Uploaded by Dario CortezPerez

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Dual Credit English 12B/102
Legislative Argument Peer Edit Worksheet
Directions: Use this form to evaluate your classmates’ rough drafts. Remember
to provide detailed feedback with suggestions for improvement. You should write
3-5 sentences for each question.
Ideas, Focus, and Content
1. Identify the thesis of the essay. Evaluate the effectiveness of the thesis (does the
essay convey a meaningful statement and address an arguable point on the
argument topic?). List specific strengths and suggestions for improvement. If you
are unable to locate the thesis, summarize what you consider to be the central
idea. Give some suggestions for what a clear thesis might look like.
I could not find a thesis in his first paragraph, therefore not intriguing me to keep on
reading. I would say you could add the thesis to the end of the first paragraph and
maybe transition it a bit better. Other than that good job dude!
2. Does the author appeal to the rhetorical audience? Provide specific examples
where the author is effective. Give advice on how the author might improve.
Yes, about 80 percent of the time he is informing Mr. Harris. It Is effective because he
provides a lot of facts and data to back up his arguments, A way to make this better is to
talk about something else other than the economic state of things. Talk about lower
income families and their quality of living. 
3. Discuss the author’s use of specific examples. Are the quotations and examples
cited correctly? How might the author improve his or her use of examples within
the essay discussion? Use examples and be specific in your advice.
The quotations were good, But I will say that there were some drop in quotes here and
there, so just make sure to give more insight before or after a quote.
Structure
4. Has the author sequenced his/her essay effectively? Does the piece “flow”?
Provide specific examples where the organization could be enhanced.
Yes, it flowed, but It could flow better if he used better transitioning phrases, once you
do that this piece could be very solid. A good example of this would be at the end of the
first paragraph, it randomly cuts off and it has no thesis. This would be a place to
improve on
Style and Language
5. Is the author’s voice authentic but rhetorically appropriate? Give examples and
specific suggestions to support your opinion.
The voice sounds very professional but a little monotone. I would like to hear more
pathos in this reading. I wasn’t very connected during the piece to the author
6. Is the essay organized effectively? Can you easily follow the author’s points? List
at least one specific place where the author can improve. Explain what needs to
be improved.
Yes other than the first paragraph everything else blends in and is in the correct spot.
Better transitions would be helpful though
Requirements
7. Does the essay meet the following requirements? If not, be sure to mention what
needs adjusted and give suggestions:
a. Is the essay at least 5 complete pages? If not, where do you think more
information is needed?
No it is not. Perhaps adding a page that involves just PATHOS would boost this piece
tremendously
b. Does the essay have a Works Cited page with at least 2 sources? If not, is
there a source you think is interesting that might relate to the student’s
paper and ideas?
Yes it does, good job!
c. Does the essay use MLA format for the heading, header, Works Cited
page, and in-text citations?
Yes it all looks good
Mechanics
8. Does the essay read smoothly with minimal spelling/grammar/mechanical
issues? Does it use proper format? Give suggestions for corrections or
improvements.
I did not find any grammatical errors, the only problem I found was not as many
transition phrases and a few drop in quotes. Fix those up and youll be golden
Overall Comments
9. Identify one “golden line” from the essay—a phrase, sentence, or paragraph that
resonates with you. What about this line is so striking?
The best line was “Passing the bill to raise minimum wage is an opportunity to improve Idaho as
a whole” I liked this because it was a good way to end the letter, it was the dagger to the piece.
10. Does the essay meet the assignment requirements? What does the author do
well? What could the author do better?
It needs more pages but other than that it works! A+
Peer review questions adapted from Abrams, Shane. "EmpoWord: A Student-Centered Anthology & Handbook for College
Writers." PDXOpen: Open Access Textbooks, 2018, pdxscholar.library.pdx.edu/pdxopen/20/. Accessed on 30 Nov. 2018.
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