 'diagnose before you prescribe'. This is Simple and effective, and
essential for developing and maintaining positive relationships in all aspects of life.
HABIT 6 - SYNERGIZE
Covey says this is the habit of creative co-operation - the principle that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts,
which implicitly lays down the challenge to see the good and potential in the other person's contribution.
HABIT 7 - SHARPEN THE SAW
This is the habit of self renewal, says Covey, and it necessarily surrounds all the other habits, enabling and
encouraging them to happen and grow. Covey interprets the self into four parts: the spiritual, mental, physical and
the social/emotional, which all need feeding and developing.
Stephen Covey's Seven Habits are a simple set of rules for life - inter-related and synergistic, and yet each one
powerful and worthy of developing in its own right. For many people, reading Covey's work, or listening to him
speak, literally changes their lives. This is powerful stuff indeed and highly recommended.
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Body Language
NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR
INTERPRETATION
Brisk, erect walk
Confidence
Standing with hands on hips
Readiness, aggression
Sitting with legs crossed, foot kicking slightly
Boredom
Sitting, legs apart
Open, relaxed
Arms crossed on chest
Defensiveness
Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders
hunched
Dejection
Hand to cheek
Evaluation, thinking
Touching, slightly rubbing nose
Rejection, doubt, lying
Rubbing the eye
Doubt, disbelief
Hands clasped behind back
Anger, frustration, apprehension
Locked ankles
Apprehension
Head resting in hand, eyes downcast
Boredom
Rubbing hands
Anticipation
Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs
crossed
Confidence, superiority
Open palm
Sincerity, openness, innocence
Pinching bridge of nose, eyes closed
Negative evaluation
Tapping or drumming fingers
Impatience
Steepling fingers
Authoritative
Patting/fondling hair
Lack of self-confidence; insecurity
Tilted head
Interest
Stroking chin
Trying to make a decision
Looking down, face turned away
Disbelief
Biting nails
Insecurity, nervousness
Pulling or tugging at ear
Indecision
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Six thinking hats
( used for thinking, reasoning, problem solving, decision making)
Dr Edward de Bono was born in Malta a degree in medicine, he proceeded as a Rhodes Scholar to Christ
Church, Oxford, where he gained an honours degree in psychology and then a D.Phil. in medicine. He
also holds a Ph.D. from Cambridge. He has had faculty appointments at the universities of Oxford,
London, Cambridge and Harvard.
Dr de Bono is regarded as the leading international authority in conceptual and creative thinking and in
the teaching of thinking as a skill. He originated the term ‘lateral thinking’, which now has an entry in the
Oxford English Dictionary, and is well known for the deliberate creative techniques associated with it and
for the powerful Six Thinking Hats method. His instruction has been sought by governments and by the
foremost corporations throughout the world such as IBM, NTT (Japan), DuPont, Prudential, Shell,
Eriksson, Ciba-Geigy, Ford and many others.
Dr de Bono designed and runs the CoRT Thinking Programme, which is internationally the most widely
used method for the teaching of thinking in schools and is in use in many countries around the world. He
is the founder of the Cognitive Research Trust, and the International Creative Forum, which brings
together many of the leading corporations of the world. He is the founder of SITO (Supranational
Independent Thinking Organisation) which was set up as a sort of Red Cross to provide additional and
creative thinking on problems and issues. He also set up the International Creativity Office in New York to
help the UN member countries generate fresh ideas.
Vertical thinking
Lateral thinking
Looking for the right approach
Looking for as many approaches as possible
Rightness
Richness
Proceeds if there is a direction
Proceeds to generate direction
Is analytical
Is provocative
Is sequential
Can make jumps
One must be correct at every step
One does not have to be correct at every
step
Uses negative to block off certain pathways
There is no negative
Excludes what is irrelevant
Welcomes chance intrusions
Fixed categories/labels
Labels may change
Explores most likely paths
Explores least likely paths
Is a finite process
Is a probabilistic process
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Key Benefits
Below are some of the key benefits clients find in using the Six Thinking Hats.
•
Works-they see results immediately
•
Reduces conflict
•
Simple to learn, use, and implement
•
Encourages cooperation
•
Not dependent on others
•
Enhances quality of thinking
•
Modifies behavior without attacking it
•
Supports other change initiatives
•
Empowers
•
Is available worldwide
•
Can be used at all levels
•
Improves cross-cultural interaction
# At an IBM laboratory in the United States, the Six Thinking Hats method reduced meeting times to onequarter of what they had been.
# At Siemens in Germany—the largest corporation in Europe— every department has a special
"innovation unit" based on the Six Thinking Hats method.
# At Statoil in Norway, the 6 Thinking Hats helped cut the cost of running an oil rig by $100,000 a day.
# The method is widely used at Prudential Insurance (the largest insurance group in the world), and the
former president of Prudential, Rob Barbaro, used the Six Hats framework every day with his staff.
# Siemens has over 35 certified Six Hats instructors working with employees throughout its European
offices. A division of Siemens reduced product development time by 50%.
# ABB was able to reduce a series of multinational project meetings from 30 days to 2 days.
# After learning de Bono creative thinking skills, fights between miners at a South African mine were
reduced from 210 per month, to 4.
# The hats are also in use at Honeywell, Motorola, Eli Lilly, Cargill, Fidelity Investments, National
Semiconductor, and in many other companies.
# Healthcare groups, financial institutions, chemical and pharmaceutical companies, manufacturers, and
utilities are just a few of the industries using Six Hats.
# At the time this revision was published, over 100,000 people had been trained in the hats in 35
countries.
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There are 480,000 results in goggle for Edward de bono and a few for your perusal
http://www2.cstudies.ubc.ca/~belfer/Papers/Metaphors.pdf
http://www.mycoted.com/creativity/techniques/index.php
http://www.mce.be/knowledge/364/38
http://www.tcs.com/0_media_room/events/200310oct/six_hats_thinking.htm
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Communicate with Emotional Intelligence by John Eaton and Roy Johnson ……………
I am OK; You are OK by Thomas A Harris
Emotional Intelligence et al by Daniel Goleman
Internet resource
DISAGREEMENT is a vital RESOURCE for discovering what either of us knew before.
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