UNDERSTANDING
THE SELF
Table of Contents
Chapter III – Managing and Caring for
the Self
Lesson 1: Learning to Be a Better
Learner
Lesson 2: Do Not Just Dream, Make
It Happen
Lesson 3: Less Stress, More Care
CHAPTER III
MANAGING AND CARING FOR
THE SELF
Lesson 1:
Learning to Be a Better
Learner
LESSON OBJECTIVES
At the end of this lesson, you should be able
to:
1. Explain how learning occurs;
2. Enumerate various metacognition and
studying techniques; and
3. Identify the metacognitive techniques
that you find most appropriate for
yourself.
ACTIVITY
How Do You Think About Thinking?
Answer the Metacognitive Awareness Inventory
(MAI) and evaluate yourself as a learner. A copy of
the MAI can also be downloaded from the following
link:
https://www2.viu.ca/studentsuccessservices/learnin
gstrategist/documents/Meta
cognitiveAwarenessInventory.pdf (accessed October
1, 2017).
ANALYSIS
Answer the questions below. Then write your answers in the
space provided.
1. Do you agree with the results of your MAI? Why or why
not?
2. Make a list of your “Top 5 Tips/Secrets for Studying” based
on your personal experiences/preferences. Share your
answer in class.
3. Does your MAI result consistent with your personal Top 5
Tips/Secrets for Studying?
ABSTRACTION
• Metacognition
- Commonly defined as “thinking about thinking”
- It is the awareness of the scope and limitations of your
current knowledge and skills.
- Enables the person to adapt their existing knowledge and
skills to approach a learning task, seeking for the optimum
result of the learning experience
- Includes keeping one’s emotions and motivations while
learning in check
- The goal of metacognition is for the student to be a selfregulated learner.
- Metacognition basically has two aspects:
1) self-appraisal is your personal reflection on your
knowledge and capabilities.
2) self-management is the mental process you
employ using what you have in planning and
adapting to successfully learn or accomplish a
certain task.
- Similar concepts:
1) metacognitive knowledge or what you know
about how you think
2) metacognition regulation or how you adjust
your thinking processes to help you learn better
- Under metacognitive knowledge, there are several variables
that affect how you know or assess yourself as a thinker:
• personal variable, which is your evaluation of your
strengths and weaknesses in learning
• task variable, which is what you know or what you think
about the nature of the task, as well as what strategies the
task requires
• strategy variable refers to what strategies or skills you
already have in dealing with certain tasks.
- You must have an accurate self-assessment—you must be
honest about what you know and capable of in order to find
ways to utilize your strengths and improve on your
weaknesses.
- The following are other skills that can help you in exercising
metacognition:
• Knowing your limits.
The scope and limitations of your resources so that you can
work with what you have at the moment and look for ways
to cope with other necessities
• Modifying your approach.
The recognition that your strategy is not appropriate with
the task, to modify your strategy in comprehending your
material
• Skimming.
Browsing over a material and keeping an eye on keywords,
phrases, or sentences
It is also about knowing where to search for such key terms.
•
Rehearsing. It’s not just about repeatedly talking,
writing, and/or doing what you have learned, but also
trying to make a personal interpretation or summary of
the learning experience.
• Self-Test. Trying to test your comprehension of your
learning experience or the skills you have acquired
during learning.
- Other strategies that you need to develop include asking
questions about your methods, self-reflection, finding a
mentor or support group if necessary, thinking out loud
(though you have to be considerate of others also when
doing this), and welcoming errors as learning experiences.
- Other tips that you can use in studying are the following:
1. Make an outline of the things you want to learn, the
things you are reading or doing, and/or the things you
remember.
2. Break down the task in smaller and more manageable
details.
3. Integrate variation in your schedule and learning
experience. Change reading material every hour and do
not put similar topics together.
4. Try to incubate your ideas.
5. Revise, summarize, and take down notes, then reread
them to help you minimize cramming in the last minute.
6. Engage what you have learned.
APPLICATION AND ASSESSMENT
Scenario:
You are about to study for your final examinations and it
is as if the universe conspired for a heavy finals week, all
your subjects provided at least three new reading
materials and topics one week (7 days) before the
examination period.
Create a diagram or schedule using at least five of the
metacognitive strategies, skills, and studying techniques
mentioned in this lesson on how you would prepare for
the next seven days before your final examinations.
LESSON SUMMARY
• Metacognition
- “Thinking about thinking”
- The awareness of the scope and limitations of your current
knowledge and skills
- To adapt their existing knowledge and skills to approach a
learning task, seeking for the optimum result of the
learning experience
• Metacognition basically has two aspects:
(1) self-appraisal is your personal reflection on your
knowledge and capabilities; and
(2) self-management is the mental process you employ
using what you have in planning and adapting.
• Similar concepts:
(1) metacognitive knowledge or what you know about how
you think
(2) metacognition regulation or how you adjust your
thinking processes
- Several variables that affect how you know or assess
yourself as a thinker:
• Personal variable, evaluation of your strengths and
weaknesses in learning
• Task variable, what you know or what you think about
the nature of the task, as well as what strategies the
task requires
• Strategy variable, strategies or skills you already have
in dealing with certain tasks
- Skills that can help you in exercising metacognition:
• Knowing your limits. The scope and limitations of
your resources
• Modifying your approach. To modify your strategy in
comprehending your material
• Skimming. Browsing over a material and keeping an
eye on keywords, phrases, or sentences
• Rehearsing. Personal interpretation or summary of
the learning experience
• Self-Test. To test your comprehension of your learning
experience or the skills you have acquired during
learning
- Other strategies:
• asking questions about your methods
• self-reflection
• finding a mentor or support group if necessary
• thinking out loud
• welcoming errors as learning experiences
- Other tips that you can use in studying are the following:
1. Make an outline of the things you want to learn, read
or do, and/or remember.
2. Break down the task in smaller and more manageable
details.
3. Integrate variation in your schedule and learning
experience.
4. Try to incubate your ideas.
5. Revise, summarize, and take down notes, then reread
them.
6. Engage what you have learned.
Lesson 2:
Do Not Just Dream, Make It
Happen
LESSON OBJECTIVES
At the end of this lesson, you should be able
to:
1. Use Bandura’s self-efficacy theory for selfassessment;
2. Differentiate growth and fixed mindset by
Dweck; and
3. Design personal goals adapting Locke’s
goal setting theory.
ACTIVITY
On each designated box, draw your envisioned “Future
Self.” Who would you be:
1. Five years from now
2. 10 years from now
3. 25 years from now
ANALYSIS
Envisioned Self Plan
Answer the following questions.
1. Who are you or what would you become:
a. In five years?
b. In 10 years?
c. In 20 years?
2. What are your motivations for your envisioned self:
a. In five years
b. In 10 years?
c. In 20 years?
3. Outline your plans on how you will make your
envisioned self into reality:
a. In five years
b. In 10 years
c. In 20 years
4. How do you feel after doing this exercise?
5. What is your perception on goal setting?
ABSTRACTION
• Albert E. Bandura’s Self-efficacy
- The Bobo Doll Experiment:
Sample children were presented with new social models of
violent and nonviolent behavior toward an inflatable
redounding Bobo doll.
Result were: The group of children who saw the violent
behavior model became violent to the doll, while the
control group who was presented with the nonviolent
behavior model was rarely violent to the doll.
- This experiment has proven right the hypothesis that social
modeling is a very effective way of learning.
- Bandura’s social cognitive theory states that people are
active participants in their environment and are not simply
shaped by that environment.
• Summary of Self-efficacy Theory:
- Distinguishes between expectations of efficacy and responseoutcome expectancies:
Outcome expectancy is “a person’s estimate that a given
behavior will lead to certain outcomes.”
Efficacy expectation is “the conviction that one can
successfully execute the behavior required to produce the
outcomes.”
- Outcome and efficacy expectations are differentiated because
individuals can believe that a particular course of action will
produce certain outcomes.
- Self-efficacy typically comes into play when there is an actual
or perceived threat to one’s personal safety, or one’s ability to
deal with potentially aversive events.
- Dr. Bandura defined self-efficacy as “people’s beliefs about
their capabilities to produce designated levels of performance
that exercise influence over events that affect their lives.”
- He identified acts of people with “high assurance in their
capabilities,” such as:
1. Approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered;
2. Set challenging goals and maintain strong commitment
to them;
3. Heighten or sustain efforts in the face of failures or
setbacks;
4. Attribute failure to insufficient effort or deficient
knowledge and skills which are acquirable; and
5. Approach threatening situations with assurance that
they can exercise control over them.
- He identified acts of people with “high assurance in
their capabilities,” such as:
1. approach difficult tasks as challenges to be
mastered;
2. set challenging goals and maintain strong
commitment to them;
3. heighten or sustain efforts in the face of failures or
setbacks;
4. attribute failure to insufficient effort or deficient
knowledge and skills which are acquirable; and
5. approach threatening situations with assurance
that they can exercise control over them.
- In contrast, people “who doubt their capabilities”:
1. shy away from tasks they view as personal threats;
2. have low aspirations and weak commitment to goals
they choose to pursue;
3. dwell on personal deficiencies, obstacles they will
encounter, and all kinds of adverse outcomes, rather
than concentrating on how to perform successfully;
4. slacken their efforts and give up quickly in the face of
difficulties;
5. are slow to recover their sense of efficacy following
failure or setbacks; and
6. fall easy victim to stress and depression.
- Dr. Bandura described four main sources of influence by
which a person’s self-efficacy is developed and
maintained. These are:
1. performance accomplishments or mastery
experiences;
2. vicarious experiences;
3. verbal or social persuasion; and
4. physiological (somatic and emotional) states.
• Carol S. Dweck’s Fixed and Growth Mindset Theory
- Dr. Dweck described people with two types of mindset:
People who believe that success is based on their innate
abilities have a “fixed” theory of intelligence, and goes under
fixed mindset.
People who believe that success is based on hardwork,
learning, training, and perseverance have growth theory of
intelligence, which goes under growth mindset.
- Fixed-mindset individuals dread failure because it is a negative
statement on their basic abilities;
- Growth-mindset individuals do not mind or fear failure as
much because they realize their performance can be improved
and learning comes from failure.
- Individuals may not necessarily be aware of their own mindset,
but their mindset can still be discerned based on their behavior.
• Edwin A. Locke’s Goal Setting Theory
- The basic contents of goal setting theory are summarized in
terms of 14 categories of findings:
1. The more difficult the goal, the greater the achievement.
2. The more specific or explicit the goal, the more precisely
performance is regulated.
3. Goals that are both specific and difficult lead to the highest
performance.
4. Commitment to goals is most critical when goals are
specific and difficult.
5. High commitment to goals is attained when:
a. the individual is convinced that the goal is important;
and
b. the individual is convinced that the goal is attainable (or
that, at least, progress can be made toward it).
There are many ways to convince a person that a goal is
important:
• In most laboratory settings, it is quite sufficient to simply ask
for compliance after providing a plausible rationale for the
study.
• In work situations, the supervisor or leader can use
legitimate authority to get initial commitment.
• Continued commitment might require additional incentives
such as supportiveness, recognition, and rewards.
Financial incentives may facilitate commitment and
performance; participation by subordinates in setting goals
leads to higher commitment than curtly telling people what
to do with no explanation; self-set goals can be highly
effective in gaining commitment.
Commitment can be enhanced by effective leadership. Relevant
leadership techniques include:
• providing and communicating an inspiring vision;
• acting as role model for the employees;
• expecting outstanding performance;
• promoting employees who embrace the vision and
dismissing those who reject it;
• delegating responsibility (“ownership”) for key tasks;
• goal setting itself can be delegated for capable,
responsible employees;
• expressing (genuine) confidence in employee
capabilities;
• enhancing capabilities through training; and
• asking for commitment in public.
6. In addition to having a direct effect on performance, selfefficacy influences:
a. the difficulty level of the goal chosen or accepted;
b. commitment to goals;
c. the response to negative feedback or failure; and
d. the choice of task strategies.
7. Goal setting is most effective when there is feedback that
shows progress in relation to the goal.
8. Goal setting (along with self-efficacy) mediates the effect of
knowledge of past performance on subsequent
performance.
9. Goals affect performance by affecting the direction of
action, the degree of effort exerted, and the persistence of
action over time.
10. Goals stimulate planning in general. Often, the planning
quality is higher than that which occurs without goals.
When people possess task or goal-relevant plans as a
result of experience or training, they activate them
automatically when confronted with a performance goal.
Newly learned plans or strategies are most likely to be
utilized under the stimulus of a specific, difficult goal.
11. When people strive for goals on complex tasks, they are
least effective in discovering suitable task strategies if:
a. they have no prior experience or training on the task;
b. there is high pressure to perform well; and
c. there is high time pressure (to perform well
immediately).
12. Goals (including goal commitment), in combination with
self-efficacy, mediate or partially mediate the effects of
several personality traits and incentives on performance.
13. Goal-setting and goal-related mechanisms can be trained
and/or adopted in the absence of training for the
purpose of self-regulation.
14. Goals serve as standards of self-satisfaction, with harder
goals demanding higher accomplishment in order to
attain self-satisfaction than easy goals. Goals can also be
used to enhance task interest, reduce boredom, and
promote goal clarity. When used to punish or intimidate
people, however, goals increase stress and anxiety.
APPLICATION AND ASSESSMENT
1. Jack Canfield Quote Hunt. Using Canfield’s quote on
success at the beginning of this lesson, identify the
elements of Bandura, Dweck, and Locke’s Theories. Give
explanation to your answer.
2. Self-efficacy Collage. Make a collage of your own perceived
self-efficacy using Dr. Albert Bandura’s four sources of
influence for the development and maintenance of selfefficacy.
3. Graphic Organizer. Make an artistic graphic organizer to
differentiate fixed mindset from growth mindset of Dr.
Carol Dweck. Highlight the definition, description,
characteristics, examples of situations where each mindset
are developed, and their advantages and disadvantages.
4.
5.
Goal Setting Plan. Make a goal setting plan (short
term for one semester only) based on what you
learned from Locke’s goal setting theory.
Dream Board. Make your dream board, five years
after college graduation.
LESSON SUMMARY
• Albert E. Bandura’s Self-efficacy
- The Bobo Doll Experiment:
This experiment has proven right the hypothesis that social
modeling is a very effective way of learning
- Bandura’s social cognitive theory states that people are
active participants in their environment and are not simply
shaped by that environment.
Summary of Self-efficacy Theory:
- Outcome expectancy is “a person’s estimate that a given
behavior will lead to certain outcomes.”
- Efficacy expectation is “the conviction that one can
successfully execute the behavior required to produce
the outcomes.”
- Self-efficacy typically comes into play when there is an
actual or perceived threat to one’s personal safety.
People with “high assurance in their capabilities,” such as:
1. approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered;
2. set challenging goals and maintain strong commitment
to them;
3. heighten or sustain efforts in the face of failures or
setbacks;
4. attribute failure to insufficient effort or deficient
knowledge and skills which are acquirable; and
5. approach threatening situations with assurance that
they can exercise control over them.
People “who doubt their capabilities”:
1. shy away from tasks they view as personal threats;
2. have low aspirations and weak commitment to goals
they choose to pursue;
3. dwell on personal deficiencies, obstacles they will
encounter, and all kinds of adverse outcomes;
4. slacken their efforts and give up quickly in the face of
difficulties;
5. are slow to recover their sense of efficacy following
failure or setbacks; and
6. fall easy victim to stress and depression.
Four main sources of influence by which a person’s selfefficacy is developed and maintained:
1. performance accomplishments or mastery experiences;
2. vicarious experiences;
3. verbal or social persuasion; and
4. physiological (somatic and emotional) states.
• Carol S. Dweck’s Fixed and Growth Mindset Theory
Fixed mindset. People who believe that success is based on
their innate abilities have a “fixed” theory of intelligence;
Growth mindset. People who believe that success is based
on hardwork, learning, training, and perseverance have
growth theory of intelligence.
• Edwin A. Locke’s Goal Setting Theory
Goals have both an internal and an external aspect:
Internally, they are ideas (desired ends);
Externally, they refer to the object or condition sought (e.g.,
a job, a sale, a certain performance level)
- The basic contents of goal setting theory are summarized in
terms of 14 categories of findings:
1. The more difficult the goal, the greater the
achievement.
2. The more specific or explicit the goal, the more precisely
performance is regulated.
3. Goals that are both specific and difficult lead to the
highest performance.
4. Commitment to goals is most critical when goals are
specific and difficult.
5. High commitment to goals is attained when:
a. the individual is convinced that the goal is important;
and
b. the individual is convinced that the goal is attainable.
6. Self-efficacy influences:
a. the difficulty level of the goal chosen or accepted;
b. commitment to goals;
c. the response to negative feedback or failure; and
d. the choice of task strategies.
7. Goal setting is most effective when there is feedback
that shows progress in relation to the goal.
8. Goal setting (along with self-efficacy) mediates the
effect of knowledge of past performance on subsequent
performance.
9. Goals affect performance by affecting the direction of
action, the degree of effort exerted, and the persistence
of action over time.
10. Goals stimulate planning in general.
11. Least effective in discovering suitable task strategies if:
a. they have no prior experience or training on the task;
b. there is high pressure to perform well; and
c. there is high time pressure (to perform well
immediately).
12. Goals (including goal commitment), in combination with
self-efficacy, mediate or partially mediate the effects of
several personality traits and incentives on performance.
13. Goal-setting and goal-related mechanisms can be trained
and/or adopted in the absence of training for the purpose
of self-regulation.
14. Goals serve as standards of self-satisfaction; they can also
be used to enhance task interest, reduce boredom, and
promote goal clarity.
Lesson 3:
Less Stress, More Care
LESSON OBJECTIVES
At the end of this lesson, you should be able
to:
1. Explain the effects of stress to one’s health;
2. Examine cultural dimension of stress and
coping; and
3. Design a self-care plan.
ACTIVITY
Self Stress Assessment
To handle life stress is to identify sources of life stress. Arizona
State University adopted “The Social Readjustment Scale” of T.
H. Holmes and R. H. Rahe to come up with the “College
Student’s Stressful Event Checklist.” Use the Event Checklist to
assess your stress level as college student. Follow these
instructions for your guidance:
1. Get a copy of the “College Student’s Stressful Event Checklist”
from the Arizona State University available through Research
Gate. Use the link provided:
(https://www.researchgate.net/file.PostFileLoader.
html?id=57361005f7b67ee8fb041dc2&assetKey=AS%3A36133
6895 754242%401463160837813)
2. Answer the questionnaire honestly. To put the checklist in our
context, change the third item about “Divorce between
parents,” to “Separation between parents.”
3. Write your score and its interpretation inside the box:
4.
5.
Circle all events you identified.
During class session, pair with a classmate and share
two to three life events you circled. Observe
confidentiality after sharing.
ANALYSIS
Have a discussion in the class with the following questions:
1. How do you feel while you were doing the checklist?
2. Is the result near to your present perceived stress
level? How do you feel with the result?
3. How do these identified life events affect your life
now?
4. What is your reflection after sharing your answers
with a classmate?
5. What is your perception about stress and self-care?
ABSTRACTION
• Stress and Human Response
- Selye hypothesized a general adaptation or stress syndrome.
This general stress syndrome affects the whole body. Stress
always manifests itself by a syndrome, a sum of changes, and
not by simply one change.
- The general stress syndrome has three components:
1. The alarm stage
2. The stage of resistance
3. The exhaustion stage
- Stress diseases are maladies caused principally by errors in
the body’s general adaptation process.
- If stress is induced chronically, our defense response lowers
its resistance since fewer antibodies are produced and an
inflammatory response dwindles.
- The stress response begins in the brain.
- When someone experiences a stressful event, the amygdala,
an area of the brain that contributes to emotional processing,
sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus.
- The hypothalamus is a bit like a command center. This area of
the brain communicates with the rest of the body through
the autonomic nervous system.
- The autonomic nervous system has two components:
The sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight-or-flight
response, providing the body with a burst of energy so that it
can respond to perceived dangers.
The parasympathetic nervous system promotes the “rest
and digest” response that calms the body down after the
danger has passed.
• Techniques to Counter Chronic Stress
1. Relaxation response. These include deep abdominal
breathing, focus on a soothing word (such as peace or
calm), visualization of tranquil scenes, repetitive prayer,
yoga, and tai chi.
2. Physical activity. People can use exercise to stifle the
buildup of stress in several ways. Exercise, such as
taking a brisk walk shortly after feeling stressed, not
only deepens breathing but also helps relieve muscle
tension.
3. Social support. Confidants, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, relatives, spouses, and companions all provide
a life-enhancing social net, and may increase longevity.
• The Cultural Dimension of Stress and Coping
- a person’s internalized cultural values, beliefs, and norms affect
the appraisal process of stressors and the perceived
appropriateness of coping responses;
- stress and coping are universal experiences faced by
individuals regardless of culture, ethnicity, and race;
- members of different cultures might consider and respond to
stressors differently with respect to coping goals, strategies,
and outcomes.
- avoidance, withdrawal, and forbearance coping methods are
common among Asians;
- spiritual, religious, and ritual based coping are common among
African-Americans and African-Canadians;
- spiritual and religious coping and coping through family support
are common among individuals of Latino/Latina backgrounds
• Self-care Therapy
1. Stop, breathe, and tell yourself: “This is hard and I will get
through this one step at a time.”
2. Acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling. All feelings are
normal so accept whatever you are feeling.
3. Find someone who listens and is accepting. You do not need
advice. You need to be heard.
4. Maintain your normal routine as much as possible
5. Allow plenty of time for a task.
6. Take good care of yourself. Remember to:
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
Get enough rest and sleep.
Eat regularly and make healthy choices.
Know your limits and when you need to let go.
Identify or create a nurturing place in your home.
Practice relaxation or meditation.
Escape for a while through meditation, reading a book, watching a
movie, or taking a short trip.
• Self-compassion Therapy
- Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when
we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than flagellating
ourselves with self-criticism;
- Being imperfect and experiencing life difficulties is
inevitable, so we soothe and nurture ourselves when
confronting our pain rather than getting angry when life
falls short of our ideals;
- Recognizes that life challenges and personal failures are
part of being human, an experience we all share. In this
way, it helps us to feel less desolate and isolated when
we are in pain.
• Self-compassion Phrases
-
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself.
May I give myself the compassion I need.
The first phrase helps to mindfully open to the sting of emotional
pain. The second phrase reminds us that suffering unites all living
beings and reduces the tendency to feel ashamed and isolated
when things go wrong in our lives. The third phrase begins the
process of responding with self-kindness rather than self-criticism.
The final phrase reinforces the idea that you both need and
deserve compassion in difficult moments.
Other phrases that may feel more authentic in a given situation
are: “May I accept myself as I am,” “May I forgive myself,” or “May
I learn to accept what I cannot change.”
• Self-compassion and Emotional Well-being
- A key feature of self-compassion is the lack of self-criticism,
and self-criticism is known to be an important predictor of
anxiety and depression.
- Self-compassion is not merely a matter of looking on the
bright side of things or avoiding negative feelings. Selfcompassionate people recognize when they are suffering, but
are kind toward themselves.
- Self-compassion is associated with greater wisdom and
emotional intelligence, suggesting that self-compassion
represents a wise way of dealing with difficult emotions.
- By wrapping one’s pain in the warm embrace of selfcompassion, positive feelings are generated that help balance
the negative ones.
• Self-compassion, Motivation, and Health
- Research supports the idea that self-compassion enhances
motivation rather than self-indulgence.
- Self-compassionate people aim just as high, but also recognize
and accept that they cannot always reach their goal.
- Self-compassionate people have been found to have less
motivational anxiety and engage in fewer self-handicapping
behaviors such as procrastination than those who lack selfcompassion.
- Self-compassion was positively associated with mastery goals (the
intrinsic motivation to learn and grow) and negatively associated
with performance goals (the desire to enhance one’s self-image)
- Self-compassionate people are motivated to achieve, but for
intrinsic reasons, not because they want to garner social
approval.
• Self-compassion versus Self-esteem
Self-compassion:
- Predicts greater happiness and optimism as well as less
depression and anxiety when controlling for self-esteem
- Are less focused on evaluating themselves, feeling superior
to others, worrying about whether or not others are
evaluating them, defending their viewpoints, or angrily
reacting against those who disagree with them
Self-esteem :
- Robust association with narcissism
- Evaluation of superiority/inferiority that helps to establish
social rank stability and is related to alerting, energizing
impulses and dopamine activation
• Self-compassionate Letter
1. Candidly describe a problem that tends to make you feel bad
about yourself.
2. Next, think of an imaginary friend who is unconditionally
accepting and compassionate.
3. Finally, write a letter to yourself from that perspective. What
would your friend say about your perceived problem? What
words would he or she use to convey deep compassion? How
would your friend remind you that you are only human? If your
friend were to make any suggestions, how would they reflect
unconditional understanding?
4. When you are done writing, put the letter down for a while and
come back to it later. Then read the letter again, letting the
words sink in, allowing yourself to be soothed and comforted.
• Less Stress, Care More
We should be in control of the stress that confronts
us every day. Otherwise, when we are overwhelmed
by stress, it can be detrimental to our health. Selfcare and self-compassion are two ways to positively
confront stress. We should love and care for our self
more and more each day.
APPLICATION AND ASSESSMENT
1. Reaction Paper. Make a reaction paper about the article
“Stress and Filipino” by Michael L. Tan from the Philippine
Center for Investigative Journalism. (2006). The article is
available through this link: http://pcij.org/ stories/stressand-the-filipino/. Use the lesson on the social and cultural
dimension of stress in making your reaction paper.
2. Self-Care Plan. Design for your self-care plan for the whole
school year.
3. Reflection Paper. Make a self-compassionate letter and
make a reflection paper about it.
LESSON SUMMARY
• Stress and Human Response
- Stress always manifests itself by a syndrome, a sum of
changes, and not by simply one change.
- The general stress syndrome has three components:
1. The alarm stage
2. The stage of resistance
3. The exhaustion stage
- Stress diseases are maladies caused principally by errors
in the body’s general adaptation process.
- The stress response begins in the brain:
Amygdala, contributes to emotional processing, sends a
distress signal to the hypothalamus
Hypothalamus, communicates with the rest of the body
through the autonomic nervous system
- The autonomic nervous system has two components:
The sympathetic nervous system triggers the fight-or-flight
response; and
The parasympathetic nervous system promotes the “rest and
digest” response.
• Techniques to Counter Chronic Stress
1. Relaxation response. Deep abdominal breathing, focus on a
soothing word, visualization of tranquil scenes, repetitive
prayer, yoga, and tai chi
2. Physical activity. Use exercise to stifle the buildup of stress in
several ways
3. Social support. Companions all provide a life-enhancing
social net, and may increase longevity
• The Cultural Dimension of Stress and
Coping
- Stress and coping are universal experiences faced by
individuals regardless of culture, ethnicity, and race;
- Members of different cultures might consider and respond
to stressors differently with respect to coping goals,
strategies, and outcomes.
• Self-care Therapy
1. Stop, breathe, and tell yourself: “This is hard and I will get
through this one step at a time.”
2. Acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling.
3. Find someone who listens and is accepting. You do not
need advice. You need to be heard.
4. Maintain your normal routine as much as possible.
5. Allow plenty of time for a task.
6. Take good care of yourself.
• Self-compassion Therapy
- Being warm and understanding toward ourselves, rather
than flagellating ourselves with self-criticism;
- We soothe and nurture ourselves when confronting our
pain rather than getting angry when life falls short of our
ideals;
- Recognizes that life challenges and personal failures are
part of being human, an experience we all share.
• Self-compassion Phrases
-
This is a moment of suffering.
Suffering is a part of life.
May I be kind to myself.
May I give myself the compassion I need.
Other phrases that may feel more authentic in a given
situation are:
“May I accept myself as I am,”
“May I forgive myself,” or
“May I learn to accept what I cannot change.”
• Self-compassion and Emotional Well-being
- The lack of self-criticism
- Not merely a matter of looking on the bright side of things
or avoiding negative feelings
- Associated with greater wisdom and emotional
intelligence
- Positive feelings are generated that help balance the
negative ones.
• Self-compassion, Motivation, and Health
- Self-compassion enhances motivation rather than selfindulgence.
- Self-compassion is associated with:
• Mastery goals (the intrinsic motivation to learn and grow)
• Performance goals (the desire to enhance one’s selfimage)
- Self-compassion people:
• Recognize and accept that they cannot always reach their
goal;
• Have less motivational anxiety and engage in fewer selfhandicapping behaviors; and
• Are motivated to achieve, but for intrinsic reasons.
• Self-compassion versus Self-esteem
Self-compassion:
- Predicts greater happiness and optimism as well as less
depression and anxiety when controlling for self-esteem
Self-esteem:
- Robust association with narcissism
• Self-compassionate Letter
1. Candidly describe a problem that tends to make you feel
bad about yourself;
2. Next, think of an imaginary friend who is unconditionally
accepting and compassionate;
3. Finally, write a letter to yourself from that perspective.
4. Then read the letter again, letting the words sink in,
allowing yourself to be soothed and comforted.
• Less Stress, Care More
- We should be in control of the stress that
confronts us every day.
- Self-care and self-compassion are two
ways to positively confront stress.