Redondo Union High School
Message from the Nest
Getting Ready to Write for Col/ege Admissions
Class of 2020
I. The University of California: The UC system has just recently announced that the twoessay requirement has been replaced with "Personal Insight Questions" that will give
applicants a greater say in the kind of information they share with the University. Students can
express whom they are and what matters to them not only in how they respond to the
questions, but also through the questions they choose to answer.
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Freshman applicants will choose four out of eight questions to answer.
Each response (short-answer) is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
All questions will have equal value in the admissions selection process. For applicants,
there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
PERSONAL INSIGHT QUESTIONS: Students choose four questions.
1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced
others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.
2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving,
original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your
creative side.
3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and
demonstrated that talent over time?
4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked
to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to
overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this
interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you
stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?
II. Common Application: The Common Application prompts will not be changed this year.
The applicant must choose ONE essay prompt and the maximum essay length is 650 words.
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful they
believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please
share your story.
2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success.
Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what
did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted
your thinking? What was the outcome?
4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual
challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no
matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to
identify a solution.
,5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth
and a new understanding of yourself or others.
6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of
time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that
responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Several of the UC Personal Insight Questions could be developed into one of the
Common App prompts; students who are applying to both systems (UC and Common
App) .should conslder that possibility when choosing the four Personal Insight
Questions.
III. California State University: The CSU system does not allow students to submit an essay
for evaluation.
IV. Out of State Colleges: Generally, some out-of-state public colleges do allow students to
submit an essay, and the prompts are specific to educational and/or career goals,
achievement, talent and/or leadership. Maximum word count is usually 500.
V. EI Camino College: The Honors Transfer Program requires one essay, minimum
650 word count, with much flexibility in essay topic selection. Any of the above essays could
be used to satisfy the application requirement.
VI. Scholarships: The RUHS Sea Hawk Scholarship Portfolio, EI Camino College
Scholarships and many others require an essay for eligibility. Again, generally, the topics
include educational and/or career goals, achievement, talent and/or leadership. Essays should
be no more than 500 words in length.
Class of 2019 - Personal Statement Examples
Student
Common Application Essay Prompt
Miriam Farah
Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is so
meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it.
If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Soleil Engin
The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to
later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge/ setbeck; or
failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience.
Ben Tait
Conor Kelly
Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can
be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its
significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a
solution.
Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can
be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its
significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a
solution.
Chance Thurman
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of
personal arowth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Anne Koutures
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of
personal arowth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Ryan Cartee
Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you
lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do turn to
when you want to learn more?
fY\)~
Miriam Farah - Personal Statement ~
I
Judge, lawyers, students, and the teenage defendant-all eyes are on me in the jury box.
Despite serving three years as a juror, my nerves are triggered each time. I ask the defendant,
charged with possession of a controlled substance, why she began to use illegal drugs. Tears
cloud her eyes as she lowers her head in distress. Tightly holding her mother's hand, she explains
that she witnessed her boyfriend get shot in front of her home. As her mother elaborates, we get a
glimpse at how his death led to overwhelming loneliness and desperation. I ask about her
interests and relationships. She quietly talks about her family and school life, admitting that she
was pressured by her older brother's friends to use drugs. Knowing she wants to work with
children, and as head of jury, I recommend that she volunteer with children at a hospital or sports
league.
I approach every Teen Court case with clear eyes, an open heart, and a desire to
understand each defendant's background. This program, which takes a rehabilitative approach to
redirect defendants rather than punish them, has cultivated my interest in the legal field, where I
plan to pursue criminal justice as a professional. I am reminded of Teen Court's influence when I
see the defendants return as jurors to fulfill their community service duties and serve a program
that has shown them empathy. Serving as a juror has converted me into a strong believer of
second chances; these first-time offenders were often peer-pressured or misguided. As a fellow
teenager, I understand the struggle to find a purpose and the inevitable mistakes that follow.
The criminal justice system beckons me because of its direct and powerful impact on
people's lives. To further pursue this calling, I interned for the past two summers at McGregor
Law Corp, a criminal defense law firm. Whether compiling mitigation packets to District
Attorneys or writing letters of declaration and motions to court judges, I applied my skills from
Teen Court to emphasize each defendant's humanity while pleading the strengths of their case.
F or me, cases became more than faxes, scans, and files; I started to match faces to files
during attorney-client interviews. In one case, a middle-aged man was trapped in a toxic cycle of
drugs that led him to j ail multiple times and served as the root cause of several charges of
robbery. Having learned about the correlation between drug abuse and crime, I advocated for a
rehabilitation approach to his case to end the dangerous cycle of drug use and illegal activity. As
I saw with many drug-related cases, I knew that criminalizing his addiction could diminish any
hope for a healthy, law-abiding life. Alongside my supervising attorneys, I helped guide people
through the criminal justice system by redirecting away from incarceration.
To gain a firmer understanding of our legal system, I also completed a course in Criminal
Law at El Camino College, where I analyzed fundamental constitutional rights; legal
representation in court and presumption of innocence serve as the foundation for an attorney's
legal duties. Therefore, I have realized the importance of making the crucial distinction between
the facts of the case and an individual's bias when judging to ensure a fair court decision.
Whether I am discussing a case in the jury deliberation room or writing legal work as an intern, I
know that I have a hand in achieving fairness. I recognize my influence on a client's future, a
responsibility that has challenged my open-mindedness and deepened my patience while
questioning my understanding of the law.
I intend to understand the world with an egalitarian mindset and seek a profession that
gives me the platform to advocate for it. I hope to change the broken criminal justice system
alongside passionate scholars who have the best interests of the public. I will do my part in
fighting for those whose humanity is overlooked.
pYl>rtpt
Soleil Engin -- Personal Statement
tJ-
I used to wonder what it would be like to see stillness for just one moment, to see the world
the way everyone else does, through two stationary lenses. I think the wondering stopped when I
accepted my shaking world, one in which my eyes would never be focused on my surroundings
and the only dear pictures I could perceive were internal.
I was born with a visual condition called nystagmus that causes my eyes to incessantly and
involuntarily tremble. I have spent a good portion of my life learning that some skills others
acquire quickly are simply not meant to be mine. One season of recreational soccer taught me
that I was definitely not destined for athletic success. I spent the majority of my time on the field
playing extreme dodgeball instead of soccer. Since my eyes could not focus on the moving ball,
my immediate goal changed from achieving victory to simply avoiding impact. Most recently, I
have watched my friends enjoy the age old right of passage and the independence that comes
with a driver's license, knowing that I will never possess my own, I will never live in their
world. In all honesty, I don't want to.
My visual condition is a part of who I am, not a disability. I first started navigating my world
when I was seven, when I picked up a guitar for the first time. I heard the notes and could barely
believe I was the one creating them. I taught myselfby ear, hearing the notes and finding them
on the guitar neck, like piecing a puzzle together. Considering that I could not read the notes on a
music stand just a few feet away, this was the best way, the only way, for me to learn. Music
helped me find beauty in my world without seeing any of it. I will continue to see the world
around me through sound, not sight. I will continue to paint my own picture through my music
to show others the world as I see it, as shaky as my lens may be.
Years later, I started doing yoga and learned how to look within, quite literally with my eyes
closed. I discovered many things there: strength, hope, happiness, and, most importantly,
gratitude because without nystagmus, I never would have developed the deep sense of selfawareness I have today.
Every yoga class ends with "savasana," a Sanskrit term that translates to "corpse pose" in
English. Despite the morbid name, savasana is intended to leave the yogi in a state of rebirth,
allowing them to absorb the benefits of the practice and enter their life with a new sense of
clarity. For me, savasana is a place where I find relief from a world that is never clear. When I
lie on my mat with my eyes closed, I can feel my world stop moving. 1 can feel stillness and
almost see it too. It is during savasana that I have learned much about myself and my visual
condition. If I can feel fulfilled literally with my eyes closed, there is no reason I should not feel
content when they are open.
At a young age, I learned how to practice self-care and mindfulness, to pay attention to my
thoughts and only embrace those that are true. The truth is, my sight is significantly substandard,
my life will never be like other peoples', but I am solely responsible for learning how to navigate
my world and my future with my condition. By looking inward instead of focusing on the details
of the world around me, I have learned that there is nothing wrong with being unable to see like
others. Despite the never ending motion, my world is peaceful. Within it, I can hear the sound of
my guitar and feel my yoga mat underneath my feet and that is a beautiful thing.
fY\l()W~
Personal Statement
# i1-
Ben Tait
While the birds were chirping intermittently around me and I could hear the nearby
people's laughter rise and fall with conversation, there was one sound that stood out from the
rest. This thing, whatever it was, had a sound that was strong and persevering; whether it was
surrounded by cacophony or silence, it never failed to ring out, never skipping a beat. The
source of the sound itself was a marvel to behold, with the deepest inner parts on display for
the whole world to see. I began to move closer, my curiosity unable and unwilling to deny the
object's calls for attention ..
"You haven't seen the inside of a clock tower before have YOU," my dad said as he
walked up next to me. I mumbled "No" as I continued to circle the base of the Stanford Clock
Tower, fascinated by the sight of all the gears, levers, and wires that made up the 117-year-old
contraption. White the jumble of cogs and rods appeared to move by magic, I knew that there
had to be a logical explanation for how the device worked - things don't move without a
reason, I reminded myself - a lesson learned the hard way in my physics class. As the weights
were pulled down, gravitational energy was transformed into rotational energy - that seemed
simple enough - yet that idea explained only three out of the forty-plus gears, cranks, and cams
in front of us. The complexity, however, wasn't reason to quit, but instead became a
challenging problem that begged to be solved. I knew that I wasn't leaving until I figured out
what made that clock tick!
I was determined because I had faced tasks like this many times. In the chemistry lab,
with an array of chemicals on the table in front of me and vial with an unknown solute, I was
given one simple instruction: "Figure it out." I didn't need guesswork, magic, or the power of
google; instead alii needed was one of the most basic concepts in science - the scientific
method. Using theoretical knowledge and observations I made hypotheses and predictions and
then tested them against the real-world data. For the clock} the approach was no different.
Based on the rotations, shapes, and intersections of the many gears and other pieces, I
formulated my own theories as to how the parts worked together. When the minute hand hit
quarter-to, the chimes rang out and the mechanism whirled to life, moving just as I had
predicted.
The clock tower was something that I could have easily walked by without a second
thought. Instead, my curiosity led to a captivating and stimulating exploration of the math and
physics involved and the process of learning through discovery. Taking the time to ask even a
single question can open the door to an entirely new path of things to explore and discoveries
to be made. One day my physics teacher mentioned how there was a complex variation of the
problem that we shouldn't attempt because weld get "bogged down" In the calculus. Instead of
shying away, ! approached him immediately after class. The solution he explained was a
fascinating formula involving complex forces and vector calculus, something that only asking
could reveal.
As I heard the bells ring and watched the gears spin, I could now see the clock for what
it really was - a finely tuned machine, with every cam, rod, nut, and bolt doing its part to make
the clock tick. Despite having been overlooked by so many, the clock was a puzzle that
beckoned to me, that I couldn't resist, and taking the time to embrace its challenge led to an
exciting and unforgettable
experience. For any problem that calls out to be solved, I know my
insatiable curiosity will lead me to the answer.
*'tt-
fr\ff\V t
Conor Kelly - Personal Statement
The ocean terrified me for years. A bit ironic, considering I grew up five minutes away
from it. Sharks? Rip Currents? Waves? None of it was for me. Or so I thought. Of course, I'd
learned how to swim, but a pool was a very different environment from the lawless ocean. Also,
it didn't help that my mom, despite being born and raised in Ireland, an island surrounded by the
ocean, had engraved warnings of rip currents and drowning into my brain. While my friends
were out surfing, I was sitting on the beach, watch\ng wave after wave
ron In, wondering
how
they weren't scared. Did the waves not terrify them? Did they not jump every time a piece of
seaweed brushed past their legs? I was lost
Though, inch by inch, I waded out. Knee high became waist high, waist high became
chest high, and, eventually. my feet couldn't touch the sandy bottom. Each step was pure fear. I
thought I was just inching closer to a rip current that would sweep me out to sea. Surprising\y,
over time, my confidence grew. I no longer ran from the waves, but dove into them. J wasn't left
on the beach, staring in jealousy, I was now part of the action. looking back, t just needed to
take the plunge, to step out and see for myself. ! realized that I couldn't let my life be ruled by
fear, that there were so many opportunities available to me if I just stepped a little of my comfort
zone, if I stopped running from the waves.
As my skin became tanner and my appreciation of the ocean grew deeper, I began to
notice the trash that lay along the shoreline. f knew that I couldn't let my new home be treated
like a landfill, so I began to take action. Cleaning up the beach became my mission, and I
became part of beach cleanups, With every cigarette butt or plastic bag picked up, each piece
of cardboard dragged out of the water, I fett a sense of accomplishment. With each piece of
trash removed, I built a paradise full of friends, food, and sunscreen, though, cleaning up LA's
miles of coastline is a task too big for just one sunburnt teenager. A couple of classmates and 1
took our concerns to the city. After workshopping a few ideas, making some posters, and polling
Conor Kelly - Personal Statement
the neighborhood,
we came up with a plan to reduce the amount of cigarette butts that canbe
found strewn about the beach and pier. As I sat in City Hall, staring at the panel of city council
members, with the mayor at the head, the same fear and panic from my childhood built up in
me. I had never spoken in front of such a distinguished group of people before. Yet, I knew alii
needed to do was take the first step, so I walked down to the podium and delivered my speech.
One city councu meeting tater, we got the CIty to sponsor a project for modem cigarette butt
receptacles which have proven to reduce cigarette butt pollution,
This was one of the biggest accomplishments of my life, and I can now look upon my
local spot with pride as I've done my best to preserve it. In a major metropolitan area such as
los Angeles, there are few places anyone can escape the traffic and noise, yet we're destroying
the only peaceful places we have left. For years, we've poUuted our oceans and our beaches,
with no regard for our local ecosystem. Now is the time for action. We must dive into change
without fear and without running from our duty to be eco-consclous and protect our oceans, and
our future.
fPlvY'
Chance Thurman - Personal Statement
it- b
I remember being confused and scared. Why was she acting like that? Why did
she keep making strange noises? Every time she came over, there was a roller coaster
of commotion; the house was loud with everyone who was trying to speak over her
humming sounds, "mmm-mmm-mmm." I would escape to the garage and put on my
grandpa's earmuffs to drown out the noise. When I was younger, I was afraid to be
around my aunt, who suffered from epilepsy and severe brain damage caused by
encephalitis in her youth.
I dreaded going to my grandparents' house when I knew Aunt Erika would be
there. The problem was, I never understood her condition, but I began to grasp the
severity of it as I grew older. I did not know why she always fiddled with children's toys
in her hands or sat there expressionless, humm ing and looking pale and young like a
baby, despite being in her early 40s. Driving her anywhere or simply getting her to move
from one chair to another was a mission for my mom and grandma.
As I started to grow older, I began to feel more comfortable with Aunt Erika and I
retired the old earmuffs. Under my mom's wing, I began to enjoy getting to know her.
Sitting with her on the couch, her arms wrapped around one of mine and my other arm
holding her favorite drink, a McDonald's chocolate shake, I got to know and understand
her better, I teamed that her humming sounds were just her way of communicating and
showing her love for the family (and sometimes McDonald's). What I took to be my
scary, loud aunt, turned out to be one of the sweetest people I have ever known.
My aunt taught me at a young age to be accepting of everyone and have
empathy for all people because you never know their story. At school and in my
community, I began to show more affection to my peers who are typically not as popular
or get made fun of. Helping people who are "outcasts," and being a friend to them
empowered me at a young age and I continue to do so today.
In the summer between my junior and senior year, I was hired to work at Trader
Joe's. The store, in a popular plaza full of restaurants and local businesses, is always
crowded with people, and after working there several times a week for about half a year,
I started to get to know many of our "reqular' customers. In front of the store, in the
midst of all the higher class customers, sometimes trying to start conversations, but
usually disregarded, sits a local homeless lady that I see every day at work. Unlike most
homeless people in the neighborhood, she looks like an ordinary person except for her
sunburned face and old clothing. I decided to talk to her and I immediately began to
learn all about her: from her name to her favorite book to her political beliefs. Now every
time I see her, she excitedly asks me about baseball and school. All it took was for me
to get to know her and I realized that she is no different from anyone else on the inside.
My experiences with my Aunt Erika encouraged me to interact with others and
care for ali of my peers, just like I learned with her. I do not take for granted that I can do
well in school, play sports, laugh, talk, and experience all aspects of life. It drives me
today, and will drive me in college and in the future to achieve as much as I am able
while always doing the most I can to raise others up, regardless of their appearance.
Anne Koutures- personal~~~~mtl
~
Excitement rushed over me as I held the letter that had finally come in the mail. It was
from Columbia University, notifying me that I had been selected to participate in the
. neuroscience course at their summer immersion program. This letter held a great significance; I
could now travel to another part of our country, while pursuing my love for science. The days
between receiving the letter of acceptance and taking off on a plane to New York City could not
go by fast enough.
Dragging my suitcase into my dorm at Hartley hall, I began my journey of evolvement.
On the first day of class, I instantly enamored my coursework. Over the next three weeks, I was
going to gain expertise and hands-on work experience in a field of study that I aspired to turn
into my career. Brain dissections, museum exhibits, research on neurological disorders, and
neuro communication: it was everything I had fantasized about. Unanticipated in these fantasies,
however, was the human experience and self -revelation attached to this opportunity.
As time in the program progressed, I had a flourishing love for not only my work, but for
the people that surrounded me. My glimpse into neurology was likewise a glimpse into life
throughout the world. I got the privilege of connecting with students from China, Spain,
Portugal, India, and more. Getting to know them meant getting to know their culture and stories.
Being inside the city of New York would soon feel like a trip around the world.
Spain became the first of many places I gained insight on. My dissection partner did not
hesitate to talk about his life while we labeled parts of a sheep brain. Running from the cops was
no rare occasion in Madrid, later evidenced by his instinct to avoid the NYPD. Even when
Anne Koutures- Personal Statement
innocent, he could not risk getting in trouble and leaving behind his sick mother. Caring for her
inspired him to care for others. He wanted to be a doctor, and this was his story.
From Spain to China my knowledge would grow, when I met a girl from Hong Kong. We
began talking about our classes, and I raved about how interesting my research on Dissociative
Identity Disorder was. Having been surrounded by science her whole life, she took great interest
in the topic; consequently, I was surprised to hear that she was studying Globalization. She
explained her high familial standards and strict precedent of professionalizing in medicine. This
was not her desire, however, which brought her to New York to study her passions in politics.
She needed to pursue her independent dreams, and this was her story.
Despite our different origins, we realized our similarities during our trip to New York.
Here we would learn from our classes and from the city. Across the street from Columbia resided
a homeless man. My new friends and I began bringing him food from the dining hall or from
nearby restaurants each day. His face constantly lit up with gratitude, and he explained that he
had quit his job to care for his sick brother who passed away. He had sacrificed himself for
someone else, and this was his story.
Hearing the stories of others brought me to revelations of myself. I had dreamed of going
into medicine to help those in need; hardships in my life inspired me, and implemented immense
compassion into my persona. I had always, however, felt that being a doctor was not enough.
Columbia's summer immersion program showed me that I would not be content until I could
help people from all places and backgrounds. Studying neurology, while embracing the human
experience, ensured me that neuroscience is the path I need to take. Through research and trips
Life Through a Lens - Ryan Cartee
4& (Q
f; rYl~
Christmas 2008. The beginning of everything.
Under the tree was a Flip Video Camera. I was ecstatic, pressing the record button before
it was even out of its box. I spent that whole morning filming my very first movie "Who
Kidnapped Santa?" starring the collection of reindeer and elf stuffed animals we kept out during
the holidays. Soon after that, my free time was occupied with creating stop motion music videos,
filming myself being silly around my house, and forcing my family to play different roles in my
movies. The movies I was making at ages 8, 9 and 10 were definitely not a cinematic
masterpiece, but I knew that I liked being able to document my life.
By the time I was 12, I was exploring different realms of photography and filmmaking.
Whether it was practicing long exposure photography in my backyard, or stringing together clips
I took on a family vacation, having a camera in my hand always felt so natural.
Different people in my community eventually asked me to shoot birthday parties,
Christmas cards, bar mitzvahs, you name it. As I gained more confidence, I turned to using
Instagram as a platform to showcase my work. My online persona of @daydreamerrrss became
my creative portal, allowing me to put my art out into the universe to share with others.
It seemed like every week I was posting pictures from photoshoots or video montages of
my friends. I had gained a large following from the kids at my school and even from people
across the globe. I had no idea where my social media "fame" was going to take me, but little did
I know it would spark an opportunity I couldn't pass up.
The Hermosa Beach Sunscreen Film Festival Mentorship Program ended up contacting
me to direct a music video based off my work they saw online. Like any nervous and shy 14 year
old, I had no idea what to expect. This was the first project I worked on that required me to
collaborate with others and take charge, which was new for me since I was used to being
independent with my creative work. I was afraid I lacked skill and was going to somehow mess
everything up, but after directing a crew, I eventually felt comfortable with expressing
my
creative vision. Even if it meant having to sit on top of a car in the middle of the street or cruise
down the strand using a skateboard as a homemade dolly to get the shot I wanted.
A year and a half later, the mentorship program reached out to me again asking if I
wanted to help put together a documentary about the history of music in Hermosa Beach; I
immediately accepted. With assistance from a USC film student and a Fox Sports editor, I took
on the role of being the main editor of the project - later realizing it was a much bigger
responsibility than I thought. We pulled countless all-nighters on the weekends and during the
school week to edit I lived off of coffee and barely managed to keep my eyes open during class
the next day. But it was the most alive I had ever felt in my entire life. To finally see 8 months of
hard work squeezed into a 35 minute documentary with over 500 people in a theater all cheering
and smiling, made every second worth it.
I believe that humans are products of their experiences. I remember being a shy 14 year
old not aware of her true potentiaL Now, 1 am 17, and am not afraid to strengthen my creative
abilities, even if it involves getting out of my comfort zone. Life is unpredictable and everything
is constantly changing, but the one thing that will always remain constant is my passion and
drive to learn and grow through each experience I encounter.