Anurag Mukherjee
~ by Aman
VIT University, Veeloor
Homo-sapiens have always been an enigmatic species. In this kaleidoscopic world, they
come with so many colours and essence, but few curious ones are grey. During our research, we
stumbled upon many such ‘grey’ featuring beings, each possessing a unique shade.
We found a specimen of this intriguing species during the initial days of college. Along
with the generous funding from VIT (net amount of Rs.0), we set on a long process to extract
the personality particles from this creature, Anurag Mukherjee, who obliged (no constraints
whatsoever) to be the subject of our research (Nothing’s illegal about performing human
experiments with(out?) their consent).
The objective is plain and obvious even to a layman. We 6 prodigies (The Serious Six),
who gave up on the higher challenges of life, would like to better educate the proletariat masses
and bring positive changes in this world. We want to bring a constructive change in the
mindsets of this seemingly great of wall of void.
Hence, we, the researchers of VIT have set forth on a process to venture into the depths
of one such shade of grey whose wavelength detection was as difficult as locating your friend in
the subway on a Monday morning.
Rest assured that it will be the driest, most dreary ride into the vast expanse of
depressingly bleak shade of grey you would never venture into if not for the circumstances.
However, a word of caution before proceeding. Be wary of anime. Stay miles away from anime.
Introduction
So, here, we’ll delve into our subject a bit more.
Name: Anurag Mukherjee
Date of Birth: 20-06-2001
Place of birth: Gujarat
Current Age: 19
Height: 5 feet 7 inches
Weight: 68 kg
Zodiac Sign: Gemini
Brief description on him from his friends:
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Bookworm
Photographer
The anime guy (binge watches this particular entertainment sector)
Helpful
Light gamer
Sincere (only during CATs and FATs)
Loves 2-D girls (this attribute is weird enough to make him unsocial)
Anything that this creature likes, he expresses it with a phrase, “Ekdum Mast”,
A dog lover
An atheist
An artist
Lazy bum
Amateur cook
An audiophile
Kuchh zyada hi coursera ke courses karne vala.
CHUTIYA (most popular opinion by a large amount)
(Subject is in green T-shirt with one of our researchers in the background. This scene was
during one of our experiments)
During our extensive research of 1 year of beings exhibiting the ‘grey’ phenomena, many
interesting qualities came to light.
We observed that this creature while not too hard on the eyes is a havoc to hear. He loves to
drink wine, beer, blueberry, Fanta and Maza (from N-Block shop) and has certain affinity
towards weed, ganja etc.
Tidiness is secondary in priority; primary motive is to understand Japanese culture and
loves smart-ass jokes which include multidimensional references. He detests relationships but
is available to 2-D girls or girls who like anime (eg- Anita or Sachi).
Also, spikes in wavelengths and variations in facial expressions were observed when the
subject was subjected to anime. Some of which are shown below:
(Him watching anime. Subject can be seen to have gotten in a zone where absence of researchers was
experienced by him)
(When he sees his anime crush, funny face was recorded)
(When Anita or Sachi says hello, our subject smiled which was a rare phenomenon among this
section of species)
Anurag Mukherjee was also one of those guys who actively took part in group activities and
was responsible for upliftment of grades of his fellow mates who were doing a research on him.
He also holds the accomplishment of getting 9+ CGPA in his first year of engineering which is
truly a remarkable achievement.
Experimental Methods
1) Situation based analysis (Major contributor in our study)
2)
Befriending the subject (It helped reveal some hidden secrets)
Procedure
Since the names of the methods are self-explanatory, but still some light will be shed on this.
In the situation-based analysis, the subject along with the researchers were put in many
situations where the focus was on the reaction of our guinea pig. Surprising results were
recorded and ‘Ultra Pro Level’ technique-based analysis was used to study the data. Modern
researchers have proven that ‘Ultra Pro Level’ technique holds much better accuracy than
Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning etc. which are obsolete mode of data analysis.
Befriending the subject helped in the study of emotions, observing his likes and dislikes,
his crushes and his mood swings.
Results
All the observations were successfully verified by our ingenious techniques.
Therefore, we have plotted his heart rate vs time graph depicting different scenarios. The said
graph is shown below.
OBSERVATIONS FROM THE GRAPH:
1) 1<= T(s) <2093: When the subject is in the company of researchers.
2) 2093 <= T(s) < 3139: When the subject either sees his reel-life crush or real-life crush.
3) 4185 <= T(s) <= 5231: When the subject sees this research paper and the videos and
photos. (This assumption is based on the analysis technique – ‘Ultra Pro Level’ as the
data collection was terminated at T(s)= 3139s).