NEVER BE AFRAID TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART…YOU
NEVER KNOW, IT JUST MIGHT LEAD YOU TO YOUR DREAM…
1
Under the heavy rain I kept walking forward as if the rain doesn’t matter at all, in
fact, I love it. Strong wind kept blowing in my face but I could care less, I was too
much deep in my own little world. People walking alongside the roads were hurrying
to get shelter and once in a while bounce against me but I made no comment. I bet
they think I’m crazy or something.
Suddenly someone grabs my hand, pissed and with the intention of saying to back
off to whoever disturbed my fantasies I opened my mouth only to gasp from
surprise. It was not just someone but the same one of whose thoughts was I so
engrossed in… my best friend, kai!
”Hanna????”He asked with surprise…” what the hell… you are soaking wet and
where’re you going?”
“Kai...um, I…uh wanted to see you”. Its kai…shoot! He is mad but something about
him seemed a little off. He’s been acting weird and distant lately.
“I have been calling you for three hours now and how many times have I told you
not to go out in the rain?” kai looked really angry and I tried to explain…
“…you know me, I…” I left my mobile at home and I tried to explain it but he
interrupted me.
“I should have known…I’ll take you home…geez Hanna, when are you going to stop
acting like a child and mind you, I’m not going to save you from auntie’s wrath this
time…you…”
He kept on babbling about me getting a cold and getting sick every time, he
knows all too well that I love rain but this time I didn’t exactly intended to do this.
I was just worried and wanted to see him.
“Hmph…like he cares” I thought to myself.
Kai and I have been best friends since high school and we understand each other
more than we understand ourselves. He had been there for me always, no matter
how I behave and I could be rather difficult sometimes but he’d never complained.
2
We share everything with each other despite of him, being a guy I am never
ashamed to say anything to him and it’s the same with him…at least that’s what I
think.
We reached my home within no time and mum, like kai said, was furious. She
started yelling how irresponsible I was and…
“Aunty, I’ll talk to her…I promise she won’t do it again, right…Hanna?”
“Hmph!” I just turned my head like a child.” There’s no way I’m agreeing to that,
what’s the problem with going out in the rain anyway… ah…Achoo!”
“That’s the problem…” both mom and kai said in unison.
“Kai, you spoil her too much and now look at you… go and dry up, you can stay the
night if you want. I’ll make you both something to eat…”mom said smiling at kai.
“Argh!”… I stomped off to my room and kai followed me. “Both of you always treat
me like a child, for god’s sake I’m already 20…and it’s not fair, mom always treats
you so nicely…”
I gave a towel and a change of clothes to kai which belonged to my brother who is
in UK and I took my own and went to bathroom to dry up myself. My dad died when
I was 3 so I don’t remember anything about him. It had always been mom and me
until I became friends with kai. Kai had no family of his own and he had stayed at
my place so many times you could say he is practically living in my home; he sleeps in
my brother’s room when he stays over. He does have his own apartment though.
When we went downstairs, mom had already gone to bed and she had prepared
supper for both of us. Through the whole time when we ate I didn’t say anything. I
could feel kai’s eyes on me the whole time.
While I was busy washing the dishes and cleaning the table, kai already went
upstairs. I know he’s still mad, we always fight over such trivial things but I wanted
to know what’s been bothering him more than anything. I sighed and went upstairs
while switching off the lights on my way.
3
When I went to my room kai was near the window, he was looking outside so I
couldn’t read his facial expression. I walked to the bed and I saw kai stiffen. I
knew he was aware of my presence. I was totally ready for whatever to come but
he didn’t say a word. The room was too silent and it was kind of creepy.
After what seemed like an eternity kai turned and faced me. His face was totally
expressionless. His beautiful green eyes were blank showing no emotion but his
eyebrows were a little knitted as if thinking really hard. Of course I knew this
face as well and he makes this face only when he’s really worried about something,
despite that he doesn’t seem less handsome. There was no smile… kai has always
been a cheerful person and there was no question to which he had no answers even
though it can be a little exaggerated at times.
To my surprise he heaved a long sigh, as if he had been working for hours and is too
tired to move anymore. He sat in front of me on my bed and took my hand in his.
I squeezed his hand a little, encouraging him to talk. Somehow I started getting a
bad feeling about all this, as if suddenly I didn’t want to know what he was going to
say.
“What’s wrong…? I squeaked, I didn’t know I was holding my breath until my chest
started to hurt.
Still he didn’t say anything and it was just too much… I took a long breath and I
knew I’ll start crying if he stayed like that for too long. Maybe I had done
something wrong, but how was I supposed to know if he kept silent like that and I
was determined not to give in tonight.
“If you are not going to tell me, I’m going to sleep” I was pissed. Why wasn’t he
talking? He knew I hated ignorant acts and silent treatment, especially from him. I
took my hand from him and lied down on the bed. I turned the other side so he
couldn’t see my face.
“Hanna..!” he whispered my name and I was surprised at the pain in his voice. But I
didn’t move an inch and pretended to ignore him.
4
“I …Hanna, I’m sorry! I’m leaving tomorrow. I got the scholarship in Australia… and
I don’t know if I’ll be back, I mean it’s just for 2 and a half years but I don’t really
have a place or person to come back…um, anyway I wanted to tell you so many times
and I came to know only yesterday too…” His voice strained but I was too shocked
to move.
What...he is leaving and he’s telling me now. Of course he told me about applying
for that stupid scholarship but I didn’t think he was serious about that. I mean
how can just simply leave… I didn’t know what to say and it was too sudden. Who am
I to stop him…isn’t that what he’s saying…? What does he expected me to say… all
I can think of saying is… don’t go!!! But then I would have to explain why… I would
have to tell him how much I love him, in fact how much I have been in love with him
all these years. Till now I didn’t say anything coz I thought I would lose him, if he
didn’t feel the same way as I do even our friendship wouldn’t last… kai, you big
idiot!!!
For a while…except for the sound of our breathing the room was in total silence…as
if helping me realize what it would be like without him.
“I don’t expect you to come to see me off but I hope you will…Hanna, I…I’m going
home. Take care, I’ll miss you.”
Slowly I got up and moved closer to him…I had a fake smile on my face and either
he didn’t realize it or just ignored it. I hugged him tightly biting my lips trying to
hold back the sobs…
“wow… congrats kai, that’s… really good news…but why so soon?” my voice was
shaking and I tried to hide it as much as I could.
“They said something about an orientation for which they need me to go as soon as
possible. I don’t expect you to come to see me off but I hope you will…Hanna, I… I
better head home, haven’t done the packing yet…
I…I’ll miss you.” He said hugging me again.
5
“I’ll miss you too and I’ll try to come to the airport. I can’t promise u though, coz
you are telling me now only and I won’t forgive you for that…” I stuck my tongue
out at him to show him that I was just joking.
He nodded, gave a slight peck on my cheeks and left…
How could he leave like this…I, what am I going to do? I love him so much and…
I let the tears burning in my eyes to fall freely…it hurt so much I felt like
screaming. My chest…it was so painful that it got to the point that I could hardly
breathe. I sobbed helplessly crying my eyes out and it was like my tear glands were
broken. I felt someone next to me and when I turned I saw mom looking at me with
a worried expression. It was hard enough as it was but when she hugged me I lost
control. I have never cried in front of my mom but that night I cried until I fell
asleep from exhaustion.
When I woke up, mom wasn’t there… she must have gone to her room when I fell
asleep…when I looked at the time it was already 1pm. I could smell food from
downstairs, she must be preparing lunch and I was starving. I felt tired despite of
being asleep for a long time and I could still feel the ache in my chest which will
probably never fade.
I took a shower and got dressed taking my own time… …I examined myself a little,
short (5.2ft) figure with hardly any curves, pale white skin, shoulder length
straight black hair…heart shaped face…muddy- brown eyes which were puffy and
red from crying, straight nose, lips…pink and too full…
I sighed thinking that there was nothing I could do about it. I’m not beautiful but
I’m not that bad either…I thought to myself…yeah right! Who am I kidding
anyway...? I sighed again which seemed to have become a habit and went
downstairs.
Mom looked up from the table when she heard me come down, she looked really
worried. I must have freaked her out last night, suddenly crying like that and I
wonder if she knew the reason. Mom adores kai and I know she’ll be sad too if she
knew.
6
“Are you ok…honey? I have prepared your favorite dish. Come here, I’ve been
waiting for you.” I knew she was trying to cheer me up, so I forced a smile.
I went and sat next to her…we started eating. Even though I was starving I had no
appetite.
I looked up when I heard mom sigh.
“Kai told me about his leaving town, yesterday but he said he’ll tell you himself
and…look, Hanna, I know you love him and I think he feels the same way too. He
must not have told you because he wouldn’t want you to wait for him. Are you just
going to let him go without letting him know of your feelings? If you tell him, he’ll
have a reason to come back and you won’t have any regrets either. You can’t live
your whole life thinking what if…and you have nothing to lose by saying it now but if
you don’t say anything you might lose him for forever. You don’t have much time…
he’s leaving within 3 hours. He called a while ago”
I was crying again but I knew she was right. It was now or never and I could wait
for him as long as he wants if he loves me as much I love him. I grabbed the car
keys, hugged mom and left in a hurry.
I reached fairly early at the airport. He was outside, waiting for me and when he
saw me running towards him he came and hugged me tightly.
“I thought u will never come… Hanna, I have to tell you something…I…”
“I love you kai…I have been in love with you this whole time and I will wait for you
till you come back, so…come back soon ok.” I said everything in one breath and
looked at his face with a huge smile.
He was utterly shocked but not for long…he grabbed my face and crushed his lips
on mine kissing me hard. I was totally not expecting that but I placed my arms
around his neck and returned his kiss. His kiss was enough to let me know that he
feels the same way. It was a kiss filled with love and promise.
Damn, he was a good kisser; I thought when he let go of me.
7
He smiled at me gently. Gosh, he had the most breathtaking smile…he always has…
his beautiful green eyes were shining and I felt as if I could get lost in it forever.
His
”I love you more…forever!”
He whispered in my ear.
I felt dizzy and lightheaded…how things could workout so perfectly but I had yet
to wait…I could wait but it’s going to be a long wait.
I was with him till it was time for him to leave and all the while he was holding my
hand but we didn’t say anything. We just sat there…words were just not enough to
express the way we felt. When it was time for him to leave we hugged each other
and he gave me a short kiss. My eyes were filled with tears but I was smiling, my
chest no longer aches and I felt relieved. He looked into my eyes for a while and
left with a silent promise of returning to my side, it was clear in his eyes, I
understood his heart’s language all too well…for his heart was mine to keep and
mine his…!
The End…
8