Abused wives recount tales of anguish, despair at divorce bill hearing. One was abandoned while
another almost committed suicide because of a violent, abusive husband. Ma. Stella Sibonga and
Len Arcilla, both of the Divorce Coalition of the Philippines, were among the sources who
narrated their agonizing married life at the first discussion of the divorce bill in the Senate.
Len told that senate committee on women that in 2002, her husband started his infidelity. She
gave her a second chance but it was a mistake because things got worse. The husband started
hurting their children, she reported that he even choked their eldest. It got to the point that he
started pointing a knife at her. Despite the nightmare, she stayed with her husband just to keep
their family together.
In 2010, Len said her husband told her that he had a stay-in job only to find out that he was
living in with another woman. They always fought because of this and he choked and hurt her
even if she spoiled him with everything including sex. But it did not end there. Len begged her
husband not to leave their family and said she was willing to “share” him with the mistress. But
her husband still left and abandoned them.1
With the Absolute Divorce Bill, Len can finally escape her husband’s torture and abandonment.
The grounds for a judicial degree of absolute divorce that can be applied to the case of Len are
under Article 55 of the family code of the Philippines which includes;
1) Physical violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner, a
common child or a child of the petitioner.
2) Marital Infidelity
3) Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner, a common child or a
child of the petitioner
4) Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than
one (1) year2
On another hand, Stella reported her horrible married life with her husband who was forced to
marry her when she got pregnant at 18. She said her husband became an alcoholic and that he
was always blaming her for their marriage. He would tell her that he was just forced to get
married. She added that one time, she caught him with another woman. But Sibonga stayed for
the sake of their three children. She admitted thinking of suicide, twice. Sibonga said she filed
for an annulment in 2011 and was granted after five years. 3
Like Stella, Annulment has been the preeminent recourse for couples who have problematic
marriage. But it comes with a large price, as the annulment procedure has been described as a
“game of mud-slinging and outsmarting” that makes breaking up dreadful and encourages a
petitioner to exaggerate problems in order to attain an advantageous decision. It is also lengthy,
exhaustive, inhumane, and entails expensive court proceeding. In fact, an annulment would cost
1
Ager, M. “Abused wives recount tales of anguish, despair at divorce bill hearing” Available at
https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/1165439/abused-wives-recount-tales-of-anguish-despair-at-divorce-billhearing#ixzz5zqqzgIKX
2
3
The family code of the Philippines (1987)
GMA 24 oras News. (2019, September 17)
around Php 300,000 to Php 1,000,000 and could take years to reach promulgation, and stll the
decision may not be favorable to the couple.
Stella had to endure 5 years being married to someone who is abusive and an alcoholic. With the
absolute divorce she could have easily filed it under the grounds of the following:
1) Under article 55 of the family code of the Philippines; Drug addiction or habitual
alcoholism or chronic gambling of the respondent4
2) Irreconcilable marital differences and conflicts which have resulted in the total
breakdown of the marriage beyond repair, despite earnest and repeated efforts at
reconciliation5
But since Stella has already been annulled, the ground of annulments are also under the ground
of absolute divorce so she may file for absolute divorce for the grounds she filed under that
annulment.
But it seems that women are not always at the receiving end. At the same hearing, a former
seaman, Marco Anthony Luna, also shared his experience of his unhealthy marriage. He recalled
during the hearing how his wife suddenly lost interest in him when he returned home in 1994.
While at sea in 2011, Luna claimed that he received an email from his wife who said she wanted
out of the marriage. Still, he tried to save their marriage so they ended up living in Baguio City
but they also ended up living in separate rooms. He said he wanted to file for an annulment but
could not afford a P200,000 initial payment and other fees every hearing. 6
Married couples should be given an option that clears away a lengthy, exhaustive, inhumane and
expensive court proceeding like annulment, but gives them the liberty to start all over again and
remarry which legal separation cannot provide. Divorce can be the best alternative given such
circumstances.
Surely, the Catholic Church will be the devoted opponent against the divorce bill. Every Filipino
has a diverse belief may it be in religion or in state. Therefore no religious group has the right to
dictate law or policy for the entire country. The law should give people a choice in life to
exercise, according to their own personal beliefs. They should be able to choose the life they
want to live without being held down by a toxic marriage. There are thousands of people,
especially women who are stuck in abusive marriages. Should domestic abuse be tolerated just
because of the belief that marriages are an unbreakable bond when the rest of the world has
already passed the law in which is the solution for these types of situations. Everyone deserves a
second chance to live out their lives after being married to the wrong person. The lack of a
divorce law for non-Muslim Filipinos complicates further the marital and family problems of
many Filipinos. Our government has clearly failed to respond to the needs of many who are
4
The family code of the Philippines (1987)
An Act instituting Absolute divorce in the Philippines and for other purposes. House Bill No. 7303. Committee
report No. 640. (2018)
6
GMA 24 oras News. (2019, September 17)
5
suffering from unhealthy marriages. If the country wants to improve and move forward to be
better, we have to confront the veracities of marital and family life of Filipinos.
Given all these, I believe that divorce should be legalized in the Philippines. Currently, the only
legal recourse available to Filipinos who want to exit a failed union is through an annulment or a
petition for legal separation. These available options to married couples are too expensive and
arduous. Relationships are overwrought even further for a longer period of time. The Divorce
Bill takes appropriate precautions and keeps the most vulnerable stakeholders—children,
domestic abuse victims, and indigent applicants—in mind. It provides professional and muchneeded support to families in the process of divorce, and would allow parents to be able to move
on with their lives and be in a better position to parent their adolescents