Disclaimer from BossyGirl: This is a guest post-l did NOT write this. I decided not to post her name or her lover's name for her protection. Read at your own risk.
What kind of woman sleeps with a married man? Well a woman like me does. No, I am not a tight dress wearing, morals all over the place, floosie who preys on married men. I am young professional who by all other measureable things is successful. The only difference between me and you is that I am in a relationship with a married man... my soul mate. Before you judge me you should know a couple of things about me. I am a Christian. I attend church twice a week. I am a nice person who happened to fall in love.
I met Adam (that is not his real name) three years ago. He was a partner at the firm I worked at and we instantly clicked. Yes, I knew he was married but he said he was going through a "rough patch" and would leave his wife. After three years of dating I have learned a lot about him and other married men that I have dated.
I decided to write this post because I am tired of being portrayed as the villain who breaks up happy homes. Every time I see a wife on television crying about how the mistress broke up her family I want to wring her neck. Yeah right! These wives are not innocent... you are not entitled to your man... you have to work for him. So I decided to school some of you, wives, on how to keep your man. So follow these rules and I will never have to take your man.
1) I don't go out to find your man... HE FINDS me. There's this belief that women like me go out and pursue men that wear wedding bands. Negative. Many times I am chilling with my friends at a lounge and guess who is lurking around the club trying to get with us? Yep, your husband. Usually he'll stare all night, send us drinks (on him, of course) and right before we're about to leave he decides to make his move. Sometimes he has his band on but most times he's not. If he's attractive, my friends will exchange numbers, or Facebook ids with them and before we get home he's already "blowing up" our phones or pages. Sometimes men are upfront and tell me (or my friends) they’re married but mostly they hide it. And if it does come up they make up some lame excuse about you not liking to go out... blah, blah, blah... Before the week is out he's trying to go out and never once does he bring you back up.
2) Get yourself together. While you are gaining 15 pounds of "baby weight" I am getting fine in the gym. Almost all of the men I have dated have wives who are not only overweight but dress like they’re on permanent mom duty. Is that a prerequisite of being a wife to look... homely?
While you’re out, eating fried chicken and stuffing your face with doughnuts I am in the gym 2 hours a day to stay haute. l do not have a gut, my thighs don't rub together and when I am out men they want to be with me. When me and "my man" go out he compliments my body. Other men stare at my body; they wish I was their girl. They admire my body. He does not have to remind me to take care of myself. I get my hair and nails done every week. My clothes are always in style, my breasts are still taut and my butt is solid. Can they say the same about you?
3) Quit being insecure... you call him all day (and night) wanting to know when he comes home. In the three years I was involved with Adam I never called him questioning where he had been, who he was with or what he had been doing. No, I made him call me, he wants to know how my day has been, he's interested in me. I would hear his wife calling damn near crying because she's been bored all day at the house with the kids. She has no life but her kids. He says when he calls her all she does is talk kid and house "stuff". According to him, she's boring. Not me! I tell him about my trip with my girlfriends to Mexico later this summer, my promotion or how I am thinking about remodeling my house or going to Essence in the summer. I am always fun.
4) Stop talking about what you won't do... really! Every time I turn on the television, I hear women telling their friends what they won't do. The usuals are: they won't go half on the bills, they won't cook, and they won't give their husbands a massage, won't wear that outfit, they won't listen to shit their man has to say... They're the boss. Really you women cry about being married then when someone marries you, you all of a sudden become Mrs. No. What is the point of coming

home if all you hear is NO when you want something? I'd never come home. When he comes to my house I am Ms. Yes. I cook him dinner, give him massages, please him in any way I can. And guess what? He loves that. He marvels at how attentive I am, how much I care about him.
5) Keep listening to your family, friends and everyone else on TV (who is single) on how to handle your man before long you'll be single just like them. Today women beg to get married, then when they walk down the aisle they listen to everyone else on how to handle your business.
Besides writing this post I don't disclose to people what I do with my man. If I need advice, I will call a close family member. Enough said. As I look back on my relationships with married men I can honestly say I know how to treat my husband when I finally get married. I don't feel bad for anything I've done... I would not have been able to do any of it without your help!