Type your First and Last Name
Mrs. Rumbo
Language Arts 11
11-13-20
"The fake love story” ← or you can give it a unique title
I remember it being a decent day. I forgot my homework again so I knew that I
would be gettin the bench again. While I was sitting on the bench there were two others, there
was a girl who spoke back to the teacher and was on the bench for that. And there was Chris, a
new kid who had also forgotten his homework. We weren't supposed to talk to each other but no
adult was watching us so we talked for a bit. I wanted to know him a little better and he wanted
to know me better or so I thought.
A day after that I walked into class late because of traffic and I was supposed to sign in
and get to class. I did just that and walked to class. The teacher was mad that I was late but I
didn't care that she was always cranky. I sat down and nothing was out of the ordinary but I felt
something was off. Later during lunch everyone in my class was not playing like usual instead
they were all surrounding the bench where I was. I was confused as no one cared to pay
attention to me so why now? Only one student wasn’t there, Amber was sitting at the lunch
table and she was looking towards my direction confused. Then out of nowhere i heard
someone shout “hey Amber did you know that this guy likes you.” Everyone started laughing
and I wanted to run and hide but that had to be the only time that the teacher was watching and
I couldn't leave.
A few days later I had to be by the office instead of the bench so I did amber. Forgot why
she was there but i am kind of glad we spoke to each other she was blushing and i was
embarrassed to talk to her. I apologize for what happened a few days ago and she was fine. I
told her everything about why I had a crush on her and a few other things. She was confused as
to why I was calling her beautiful when everyone called her the opposite. I told her beauty is in
the eye of the beholder, she said that she only wanted to be friends with me and I was ok with
that. But that didn’t stop others from making fun of us.
Everyone was making fun of us for months, one would always call us a couple. But on
one occasion we were supposed to write a love story for valentine’s day. Me and Amber
decided to work together so we wrote a good story called “Blood in Roses” and of course they
made fun of us. We didn’t care at the time but when it was time to present mostly everyone
came in with happy couple gifts and they would interrupt us and ask us questions about “being a
couple” we got through the story with no other problems.
I had to move schools because my dad moved to Norwalk so I never actually got to say
goodbye to amber. I went to a middle school where I received the closest I needed. I met a girl
named Emily. She was just like Amber. They had so many things in common. I became friends
with her and when she left to texas i felt like the roles were reversed but this time i got to say
goodbye. To this day I miss them very much but only I moved on .
Don't forget to complete the scoring of your own personal narrative using our Rubric below:
I graded my own Unit 2: Personal Narrative essay and here are my scores on the Rubric:
Overall Structure
A
B
C
D
F
Excellent
structure.
My story
contains
Intro, Body
section, and
Closing as
modelled.
Well
organized
with
structure. I
tried my best
to give a
Intro, Body,
and Closing
My story
does have
some
structure,
Intro, Body
and Closing.
Might be
missing some
structure
elements.
One big
paragraph
only or one
big story
without
clearly
planned out
Intro, body
and closing
Well-placed
figurative
language
I tried my
best and
used
figurative
language
Couldn't
No figurative
figure it out or language
didn't work
out with
figurative
language
3
2 times
Use of Figurative Impressive
Language
use of
figurative
language
4
Use of Imagery
(5 senses)
I used 5
Vivid and
memorable
Images. +
I used 4 clear
and useful
Images. +
I appealed to
My story
contains only
visual
images.
1
0
I couldn't
figure out the
images
matching with
I have not
included any
images. Or,
my imagery
I appealed
to 2 or more
senses.
2 or more
senses.
or
I only
included 3
images total.
my tone in
the story
or
I only have 2
images total.
goes against
the tone of
the story.
0
Characterization
The people
in my story
are
believable
and I have
captured
their
genuine
personalities
using
Character
ization
techniques.
4+
I used a
variety of
strategic
characterizati
on
techniques to
portray my
characters.
I did try to
use
characterizati
on. My story
would have
been more
engaging if I
had used
more
characterizati
on.
My narrative
does not fully
bring to life all
my
characters.
Not enough
characterizati
on. Mostly
me, narrator,
talking.
I didn't get
the whole
characterizati
on idea. So
my story
doesn't have
it.
3
3
1- 2
0
Editing and
Grammar
--I wrote this See bullets 1- See bullets 1narrative
3 in column
3 in column A
this year for A.
Mrs.
Rumbo. This
is not a
recycled
narrative
from another
year or class
or writer.
My story may
My story may have some
--I used
have some
grammar
basic MLA
grammar
errors still.
style (typed, errors still.
double
4+
spaced, size 3
12 font:
Times New
Roman)
My writing
lacks
necessary
editing for
grammar and
sentence
structure.
I have many
errors
because I
didn't clean
up my rough
draft.
5+
My writing is
unclear to
readers
because I
have an
overwhelming
amount of
errors in
grammar and
sentence
structure.
Too many to
count.
--I edited my
writing and it
has few if
any
grammar,
spelling,
syntax or
run-on
sentence
mistakes.
Instructions: Please highlight the score you give yourself in each of the above categories. Just
highlight the entire category box with the HOT PINK highlighter color.
At the end, I will type in the letter (A,B,C,D, or F) I scored my essay for each category
underneath each category title on the left side of the rubric.