Dual Credit English 12B/102 Legislative Argument Peer Edit Worksheet Directions: Use this form to evaluate your classmates’ rough drafts. Remember to provide detailed feedback with suggestions for improvement. You should write 3-5 sentences for each question. Ideas, Focus, and Content 1. Identify the thesis of the essay. Evaluate the effectiveness of the thesis (does the essay convey a meaningful statement and address an arguable point on the argument topic?). List specific strengths and suggestions for improvement. If you are unable to locate the thesis, summarize what you consider to be the central idea. Give some suggestions for what a clear thesis might look like. I could not find a thesis in his first paragraph, therefore not intriguing me to keep on reading. I would say you could add the thesis to the end of the first paragraph and maybe transition it a bit better. Other than that good job dude! 2. Does the author appeal to the rhetorical audience? Provide specific examples where the author is effective. Give advice on how the author might improve. Yes, about 80 percent of the time he is informing Mr. Harris. It Is effective because he provides a lot of facts and data to back up his arguments, A way to make this better is to talk about something else other than the economic state of things. Talk about lower income families and their quality of living. 3. Discuss the author’s use of specific examples. Are the quotations and examples cited correctly? How might the author improve his or her use of examples within the essay discussion? Use examples and be specific in your advice. The quotations were good, But I will say that there were some drop in quotes here and there, so just make sure to give more insight before or after a quote. Structure 4. Has the author sequenced his/her essay effectively? Does the piece “flow”? Provide specific examples where the organization could be enhanced. Yes, it flowed, but It could flow better if he used better transitioning phrases, once you do that this piece could be very solid. A good example of this would be at the end of the first paragraph, it randomly cuts off and it has no thesis. This would be a place to improve on Style and Language 5. Is the author’s voice authentic but rhetorically appropriate? Give examples and specific suggestions to support your opinion. The voice sounds very professional but a little monotone. I would like to hear more pathos in this reading. I wasn’t very connected during the piece to the author 6. Is the essay organized effectively? Can you easily follow the author’s points? List at least one specific place where the author can improve. Explain what needs to be improved. Yes other than the first paragraph everything else blends in and is in the correct spot. Better transitions would be helpful though Requirements 7. Does the essay meet the following requirements? If not, be sure to mention what needs adjusted and give suggestions: a. Is the essay at least 5 complete pages? If not, where do you think more information is needed? No it is not. Perhaps adding a page that involves just PATHOS would boost this piece tremendously b. Does the essay have a Works Cited page with at least 2 sources? If not, is there a source you think is interesting that might relate to the student’s paper and ideas? Yes it does, good job! c. Does the essay use MLA format for the heading, header, Works Cited page, and in-text citations? Yes it all looks good Mechanics 8. Does the essay read smoothly with minimal spelling/grammar/mechanical issues? Does it use proper format? Give suggestions for corrections or improvements. I did not find any grammatical errors, the only problem I found was not as many transition phrases and a few drop in quotes. Fix those up and youll be golden Overall Comments 9. Identify one “golden line” from the essay—a phrase, sentence, or paragraph that resonates with you. What about this line is so striking? The best line was “Passing the bill to raise minimum wage is an opportunity to improve Idaho as a whole” I liked this because it was a good way to end the letter, it was the dagger to the piece. 10. Does the essay meet the assignment requirements? What does the author do well? What could the author do better? It needs more pages but other than that it works! A+ Peer review questions adapted from Abrams, Shane. "EmpoWord: A Student-Centered Anthology & Handbook for College Writers." PDXOpen: Open Access Textbooks, 2018, pdxscholar.library.pdx.edu/pdxopen/20/. Accessed on 30 Nov. 2018.
