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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
The Magic of Bullet
Writing
(Writing Concepts)
ERIC R. JAREN
Chief Master Sergeant (retired)
United States Air Force
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
“It is much more difficult to measure
nonperformance than performance”
~ Harold S. Geneen
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Overview
Bullet Formats
Performance Levels
Performance Scale
Top 10 Writing Tips
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Bullet Formats
Learn components used to create a bullet
Action; Impact--Result (AIR)
• Commonly used in the Air Force today
Accomplishment--Impact (AI)
• Published in Air Force Handbook 33-337, The
Tongue and Quill, Air Force guide to writing
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Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Action; Impact--Result (AIR):
Action: Individual’s performance (clearly communicated)
Impact: How the task connects to the result
Result: Tied to the tactical, operational or strategic picture
Must have at least two of three components. However, at least
one component must include “Action.” Without “Action” the
individual’s specific contribution is unknown.
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
AIR Format
- Changed aircraft tire;
Action
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
AIR Format
- Changed aircraft tire; aircraft serviceable
Action
Impact
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
AIR Format
- Changed aircraft tire; aircraft serviceable--met mission capability rate
Action
Impact
Result
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Accomplishment--Impact (AI):
Accomplishment: person’s action or behavior
Impact: results expressly stated or implied
The two part-bullet is comprised of virtually the same elements
as the three part bullet. Similar to AIR format, without “Action”
the individual’s specific contribution is unknown.
 Virtually the same elements as the three part bullet
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Bullet Format Takeaway
Read the bullet and identify the components:
•
•
•
•
•
Action-Impact-Result
Accomplishment-Impact
Action-Impact-Impact
Action-Action-Result
Etc.
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Performance Levels
Learn how to recognize Performance Levels
Leadership-level
Management-level
Supervisory-level
Membership-level
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Membership-level
 Effort is tactical, normally considered basic apprentice level
tasks needed in every organization
 Job Performance: help, assist, participate, support; task level
efforts (perform maintenance, data input/processing, etc.),
recognition
 Self Improvement: short educational/training opportunity,
building block of larger accomplishment (College class, short
course, CLEP, etc.)
 Base/Community Involvement: help, assist, participate,
support, participated in ceremony, etc. (set up tables at
banquet, ran booth/washed cars at fundraiser, etc.)
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Supervisory-level




Effort is tactical/operational in nature, performance normally
considered a journeyman contribution
Job Performance: supervise, lead, take charge, etc.,
(supervised small team, small program, etc.); mid level
recognition
Self Improvement: education/training milestone towards
larger accomplishment (Several college classes, long course
(A&P, LVN), short residence courses, Associates Degree, etc.)
Base/Community Involvement: supervise, lead, take charge,
etc.; performed during ceremony (Supervised sub-committee;
organized fundraiser, etc.)
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Management-level
 Effort is operational in nature, performance normally
considered a Craftsman level contribution
 Job Performance: organize, direct, manage greater scope, etc.
(manage large team, multiple teams, large program, multiple
programs); high level recognition
 Self Improvement: completed significant educational, training
goal; long in residence courses, Distinguished Graduate,
Honor Graduate, Bachelors Degree, etc.)
 Base/Community Involvement: organize, direct, manage greater
scope (manage large team, multiple teams, large program,
multiple programs, large committee, multiple committees)
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Leadership-level




Effort is strategic in nature, performance normally expected
from a senior leader
Job Performance: plan, direct, oversee broad, vast personnel,
etc. (oversee large team/teams, responsibility for high dollar
programs with a “B”); high level recognition
Self Improvement: finish higher level educational; long in
residence courses (Academic Achievement, Academic
Honors for Graduate programs, Masters Degree, etc.)
Base/Community Involvement: elected leader, plan, direct,
oversee vast personnel, etc. (chairperson for significant
event, multiple committees, etc.)
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
 One more level called “Fluff” -- nothing tangible and
the words are wasted space
Leadership-level
Management-level
Supervisory-level
Membership-level
Fluff
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Performance Levels Takeaway
Assess bullet format and consider the Level of
Performance that corresponds to the
accomplishment:
•
•
•
•
•
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Performance Scale
Combine Bullet Format and Performance levels to
illustrate strengths and weaknesses
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
AIR Example 1
- Changed aircraft tire; completed within job standard--returned to service
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership Changed acft tire; within job standard--returned to service
Fluff
______________________________________________________
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Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
AIR Example 2
- Led landing gear change; completed in 1/2 job standard--12 ship exercise
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory Led landing gear change; 1/2 normal time--12 ship exercise
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
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Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
AIR Example 3
- LEAN’d training; cut 10 steps/20 mins each--benchmarked for 10K Amn
Action
Result
Impact
______________________________________________________
Leadership
--benchmarked for 10K Amn
Management
cut 10 steps/20 mins each Supervisory LEAN’d training;
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Performance Scale Takeaway
• Identify the Bullet Format and components
• Assign a Performance Level to each component
• Summarize the overall Level of Performance for
the entire bullet with one performance level
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
“Two” Levels Concept
- Changed aircraft tire; 1/2 normal time--returned to service
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
“Two” Levels Concept
- Changed aircraft tire; 1/2 normal time--returned to service
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Top 10 Writing Tips
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#1 The “TOS Concept”
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #1 – Tactical, Operational, Strategic (TOS)
Concept
Strategic
Operational
Tactical
 Illustrates smooth and logical connectivity
 Highlights when results are “A bridge too far”
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #1 – TOS Concept
- Changed aircraft tire; 1/2 normal time--returned aircraft to service
Tactical Tactical Tactical
 Logical connection; action, impact and results are clear
and understandable
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #1 – TOS Concept
- Led landing gear change; completed in 1/2 job standard--12 ship exercise
Operational
Tactical Tactical
 Logical connection; action, impact tie to the operation
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #1 – TOS Concept
-- LEAN’d training; cut 10 steps/20 mins each--benchmarked for 10K Amn
Strategic
Operational
Tactical
Strong results that connect to the individual
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #1 – TOS Concept
- Replaced rivets on cargo door; $2B C5A fleet routed 100 tons cargo
Strategic
Tactical Tactical
Action does not connect to strategic results
The TOS model helps see through “farfetched” bullets.
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#2 The “Iceberg Model”
Writing Trap
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #2 – Iceberg Model
 Illustrates imbalanced writing; most common writing flaw
caused by weak description of the action component
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #2 – Iceberg Model
 BCA = Business Case Analysis
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
 BCA = Business Case Analysis
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Prepped is ambiguous
and offers little value
to demonstrate true
competency
Prepped could mean:
1. Build Slides
2. Coortinate SSS
3. Review materials
for someone
important
 Illustrates imbalanced writing; most common writing flaw
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Prepped included:
1. Led Monthly
meetings
2. Negotiated with
Stakeholders
3. Conducted Risk
Analysis
4. Developed 3 COAs
5. Year Long Project
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Wow, now that
sounds like
“Leadership level”
competency
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#3 The “Faulty Lead In”
Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #3 – Faulty Lead In
- Hard Charger! Completed 12 CBTs--100% compliant with mobility training
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #3 – Faulty Lead In
- Hard Charger! Completed 12 CBTs--100% compliant with mobility training
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Completed 12 CBTs--100% compliant with mobility
Fluff
- Hard Charger!
______________________________________________________
Not even going there regarding CBTs. If you start the bullet off at
membership level you already have yourself in a hole to dig out.
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#4 The “Led Effort”
Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #4 – The “Led Effort” Writing Trap
- Led effort culminating in unit winning Air Force Outstanding Unit Award
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #4 – The “Led Effort” Writing Trap
- Led effort culminating in unit winning Air Force Outstanding Unit Award
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
winning Air Force Outstanding Unit Award
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Strategic
Fluff
Led effort culminating in unit
______________________________________________________
What effort? Need we say more?
Tactical Tactical
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#5 The “Job Description”
Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #5 – The “Job Description” Writing Trap
- Top 3 President; inspirational leader catalyst to increased involvement
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
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Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #5 – The “Job Description” Writing Trap
- Top 3 President; inspirational leader catalyst to increased involvement
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership Top 3 President;
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
inspirational leader catalyst to increased involvement
______________________________________________________
Top 3 Pres, but no management and leadership competencies recorded.
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#6 The “Too Many
Acronyms” Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #6 – “Too Many Acronyms” Writing Trap
- C5B SME; t/s elusive slat W/U; R2d #7B act <2 hrs--O/T real world msn
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #6 – “Too Many Acronyms” Writing Trap
- C5B SME; t/s elusive slat W/U; R2d #7B act <2 hrs--O/T real world msn
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
C5B SME; t/s slat W/U; R2d #7B act <2 hrs--O/T real world msn
______________________________________________________
Oh stop it! SFS and MXG especially!
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#7 The “Lack of
Homework”
Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #7 – “Lack of Homework” Writing Trap
- LEAN-minded; process-mapped tool crib--tool issue more efficient
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #7 – “Lack of Homework” Writing Trap
- LEAN-minded; process-mapped tool crib--tool issue more efficient
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
process-mapped tool crib
Membership
Fluff
LEAN-minded
tool issue more efficient
______________________________________________________
Should have captured reduced steps, time, and money…writer gave up!
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#8 The “Death Bullet”
Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #8 – “Death Bullet” Writing Trap
- Hard-charging attitude ensured “Outstanding” during UCI inspection
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #8 – “Death Bullet” Writing Trap
- Hard-charging attitude ensured “Outstanding” during UCI inspection
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
“Outstanding” during UCI inspection
Management
- Strategic
Supervisory
Membership
Tactical Tactical
Fluff
Hard-charging attitude ensured
______________________________________________________
Thanks for being there. Big inspections, exercises, unit awards,
combined with ambiguous language describing performance.
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#9 The “Know Your
Audience” Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #9 – “Know Your Audience” Writing Trap
- Awarded LVN License! Passed requisite training and examinations
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management
Supervisory Awarded LVN License!
Membership
Passed requisite training and examinations
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Writing Trap #9 – “Know Your Audience” Writing Trap
- Awarded 2-year LVN License; 98% on oral/written/practical board exams
Action
Impact
Result
______________________________________________________
Leadership
Management Awarded 2-year LVN License; 98% on oral/written/practical
Supervisory
Membership
Fluff
______________________________________________________
Do not omit critical information. Medical field may know the requirements
but pertinent details should be included for external readers.
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
#10 The “Who's Your
Audience” Writing Trap
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Who are you writing to?
• BONUS: Most important writing lesson!
• At the end of the next hour
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Chief Jaren’s
Brown Bag Lessons (Part II)
Summary
Bullet Formats
Performance Levels
Performance Scale
Top 10 Writing Tips
Membership – Supervisory – Management – Leadership
Copyright © 2012 by Eric R. Jaren