dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 1 of 19 dontgetmarried.com « A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please » http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Welcome Guest. Please Login or Register. Sept 8, 2006, 7:09pm dontgetmarried.com :: General :: Main Don't Get Married Board :: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please Author riskbreaker New Member Topic: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please (Read 850 times) A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Thread Started on Jun 7, 2006, 12:09pm » member is offline Greetings. Just wanted to know if someon here had a copy of the 'Typical Shame Tactics' women use when they can't attack your arguement. Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 11 Karma: 1 some examplesYou're gay can't get laid can't handle a real woman small penis child molester serial killer etc. I remember the collection, just wanted to see if anyone had the original. It was some good stuff. Link to Post - Back to Top chrisw79 Full Member Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #1 on Jun 7, 2006, 12:37pm » member is offline I'm sure someone's got the list, or at least part of it. Meanwhile, we can recreate it here, along with new ones we encounter. (For reference, I get #1 the most often.) Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 75 Karma: 1 Here are the others I can think of: You'll die alone. You're going to be lonely your whole life. No woman will put up with you. Your dad abused you. I want to have fun. No woman will settle for you. Oww. Oww. Trying to think like a woman hurts. Link to Post - Back to Top chewbacca Magna Cum Laude Member Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #2 on Jun 7, 2006, 7:23pm » 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 2 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... member is offline You forgot: "You can't handle an independant woman." Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 154 Karma: 1 Link to Post - Back to Top Logged I reject your reality and substitute my own. riskbreaker New Member Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #3 on Jun 7, 2006, 8:41pm » member is offline Oww. Oww. Trying to think like a woman hurts. <hands chris a virtual beer and a Dagwood sandwich> Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 11 Karma: 1 My apologies. You did good soldier. Go take some time for R&R. Curse you foul harpies!!! You'll not take this one. He gave his MIND for his fellow man. <salutes your brave effort> Marriage strike Semper fi, soldier. Link to Post - Back to Top bartsimpson Junior Member Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #4 on Jun 7, 2006, 8:43pm » member is offline Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 60 Karma: 2 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 3 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... "I love you, I'm just not 'in love' with you anymore . . ." "I've always had a problem with your (formerly accepted behavior)" Remember the purpose of shaming tactics - you have the problem, not her. It is a clear red flag that she thinks she has a potential BBD. 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 4 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Link to Post - Back to Top sayonara Moderator Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #5 on Jun 29, 2006, 7:31pm » member is offline 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 5 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... From the old dontmarry board: Shaming Language: How to beat it. (PDF) Women have always been batshit insane.™ - antiriad Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 140 Location: Femerica Karma: 3 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 6 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Link to Post - Back to Top Logged 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 7 of 19 disconnect Junior Member http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #6 on Jun 29, 2006, 11:01pm » member is offline Good link, but adding to it is a good idea nonetheless. The independent woman line has been done to death, though . Suddenly everybody is one. Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 52 Karma: 1 "Remember the purpose of shaming tactics - you have the problem, not her." Why? She may be trying to tell you what everyone but you sees in you. If someone (anyone) is brave enough to stand up and be frank about your problem, they're doing you a favor. Purpose of shaming language is to make a man feel inadequate (makes you feel like she's your mother, and thus has control over you. Bleurgh...) Tenjune: whose site is that? toadman Summa Cum Laude Member member is offline Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 204 Location: SoCal Karma: 3 khankrumthebulgar Über Member Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #7 on Jun 29, 2006, 11:51pm » Worthy of a perma-sticky for referral, Lee. Arlington National Cemetery is the ultimate Men's Club. Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #8 on Jun 30, 2006, 7:42am » member is offline Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 566 Location: Dallas Metroplex USA Karma: 7 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 8 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... "A Real Man would..." "If you were a Man you would..." "Men generally do this for a Lady..." "I thought you were a Man..." Counters "Yes I am a Real Man and I don't put up with Bravo Sierra. Try again." "Women do not define Manhood. Men do." "If you were a Lady I would..." "I could care less what you think. Women are a mass of contradictions. They say one thing and do another. Get your thinking straight. Then wel'l talk." 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 9 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Link to Post - Back to Top bartsimpson Junior Member Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #9 on Jun 30, 2006, 10:52am » member is offline Jun 29, 2006, 11:01pm, disconnect wrote: Quote: Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 60 Remember the purpose of shaming tactics - you have the problem, not her 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 10 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Karma: 2 Why? She may be trying to tell you what everyone but you sees in you. If someone (anyone) is brave enough to stand up and be frank about your problem, they're doing you a favor. Are you for real? Do you think men are so stupid that they don't know they have a problem and need to rely on some brave woman to tell them. In the interest of civility - please explain this further before I swing the cluebat, because this sounds like you are a mangina apologist for women's bad behavior. Link to Post - Back to Top dataguy Junior Member Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #10 on Jun 30, 2006, 3:40pm » member is offline Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 59 Karma: 2 I'm sorry guys, but as much as I enjoy reading stories about cluebatting dimwitted women (which is rapidly becoming my favorite spectator sport), I just can't bring myself to support the idea that there's some kind of strategy against shaming tactics that would actually be worth the trouble. Women are innately convinced that they are morally superior to men. It's their basic point of reference for all their relations to us. It's the defining characteristic of AW and the princple reason that they're not good relationship material. No matter how well you've done for yourself, and no matter how much of a train wreck she may have made of her life, pretty much any AW you meet these days is probably going to consider herself to be morally superior to you. That's where the shaming tactics really come from. And what the hell kind of basis is that for a relationship? And what really sucks is that there are still so many completely spineless guys out there who are willing to just accept that state of affairs. As far as I'm concerned, those guys are the real chumps. « Last Edit: Jun 30, 2006, 3:41pm by dataguy » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged "If a man's alone in the woods, and he says something, and there's no woman around to criticize him, is he still wrong?" Earl Pickles, 1997 toadman Summa Cum Laude Member member is offline Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #11 on Jun 30, 2006, 7:43pm » Post Of The Day by Dataguy. Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 204 Location: SoCal Karma: 3 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 11 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... « Last Edit: Jun 30, 2006, 7:44pm by toadman » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Arlington National Cemetery is the ultimate Men's Club. disconnect Junior Member Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #12 on Jul 1, 2006, 1:01am » member is offline " Quote: Remember the purpose of shaming tactics - you have the problem, not her Joined: Feb 2006 Posts: 52 Karma: 1 Why? She may be trying to tell you what everyone but you sees in you. If someone (anyone) is brave enough to stand up and be frank about your problem, they're doing you a favor. Are you for real? Do you think men are so stupid that they don't know they have a problem and need to rely on some brave woman to tell them. In the interest of civility - please explain this further before I swing the cluebat, because this sounds like you are a mangina apologist for women's bad behavior." I have nothing to prove to you. Sometimes I feel like I'm one of the most bitter sons of bitches on the board. But I just re-read my post, and realized I replied way the fuck out of context (3 in the morning, tired as hell) so i'll try to explain. Let's say you are an arrogant asshole. Everyone and their mother knows it, but not you. People react accordingly, but you just brush it off on them being losers since you're perfection itself. Then someone comes along, and instead of avoiding you, actually takes time and patience to explain to you that no one likes you because you're a stuck up arrogant prick, and not because they're not 'cool enough'. And if that person is a woman, so what? Listen to people and learn from them. You'll get way further than if you simply believe you're always right. Now, Bart, you may be old and wise and have this part of life figured out, but not me. I'm still young, and while what I described above was not what happened to me, it had resemblance. Someone actually had the will to point out my own huge character flaw to me. She had nothing to gain from it. It would have been easier to not say anything and avoid conflict. But by doing it she did me a favor. Self improvement is not masturbation. In closing, what I said had nothing to do with the 'shaming tactics' in the op. It's just that when someone seriously tells you that you're an asshole or a vain bastard, listen, because they may be right. EDIT: of course this also depends on the circumstances, and how they say it and whatnot. I think you know what I mean. --------------To me, the ultimate defense to any shaming tactics is not a script, but a manly mindset. Agree with dataguy as well. « Last Edit: Jul 1, 2006, 1:07am by disconnect » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 12 of 19 specialopsdude Beginner Member http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #13 on Jul 3, 2006, 11:49am » member is offline Shaming language is designed to get you into an argument with an inferior mind. Women (and many effeminate men) use it because they have already lost the argument and want to just press your buttons by attacking your manhood. Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 35 Location: MacDill AFB / Deployed OIF Karma: 0 Once you realize it is a simple trap, you can avoid it by simply ignoring it. Shaming attacks from grown women are like insults from immature children. Sad that adult women are often the same caliber in a debate. « Last Edit: Jul 3, 2006, 11:53am by specialopsdude » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged She is not the one - she is just another one. follol New Member Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please member is offline « Reply #14 on Jul 7, 2006, 1:25pm » The Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics: http://faithandsociety.typepad.com/faith_and_society/2006/05/the_catalog_of_.html Joined: May 2006 Posts: 1 Karma: 0 Edit: added red t's in http. Sorry about that! « Last Edit: Jul 10, 2006, 11:33am by follol » toadman Summa Cum Laude Member member is offline Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 204 Location: SoCal Karma: 3 dataguy Junior Member Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #15 on Jul 7, 2006, 1:30pm » Excellent link follol! Welcome to the forum! Arlington National Cemetery is the ultimate Men's Club. General Theory On AW (was:Repost...) « Reply #16 on Aug 27, 2006, 12:26pm » member is offline Jun 30, 2006, 7:43pm, toadman wrote: Post Of The Day by Dataguy. Joined: Mar 2006 Posts: 59 Karma: 2 Well, since the toad was good enough to respond with such kudos, I've been meaning for some time to post the full rant from which that post originated. So here, for your consideration, is my GENERAL THEORY ON AMERICAN WOMEN The key to understanding modern American women is to realize that, starting from a very early age, basically from about the time they start learning to talk, every event and experience in their lives takes on a very powerful emotional subtext. This is not to imply, of course, that men’s lives do not have emotional subtexts. It is merely to state that, for women, the emotional subtext of everyday events and experiences is often much more powerful than it is for men. For a woman, nearly everything that happens in her life, including things that most men would consider to be trivial or 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 13 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... mundane, is heavily freighted with significant emotional meaning. There are many important consequences to this, but for men, there are certain key implications that are very important to understand. One of these is that women are always "right". By the time they reach early adulthood, at about the age of 25 or so, women develop a very strong sense of moral rectitude. They are certain they know what is good and bad, and what is true and false, because the feelings they have in their hearts and guts tell them so, and their feelings are always genuine, always valid, and always accurate, even if those feelings change 180 degrees from one moment to the next. When a woman "changes her mind", she’s not really changing her mind. What really happened is that her feelings changed. And no matter how many times her feelings change, whatever she’s feeling right now, at this moment, is always "right", because her feelings are always valid. Now, part of this is our fault as men, because, when we're young, we're so overpowered by how beautiful so many of them are, and even when they're not particularly beautiful, we're still so eager for their approval and for their affection and for sex, that we're generally willing to agree with just about anything they say and go along with just about anything they want, no matter how silly or trivial or just plain idiotic it might be. So of course it should come as no surprise that most women begin to develop a very strong sense of moral rectitude. But, of course, it's not really our behavior towards them that's the main culprit here...women are this way intrinsically. Another key consequence is that, by the time they’ve reached early adulthood, most women have developed a very elaborate system of rules for how people are supposed to behave. And a woman considers these rules to be "obvious", because they are based on her own personal emotional subtext, which she considers to be the ultimate validator of all that is right and wrong: "of course" you’re supposed to do "this", "of course" you’re not supposed to do "that". And because these rules of conduct are so self-evident, anyone, as far as she’s concerned, (and especially anyone who claims to know her or care about her at all), should just intrinsically understand what these rules are...no explanation should be necessary. Anyone who doesn’t just implicitly understand these rules is either a fool or a jerk. A woman will always listen to her feelings, before and after she will listen to anything else (and also usually while she is listening to anything else). This means that, in order to get along well with a woman, a man must also constantly be listening to her feelings, and anticipating his behavior accordingly. In effect, women become emotional tyrants in relationships: everything in her life, and, by extension, in the life of anyone involved with her, ultimately ends up being ruled by whatever she happens to be feeling, whatever she thinks is right, and whatever she happens to want, from one moment to the next. My favorite story about this relates to a radio program with a segment in which the host likes to go out into the audience to meet people, and find out simple things about them, like where they are from and how long they’ve been married, just to try to get to know them a little bit. On meeting a couple who’d been married for 50 years, the host stated that, whenever he met such a couple, he always liked to ask them what they considered to be the secret of a good marriage. When asking one particular couple this question, the woman (of course) was the first to speak up, insisting that it was a matter of "having similar interests and tastes, always discussing everything, everything always being shared and everything always being equal, etc. etc. Finally, after a couple of minutes, the woman piped down just long enough for the host to turn to the husband and say, "And what about you, Herb, what do you consider to be the secret of a good marriage?", to which the husband instantly replied, "Oh, that's simple, just do whatever she wants." It’s also important to remember that, no matter how far you may have risen from wherever you started out in life, no matter hard you may have had to work your ass 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 14 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... off to get where you are, no matter how much discouragement you faced, no matter how many obstacles you had to overcome along the way, and no matter how successful you may be, no matter how much you may have accomplished, and no matter how self-sufficient you are, chances are that just about any American woman you meet these days will still consider herself to be a more thoughtful, more considerate, more conscientious, just plain better person than you are. And this will probably still be true, even if major portions of her life have just been a total train wreck. And she will demonstrate this to you on a daily basis, by providing you with a constant stream of unsolicited questions and commentary about everything you do and how you do it, all based on her very powerful sense of moral rectitude. What all of this adds up to is that, if you’re an average looking guy, and you’re willing to: 1. Live your life based pretty much entirely on whatever some woman happens to be feeling, right now at this moment, and, 2. You’re not too particular about what those women look like, and, 3. You’re the kind of person who would rather live that way than be single, Then you'll probably have no trouble at all finding a wife (and in fact you’ll probably end up being happier than you would be if you were single). But if you’re not willing to make all three of those compromises, you’ll probably have a pretty hard time finding a date, let alone a steady companion. And if you’re like me, and you’d actually rather be single than make any of those compromises, but, unlike me, you go ahead and make those compromises anyway, you’ll probably end up being miserable. And you’ll deserve it. And there are millions of men who live their lives just like that every day. Of course, if you’re really handsome, and especially if you’re handsome and have plenty of disposable income, then all of that just goes right out the window. You can behave pretty much any way you want, and women will basically just keep coming after you no matter what. And if you don’t believe that, just look at how many women write letters to Scott Peterson in jail begging to fuck him. And of course, you can never really have an honest discussion about these things with a woman, because if you attempt to raise this particular topic with her, her preferred mode of discussion will be to wait for you to assert something, and then proceed to tell you, at exceedingly great length, all about why you are wrong. This is why women insist that men will never understand them. They prefer having us believe that we can never figure them out, because it allows them to constantly rule our lives without ever being accountable for anything. The only way to get along with them is to just go along with whatever they want. So my advice to men in their twenties is, date as many women as you can, fuck as many women as you can, but don't ever let one of them insult you or walk all over you, even one time. And for God's sake, don't marry one, at least until you're into your thirties and women have started to lose some of that charm and sexual power that they have over us when we're younger. Hopefully by the time you're around 33 or so, you'll start to realize that you're actually better off staying single. « Last Edit: Aug 28, 2006, 8:56am by dataguy » Link to Post - Back to Top Logged "If a man's alone in the woods, and he says something, and there's no woman around to criticize him, is he still wrong?" Earl Pickles, 1997 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 15 of 19 Lee Raconteur Administrator http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Re: A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please « Reply #17 on Sept 3, 2006, 12:15pm » member is offline hxxp://faithandsociety.typepad.com/faith_and_society/2006/05/the_catalog_of_.html The Catalog of Anti-Male Shaming Tactics Joined: Feb 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 519 Location: Los Angeles Karma: 9 "Shaming tactics." This phrase is familiar to many Men's Rights Activists. It conjures up the histrionic behavior of female detractors who refuse to argue their points with logic. Yet women are not the only ones guilty of using shaming tactics against men. Male gynocentrists use them, too. Shaming tactics are emotional devices meant to play on a man's insecurities and shut down debate. They are meant to elicit sympathy for women and to demonize men who ask hard questions. Most, if not all, shaming tactics are basically ad homimem attacks. Anyway, it might be helpful to categorize the major shaming tactics that are used against men whenever a discussion arises about feminism, men's issues, romance, etc. The following list contains descriptions of shaming tactics, some examples of quotes employing the tactics, and even color-coded aliases for mnemonic purposes. Enjoy. Charge of Irascibility (Code Red) Discussion: The target is accused of having anger management issues. Whatever negative emotions he has are assumed to be unjustifiable. Examples: "You're bitter!" "You need to get over your anger at women." "You are so negative!" Response: Anger is a legitimate emotion in the face of injustice. It is important to remember that passive acceptance of evil is not a virtue. Charge of Cowardice (Code Yellow) Discussion: The target is accused of having an unjustifiable fear of interaction with women. Examples: "You need to get over your fear." "Step up and take a chance like a man!" "You're afraid of a strong woman!" Response: It is important to remember that there is a difference between bravery and stupidity. The only risks that reasonable people dare to take are calculated risks. One weighs the likely costs and benefits of said risks. As it is, some men are finding out that many women fail a cost-benefit analysis. Charge of Hypersensitivity (Code Blue) - The Crybaby Charge Discussion: The target is accused of being hysterical or exaggerating the problems of men (i.e., he is accused of playing "Chicken Little"). Examples: "Stop whining!" "Get over it!" "Suck it up like a man!" 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 16 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... "You guys don't have it as nearly as bad as us women!" "You're just afraid of losing your male privileges." "Your fragile male ego ..." "Wow! You guys need to get a grip!" Response: One who uses the Code Blue shaming tactic reveals a callous indifference to the humanity of men. It may be constructive to confront such an accuser and ask if a certain problem men face needs to be addressed or not ("yes" or "no"), however small it may be seem to be. If the accuser answers in the negative, it may constructive to ask why any man should care about the accuser's welfare since the favor will obviously not be returned. If the accuser claims to be unable to do anything about the said problem, one can ask the accuser why an attack is necessary against those who are doing something about it. Charge of Puerility (Code Green) - The Peter Pan Charge Discussion: The target is accused of being immature and/or irresponsible in some manner that reflects badly on his status as an adult male. Examples: "Grow up!" "You are so immature!" "Do you live with your mother?" "I'm not interested in boys. I'm interested in real men." "Men are shirking their God-given responsibility to marry and bear children." Response: It should be remembered that one's sexual history, marital status, parental status, etc. are not reliable indicators of maturity and accountability. If they were, then we would not hear of white collar crime, divorce, teen sex, unplanned pregnancies, extramarital affairs, etc. Charge of Endangerment (Code Orange) - The Elevated Threat Charge Discussion: The target is accused of being a menace in some undefined manner. This charge may be coupled with some attempt to censor the target. Examples: "You guys are scary." "You make me feel afraid." Response: It may be constructive to point out that only bigots and tyrants are afraid of having the truth expressed to them. One may also ask why some women think they can handle leadership roles if they are so threatened by a man's legitimate freedom of expression. Charge of Rationalization (Code Purple) - The Sour Grapes Charge Discussion: The target is accused of explaining away his own failures and/or dissatisfaction by blaming women for his problems. Example: "You are just bitter because you can't get laid." Response: In this case, it must be asked if it really matters how one arrives at the truth. In other words, one may submit to the accuser, "What if the grapes really are sour?" At any rate, the Code Purple shaming tactic is an example of what is called "circumstantial ad hominem." Charge of Fanaticism (Code Brown) - The Brown Shirts Charge Discussion: The target is accused of subscribing to an intolerant, extremist ideology or of being devoted to an ignorant viewpoint. Examples: 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 17 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... "You're one of those right-wing wackos." "You're an extremist" "You sound like the KKK." "... more anti-feminist zaniness" Response: One should remember that the truth is not decided by the number of people subscribing to it. Whether or not certain ideas are "out of the mainstream" is besides the point. A correct conclusion is also not necessarily reached by embracing some middle ground between two opposing viewpoints (i.e., the logical fallacy of "False Compromise"). Charge of Invirility (Code Lavender) Discussion: The target's sexual orientation or masculinity is called into question. Examples: "Are you gay?" "I need a real man, not a sissy." "You're such a wimp." Response: Unless one is working for religious conservatives, it is usually of little consequence if a straight man leaves his accusers guessing about his sexual orientation. Charge of Overgeneralization (Code Gray) Discussion: The target is accused of making generalizations or supporting unwarranted stereotypes about women. Examples: "I'm not like that!" "Stop generalizing!" "That's a sexist stereotype!" Response: One may point out that feminists and many other women make generalizations about men. Quotations from feminists, for example, can be easily obtained to prove this point. Also, one should note that pointing to a trend is not the same as overgeneralizing. Although not all women may have a certain characteristic, a significant amount of them might. Charge of Misogyny (Code Black) Discussion: The target is accused of displaying some form of unwarranted malice to a particular woman or to women in general. Examples: "You misogynist creep!" "Why do you hate women?" "Do you love your mother?" "You are insensitive to the plight of women." "You are mean-spirited." "You view women as doormats." "You want to roll back the rights of women!!" "You are going to make me cry." Response: One may ask the accuser how does a pro-male agenda become inherently anti-female (especially since feminists often claim that gains for men and women are "not a zero-sum game"). One may also ask the accuser how do they account for women who agree with the target's viewpoints. The Code Black shaming tactic often 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 18 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... integrates the logical fallacies of "argumentum ad misericordiam" (viz., argumentation based on pity for women) and/or "argumentum in terrorem" (viz., arousing fear about what the target wants to do to women). Charge of Instability (Code White) - The White Padded Room Charge Discussion: The target is accused of being emotionally or mentally unstable. Examples: "You're unstable." "You have issues." "You need therapy." "Weirdo!" Response: In response to this attack, one may point to peer-reviewed literature and then ask the accuser if the target's mental and/or emotional condition can explain the existence of valid research on the matter. Charge of Selfishness (Code Silver) Discussion: This attack is self-explanatory. It is a common charge hurled at men who do not want to be bothered with romantic pursuits. Examples: "You are so materialistic." "You are so greedy." Response: It may be beneficial to turn the accusation back on the one pressing the charge. For instance, one may retort, "So you are saying I shouldn't spend my money on myself, but should instead spend it on a woman like you ---and you accuse me of being selfish?? Just what were you planning to do for me anyway?" Charge of Superficiality (Code Gold) - The All-That-Glitters Charge Discussion: The charge of superficiality is usually hurled at men with regard to their mating preferences. Examples: "If you didn't go after bimbos, then ..." "How can you be so shallow and turn down a single mother?" Response: Average-looking women can be just as problematic in their behavior as beautiful, "high-maintanence" women. Regarding the shallowness of women, popular media furnishes plenty of examples where petty demands are made of men by females (viz., those notorious laundry lists of things a man should/should not do for his girlfriend or wife). Charge of Unattractiveness (Code Tan) - The Ugly Tan Charge Discussion: The target is accused of having no romantic potential as far as women are concerned. Examples: "I bet you are fat and ugly." "You can't get laid!" "Creep!" "Loser!" "Have you thought about the problem being you?" Response: This is another example of "circumstantial ad hominem." The target's romantic potential ultimately does not reflect on the merit of his arguments. 9/9/2006 10:57 PM dontgetmarried.com - A repost of the 'Shame tactics', please 19 of 19 http://dontgetmarried.proboards75.com/index.cgi?board=general&action... Charge of Defeatism (Code Maroon) Discussion: This shaming tactic is akin to the Charge of Irascibility and the Charge of Cowardice in that the accuser attacks the target's negative or guarded attitude about a situation. However, the focus is not so much on the target's anger or fear, but on the target's supposed attitude of resignation. Examples: "Stop being so negative." "You are so cynical." "If you refuse to have relationships with women, then you are admitting defeat." "C'mon! Men are doers, not quitters." Response: The charge of defeatism can be diffused by explaining that one is merely being realistic about a situation. Also, one can point out that asking men to just accept their mistreatment at the hands of women and society is the real attitude that is defeatist. Many men have not lost their resolve; many have lost their patience. Threat of Withheld Affection (Code Pink) - The Pink Whip Discussion: The target is admonished that his viewpoints or behavior will cause women to reject him as a mate. Examples: "No woman will marry you with that attitude." "Creeps like you will never get laid!" Response: This is an example of the logical fallacy "argumentum ad baculum" (the "appeal to force"). The accuser attempts to negate the validity of a position by pointing to some undesirable circumstance that will befall anyone who takes said position. Really, the only way to deal with the "Pink Whip" is to realize that a man's happiness and worth is not based on his romantic conquests (including marriage). Link to Post - Back to Top Logged Forum Jump Click Here To Make This Board Ad-Free This Board Hosted For FREE By ProBoards Get Your Own Free Message Board! 9/9/2006 10:57 PM