ELAISA A. ENOPIA MWF (10:30-11:30) BEED-1 HUM 031 Art- Appreciation On Darkness’ grasp: A Reflective response on the film,” Loving Vincent” Loving Vincent, as for my perception, is about showing how many people loves Van Gogh despite of him, never knowing about it. The film highlighted on how Van Gogh impacted a lot of people in his time, the present, and all the artistic aspects in our society. Other than that, the film can be considered as one of the ways to celebrate the life of the well-known, great artist and recognize numerous contributions he brought, that benefited many people all throughout these years. Watching the film lets people feel and think a lot of things that can be associated with real-life situations. In my case, there were two precise words that came into my mind while watching the film which I chose to highlight, because of its relevance in today’s time. For me, the film can be linked with the “mental health” issues that, as what we have observed and seen now in our society, is timely and rampant. It is not a secret to all of those who knows Vincent Van Gogh that he struggled with mental illness throughout his life. Although it was not mentioned whether if its depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder, the artists was described as “eccentric” because of how he acted. People in his time had limited knowledge about the subject of “mental health. For that reason, people did not refer those mentally ill people as how we think and react today when it comes to that subject. As what we have currently observed in our society, there are already a lot of suicide cases all around the world that spread all throughout the internet and the news. It’s been really rampant that it has become alarming. There were three salient lines in the scenes that aroused sudden emotions within me that I think is relevant and can be associated with my life and the situation that the present time is in. First, the scene where postman Roulin and his son, Armand were talking at Café Terrace and the postman told these exact words to his son, Armand: “Live longer, you’ll see. Life can even bring down the strong.” As we mature and dive into the world of adulting, life’s darkest side slowly creeps out of nowhere at the most vulnerable time, which will make it hard to live by every single day. As we get older, responsibilities get heavier, we may lose significant people in our lives and gain a lot of disappointments. For these reasons, many people feel that it’s been hard for them to live by each day, and that includes me. People may see me as a happy, quirky, and bubbly person all the time, but there are times that I am smiling while I am breaking in the inside. Other than that, most the time I would feel sudden unexplainable heaviness in my chest and the feeling of emptiness that sometimes arouses for no reason. There are just times that I get anxious and feel extremely tired and sad, that I just want to give up and rest for a long time. Basically, this line implies there are people who tries so hard to put up a strong front, that even though they look totally fine little did we know, part of them hides someone who cries themselves to sleep with dark thoughts burying them alive. There are people who makes everyone happy but no one can even bother in making them happy. They save everyone but no one can even save them, not even themselves. Other than that, the part where Armand read Vincent Van Gogh’s letter that is supposed to be for Theo, Vincent’s brother. The letter comprised these words: “Who am I in the eyes of most people? A nobody, a non-entity, an unpleasant person. Someone who has not, and never will have any position in the society. In short, the lowest of the low. Well then even if that were all absolutely true, then one day I will have to show by my work, what this nobody, this non entity has in his heart.” Watching the film and how our society has become, made me wonder how messed up this world must have been for people to actually end their lives just to stop the suffering. However, I realized that maybe it’s not the world, but the people. How can other people be at ease knowing that they destroyed someone’s self-esteem and made them doubt not just everyone around him, but also himself? It makes me wonder how those kinds of people breathe without feeling even the tiniest guilt for telling them belittling, harsh, and hurtful remarks. All of us should be aware that words can hurt, and can tragically might kill someone. Each one of us might not be all suicidal, but imprudent and hurtful remarks might trigger suicidal thoughts, so we must keep in mind to be careful on what we say to anyone. Each one of us carries different amount of pain, no one has the right to underestimate the situation that each one of us is in and consider it as “overreacting”. I, myself, can determine that sometimes I get overly sensitive with things that other people calls “petty”, but impacted me a lot. Those “petty things” made me doubt my capabilities, worth, and myself which made me overthink of what I should do to be worthy in the eyes of everyone. In my case, it was not that severe for me to actually harm myself, but what about those people who have been hurting a lot more than anyone else? What if they have been trying so hard to prove something but no one even bothers to recognize it to the point they’ve become so tired that they would want to rest. Even though they are not already mentally stable, it does not mean that they are not human, for them not feel tired. I realized that what if it’s not really the “life” itself they want to quit? What if they just want to quit the chest pains, anxiety, and the struggles? They just want to kill the part of them that tells them that they are not good enough, that they are not worthy, and that they are just a mere disappointment. Maybe they don’t really mean to end their lives, but just the suffering. Maybe they don’t actually want to disappear, but they just want saving. Lastly, this line from the scene where postman Roulin and his son, Armand were sitting in a bench near by the bay, this might be impactful for a lot of people but at least, this will make them evaluate and think about themselves. Postman Roulin said: “The trick is to know what you’re fighting for” Just like Van Gogh and other people out there, I came to the point that I just also want to give up everything. I am also fighting an invisible battle every single day, but what keeps going is the goal that I want to achieve. I want to prove something to everyone who belittled me and told me that I can never be worthy to be someone and not just a nobody. Perhaps other people might think that it’s just so difficult to live by when darkness lingers within, grasping your hand every day. I went through that too, but the reasons why I keep on fighting motivates me to keep going. I decided to initiate in gathering my shattered pieces and rebuild myself. I realized that, perhaps the key to survive life’s cruelty until the very end, is to find the torch of motivation too see the path that you are supposed to take even in times of darkness. No one can never understand and has the right to judge those people when they never in the same ocean that drowned and killed them. All of us feels different amount of pain that is too vague for other people to understand. I might not in the same depressing situation with everyone, but sometimes we just need to save ourselves instead of waiting to be saved by other people. Just like anyone else, they have their own battle to triumph over and different paths to take. We should learn not to depend on them all the time. Sometimes, we just need to awaken the courage within us to start moving, even if it’s in slow pace. Life may seem complicated; I know and it’s given. However, I also know that better days are coming just like what happen to me and how it shed light to me. I should not be insisting my case, for I know that my pain is different from theirs, but I just hope and pray for whatever hurt them to finally be at least lessen that pain that they are feeling and that their damaged soul after that countless battle would finally be healed and live the life that they’ve been praying for, the life that they deserve. I hope someday they would be able to find that torch that can lighten up their pitch-dark soul. “Van Gogh painted when he had nothing but pain, painted when he was sad, and painted when the world was terrible. He hated himself, but never hated painting. Because it was never about being famous, but doing that one thing that made sense when everything didn’t”
