ISSN 1177-2573
Quarterly news for Child, Youth and Family caregivers
15 •
ISSUE
On yer bike: James and Heather get
ready for their great Kiwi holiday.
007
ber 2
Decem
Every year James and Heather Tuhoro
load up their car with tents, a quad
bike, a kayak and make sure they
haven’t forgotten anything – especially
the kids! Like many other Kiwi families,
they head off for the classic summer
holiday. The only difference is that the
Tuhoro’s kids are foster children.
The great Kiwi campers
“Some have never been to a beach, some have never
been camping, some have never been on holiday. It’s
totally different from anything else they’ve done,” says
Heather. She estimates that they’ve looked after about
360 children in their 13 years of caregiving, and during
that time they have taken their kids away camping
every summer.
Child, Youth and Family have helped with their
holiday costs by reimbursing the young people’s
camp ground fees.
The buzz in the Tuhoro household starts well before
the sun begins to shine each year. “They can’t wait
to go there, they’re already talking about it months
before Christmas,” says Heather. “It’s awesome
watching them catch their first fish, or learning to
cook on a barbeque, and they just love it.”
3 • First place: Foster Care Awareness Week 4 • Family riches: Three generations of care 6 • Young achievers: The William Wallace Awards
• Update •
(continued from cover page)
“It’s just what families do, it gives them a sense of
belonging. It’s what my mum did with us, what we
did with our children and now we do with our foster
children.”
children. “We include them in everything, if I visit
family they come with me, if we go to my husband’s
marae they come with us, so they become part of us.”
This is especially important during the holiday season,
which can be a vulnerable time for young people in
care who can’t be with their own
“It builds them up and
family. “They know we’re going
makes them feel good to do all these things on holiday,
about themselves
and giving them something to
because they’re
look forward to takes away the
learning new things.” sadness.”
The children in their care have
been with them for at least three
years, which means the summer
holiday really has become a family
tradition. “It teaches them to do
things together, as a family. It’s not
just them alone, there’s a group
of us. If we go to the beach or swimming, we all do it
together,” says Heather. “It builds them up and makes
them feel good about themselves because they’re
learning new things.”
And Heather adds one practical
but important reason for taking the kids on holiday –
“They’re not sitting around bored, so it keeps them out
of trouble!”
It’s part of her philosophy that the young people in
their care are part of the family, like any of their other
Dear Santa…
How will Child, Youth and Family help
with Christmas?
In addition to your usual care allowance, an extra
allowance is paid at Christmas and on the child’s
birthday. This is given to all caregivers who receive the
foster care allowance (board payments), to help with
gifts and celebrations for the young person in their
care. The amount is half the standard board rate, so
this year’s Christmas allowance will be:
• $62.00 for caregivers of 0-4 year olds
• $71.97 for caregivers of 5-9 year olds
• $79.43 for caregivers of 10-13 year olds
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2
www.cyf.govt.nz
• $86.83 for caregivers of over 14 year olds.
Happy shopping, good luck beating the crowds
and most importantly, have a fab, fun Christmas!
Foster care comes first
Caregivers were number one during Foster Care Awareness Week in October, as their great work
was celebrated around the country. It was a week of firsts, including the first ever Excellence in Foster Care
Awards and the first graduation ceremony for the National Certificate in Whänau/Family Care. Head of Child,
Youth and Family, Ray Smith, said it was his favourite week of the year. “It’s a chance to say thank you to all
our extraordinary caregivers who play a very special role in the lives of some of New Zealand’s most vulnerable
children and young people.”
Nana and Papa: ‘Nana’ Malta and ‘Papa’
John Hauraki have an open door policy in
their home, with a bed and home cooked
meal for young people living rough. They
are pictured with Ray Smith, head of Child,
Youth and Family.
Excellence in Foster
Care Awards
Celebrating caregivers: The
winners of the Excellence
in Foster Care Awards.
A ceremony was held at
Parliament, and run by the
New Zealand Family and
Foster Care Federation.
Shona and Des:
Home makeover
In the last issue of Care Matters we named
the fantastic caregivers who won the first
annual Excellence in Foster Care Awards.
Unfortunately we missed out Shona and Des
Cannons from Oropi, who are caregivers
for the Open Home Foundation. They are
currently extending their home so they
can take in more children, and their plans
include a rumpus room that can be used as an emergency sleeping area. “We’ll be able
to accommodate a family of four siblings. Where else are they going to find somewhere
where they can do all that?” says Des. It’s this kind of dedication that was recognised
in their award, and we’d like to congratulate them too.
Des and Shona have set up a foundation to support their venture, check
out www.springtimefoundation.org.nz
Olga’s wake up call
Hug of love: The nation
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Care Matters • ISSUE 15 • December 2007
3
• Hot Topic •
Family tradition
Caregiving is ‘in the blood’ of the Pilalis family with three generations involved in care. With the
customs of Christmas well upon us, Care Matters talked to a mother and daughter about their very
special family tradition.
Grandma Pam, her daughter Andeana and her four year
This mother and daughter team have turned what
old grandson are all crouched on the floor, pouring
could have been a sad chapter in the Pilalis family
over a jigsaw puzzle. Nan and mum are finding the
history, into a rich tradition of caregiving. “My mother
puzzle pieces, while the youngest member of the clan is
was a foster child. She went into care in one of the
deftly putting each piece in its place. He is one of three
first foster homes. She had a good home, but she never
children in care that Andeana
“I saw what a difference saw her parents between the ages
and her partner Colin have taken
my mum made in other of four and 15,” explains Pam. “So
guardianship of, along with
when I was growing up my mother
children’s lives,” says didn’t have good attachment. She
her three birth children. “I can
Andeana. “And how the loved us dearly, but she couldn’t
honestly say hand-on-heart that I
smallest things can do put her whole self into raising us.”
don’t feel any difference between
my birth children and my foster
so much for a child.”
As a result of this Pam’s youth
children. I love them all equally,”
was not unlike some of the young
says Andeana.
people that we have in our youth justice system as
The mum of six is following in the footsteps of her own
mother Pam – also known as Nan – who is a mother of
five, was a caregiver and now works as a Child, Youth
and Family social worker. “I’ve improved on my mum,
and I said to my daughter, ‘Now you improve on me’,”
says Pam, in her typically humble manner.
4
www.cyf.govt.nz
we know it today. At 18 she became pregnant with
Andeana, and this was the catalyst that helped Pam
find the strength to turn her life around.
“When I had Andeana I was still not totally functional,
but I had this memory from when I was four years
o
“T
be
a
o
go
d
t
en
r
pa
t
fos
r
o
ty
ren
a
p
er
ob
av e t
ou h
old. I remember asking my mum to play dolls with me
and she wouldn’t, so I said to my dolls, ‘When I have
children I’m going to spend as much time with them
as possible’. That thought came back to me after I had
Andeana, so I decided I needed to change.”
Her firsthand experience of fostering was what drew
Pam to take children into her care, and it was her life
experience as a young person that led her to become a
social worker.
“I saw what a difference my mum made in other
children’s lives,” says Andeana. “And how the smallest
things can do so much for a child.” She intended to
just do short term respite care, but it seemed that each
child they took in ended up staying. “To be a good
parent or foster parent you have to be completely
committed and on board 100 percent.”
And Nan is always there as well, to be a positive role
model. “I tell the children, ‘Nan went through troubled
times, but she made it and so can you’.”
Puzzle pieces: Pam
and Andeana have
some family fun.
ommitted and on board 100 pe
e completely c
rcent.”
Christmas tradition
Two of their children joined Andeana and Colin’s family just before Christmas four years ago, and
from the outset it was their family traditions that helped create a sense of belonging. “One of the
girls kept waiting for us to go out and leave her on Christmas day, and I just said, ‘Christmas for us
is about being at home and being together as a family’, and that was really important to her.”
Last year the entire family turned their garage into a
Christmas cave, using 100 metres of white fabric, and
everything was silver and white right down to the
cutlery and napkins. Andeana has bought identical
stockings for each child, so that no matter who is
with them for Christmas they feel equally part of the
celebrations.
The support of their extended family has been crucial.
“We got a child short term just before Christmas and
straight away the family rang and asked, ‘How many
for Christmas this year? What does he like, what
present would he want?”
Building a relationship with the children’s birth
parents has also been important. Where it’s
appropriate, birth families are invited to the children’s
significant events. Andeana makes a point of taking
some of the children for access visits herself, and she
has obtained the phone numbers and addresses of as
many extended family members as possible.
“My daughter said to me, ‘I want a normal life’, and to
me a normal life is family, so instead of utilising the
access supervisor for family contact, we include the
family contact into our family summer holiday,” says
Andeana.
Even the bad times, like when parents haven’t turned
up to access, have helped the children understand
why they belong to their loving ‘second’ family. The
trust built between Andeana and the birth parents also
means they are more likely to call ahead if they aren’t
going to keep to commitments.
Like all families, there are ups and downs with the
kids, “but the important thing is that they know they
belong”, says Andeana.
s
Pam and Andeana’s tip
ristmas
Ch
at
re
ca
in
for children
.
• Relax and have lots of fun
e with their birth family
• Some children spend tim
don’t. So whatever
on Christmas day and others child and
your
their plans, fully support
great day.
encourage them to have a
tmas preparations
• Include children in Chris
onging, for example
so they have a sense of bel and
e
decorating the Christmas cak
Christmas tree.
children in your house
• Make sure that all the
ntity of presents.
have equal quality and qua
care to show
• Don’t expect children in
bably feeling
appreciation as they are pro
overwhelmed.
ir family, encourage
• If children can’t see the
cards to their birth
children to send Christmas
family and their friends.
nderfully safe and
We hope you all have a wo
happy Christmas!
Care Matters • ISSUE 15 • December 2007
5
• Life Matters •
Angela and Angeline at the
William Wallace Awards.
Touched
by an angel
“It was such a
buzz and when she
saw the calibre of
the other winners
she thought,
‘Wow I have
really achieved
something’.”
Angelic forces may well have been at work when
caregiver Angela met Angeline. Their special
bond helped 17 year old Angeline turn her
stumbling blocks into stepping stones, and she
has now won a William Wallace Tertiary Award.
“It does seem like fate,” says caregiver Angela
Hardgrave. “From the very first time she came to us for
respite care we wanted her to be a part of our family. I
don’t know where the bond came from, but she could
be ours.”
Angela laughs at people’s reactions to her daughter,
who is Thai/Filipino. “I introduce her as my daughter,
and you see people looking at us and thinking, ‘How
on earth is she your daughter?
“Angie will always be part of our lives and always have
a home with us,” she says.
Angeline – or Angie as she is called – recently won a
Child, Youth and Family award, known as a William
Wallace Award, which gives her a grant to help with
tertiary study.
“She got a real buzz out of it,” says Angela. “To be
honest, the award has been huge for her, because it
has made the difference between being able to go to
uni next year, and having to work for a year to save up
for fees.”
6
could do something like attend university.
itty..
We have always told Angie she can do
y
whatever she wants and we will be fully
supportive.”
o
Angie was one of the nine winners who
attended the ceremony at Parliament
with Ruth Dyson, Minister for Social
esst
Development and Employment, and guest
speaker Inga ‘the Winger’ Tuigamala.
Inga spoke powerfully about his own
struggles as a young Samoan migrant,
and told the young people to “use yourr
background as a stepping stone, not a
stumbling block”.
Perhaps more importantly, it has confirmed to Angie
that she can pursue her dreams, and it was for this
reason that Angela nominated her foster daughter for
the awards. “Nominating Angie was about showing
her that she has choices, and we thought a William
Wallace Award would reinforce that.
Angie has indeed stepped over huge milestones since
coming to live with Angela and her husband Colin
three years ago. She was a late enrolment at her new
college and wasn’t able to do the subjects that suited
her ability, which meant that she didn’t pass her NCEA
Level One. “Lots of teenagers would have given up,”
says Angela. “But Angie worked incredibly hard and in
the next year passed both Level One and Two.”
“I think that it’s a rarity for a young person in care to
overcome their background to the point where they
She also got a part time job and started saving for
university. Now she has been accepted for a Bachelor
www.cyf.govt.nz
STEPPING STONE: Angeline, Bryce Hosie, Anne-Marie
Mabus, Turoa Salmon, Craig Scorringe and Ryan Bailes
gather around Inga ‘the Winger’ Tuigamala.
of Education in early childhood, and the whole family
is justifiably proud. “She has really been able to turn
herself around from not really caring about education,
to finding things that she is really good at.
“It’s worked out so well with her winning the award.
It was such a buzz and when she saw the calibre of
the other winners she thought, ‘Wow I have really
achieved something’.”
What are the William Wallace Awards?
Winning hearts:
The William
am Wallace Awards 2007
rs, friends and
Nine deserving winners, along with their caregivers,
social workers, descended on Parliament for the William Wall
Wallace
Awards in October. Like all young people in care, they have
p them
overcome huge barriers to win these awards which will help
pursue their dreams. They were
not only award winners, but their
courage and pride won the hearts
of everyone there.
These annual Child, Youth and Family awards were
created from a bequest by a man named William
Wallace. They are for outstanding young people in
care, and go towards supporting them in leadership,
vocational or tertiary training. This year’s winners
were Craig Scorringe, Kayla Konig, Bryce Hosie, AnneMarie Mabus, Angeline Vongprem, Jack Baker, Turoa
Salmon, Ryan Bailes and another deserving winner who
has opted not to be named. We congratulate all our
amazing young people.
>> Nominations
>>
N
for the 2008 awards
will be open from July next year.
w
Brothers in arms: Winners Craig
Scorringe and Turoa Salmon.
“Craig is funny and extremely thoughtful,
as well as being helpful and kind,” says his
caregiver Nicola Brandsen, who nominated
him for the awards. Turoa’s dream is to
attend Gallipoli for ANZAC Day as part of
his Army Cadet training. Dressed in uniform,
he stole the show with his dignity and pride.
True potential: “I’m passionate
about leadership roles,” says
Jack Baker, who will use his
award for university next year.
“I just want to bring out the potential
in others.” He’s pictured here with
Inga Tuigamala and his social worker
Thomas Ngaruhe. “Jack is one in a
million,” says Thomas.
Sister
Sist
Si
s er act: Winner Anne-Marie
st
Mabus
Mabu
Ma
buss was there with her
bu
foster
fost
fo
ster
st
er sister Rosie Challis.
“I’ve
“I’v
“I
’v
ve be
b
been inspired by Anne Marie’s
a
at
tti
titu
tud
tu
d to make the best of the
attitude
op
oppo
pport
port
po
rtu
u
opportunities
that arise for her,” said
JJanette
Ja
neettte Redpath, the social worker
w
wh
ho
o no
who
nominated her. She will use her
awar
aw
arrd to attend university next year.
a
award
Care Matters • ISSUE 15 • December 2007
7
• News you can use •
It takes a
village to write
a handbook…
A ‘new and improved’ edition of the Caregivers’
Handbook is due out next year. Child, Youth
and Family is currently working with a ‘village’
of experts on the update – including the real
experts, our caregivers.
The more user friendly handbook will include updated
policies and info about new legislation such as
The Care of Children Act. It will be easier to use and
have handy tips on managing children and teenagers.
It will be sprinkled with useful resource lists such as
books, videos, websites and support groups available
for caregivers.
Caregivers have heaps of skills, knowledge and
experience, and the handbook is designed to
build on that knowledge and clarify the roles and
responsibilities for all those involved in caring for a
child or young person.
Caring for a child or young person works best with
a collaborative team approach between caregivers,
social workers and the child’s family. So the review of
the handbook is being done by a team that includes
people from Child, Youth and Family, Grandparents
Raising Grandchildren and the New Zealand Family and
Foster Care Federation. The group is also consulting
health and education specialists, who are contributing
information for caregivers.
Be in to win!
The best of…
Whitcoulls have kindly given us a copy of Time Out
and Shrek the Third to give away! To be in to win, just
fill out this form and send it back to us:
BOOKS:
Address:
What article did you find most helpful, or like
best in this issue of Care Matters?
Send to: Care Matters, Child, Youth and Family
Communications, PO Box 2620, Wellington.
Or email us with your name, postal address and answer
to the above question at carematters@cyf.govt.nz.
Closing date: Friday, 1 February 2008.
8
www.cyf.govt.nz
In the meantime, if you need a Caregivers’ Handbook
you can download it from www.cyf.govt.nz or ask
your caregiver social worker to photocopy an existing
edition.
Get in touch:
Contact Brendy Weir, project manager, Caregivers’
Handbook. Phone (04) 918-9084
Email brendy.weir001@cyf.govt.nz
FAMILY DVD:
T
Time
Out for tots, teens and
eeveryone in between
Diane Levy, $29.99
D
Name:
But the review team also wants to hear directly from
the people who understand caregiving the best, and
that’s caregivers. If you have any useful information
or ideas to contribute get in touch with Brendy Weir,
project manager for the Caregivers’ Handbook – her
contact details are below.
A
Amid
the wealth of conflicting
o
opinions about the right and wrong
w
ways to bring up kids, family
ttherapist Diane Levy is always
a voice of sensible wisdom. She
b
believes parents have rights as well
as responsibilities, and that the whole family is happier
if the children are taught self discipline, and how to
experience and handle their emotions. She believes
‘time out’ is the ideal way to discipline children so that
they learn about boundaries and expectations. Having
a Diane Levy book in your hand will definitely help you
through those stressed out times when you’re not sure
you’re doing the right thing.
SShrek the Third (DVD)
No one can be too young or
ttoo old to enjoy the hilarious
a
adventures of Shrek, Fiona,
Donkey and friends. This time,
SShrek freaks out at the idea
o
of fatherhood – and of course
tthere are many fairytale villains
tto be vanquished. A fantastic
C
Christmas present for the whole
family.