Dual Credit English 12B/102 Legislative Argument Peer Edit Worksheet Directions: Use this form to evaluate your classmates’ rough drafts. Remember to provide detailed feedback with suggestions for improvement. You should write 3-5 sentences for each question. Ideas, Focus, and Content 1. Identify the thesis of the essay. Evaluate the effectiveness of the thesis (does the essay convey a meaningful statement and address an arguable point on the argument topic?). List specific strengths and suggestions for improvement. If you are unable to locate the thesis, summarize what you consider to be the central idea. Give some suggestions for what a clear thesis might look like. Thesis ( Idaho should let the state government be in charge of regulating auxiliary containers because there needs to be addressed on a higher level, and leaving it up to local governments will have little to no impact. I can clearly identify your thesis and your stance on the issue. I think it was very effective and to the point. I have no suggestions for your thesis. 2. Does the author appeal to the rhetorical audience? Provide specific examples where the author is effective. Give advice on how the author might improve. Your audience is both your representative and the teacher. I like how you give the definition of auxiliary containers that was very helpful as I didn’t know what that meant. 3. Discuss the author’s use of specific examples. Are the quotations and examples cited correctly? How might the author improve his or her use of examples within the essay discussion? Use examples and be specific in your advice. It was cool that you referenced the sugary drinks source. Although you have an additional period that needs to be deleted in your in text citation and the you capitalize the M in more you do introduce the quote and it is not dropped. The errors with your citations are in paragraph two, three I don’t think the period is supposed to be there I goes after the parenthesis. Your citations and sources how ever do flow well and support your opinion. Structure 4. Has the author sequenced his/her essay effectively? Does the piece “flow”? Provide specific examples where the organization could be enhanced. Overall the way it is sequenced is good your piece is easy to follow. Although you could maybe add some transitions. Style and Language 5. Is the author’s voice authentic but rhetorically appropriate? Give examples and specific suggestions to support your opinion. I like how you relate to the real world but also give a sense of seriousness. You referenced COVID-19 which has a big impact on your topic. I think your language used is very appropriate for a legislative representative and teacher. You wrote academically but also related to the real world so the average person like me could understand the seriousness. 6. Is the essay organized effectively? Can you easily follow the author’s points? List at least one specific place where the author can improve. Explain what needs to be improved. I could follow the essay well and understand your points good job. Requirements 7. Does the essay meet the following requirements? If not, be sure to mention what needs adjusted and give suggestions: a. Is the essay at least 5 complete pages? If not, where do you think more information is needed? Not yet she could add more facts always and stats to make it interesting and always add pathos because people base a lot of their decision on how they feel. But it is also good you have facts and credited people. You could come up with another reason why the bill she be voted down or you could add info to each reason you already have. b. Does the essay have a Works Cited page with at least 2 sources? If not, is there a source you think is interesting that might relate to the student’s paper and ideas? Yes she has a works cited and it has many good sources. c. Does the essay use MLA format for the heading, header, Works Cited page, and in-text citations? d. Yes but some in text citations need some fixes. Mechanics 8. Does the essay read smoothly with minimal spelling/grammar/mechanical issues? Does it use proper format? Give suggestions for corrections or improvements. Yes you sound educated on the topic but you also explain what you mean and make a point and it is understood/. Overall Comments 9. Identify one “golden line” from the essay—a phrase, sentence, or paragraph that resonates with you. What about this line is so striking? I really like your thesis it is to the point and I understand how you feel. 10. Does the essay meet the assignment requirements? What does the author do well? What could the author do better? Yes except the length. I think the essay was great you explained your points and words that not everyone would know. Just re read your letter make sure your point is made how you want it to be and how it comes across. I didn’t find any major errors. Besides your in text citations just always re check your grammar. Peer review questions adapted from Abrams, Shane. "EmpoWord: A Student-Centered Anthology & Handbook for College Writers." PDXOpen: Open Access Textbooks, 2018, pdxscholar.library.pdx.edu/pdxopen/20/. Accessed on 30 Nov. 2018.
