Exercise – Add relevant information to make it clear. Rewrite each of these sentences adding
precise language and eliminate wordiness (as needed). The first two are done for you.
•
The technician fixed the module and took most of the evening fixing it. Consider: What
is fixed? How long is most of the evening?
The technician replaced the broken module in 2.5 hours.
•
It will cost a lot to fix your roof top cooling unit. Consider: What is a lot of $?
It will cost $3500 to repair the AADN unit.
•
Please contact Mr. Carton and he will give you an estimate. Consider: How do I contact
him?
Email Mr. Carton for your estimate.
•
The crew went into the next town where they located a replacement part. Consider:
what town, what part?
The crew went to Brandon for the replacement case.
•
The leak is becoming a hazard for those people in the shop. Consider: What type of
hazard? Who is impacted?
The leaking roof is a shock hazard to the employees.
•
They will sign the contact in the near future. Consider: Who is they? What type of
contract? When?
The clients will sign the job contract next week.
•
The project is slightly behind schedule, but we’ll be sure to make up most of the time by
the end of this month. Consider: How far behind? When is it caught up?
The project is a week behind, it'll be caught up this month.
•
Heat that metal until it’s hot before you can work it. Consider: Metal type? What
temperature?
Heat the steel to 100 degrees C before you work it.
•
We will meet with them this afternoon. Consider: Who is we? Them? When?
My wife and I will meet my parents at 3PM.
•
We put the large, heavy box into the garbage last week. Consider: Who is we? What is
large? Heavy?
My wife and I put the full fridge box in the garage.