FLORENDA D. SUMAWANG
MA – PM
EDU 129
PRINCIPLES OF HUMAN RELATIONS
DEFINITION OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
Conflict management is the practice of being able to identify and handle conflicts sensibly, fairly,
and efficiently. Since conflicts in a business are a natural part of the workplace, it is important
that there are people who understand conflicts and know how to resolve them. This is important
in today's market more than ever. Everyone is striving to show how valuable they are to the
company they work for and at times, this can lead to disputes with other members of the team.
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLES
Conflicts happen. How an employee responds and resolves conflict will limit or enable that
employee's success. Here are five conflict styles that a manager will follow according to Kenneth
W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann:
An accommodating manager is one who cooperates to a high degree. This may be at the
manager's own expense and actually work against that manager's own goals, objectives, and
desired outcomes. This approach is effective when the other person is the expert or has a better
solution.
Avoiding an issue is one way a manager might attempt to resolve conflict. This type of conflict
style does not help the other staff members reach their goals and does not help the manager
who is avoiding the issue and cannot assertively pursue his or her own goals. However, this works
well when the issue is trivial or when the manager has no chance of winning.
To reduce the risk of becoming involved in conflict:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Be positive
Be aware of personality clashes
Communicate respectfully
Don’t get involved in emotional manipulation
Know what’s important
Collaborating managers become partners or pair up with each other to achieve both of their
goals in this style. This is how managers break free of the win-lose paradigm and seek the winwin. This can be effective for complex scenarios where managers need to find a novel solution.
Competing: This is the win-lose approach. A manager is acting in a very assertive way to achieve
his or her own goals without seeking to cooperate with other employees, and it may be at the
expense of those other employees. This approach may be appropriate for emergencies when
time is of the essence.
Compromising: This is the lose-lose scenario where neither person nor manager really achieves
what they want. This requires a moderate level of assertiveness and cooperation. It may be
appropriate for scenarios where you need a temporary solution or where both sides have equally
important goals.
HOW TO RESPOND TO CONFLICT
Conflict can result when people have differences in opinions, beliefs, and thinking. It can occur
with coworkers and supervisors in the workplace and with family and friends in your personal
life. Conflict is an uncomfortable yet natural part of life. However, when conflict is not dealt with
effectively, it can result in personal attacks, deadlock, and unproductive behavior. Learning how
to successfully address conflict is a worthwhile endeavor that can benefit you for a lifetime.
1. Take a break if you need one. It is important to get your emotions under control before you
respond to a conflict. Otherwise, you may end up overreacting, saying something out of anger,
or responding in a frightening way. Try excusing yourself for a few minutes, if possible, and use
the time to calm yourself down.
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For example, you could go for a quick walk around the neighborhood to give you a chance
to process your thoughts. Or, you could go into another room and write down what you
are thinking and feeling.
2. Accept that your feelings are simply your own. There are a range of emotions that you can
experience when facing conflict, such as anger, fear, despair, and confusion. However, the person
who you are in conflict with may not be feeling the same things. As a result, the emotional
differences might leave your feeling threatened or confused.
3. Pay attention to your inner thoughts. You inner thoughts are the thoughts than run through
your mind when facing a conflict, which you are normally made aware of through selftalk. Sometimes you may have conflicting inner thoughts. Though no one can hear what you are
thinking, your internal dialogue can help you to understand your emotional and physical
responses.
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For example, if someone were to cut in front of you while standing in line, you might think,
“Who does he think he is cutting in front of me like that,” or “I don’t think he recognized
that I was standing here before him.”
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As a result of these conflicting inner thoughts, you might exhibit a positive emotional
response by politely saying, “Excuse me, but I believe I was waiting in line before you,” or
demonstrate a negative physical response by forcefully placing yourself in front of the
person.
4. Manage your physical response to conflict. You need to pay attention to the physical reactions
that your body has when facing conflict, as your physical responses play a prominent role in how
effective you are in addressing the conflict. Physical responses to conflict include increased stress,
heartbeat, and sweat; feeling physically tense; or having shallow or accelerated breathing.
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You can control your physical reactions to conflict through various stress management
techniques, such as meditation, deep breathing, and exercising. Moving to a more
relaxing place is another good way to manage negative physical responses.
5. Listen to the other person’s side. Being willing to listen is an important part of responding to
a conflict. By listening closely to what the other person has to say you will get a better
understanding of his or her perspective and you will also be more likely to be heard when it is
your turn to speak.
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Try telling the person something like, “I really want to understand your perspective, so I
am willing to listen if you would like to talk.”
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Make sure that there are no distractions while you are listening. Put away your cell phone,
turn off the TV, and choose a quiet place.
6. Stay focused on the present moment. When you have a conflict with someone, it might be
tempting to bring up past problems and use them as ammo against the person. However, this
can make a conflict worse. Instead, stay focused on solving the problem at hand.
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If you start reflecting on past problems, remind yourself that those things are in the past.
Your goal is to solve the current conflict.
7. Talk to someone about what happened. Discussing the conflict with a friend or family member
may help you to put things into perspective. Talking about how the conflict made you feel is also
a good way to vent some of your anger over the situation.
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Try calling up a trusted friend or family member before you respond to the situation.