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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
Little Timmy Jokes
One day,little Timmy was at school and
heard the word “shit”.
He went home and asked his dad for the
definition and he promptly told him “coats
and jackets”.
Timmy went to school the next day and
heard the word “fucking”, and for a second
time, asked his father what it meant.
His father promptly said “cooking”.
Then,he returned to school the third day
and heard the words “bitches and hoes”.
He went home and his father told him it
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
meant “grandpa and grandma”.
Later,on Thanksgiving night,his
grandparents came over.
Timmy answered the door with glee and
says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your
shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen
fucking the turkey!"
A grade school teacher was asking
students what their parents did for a living.
Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a
doctor!"
Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a
professor!"
Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is
a piano player in a whorehouse!"
The teacher couldn't believe what she's
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
had just heard, so she made a point of
calling Little Johnny's father that evening to
discuss the situation.
Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually,
I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed
to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
One day Little Timmy caught his mom and
dad having sex.
Little Timmy asks his dad "Can I join you?"
His dad asks "Can your dick touch your
ass?"
Timmy replies "No."
"Then no." Dad replies.
Later on he catches his dad looking at
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
porn.
Timmy asks "Can I look with you Daddy?"
His dad asks again "Can your dick touch
your ass?"
"No."
"Then no."
Later that night Little Timmy is eating
cookies.
His dad walks into the kitchen and asks
"Can I have a cookie?"
Timmy asks "Can your dick touch your
ass?"
His dad replies "Yes."
"Then go fuck yourself these cookies are
mine!"
23 ratings
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
1 saves
Joke: Little Timmy is walking home from
the park and pulling his little red wagon up
a hill. As he is getting tired he says "Damn.
Fuck this shit."
A nun from the church nearby tells him
"Little Timmy! You shouldn't swear like that.
God is everywhere and always watching
you."
"So he is up in the clouds and in the
church?" asks little Timmy.
"Exactly," replied the nun.
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
Timmy asks "And in my wagon?"
The nun replies "Yes child."
Timmy is suddenly enraged "Well tell him to
get his lazy ass out and push!"
Joke: One night Little Johnny was really
scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he
sprints out of his tent and runs to his
teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please
sleep with you tonight ?". His teacher
replies "NO" Johnny moans and says "But
my mummy lets me". "OK then, just for
tonight" the teacher replies. Johnny jumps
into bed with her and asks "Miss can I
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
please play with your belly button with my
finger". She again says "NO". "But my
mummy lets me" says Johnny again. "Well I
suppose it's OK" replies the teacher. Things
are silent for a few minutes until the
teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT
MY BELLY BUTTON" Little Johnny replies
"It aint my finger either".
Joke: Little Timmy catches his parents
having sex and his mom takes him back to
his room. Timmy asks "Mommy, why were
you bouncing on Daddy's stomach like
that?"
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Little Timmy stories - Google Docs
She replies "Well... If I don't do that Daddy
would get very fat."
Timmy laughs and his mother asks "What's
so funny?"
Still giggling he says "That's not going to
work, every time you're gone the babysitter
just blows him back up."
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat
at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my
daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat
that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school
today!'"
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