One of the all-time bestselling books on negotiation is Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury.
Millions of people have purchased and read this masterpiece for its tremendous insights and academic
perspective on deal-making. Unfortunately, there’s one major problem with this classic title: It didn’t
work.
As a negotiation speaker, consultant, author, and educator with more than 20 years of experience, I
agree with many of the powerful bargaining strategies in Getting to Yes. At the time of its 1981
publication, it provided groundbreaking ideas on cooperative problem solving and originated the
concept of entering negotiations with a BATNA: best alternative to a negotiated agreement.
Yet, no matter how many people read the book with highlighters in hand, it failed to change how we
approach deal making. Its approach neither improved the bad negotiation tendencies that we use with
our co-workers, family, and friends, nor did it succeed in changing the executive mindset. From the NBA
and NHL lockouts to the fiscal cliff and debt ceiling debacles, these negotiations made even the most
tranquil onlookers want to rip their hair out.
While collaboration is something we all say we desire, we end up in combative negotiations time and
time again. Our winning philosophy comes at the expense of the other person. This is exactly the
opposite of the mutual-gain approach that Getting to Yes preaches.
Clearly, there has been a breakdown. Why is it that everyone has read and endorsed this bestselling
business book as one of the greatest negotiation texts ever written, yet so few actually follow it?
One of our biggest problems is a lack of trust in other people. For 20 years, Professor Karen Walch at
Thunderbird School of Global Management has conducted an ongoing negotiation study among her
global students, asking them to answer questions regarding how cooperative and trusting they are
personally, and how they feel about their counterparts.
“What we’ve generally found so far is that 40% of people tend to believe that they are cooperative and
trusting,” says Professor Walch. “Yet, when asked about the counterpart, people tend to believe that
the other party is just looking to win. It’s this type of mentality that causes negotiators to take a
defensive strategy, which often leaves a lot of value left on the table.” Low trust makes collaboration
impossible!
Compounding this problem is the fact that people are irrational. We tend over value how much we like
or dislike the person we’re negotiating with, rather than objectively looking at the deal. As Noble Prizewinning psychologist Daniel Kahneman proved, our decision-making is largely guided by emotions and
intuition.
The final nail in the coffin is that most people simply don’t enjoy the negotiation process! One survey
from salary.com found that 87% of people are either sometimes or always apprehensive about salary
negotiations. They also found that 32% were fearful of negotiating and 18% find it inherently
unpleasant. From personal experience I’ve found that even 20% of the pros don’t take pleasure in
negotiations.
When you add this all together, we now have negotiations founded upon low trust, irrationality, and
displeasure. There is no negotiation book or training program, no matter how profound the ideas they
offer, that is going to fix those issues.
In order to make our negotiations more successful, we need to change our mentality. The key is not only
for you to act with openness, honesty, and collaboration, but to motivate and educate others on this
approach too. I’ve found that simply discussing the need for “the spirit of cooperation” is a game
changing way to open a negotiation and set the tone for profitable deal-making.
In fact, in my research at MarketWatch Centre for Negotiation, we’ve found that negotiators can claim
up to 42% more value in a deal by abandoning zero-sum games and creating a relationship based on
trust and collaboration. While this concept sounds easy, it makes serious demands on both parties.
Using what we call NegoEconomics™, negotiators put emphasis on value creation, which leads to more
mutually-beneficial solutions.
While having a solid grounding in negotiation techniques is important, the aspect that makes all the
difference is your mindset. So put down your book! In order to get to yes, it all starts with you!