HEALING HURTS
Identify ways you have hurt your spouse and your marriage. Think back to early days, courtship and early
marriage. Allow God to show you any behaviors that were selfish, critical, insensitive, disrespectful,
verbally abusive, unsupportive, ungrateful, unfaithful, rejecting, or unforgiving. USE I STATEMENTS.
This means the sentence is started with the word I. Ex. “Our marriage was hurt when I ___________.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Identify ways in which you and your marriage has been hurt by the behavior of your spouse. Do not list
what your spouse’s behavior was, simply identify how you felt. Your hurt feelings are the important
element of this exercise. Identify how you felt using “I” statements. Ex. “I felt __________ when
___________. Try not to use pronouns such as he or she, but use “I” or simply rephrase it without a
pronoun. Example: “I felt sad when I found myself feeling neglected sexually.” OR “I felt alone when I
took on the majority of the responsibility in rearing our children.” OR “I felt angry/betrayed when our
marital covenant was broken through an affair.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Scripture journaling: Eph 4:31-32 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along
with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you.
Spend time reflecting on what it means to “get rid of” your bitterness and anger. What would you like to
tell God at this time?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Prepared by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT, LPC
Healing Hurts through Confession and Forgiveness
Accept Responsibility, Show Empathy, Agree with God
“So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.” Rom 14:12
As you review your confessions list, choose one of the main hurts you have caused. Write a letter to your
spouse expressing your feelings and commitments.
Dear ________________________
I realize that (Identify the behavior) has hurt you.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
You may feel (using empathy, imagine how you would feel if you were your spouse):
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
God considers this behavior:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
I am asking God’s forgiveness, and I am asking for your forgiveness. From this time forward I will:
(describe specific ways your behavior will change).
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
“For Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted…” 2Cor 7:10a
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9)
Isaiah 53
When we truly let God impact us with these truths, we experience a godly sorrow that produces a change
in our behavior. Spend time telling God about your sorrow:
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The
effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16
Prepared by Dr. Amy Fuller, LMFT, LPC