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DOWNDOWN
FARM
FARM
Mental Health
n Rural Taranaki
MENTAL HEALTH IN RURAL WAIRARAPA / TARARUA
Inside
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The Issues
Farmer Profiles
Expert Advice
Support Networks
East Coast Rural Support Trust
2
Acknowledgements
Contributors:
Especially those sharing their stories in
order to help others. Your courage and
practical experiences are largely what this
publication is all about.
Sources
This project was initiated by local
farmers, the East Coast Rural Support
Trust Wairarapa and Tararua, Like Minds
Like Mine and a number of private and
professional people with close ties to the
Wairarapa and Tararua rural communities.
Major Sponsors:
• East Coast Rural Support Trust
Wairarapa and Tararua
• LIC
• A.D.B Williams Trust
By Neil McLaren
T
he East Coast Rural Support Trust regions
of Wairarapa and Tararua have seen a
need to promote the mental health
and wellbeing of our rural communities, so
have co-ordinated a team to run a 12 month
campaign. The team consists of Jane Mills,
Suicide Prevention Co-ordinator, Regional
Public Health, Corrinne Oliver, Like Minds Like
Mine; Matt Hood, RABO Bank; Sarah Doyle,
Clinical Psychologist; Steve Thomson, Farmer/
Minister; Margaret Wheatstone, Farmer; Jamie
Falloon, Fed Farmers; David Marsh, Bill Wallace
and myself, Neil McLaren, East Coast Rural
Support. This publication will be the main focus
Farmlands
Rabobank
Ballance
Patrick and Scott Professionals
BNZ
Beef and Lamb NZ
PGG Wrightson
Naylor Lawrence & Associates Ltd
MCI & Associates Ltd
Wairarapa Building Society
The Hive Chartered Accountants
CRS Software
Tararua Veterinary Services
Tararua and Wairarapa Property Brokers
Innes Dean Tararua Law Ltd
Regional Public Health
Rova Chartered Accountants
Logan Gold Walsh Lawyers
John Daniell Memorial Trust
Sellar and Sellar Chartered Accountants
John Griffith and Co.
Project Manager
Grant Davidson
grant.davidson@fairfaxmedia.co.nz
A
s the Mayor of Tararua – a district
which relies heavily on a rural base for
so many of our families and relevant
businesses - I welcome a publication of this
sort. It is so important that rural families are
aware of the problems that we all encounter
in our everyday working environment, which
brings about mental stress on both partners
and children. As a farmer it is often too
difficult to admit we are in shut down mode
and cannot see the wood for the trees. It is
at times like this we need to find help and
maybe that the other half or a good friend or
Production Co-ordinator
Kay Southon
Published by
Hutt News
22 Raroa Road Lower Hutt.
Contents
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Neil McLaren
Chairperson
East Coast Rural Support Trust
06 372 7839
neighbour spots
the signs and help
is found.
While sitting
around a coffee
table or standing
in a woolshed,
during my
three-years as
the Drought Relief Co-ordinator, many
problems were communicated to me.
Families realised it was in confidence and
often a good outpouring of “Troubles at
Mill” was enough to help out. However
where I felt that some sort of sensible help
could be found, I indicated where that
could be found. We are all proud people,
but it is better to find that help before it
is too late.
I truly recommend that you read this
publication, if not to help yourself then to
possibly help others.
Roly Ellis
Mayor
Tararua District Council
06 374 4080 (North)
06 376 0110 (South)
Carterton District Council
T
Photographer
Pete Nikolaison
Introduction
Overview
Stress and Farming
Depression
Mental Health
Managing Financial Stress
Dealing with Grief
Seeking Help
Youth Story
Looking After Youth
Depression
Doug Avery
Maori perspective
The Journal
Wairarapa Blokes Book
Stress Management
Support Services
Finding Help / Poem
By Roly Ellis
Ron Mark
Editorial
Mary Anne Thomson
I would like to thank everyone who has
had the courage to stand up and tell their
stories about what they went through and how
they dealt with their situations, in the hope
that it will in turn encourage others not to be
embarrassed to seek help.
I would also like to thank the previous
publications whose format we have followed
and the sponsors, who have funded
the campaign.
Tararua District Council
Sponsors confirmed at date of printing
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of the campaign
and has been
inspired by previous
helpful publications
in Southland and
Taranaki. The
purpose is to inform
farmers, their
families and their
communities that there is support out there,
and it is OK to ask for help. There are family,
friends, neighbours and professional people
who care and who can help when you feel
stressed, depressed, are suffering from grief and
cannot find a way through your problems.
he nature of rural people is hardy, stoic
and willing to do things physically and
mentally that most other people wouldn’t
do,” says Carterton District Council mayor, Ron
Mark. “Getting up in the early hours to go out
in the worst of weather, to deal with all manner
of things outside their control like climate,
financial markets and changing government
policies, can add huge stresses to the lives of
a farming couple,” he says. “The type of person
who will take on these challenges is usually
strong, proud and independent so it is not
uncommon for rural families to be so stressed
that they are not able to recognise it. It’s in
those times they
need family, friends
and neighbours
to recognise it for
them and get the
help they need even if they don’t
think they want or
need it.
“Having to admit they can’t handle
something, is naturally difficult for these
ordinarily strong people. But failure to do so
could be disastrous.
“I encourage everyone to know your
neighbours, to be observant, be alert
to changes, read this publication and
become knowledgeable about the signs
and symptoms of stress and where services
can be accessed from. As tough as it
might be, support your neighbours by
encouraging them to get help, or get help
for them if they are not in a position to do
so themselves.
“Observe, ask, follow through – failure to
do so may cost a life”.
Ron Mark
Mayor
Carterton District Council
06 379 4030
Why We Should Worry About
Farmers’ Mental Health
A
s farmers we are very
good at looking after
environmental and animal
health, but we don’t always
worry about our own health,”
says Wairarapa Federated
Farmers Provincial President,
Jamie Falloon.
“The farming industry is very
isolated, we operate with a lot
of issues outside our control –
weather, politics etc. It is easy for
things to get on top of us quickly
– if something goes wrong it can
be pretty dire, ” he says.
The farming industry has
an uneviable record of deaths
related to mental health
“
issues – but it doesn’t have
to be this way. Don’t leave
it to someone else, look out
for your family, mates and
neighbours. Recognise problems
can occur not only with farmers
but with their family members
as well. Let’s all look out for
each other and it will make
a difference!
“It’s not that hard – as
well as talking about lambing
percentages and grass growth
we need to ask each other how
we are – AND IMPORTANTLY
take time to listen to the answer.
Provide an opportunity for
others to tell you that things are
tough. Put answers together
with body language and what
you know of the person and if
you think something is out of
the ordinary give them further
encouragement to speak up. If
they need help, help them find it.
“Keep this publication as a
reference in case you or your
mates ever need it – it contains
plenty of advice and places to go
for help.
“Fellow farmers, talk to
people about how you are
feeling, ask people how they are
feeling, listen to the answers and
offer support to each. Together
we can make a difference.”
T
he dark, damp, dull days
of winter are passing, the
days are getting longer
and things should be looking
brighter moving into spring,”
says Anders Crofoot, National
Vice President of Federated
Farmers NZ.
“But, for some of us things
may not be looking brighter,” says
the former New Yorker with a
background in funds analysis who
now farms the iconic hill country
Castlepoint Station. “Farming
is a challenging business and
sometimes the demands can go
from being stimulating to getting
on top of you in an insidious way
that’s often hard to notice. If it
seems like a long hard slog with
no end in sight and you are not
having fun anymore then it is
time to change something.
“A change might be taking
a break and getting off farm.
Or it may be having a chat with
your neighbour or an advisor –
there is a lot of truth to the old
adage that a burden shared is a
burden halved.
That first step may lead onto
other steps, which can make
a change for the better. Doing
the same thing and expecting a
different outcome will not work.
Some changes can be small, others
large, but the important thing is to
recognise that you should not be
feeling hopeless day after day and
there are things that you can do to
get out of those dull, dreary days
and move into spring.”
A simple definition of stress is…
The body’s reaction to things that
happen to you.
Stress can be both positive and
negative.
Positive stress can be an enabler.
Bad stress (distress) is when events
make us feel uncomfortable and
not in control.
Jamie Falloon
R
ural men often don’t talk
much and tend to ignore
issues until they become
overwhelmed by them” says
Patron of the Agri-Women’s
Development Trust, Mavis Mullins.
“Often it’s the women in their
lives that are the first to see signs
of stress or mental health issues,”
she says.
Mavis who farms in the
Tararua with husband Koro,
encourages rural women to look
out for little things that might be
early warning signs, and activate
help before situations become
too much.
”Our men are at risk
- the rural sector has a
disproportionate number of
suicides compared to urban
populations. The incidence of
suicide among young Maori men
is very high and this group of
our community is particularly at
risk. Farming is a great leveller many things beyond our control
mean it is easy for the most well
rounded person to suffer stress,
anxiety and depression.
“I encourage everyone in our
rural community to look out for
each other – if you see someone
looking down, or just acting
differently, take action. Give
them time and a place to have a
discussion. Sit down and talk, go
to town for dinner or have friends
round. Farming is very isolating,
in particular for Maori who are
often not involved in traditional
rural networks. The more social
support we can provide the
better off everyone will be.
“When things get tough within
the business, it’s always better
to engage early with advisers
and banks. Don’t ignore signs of
problems, if you wait till everything
is backed up then there can be too
much pressure. Take the pressure
The danger lies in too much stress
over a long time.
What are the
warning signs?
Your Body:
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Anders Crofoot
Look for Signs and Activate Support
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Q&A
What is Stress?
A Burden Shared is a Burden Halved
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Breathing problems
Chest tightness
Upset stomach e.g. nausea,
diarrhoea, constipation
Tension, aches and pains
Headaches
Fatigue
Feeling ‘wired”-unable to relax
Lower immunity, inclined to
catch any little bug going around
and take longer to recover.
Altered sex drive or
alternatively increased need for
sex as a release.
Your Mind:
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Thinking feels sped up and
thoughts are intrusive.
Difficulty making decisions
Forgetfulness
Poor concentration
Poor problem solving
Easily distracted
Your Emotions:
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Mavis Mullins
off, talk to your mate and address
the issues early.”
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Worrying excessively (similar to
anxiety).
Feeling overwhelmed, stuck or
trapped.
“Short fuse”- sudden bursts of
anger and irritability often at
small issues
Tearfulness
Feeling down
Loneliness
Loss of motivation and
enjoyment
Your Actions &
Behaviour:
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Sleeping problems e.g. can’t get
to sleep or wake up thinking
about farm tasks.
Poor eating
May become withdrawn failing to share daily goals with
partner and staff, shutting off
from community events and
socialisation.
Alcohol, tobacco and caffeine
use may increase
Become reactive rather than
proactive
Avoiding situations or issues
e.g. not returning phone calls or
opening invoices
Delaying demanding tasks e.g.
dagging sheep.
Farming and Stress
4
Q&A
What can cause
stress in the
rural sector?
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Work load – too much to do –
too little time
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Financial pressures and
uncertain incomes
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Adverse events – farming
and personal
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The weather – not doing what
is needed
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Livestock wellbeing
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Unfair and/or unequal returns
on the market
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Geographic isolation from
most services
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Relationship issues with boss,
staff, lenders, neighbours
and family
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Never ending hours of work
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Feeling under valued and/
or isolated
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Bullying and/or harassment
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Ever increasing
compliance costs
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Poor communication and
role expectations
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Juggling work and home life
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Technology – so frustrating
when not working effectively
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Unreasonable personal pressure
and/or goals
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Political influence – changes
in the sector which you
cannot control
Sarah Donaldson
Stress - What is it?
Essentially stress is when
demands or pressures outweigh
our ability to cope. It relates
physically to having a higher
arousal level in our body. Not
all stress is bad. We need some
arousal for our bodies to get up
and going, to get things done and
achieve all we want. However,
too much stress for too long and
your body and mind start to have
difficulty. You need recovery
periods, to come down off that
stress peak when you have been
through a particularly demanding
period. Recovery helps sustain
your performance, energy levels
and stay well. At its best, stress
provides the fuel for motivation
and achievement, at its worst,
sustained periods can lead to
burn out, anxiety and depression.
What Helps?
Prioritise Demands
Try to focus on just your main 2-3
problems - leave the others to
come back to. Often by the time
you do, they are not such a big
deal because you are feeling more
in control. The priorities may be
organising more feed for stock, and
getting the overdraft sorted. But
be realistic in your expectations.
Don’t set yourself up to feel worse
by setting unachievable goals.
Change Your Way of Thinking
It is good to ask yourself the
question “what can I control and
change to help?”- This means
you can focus on achievable
tasks. There is no point wasting
your energy on factors you can’t
change like the weather because it
won’t achieve or change anything
except to wind you up more.
A crucial factor in managing
stress is becoming aware of
what you are saying to yourself.
Change negative thoughts into
more realistic or helpful thoughts
e.g. “It’s not looking like the best
forecast for this season, but
we’ve had worse and we’ll get
through it again”. By focusing
on what is going well, how you
or others have coped before in
similar situations you can stay
more optimistic, in control and
motivated with tasks at hand.
Take the initiative again
Once the main problems are
identified take the initiative.
It might be approaching the
bank manager before he/she
approaches you. Talking to them
about what you see the options
are, can be far more empowering
and positive than retreating from
it and hoping it will all go away.
Remember there are always
choices and options no matter
how hard it gets.
Physical Stuff
When we are very busy or
stressed we often forget to
eat well but this is essential to
keeping the body running well
especially when it is under higher
demands. Likewise keeping a
regular routine for sleep. If your
arousal level is still high at night
you will need a good period to
wind down before your body
will be ready to sleep. So keep
this time relaxing- don’t do farm
budgets then! Limit caffeine
and alcohol as this makes this
pattern worse. Exercise is a great
stress release. Of course if you
have been mustering by foot or
dagging all day you won’t need
extra physical exercise, rather
some relaxing downtime.
Long periods of tension can
also mean breathing becomes
shallower causing lots of physical
symptoms due to the change
in CO2 in the body. There is
scientific value in breathing
exercises – they are not simply
some “warm fuzzy carry on”.
Get some time away
Getting that recovery period
can be difficult when work and
home life are closely entwined.
At less busy times prioritise time
to participate in activities such
as kids’ sports days or visiting
friends/family. It’s a matter
of making the most of these
opportunities and prioritising
your health and relationships not
just the farm. If you find you can
relax and unwind at home that
is great. But often there are too
many triggers or ongoing jobs
around you that will not allow
you to get your mind off the
job. Plenty of farmers’ partners
will groan inwardly when their
farming partner says he/she
will just “shoot out” to do that
“little job” on his elusive day off.
In addition for farmers on their
own they can become quite
isolated with little distraction
from stressful thoughts or
opportunities for good times.
Getting away as hard as that can
be, is a big help for staying well
personally and keeping positive
relationships.
Have a Yarn
Getting some perspective back on
what the real issues are is helpful.
By conceding that you are finding
farming life challenging doesn’t
make you a bad farmer just a
realistic one who can acknowledge
your limits. Choose people who are
constructive and good listeners.
Support in the rural
communities is amazingly
forthcoming- as long as people
know you need a hand. And
remember what goes around
comes around. If the neighbour
helps you out chances are you
get to help them back in some
other way.
Partners (or dogs!) can suffer
the brunt of a stressed out farmer.
However two heads can be better
than one especially if the other
partner may have a positive angle
or be slightly more removed and
less jaded in their perspective.
Farming in the 21st Century
“F
arming in the 21st
Century is very different
to ‘the old days’ when
the pace of life was a lot slower
and there was less pressure
to perform,” says farmer Barry
Kempton whose family were the
original settlers of Greytown.
“Don’t get me wrong, being
a farmer has never been easy,” he
says. “Previous generations had
two world wars and a couple of
depressions to cope with, these
events were certainly traumatic
for them to deal with.”
“All farmers have financial
pressure to a greater or lesser
extent to cope with. A young
person starting off buying a farm
and taking on a huge mortgage
has always had their back to the
wall for a number of years to make
headway in reducing their debt.”
Prior to the 1980s farming
was very much a family affair,
the husband and wife were
always there. In many cases,
particularly on dairy farms
mum and the kids were regular
helpers, (especially after school
and in the school holidays) when
the whole family helped with
shearing, lambing, docking and
feeding calves etc.
As time went on farmers
terms of trade were diminishing
so farmers who in the past had
made a good living needed a
bigger farm or run more stock to
keep the same standard of living.
This added to more animal
health issues and more debt
so by now many farmers were
on a precarious path that was
compounded by the economic
reforms of the mid 80s.
For the first time many wives
went off farm to work, some
farmers worked their farms
on weekends while they had
another job off farm. Gone were
the days of farming for a lifestyle,
in many cases it was a battle for
economic survival.
Farmers in many cases became
isolated, they didn’t have their
spouse home at smoko and
lunch time to chew over the days
problems or just have a yarn, the
visits from stock firm travellers
became almost nil in some areas.
Many farmers who had previously
employed staff were trying to
cope with minimal help so not
only the physical pressures took
their toll but the lack of social
interaction isolated many as did
the closing of many small country
schools and losing some country
services such as banks and
post offices.
Through all this farmers
had the usual droughts, floods,
storms to cope with on the farm
while at the same time their
Barry Kempton
personal lives were sometimes
turned upside down by grief
following the loss of family
and friends.
“We in the Wairarapa are
fortunate in having The Rural
Support Trust and Supporting
Families Wairarapa who are only
a phone call away and have
helped me deal with some of
these issues,” says Barry.
There is a Way Through
Q&A
John Harvey
C
apable, durable, versatile, it
could be said that farmers
are the ultimate DIYers, the
quintessential kiwi blokes.
But in truth, farmers are
human and sometimes fallible,
something many find difficult
to accept.
Yvonne Harvey knows first
hand just how human farmers
are. Her husband John, an
established and successful
Martinborough farmer of 40
years, was struck by a bout of
depression that could have cost
him his life.
Fortunately for John,
he has a wife who had the
presence of mind to act quickly.
As soon as she had identified
that there was a problem Yvonne
asked for help and in doing so,
set in motion the process for
John to get well.
Tragically however this story
is playing out a different way
for many people in the rural
community and farmers are
needlessly dying.
‘‘Sadly, there are a lot of
blokes out there that just get told
to get over it and get on with it,’’
Yvonne says.
This harden-up approach has
got to go, Yvonne says. Farmers
need to be alert to each other’s
thoughts and feelings. Equally,
farmers need to allow themselves
to ask for help. ‘‘If you had been
hurt in the yard or something
you would go to the doctor, so
why can’t farmers do the same
with depression.’’
Yvonne can clearly recall
when she realised something
was ‘‘not right’’ but can’t pinpoint any one trigger for the start
of John’s depression.
Pragmatic and sensible
John had always managed
to farm through tough
periods but about four years
ago began to question his
decision making.
‘‘I realised when things were
wrong when we were working
in the yards drafting one day
and he was just standing there,
motionless.’’
5
What Can You Do
About Stress?
It is not possible to
remove the cause
of stress – learn to
manage your body’s
reaction to stress
John Harvey made it through depression thanks to help from his wife Yvonne
It coincided with John having
nightmares and waking in the
night in a terrible state.
‘‘He would be terrified that
the SPCA were going to come
and take the sheep away, the
banks were going to foreclose on
us and so on.’’
‘‘It was so out of character,
John is always so methodical, he
thinks things through - nothing
spontaneous or rash so for him to
be making statements like that
just didn’t make sense.’’
Yvonne took immediate
action, getting John to the family
doctor, and arranging a visit
from the bank manager. She also
contacted the Rural Support
Trust, who organised a visit from
a farm advisor.
‘‘They assessed where the
farm was at and basically told
John what we had been telling
him and that was that everything
(with the farm) was the way it
should be.’’
Looking back Yvonne says
acting swiftly was critical. She
considers her and John to be
among the lucky ones because
they are a tight team.
‘‘For the farm to work we
work as a team . . . when one of
your team members is crook you
do something about it.’’
But that is not necessarily
the case on every farm where,
although there is now a greater
awareness of depression, farmers
are still reluctant to ask for help.
‘‘It is human to show your
emotions, it is not a sign of
weakness and if it can stop so
many wonderful farmers and
wonderful people in general
taking their own lives it’s got to
be positive, doesn’t it.’’
•
Acknowledge that you are
stressed and/or depressed –
while we deny it we cannot act
on it.
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Give yourself some breathing/
thinking space.
•
Start talking to someone
you trust about what is
distressing you.
•
Discuss problems with your
partner and share the load.
•
Work out a plan to minimize
what is stressing you the most.
•
Try to find a solution to
problems or conflict in your life.
•
Eat well, exercise and get
sufficient sleep.
•
Take some time out – ideally
away from the farm.
•
Treat yourself – do something
fun with friends/family.
•
Talk to your GP; they will know
options that may be of help
to you.
•
Take hope. You are not alone.
You will get through this.
How to Maintain Mental Wellness
6
Q&A K
Corrinne Oliver
What are the signs
and symptoms of
depression?
Physical
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Changes in normal sleeping
and/or eating patterns.
Headaches and other
unexplained aches and pains.
Stomach disorders.
Feeling tired with little energy.
Behavioural
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Diminished interest in, and
enjoyment of, previously
enjoyed activities.
Difficulty in concentrating,
making decisions and doing
things that need doing.
Mood swings.
Alcohol and/or drug misuse.
Emotional
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Feeling down, apathetic,
irritable, pessimistic, angry,
guilty, anxious and empty.
Feeling hopeless, helpless and
worthless.
Thoughts of death and/or suicide.
If some or all of the above go
on for more than two weeks –
seek help.
What are the risk
factors?
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Family and personal history
of mood disorders.
Misuse of drugs or alcohol.
Chronic health problems such
as cancer or heart disease.
Separation or divorce.
Major life changes.
Work stress.
Retirement.
Unemployment.
Financial Difficulties.
Suicide.
For her own mental wellbeing, Like Minds Like Mine, Co-Ordinator
Corrinne Oliver enjoys regular time out on her motor bike
“I made myself busy
on the farm 22 hours
a day because
I didn’t want to
be around people.”
Hamish
Farmer, Te Awamutu
MOH0966/NZFW/H
Too much stress
and anxiety can
lead to depression
“It’s OK, to ask for help”
Usually the first port of call
would be to speak to your
GP if you are feeling unwell.
Remember that at any time
you can take a support
person with you. I find having
someone else with me really
useful, as I often don’t hear
everything or remember
it all after I have left the
consultation. Later over a
coffee we can discuss what
was said ie: a counselling
appointment. The Wairarapa
has a “To be Heard” program
for mild to moderate
depression, your GP can refer
you onto this.
A combination of
medication and counselling
may be required. I personally
don’t believe medication on
its own is the best avenue to
becoming and maintaining
wellness. Knowing “it’s OK
to ask for help” can make a
huge difference, there are
many people who you can
seek support from, a friend,
whanau, GP, help-line, therapist,
peer support worker, work
colleague, class-mate to name
a few.
As a whanau member,
with loved ones who have
also experienced times of
mental unwellness, I know
from experience it is very
important to look after
yourself as the caregiver.
Otherwise you end up with
two unwell people.! So taking
time out for yourself is vital to
maintaining your wellbeing
and theirs!
As an outside observer of
someone becoming unwell,
“It’s Ok, to offer help”. That
doesn’t mean that you know
all the answers, I certainly
don’t! However I would offer
agencies that can support,
for example, Jill, Supporting
Families, whanau support
worker. Jill will come to you and
offer help to those who support
the person who is unwell, with
education, information and help
connecting with other agencies
as necessary.
Whether it is stress, anxiety
or depression, sometimes a
few agencies may be needed
at the same time. At Supporting
Families we believe any door is
Feeling disappointed about how you handled a difficult situation is pretty normal.
But when you feel like a failure for more than two weeks, this could be a sign of depression.
You’re not alone. One in six New Zealanders will experience depression at some time in
their life. Understanding more about depression can help you find a way through.
Join JK at depression.org.nz, or call the Depression Helpline 0800 111 757.
the right door, come on in to
check out our resources and for
information on the Like Minds,
Like Mine workshops we offer to
the community. Tune into Like
Minds, Like Mine Local Radio
Show on Mondays
10-11am 92.7 FM or go to:
www.arrowfm.co.nz
and listen live.
DEPRESSION
MOH0966
Depression
ia ora, it is with much
pleasure that I contribute
to the first Wairarapa –
Tararua publication of “Down
on the Farm”. While I work mainly
in Wairarapa, my role as Like
Minds, Like Mine coordinator
with the wonderful team of
presenters, sees us on the road
often. I also live rurally, which
I love!
I would like to share what I
have found to be useful tools to
help reduce my personal stress
and maintain my mental wellness
over the years. Tools, which have
also helped others.
Sleep, is usually the first thing
to go when you start to become
unwell. Imagine if you lose only
one hours of sleep a night for a
week, that totals 7 hours! Nearly
one full night of sleep, and before
you know it you are feeling
stressed, exhausted, unable to
think clearly, or make your usual
thoughtful decisions.
Connecting with whanau,
friends and people in general,
when you are unwell takes alot
of energy and effort. When you
are stressed, anxious or tired, this
seems to be put in the too hard
basket! When in fact, connecting
is so vital to maintaining your
wellness. The feeling of laughter
with a good friend, nothing can
beat that!
Exercise, whatever makes
you feel good. One of my
exercises of choice is walking,
with “ma sistas” Dianne and
Yvette. When I first started I
couldn’t walk and talk, now we
do both flat out with loads of
laughter to boot! Leaving me
feeling connected, loved and
energised ready to take on
another day. The other exercise
I love is riding my motorbike
with my whanau and friends, a
great way of connecting with
like minded people. In Wairarapa
and Tararua we are truely blessed
with the beautiful scenery and
great venues.
Food, not just any food, but
food that nurtures your soul!
Makes you feel good and not
hungry 30 minutes later. When
you’re unwell it is easy not to eat
well, ironically that is the time
you should make sure you eat a
balanced diet. Again sharing a
meal is a great way to connect
with your friends.
There is a way through it
depression.org.nz/rural
Ka pakeke te haere kaua e
hemo – When things are
difficult don’t give up!
Financial Pressures and the Need
for Early Action, Understanding and
Good Planning
“W
hat is sometimes
lost in our modern
society where
success is increasingly measured
against the yardstick of others,
is that ultimately the role of
any business is to deliver what
is important to the business
owners,” said Rabobank East
Coast Regional Manager,
George Murdoch.
“What is important to each
individual business owner will
come back to the aspirations
they have for themselves and
their family. When the business
is not delivering on those
aspirations, stress builds within
the individual and the family
unit,” he says.
“Financial pressure can
occur for a number of reasons
including poor productive
performance, low product
prices, high debt levels,
overspending or just poor
financial management. It can
cause depression or high stress.
Having access to sound financial
help is crucial to recovery.”
Murdoch who has spent 30
years in banking, has strong
links with the rural community
and understands the stresses
of rural living – not only
does he originally hail from
an Ashburton farm, he still
holds shares in a Balclutha
farm. He says that proactively
seeking help is important.
Procrastination can be costly
and lead to unnecessary stress.
Yet in the vast majority of cases,
help is not proactively sought
by the individual affected and it
becomes up to someone else - a
partner, a friend or associated
professional to step in and
guide the situation. “At this
point it is important to establish
a clear picture of the business’s
financial position from both a
balance sheet and cash flow
perspective, with the objective
being the development of plans
and priorities to address both
short and longer term issues,”
he says.
“If the financial position
is fundamentally sound and
the financial pressures are an
outcome of the farmer not
functioning effectively due to
being mentally unwell, then
the solution could be as simple
as having someone else take
control of the finances over the
recovery period.
“If the depression has
been caused by the farmer’s
inability to see a future
due to structural financial
problems such as too much
debt or insufficient cash flow,
then the solutions are more
complex and need to involve
all stakeholders. These should
include the farmer, their
partner, their professionals
(lawyer, accountant and
farm consultant), financiers
and in some instances
major creditors.
“The core objective for
everyone involved is to create
a plan for the recovery of the
business, or if this is not possible,
the orderly and dignified
sale of the business. Realism,
honesty, respect and long term
sustainability are critical aspects
of this process and whilst the sale
of the business is a last resort,
sometimes just seeing an end to
the stressful situation, or regaining
control through an agreed plan,
F
“I was working really long
hours, the overdraft had
blown out, we had a young
baby and I just wasn’t coping,”
he says. “It was not easy to
admit that things were going
wrong. It is natural to want
people to see you in the best
light possible, so its hard to
tell them of what feels like
your imperfections. But it is
worth it!!!! After opening up,
suddenly others talk too and
you realise you are not the
only one in this position. It is
only after opening up that it
becomes easy to find out what
to do about it. It was actually
a real relief to know that help
was available. I went onto
medication, I had counselling,
I talked to my accountant, and
over a couple of years I really
turned the situation around.”
Lawrence still keeps a close
eye out for any warning signs
such as building stress, lack of
sleep or becoming isolated.
He keeps healthy with regular
exercise, open communication
with friends and family, plenty
of sleep, and time away
from work.
His advice is to share any
concerns – be they financial
or other - as early as possible.
“Overdrafts always on their
limit will not fix themselves. It is
really important to remember
that there are always choices.
Often fresh eyes from a friend,
accountant, or consultant will
open up options that are hard to
see from an isolated perspective,”
he says.
“Pride and worrying about
how other people may see us,
often stops us from admitting
mistakes or problems. Financial
stumbles are nothing to feel
ashamed of, with the most
successful entrepreneurs having
been through a failure or two!
Our partners and children will
still love us (and maybe love
us more) if we own up to our
Q&A
How do I reduce
feelings of
depression?
•
•
George Murdoch
can lift a huge weight from the
individuals’ shoulders.
“It’s important to remember
that in many cases financial
problems are caused by factors
outside the control of the farmer.
Being ‘staunch’ is no way to deal
with it, talking about concerns
and worries with others is the
best way of finding solutions.
“The East Coast Rural
Support Trust provides
independent and confidential
assistance. There are many other
people who can provide help.
If you see friends or colleagues
under stress and struggling
don’t be afraid to approach
them, have those difficult
conversations and help them to
get through it,” he says.
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Try to tell someone how you
are feeling.
Talk your worries over with
someone whose opinion you trust.
Take some breathing space so
you have time to start sorting
out what is stressing you.
Try to adopt a more positive
attitude. You can’t control all
the things that happen to you
but you can control how you
react to them.
Identify what you can change to
ease your depression and accept
what you cannot change.
Limit your expectations and set
goals that can be achieved.
Value your ‘real’ treasure:
family/whanau, friends, health,
achievements – these are
what count.
Take a break – step out of your
normal routine for a few hours
or days.
Try to look after yourself: eat
and drink sensibly and get
enough sleep.
Where do I go to
get help if I am
depressed?
Getting through Financial Stress
inancial pressure is a real
issue for many farmers. The
best way to get through
is lots of talking, says founder
and director of Masterton based
farm accountants, RURAL CA Ltd,
Lawrence Field.
“Stress from low returns,
a poor season, high debt
levels or over spending will
only build and lead to more
serious health issues, if not
openly communicated,” he says.
“Starting with your partner, a
frank and honest assessment
of the situation needs to be
undertaken. Pick up the phone
and share your concerns with
your accountant, consultant
or banker; before things get
any worse.”
Lawrence knows first-hand the
impact these pressures can have.
When sharemilking in Southland,
having tripled the size of his herd,
and won the National Sharemilker
of the Year in 1995, he was
diagnosed with depression.
7
If you think you may be/are
depressed, the best place
to start is discussing this
with your doctor or health
professional.Ask for a check
up to see if there are physical
problems or medications
causing your depression.
Your healthcare professional
can help you get the right
treatment for you.
•
•
•
Lawrence Field
money stress and seek help,”
says Lawrence.
“Budgets, cash flows and
good tax planning will all help to
quantify what the real financial
issues are. Addressing any
money stress as soon as possible
is critical. The best day to start
is today.”
•
•
•
•
Medication may help.
Professional mental health
support from a counsellor or
psychologist may also help.
Discuss this option with your GP.
Take time to learn about
depression.
Learn to watch out for your
particular symptoms and triggers
and how best to manage these.
Keep reading, keep learning,
keep informed and try to remain
positive about getting through
your depression.
www.depression.org.nz/rural
0800 111 757
Getting the Right Help
8
Q&A A
How do I find a
counsellor and/
or doctor?
Choosing a doctor
or therapist
•
If you are happy with your GP –
stick with them.
• If you are not happy with your
GP or you don’t have a GP –
the best thing to do is ask
around your family and friends
to see who they recommend.
• Ideally your GP will recommend
a suitable practicing therapist
who will meet your needs.
Here are some questions you might
like to ask a prospective mental
health professional:Call the prospective therapist
and ask:• What training and experience
do they have?
• What references do they have?
• How long are the sessions?
• How many sessions do they
average per client?
How can I work out if a doctor or
therapist is right for me?
Choosing the right doctor and/or
therapist can be difficult – but it is
important you find one who will
best fit your needs. Some things
you might like to consider are:• Do they have a manner you feel
comfortable with?
• Do you feel confident about
them as a person and as a
practitioner?
• Do they listen to what you have
to say?
• Do they ask you questions?
• Are they caring and empathic?
If you feel the practitioner you have
selected or are recommended is not
compatible – you have the right to
choose another person or service.
If you feel your GP or therapist has
been particularly helpful – recommend them to others.
GP is a good place to
seek help and advice
when symptoms of
stress, anxiety or depression
are ongoing, getting worse or
affecting everyday life.
“They can help you work out
what your main concerns are
and guide you on the next step
to getting through,” says Clinical
Psychologist, Sarah Donaldson.
“Just like any other illness,
sometimes medication is a
valuable (often temporary),
option to provide some relief
from symptoms. Your GP can
work out if medication is right
for your situation,” she says.
“Even supplements can help
boost vitality and ability to cope.
Farmers spend thousands every
year on drenching their stock,
and the occasional “drench” of
vitamins like Omega 3, iron or
B12, can make a big difference
to immunity and energy levels.”
However Donaldson says it is
important to seek supplements
through a GP rather than
randomly picking up any old
multivitamin, as blood tests can
help identify any deficits.
GP’s are also great
at knowing what other
professionals may be helpful for
addressing emotional health.
There are lots of different
services and people in the
“helping profession” and it can
be very confusing to work out
who to go to.
The local District Health
Board (DHB) incorporates
both The Community Mental
Health Service (adults) and
the Child, Adolescent Mental
Health Service (young
people and families). These
two teams run an after
hours crisis service which is
available 24 hrs for urgent or
critical help by phoning
0508 432 432 Wairarapa,
0800 653 357 Tararua.
Compass Health provides
a programme called “To be
Heard” which GP’s can access
for patients when short term
support for emotional health
issues is required.
There are a wide range
of individual professions in
the public and private sector,
who provide assistance,
including clinical psychologists,
psychiatrists, counselors,
psychotherapists, social
workers, nurses and more.
Clinical psychologists who are
people who have specialised
training in the diagnosis and
psychological treatment of
mental health - they often
use specific strategies or
interventions as well as talking
through issues. Psychiatrists are
doctors who have specialised
training in mental health but
can also prescribe medication.
Counsellors may offer general
guidance or may have
specialised training in a certain
Sarah Donaldson, Clinical Psychologist at work on her own farm.
area, for example abuse, grief or
relationships. Psychotherapists
also specialise in personal
and mental health issues with
an emphasis on using the
therapeutic relationship to
aid recovery. In addition there
are many other professions
who work in this area such
as Social Workers, Nurses,
Occupational Therapist etc.
Because it is confusing, a GP
will have a good idea about
what services and professionals
are available in the local area
and can suggest those which
may be most suitable for a
particular need.
“Remember– recovery
does not happen instantly
in one session so rather than
write it off as a “waste of time”,
give the process a chance,”
Donaldson says. “If the “fit” does
not feel right, this may not be
the right person or approach for
you – and it is OK to choose to
try another provider.”
Confidentiality - How it works
I
t is vital in any medical or
therapeutic relationship that the
person seeking help, trusts that
what they are discussing is private
and confidential. This is often a
particular concern for people living
in a small or rural community.
Health professionals are bound
by their profession’s code of ethics
to maintain client confidentiality.
This should be discussed at the
start of contact so boundaries
can be clearly set out and agreed
upon. As a general rule health
professionals have to gain client’s
consent to disclose information
about them to anyone else even
their GP or spouse, although often
it is in the client’s best interests if
this communication can occur.
There are limits to confidentiality. If
a health professional is concerned
that someone’s safety is at risk,
they need to act on this to prevent
harm to anyone.
In a small community there
is always the issue of running
into each other in other social
contexts. This can be addressed
during the first consultation
by agreeing how situations
will be handled should they
arise - for example, agree to no
acknowledgement, a nod and
smile or full acknowledgment.
Where possible it is
usually better to see a health
professional who isn’t personally
known, so the relationships don’t
get muddled.
Feeling down? Your Doctor can help
A
GP can help those feeling
low or suffering from
depression to get the
right support, and make contact
with the right services quickly to
ensure the person is on the road
to recovery as soon as possible.
When making an
appointment with your doctor,
it is recommended to book a
longer appointment to allow
enough time to talk through
what is going on. Many people
find it helpful to take along
someone they trust for extra
support during and after
the appointment.
Depending on personal
needs, the GP may want to
refer to another mental health
specialist. This referral would
be completely confidential, and
would ensure the best possible
support and care.
Depression is common, and
not talked about enough. Your
doctor can support you and your
loved ones to get back on the
road to recovery. lf you have any
concerns about depression, or
have any of the symptoms listed
in this publication, talk to your
doctor, they are here to help.
- Carterton Medical Centre
The Way Through is to
Admit Problems and Seek Help
Going it Alone is Not The Way!
Vince Monk
D
airying has been Vince
Monk’s life. Most of it
spent in the Wairarapa on
his family’s farm. Vince’s parents
experienced many difficult
years, but they always had family
and a great neighbourhood
community to help them
through. As most rural people
do, they showed a stoicism to
close ranks and get on with it.
As a child Vinnie knew nothing
of difficult times as he was
mostly shielded from them by
his loving parents.
As an adult, Vince and his
late wife Faye did the same
with their children, through the
weather and financially driven
difficult years
“For all of us, life will be
difficult at some point – this is
life’s reality,” Vince says. “If we
haven’t considered this, we
should! When our dreams crash,
we will struggle. Our hope and
relationships are important, and
should be held on to through the
bad times.”
Vince has experienced his
share of difficult times, but with a
willingness to accept he needed
help, he has survived.
Vince’s nephew took his life
some years back – Vince was
the one to find him. Words fail
to describe how he felt. “My
shock was nothing compared to
the utter anguish of my sister.
This is her youngest (26)…..!”
Looking back now, he says it
was adrenalin that kept him
going. But the big hit came later,
then the questions….” we are,
however, blessed with a great
family and community – all
walking with my sister through
those difficult and emotional
times. Vince, a practicing Catholic
says “Our faith was shaken as
to the whys etc. though, that
is natural. It really helped that
our family took a long time of
shared grieving, and we drew
strength from each other. Suicide
is very difficult to come to
terms with…a quick fix for one,
becomes a life sentence for their
families and friends! I can still see
their faces….Why, Why….?”
Through this experience,
Vince is emphatic that problems
must be shared early. “This is a
case when “she’ll NOT be right, ”
he says.
“Going it alone is not the
way…we like to share the good
times when on a high, though
harder, it is even more important
to share/relate to those closest as
life deals a bad hand.”
On top of suicide, Vince has
had to deal with even more
tragedy – as Faye was diagnosed
with cancer in 2009. Over three
years they lived with cancer
hanging over them – especially
the hope that they would beat it.
“I can see the hope generated by
the dedicated medical teams, as
with any medical condition, even
cancer, there is hope of a cure.
You do what needs be done and
get on with life,” he says.
After a short respite, the
cancer was diagnosed again
and this brought with it what
Vince describes as “a real sense
of failure”. Months later, this lead
to grief, when told nothing else
could be done. “From this point,
we felt all hope being whittled
away. During this time, we had
each other and close family – it
was not a topic for discussion
really, while living and praying
in hope, deep down you know
where this is going to end.
“With any tragic or traumatic
event, there comes first a sense
of the unreal; it’s when this
wears off we become vulnerable
to depression – despair etc.
Unfortunately these can drive
us inward at the time when we
should be talking openly to those
closest to us, our relationships
are Number One, two and
three etc. This includes family,
business partners, friends and
professionals.”
Two months after the first
anniversary of his wife’s death,
Vince “crashed and nearly
9
Q&A
Suicide
What are the
signs that
someone may be
suicidal?
Warning signs may
include:-
Vince Monk
burned!” He remembers clearly
thinking, “OMG, another year
to live through.” This led to two
bouts of what he describes as
“hopelessness and physical
inertia”, which he likens to seeing
“the black dog” of depression.
“My vivid recollection was of
a black hole in which I was
hanging by my fingers, and
slipping…”
Following the second
bout Vince rang a friend who
suggested talking with a priest
he knew, for help. “I was scared,
but I knew I needed help from
someone special. When we
feel that we are ‘struggling’, it
is time to pause and realign
our perspective. ‘Struggling’
may sometimes be a physical
condition, but it always is a state
of mind,” he says.
Vince suggests for others
experiencing difficulties, the
appropriate therapy could be
to ease the physical pressure,
slow the pace, rest or reduce
the workload. “Great responses,
if and when available,” he says.
“Regardless of whether or not we
have control over the physical
causes of the ‘struggle ’, we always
have control over how and what
we think while going through the
struggle,” he says.
“I have given thought to
why I survived. There are three
reasons, really. One was my faith
in God, it was only when I gave
Him back my problems, that
the old me began to surface.
Without my faith and a caring
community, I’m not sure how I’d
be now. When down, we do need
SOMEONE to GIVE our troubles
to!! The second was the love of
my three daughters and the third
the friends who keep ringing for a
chat. I know now how lucky I am!”
“Let us be very HONEST with
ourselves EACH day; we all need
help sometimes.”
Relationships are more
important than other
stuff………….
•
Ongoing depression and
withdrawal from people
and activities.
•
Frequent negative comments
about self eg I’m no use to
anyone.
•
Talking, writing or thinking
about death, dying or suicide.
•
Seeing no future in the future.
•
Giving away previously valued
possessions.
•
Any unexpected interest in wills
and insurance.
•
Rage, anger, seeking revenge.
•
Feeling trapped.
•
Having feelings of hopelessness
and helplessness.
The presence of warning signs
does not necessarily identify
when, or even if, a person will
attempt suicide.
Suicide risk can vary day to day or
even hour to hour.
Any thoughts, talk or writing about
suicide should be taken seriously.
10
Q&A “I
What do I do if
someone feels
suicidal?
•
Take their thoughts and
feelings seriously without
being judgemental
•
Keep talking with them and
listen to them
•
Ask them directly if they are
thinking of killing themselves.
If yes… ask them if they have
a plan. If yes….ascertain how
advanced their plan is. If
advanced…call the DHB
Crisis Service on 0508 432 432
Wairarapa people and 0800
653 357 Tararua people.
•
Remove any obvious means for
example medications, poisons, weapons
•
Keep yourself and them as safe
as possible
•
Call 111 if you feel there is a
danger to the person or yourself
•
Stay with them until help arrives
•
Consider taking them to the
DHB Crisis Team or the Emergency Department yourself
•
If there is no immediate threat
of suicide encourage them to
visit their doctor, counselor or
other healthcare professional
•
Encourage the person to think
of some positive aspects of
the future – something to look
forward to, a sense of hope
If someone can see hope in the
future – suicide is preventable.
Suicide prevention is not just about
preventing the person from dying
it is about convincing the person
there is a reason for living.
Life is Precious – There is Always
A Way Through
love living – I couldn’t think
about being sad now –
I love life too much,” says
22-year old Jordyn Coulston.
Jordyn is studying for a
Bachelor of Arts degree and
looking forward to a future
teaching and doing mission work
overseas – but life hasn’t always
been positive.
As a teen Jordyn went
through severe depression,
cutting herself as a cry for help
and having vague suicidal
thoughts in the back of her mind.
After living a happy and
healthy childhood in Tinui and
Rangitumau, things started
to get tough at 16. When a
relationship broke up, Jordyn felt
bad about herself. “As a 16 year
old everything was about boys
and this break up made me feel
I wasn’t good enough,” she says.
Her response was to spend three
years drinking, doing drugs and
sleeping around in an effort to fill
the big empty void that was her
life. “I was constantly putting on
the face of being ok to the outside
world, but inside I was broken
and searching. . I kept putting
myself in harmful and dangerous
situations, somehow thinking that
I would find comfort – but I never
did,” she says.
“I was cutting myself because
I got so worked up that it was
something I could do to take my
mind off things. I see now it was
a cry for help because I would
pretend I was trying to keep it
hidden, but actually I wanted
someone to see and help me
feel better.”
When Jordyn left school she
joined the navy – something she
had always wanted to do. But
instead of turning her life around
as she had hoped – things got
worse. When she broke her pelvis
in a training accident, she had
to return home, causing her to
hit rock bottom, feeling she had
nothing - everything she had
wanted was no longer possible.
She didn’t want to get out of bed
and couldn’t make herself do
anything – “It wasn’t my pelvis, it
was my mind that was broken,”
she says.
“I wouldn’t discuss my
feelings with anyone and I just
couldn’t see beyond where I was
at. It was like there was a veil
over everything and I couldn’t
see beyond it – while I never
seriously contemplated taking
my own life, I had thoughts of
what would it be like if I did.”
She eventually forced herself
out of bed – and back into the
old life of seeking comfort in
alcohol and sleeping with guys,
Fortunately for Jordyn help came
in the guise of an old school
friend. At the pub one night he
convinced her to go to his church
to talk. They went – at 2am – and
from there, through the help of
others, things started to change. It
took at least six months for Jordyn
to alter the way she felt about
herself and consequently the way
she acted – but it happened. Her
friend introduced her to other
young people who talked to her,
cared about her and showed
her another way of life. ”The
milestone for me was admitting I
had a problem and starting to talk
about it,” Jordyn says. “I was not a
christian, but it was entirely Christ
who changed my life. The people
at church led me to him and he
did the rest,” she says.
“Recovery is about seeking out
someone you can trust to talk and
being really honest about what you
are going through. I was lucky, I had
help and now I am alive and loving
life. Not everyone is so lucky.”
Jordyn Coulston (centre) graduating with a Diploma in Christian studies.
Living proof that there is hope when life hits rock bottom.
A 20-year-old family friend
of Jordyn’s recently took his
own life, something which has
devastated his family and friends.
“People don’t realise when they
get to that low state, that there
is a way through. They don’t see
how final and irreversible taking
their own life is, how much
value there is in every life, how
precious and wanted they are
to others and that life can go
on and be good again, even if it
doesn’t feel like it at the time – I
am proof of this.”
Because of what she has been
through personally, and because
of the death of her family friend.
Jordyn wants to help young people
to open up. “I encourage any young
person who is feeling down to
talk it through with someone they
trust, before they get to a point
that they feel they can’t go on. For
me it was God, for others it might
be their parents, a close friend,
or someone independent from a
service like Youthline. Everyone
wants someone to listen. Often,
because they don’t know how to
ask for help, they will do things
like drinking, cutting etc as a cry
for help, when what they really
want is for someone to notice
and act. Parents do actually know
some stuff and will love you
unconditionally through times
you need help, your local church
will have someone who can listen
and won’t judge, people who work
at places like Youthline want to
listen – they wouldn’t be doing it if
they didn’t.
“Life is precious, suicide is
devastating for those left behind,
and there is always a way through
even if it doesn’t seem like it.
“Life will be worth living again!”
Keeping your Farm Team
Fit and Healthy
F
“
armers grow and nurture
their stock to get the
best from them, and
they need to do the same
with young employees to
ensure they remain physically
and mentally strong and
resilient,” says Dairy NZ’s Senior
Consulting Officer, Wairarapa,
Leo Hendrikse.
“Keeping young workers
mentally and physically healthy
is a challenge for employers
especially during the busy times,
like spring,” he says.
Leo recommends the best
way to achieve this is to sit down
with employees and brainstorm
the kind of work place you all
want to be part of.
Set the Ground Rules
As a team work out the key
behaviours everyone needs
to demonstrate on a daily
basis. Possible behaviours
may include:• Being honest and open
• Treating others with
respect and understanding
• Doing the job well
• Resolving problems promptly
• Showing up on time
• Chipping in when needed
• Taking care of property
and equipment
• Respecting and caring
for stock
Give Feedback
Leo also suggests farmers
undertake regular reviews with
employees to keep the lines of
communication open. Positive or
corrective feedback is important
to keep staff motivated and
should be given as soon as the
behaviour is observed.
Feed them Well
Irregular, unhealthy eating and
insufficient food is common
among young farm workers.
It is important to ensure young
staff eat well. Some strategies for
better nutrition include:• Snacks during milking,
large breakfast, large lunch,
small dinner
• Supply capped water bottles
and real fruit juice instead of
soft drink
• At busy times, consider
supplying at least one
cooked meal a day as well as
•
Workers under 22 years old
need at least 9 hours sleep daily
•
Let adolescents sleep in two to
three times per week (rostered)
•
Young people want a social life
so make allowances for that
•
Give an afternoon off on a
rotational basis
•
At busy times supply at least
one cooked meal a day as
well as snacks
•
Have hot food readily available
so staff can come and go at any
time – do not expect them to
cook for themselves if they are
working long hours
Coach and Nurture
•
Leo says we have all had
a first job where learning
simple things was a challenge.
Nurturing and coaching young
people through this experience
can be extremely rewarding.
Have a shared breakfast or
lunch meeting at least once a
week for team building
•
Outline specific dangers, risks
and consequences in situations
beforehand as adolescents'
brains (under 25 years) don't
fully recognise these.
•
It's a steep learning curve on
your first 1-2 jobs, so be patient,
provide coaching and positive
feedback.
Leo Hendrikse
snacks for young staff living
on their own
Manage Busy Periods
During calving and other busy
times, it is important to plan
and organise in advance to
improve health and safety and
reduce stress.
• Arrange casual help to
relieve fulltime staff
• Plan the roster with a late
start mid-week for young staff
to let them have a sleep in to
keep them fit and healthy
• Encourage team concern for
one another
• Keep a close eye on staff. If
someone is not coping, allow
them to go home for a rest
•
If staff have small children,
plan longer lunch breaks to
allow them family time
Have a shared breakfast or
lunch meeting at least once
a week for team building.
•
Good work environments
nurture healthy happy staff
who will work and learn at a
much better level than those
who are not enjoying the role.
Common Ground Helps
C
ommon Ground is a place
for family, whanau and
friends to help their young
people in their lives enjoy positive
mental health and wellbeing.
It can be difficult to help
young people when they’re
going through challenging
times. That’s where Common
Ground comes in. The website
features advice, conversation
starters, warning signs and
sources of support for a range
of issues and challenges that
many young people face. It
aims to help worried loved ones
to guide their young people
in managing challenging
times in their lives, so they can
enjoy positive mental health
and wellbeing.
The website has a great webseries, a phone line (through
Youthline), and an information
pack service.
www.commonground.org.nz
Game-style Tool to
Combat Youth Depression
S
PARX is an online gamestyle tool to help young
people develop skills
to deal with feeling down,
depressed or stressed. The selfhelp e-therapy tool teaches
young people the key skills they
need to help combat depression
and anxiety. It was developed
by a team of researchers from
the University of Auckland, and
has been made available for
free online
SPARX uses proven cognitive
behavioural therapy (CBT)
techniques in a youth-friendly
game format, to teach young
people how to cope with
Q&A
How Can I Help
Young Staff?
Sleep is Vital
Everyone needs sleep for
physical and mental restoration.
Inadequate sleep can cause a
lot of problems for staff and
their employers. “When staff get
tired, mistakes are more likely to
happen, so make sure they are
encouraged to develop good
sleep patterns and roster a late
start at least once a week to allow
them to have a sleep in,” Leo says.
11
negative thoughts and feelings,
and think in a more balanced
way. As well as the SPARX
e-therapy programme, the
website also offers a mood quiz
to help young people identify
depression and information on
where to get help. A partnership
with Youthline and Lifeline has
also been established to provide
clinical back up support to
SPARX users.
The phone line 0508
4 SPARX is staffed by
professional counsellors.
https://sparx.org.nz
Youth Clinics
Carterton Medical Centre
159 High St
Tuesday 3 to 6 pm;
Friday 3 to 5 pm
Te Rangimarie Marae,
131 Cole St, Masterton
Monday to Friday 2 to 5 pm
Tararua Youth Drop In Centres
Provide support, advocacy,
advice, programmes and care for
young people aged 10 to 24
8 am to 5pm
25 Allardice St, Dannevirke,
Phone: (06) 374 9214
text 027 233 1566
183 Main St, Pahiatua,
Phone: (06) 376 6794
text 027 233 0059
Are you under 19?Sexual Health is FREE at any
Doctors-make an appointment
to see a Doctor or Nurse
Admitting a Problem is the
First Step to Well Being
12
Q&A
How can I be a
good listener?
•
Be an active listener – attentive,
focused, encouraging
and empathetic
•
Let the person get their
feelings out
•
Show you have heard and
understood by reflecting their
feelings back to them eg. “You
sound pretty annoyed”
•
Ask questions to make sure you
have understood their concerns
•
Be non-judgemental
•
Put aside your own problems
while you listen
•
Encourage the person to
keep to the subject rather
than digressing on to nonrelated issues
•
Try not to advise the person,
instead, go over possible
options for the person to
choose from
David Hunt
A
dmitting to suffering
depression is “one of the
hardest things” farmer
David Hunt has ever done. After
living through the experience when a farmer mate did not - he
has spoken out in the hope it
will change the culture in rural
communities and encourage
others to admit when they are
not coping and seek help.
“We need to do something
about this culture of not
admitting problems. More
people take their lives through
depression than road accidents,
but we are not talking about it. If
we don’t address the increasing
numbers of rural suicides, we are
letting farmers down, “ David says.
His personal experience was
frightening and lonely, but it was
others opening up to him about
their difficulties, that helped him
accept he had a problem. “There
is no shame in it, depression is
an illness that causes a chemical
imbalance in your brain, there’s
no choosing what illness you
get,” he says.
“As farmers, we live in
isolation, we’re very independent
people. We’re used to solving
problems on our own and
keeping our problems ourselves.
This has tragic consequences.
Three farmers I know took their
own lives in three years.”
Depression affected David
to the point that he couldn’t
work, he couldn’t drive and was
living on three hours sleep a
night. Little things became a
real issue as he battled to get
through each day. He says he
now knows it is usually the little
things that push people over
the edge. “Depression can be
caused by a major problem,
but it can equally just creep
up because of a series of little
things causing worries - financial
problems, extreme weather or
relationship breakdowns can get
the ball rolling. It is usually the
day-to-day things that tend to tip
someone over the edge. When
you are clutching at straws the
little things that go wrong can
feel like the end of the world.
When you are miles away from a
medical centre with no cellphone
reception, the isolation and
feeling of helplessness is tenfold.”
“With the stigma around
depression I didn’t want to
admit I had a problem, let alone
take medication.”
By the time David sought
help, his original doctor had left
the practice and he ended up
seeing several different locums,
offering different advice. “I
refused to take antidepressants,
and it almost killed me.”
For four years David went
back and forth from the farm to
the medical centre, and in that
time no-one recommended
counselling. When he didn’t
want to take medication, noone attempted to persuade him
to. In the end a combination of
counseling and medication is
what helped him get better.
“Its hard to believe that with
years of medical records showing
the same problem with no
improvement, that it wasn’t taken
a bit more seriously,” he says.
At that time a farming
colleague was feeling suicidal
and phoned the medical centre
for an emergency appointment
but was turned down and told
to come back the next week,
because they were fully booked.
He couldn’t wait and committed
suicide that weekend. “It’s tragic
that if there was better education
around depression and suicide
prevention, my colleague would
have got an appointment and
could be alive today,” says David.
“We need better education for
medical professionals and the
community as a whole - we need
to look after each other.”
David Hunt has lived through depression – to ensure his
continued mental good health, he now ensures he always takes
regular time out to do something he enjoys,
David acknowledges that
consistency of care is difficult to
achieve when the under-funded
rural medical centres struggle to
keep their GPs and there seems
to be a shortage of resources in
the rural health sector to cope
with the problem. But he says
medical practitioners need to be
aware that if a farmer is prepared
to make a long drive into town,
it is likely to be serious and
should not be taken lightly.
“We need people in our
communities to be concerned,”
he says. Unfortunately, not all
doctors are good at dealing with
depression and sometimes a
doctor simply isn’t the right fit
for you. It is important to find
someone you feel comfortable
with. If the first option isn’t
the right fit - then keep trying.
Sometimes you simply cannot
wait till next week – we need to
look out for each other. Farmers
– if you are struggling - admit
it, there is no shame. Friends
and family - look out for signs of
people around you not coping,
and really listen. Ensure they get
the right help – if its not working,
look somewhere else. It is
important and it will not wait!!!
“If you think someone is
struggling, be brave, pick up the
phone, knock on the door or
find someone who has a rapport
with that person to help. At least
you tried.”
Re-Engage in Life and You Can Build
A Great Future
W
ith a lifelong ambition
to be involved with
agriculture and the land
fulfilled, the last thing Grassmere
farmer, Doug Avery expected
was “a dice with the ‘black dog’ ”
(a metaphor for depression used
by Winston Churchill).
A happy young man, born
into a supportive family, Doug
enjoyed a good education and
lived for sport as a youngster.
When he left school it was to
follow his dream - agriculture.
Grassmere is a dry place,
with 574 mls the average annual
rainfall over 100 years. Doug was
ready for it – or so he thought. “I
had been born into dry,” he says.
However nothing prepared him
for what the droughts threw at
him!!! The worst came in 1998
when the lack of reward for
efforts had totally destroyed his
enthusiasm. “I kept telling myself
it would rain, but it did not,” he
says. “I had given up belief that
anything could ever relief me
of this living hell. I wanted to
run, but the property was of no
interest to anyone else. It was a
dust bowl, broken land, broken
bank balance and broken people.
“I sat at the computer
playing games by day – and
drank my pain away at night.
My journey to the farm each
day was so painful. Somehow
I managed to keep a few stock
in quality condition. When
I couldn’t sleep for a whole
night because of worry, I knew
it was time to sell some more
stock. I met some mercenary
buyers who drove the price of
stock to the basement. One
time I was getting a dollar per
lamb, and thanking the buyer
for taking them. I lost all sense
of hope, and every thread
of happiness.”
Doug’s turning point came
when a young CRT rep twisted
his arm to attend a seminar
on lucerne. He already had 50
hectares of it and didn’t feel
he needed to go, but he went
along reluctantly. That day gave
him hope. It forced him to start
learning and make a change –
Doug recommends practicing these five ways to happiness.
Credit: The Blokes Book Page 14
and life got better from there
on in. That day he realized that
Suicide is a permanent solution
to a temporary problem. I don’t
recall ever feeling like ending
my own life, but every day was
misery. That particular day of the
seminar I saw a glimmer of hope,
it gave me a small thread to cling
to and I started a new journey
of learning. I realised I had let
the drought consume my mind.
I was ready for the battle to get
back on with life.
“In life we all need some
reward for our efforts. I look
back at this time as my greatest
opportunity. It forced me to face
change, it made me learn about
myself and helped me grow
many new skills,” Doug says.
Doug now recognizes the signs
of depression setting in and
understands how to manage his
life to control his own journey.
”Fourteen days of sad is enough
to get your brain locked into
a sad place. I have worked out
what I need to avoid and how
when things get really bad I have
to engage NOW: I think, “what
can I do now to make things
better?”. Low gear, but it works.
After a few days in low gear
some success is usually found.
And then I can move up a gear,”
he says.
“I have learned that we all
have two circles - one of concern
- which is huge. That is all the
things we worry about. Inside
this is the circle of influence,
a tiny little dot. I have learned
to concentrate on my circle of
influence. When I did this my life
took off.
God, grant me the serenity to
accept the things I can’t change,
the courage to change the things
I can, and the wisdom to know
the difference.
W
way suits them. They welcome
those with mental health issues,
their family members and friends
needing support. Taking a holistic
or whanau ora view of a person’s
wellbeing, they help clients work
their way through the system,
breaking down barriers like
jargon for them. When other
support is needed they will put
clients in touch with agencies
and organisations to help them
on the path to wellness. Every
person and their situation is
unique – this organisation
has an understanding of how
factors such as spiritual, mental,
financial and family also impact
on recovery and will discuss
all these with clients to help
put them in the right direction
towards recovery.
“But the main thing to
remember is – any door is the
right door – look through this
publication and choose a door
that suits you. And if it turns out
not to be the right fit – it’s OK to
try another.”
The
Journal
Doug Avery – proof that by “reengaging in your life you can build a
great future”.
I avoid negative people.
Our brains are always in need
of lifting, positive thoughts,
positive actions. I have a
library of “one liners”, which
I call fast food to the brain
- like “It’s not how many times
you get knocked down that
counts, it’s how many times
you get up”.
The battle back to “happy”
was the greatest effort of my life,
but the reward far greater than
ever imagined. I now live a life
which is greater that any I could
have ever thought could be
mine. I know that where I go is
my own choice.
“My learning - Life is hard everyone finds this. Accept this
as the road.”
Always remember the five
ways to happiness – Connect with people around you; Give
- of your time and learning; Take
notice - of what is happening
around you and appreciate the
little things; Keep learning –
learn and teach, teach and learn
more; Be active - your body will
love you for this.
“By re engaging in life you
can build a great future.”
A Maori Perspective
hen mental health
issues strike, there are
numerous places to go
for help. For rural people, living
an isolated life and having never
needed this type of service
before, it is sometimes hard to
know just where to go as the
first point of call.
For those with a GP they feel
comfortable with, this is always
a good option – but “any door is
a good door” says Jason Kerehi.
“The main thing is to see someone
– if they are not the right place
– they will be sure to find you
somewhere that is,” he says.
“What is important is to seek
help as early as possible, before a
little thing becomes even bigger.
For Maori who don’t have a GP
to turn to, a good place to start
would be Te Hauora Runanga
o Wairarapa. This organisation
works within a kaupapa Maori
framework, however everyone
– not just Maori – are welcome
to use the service. Many nonMaori have found the kaupapa
13
Jason Kerehi
Sir John Kirwan
There are
Things You Can
Do to Find a
Way Through
Depression
Sporting legend Sir
John Kirwan has
taken the lead in
promoting mental
health and managing
depression….
He is now the coach for “The
Journal” - a successful online
management programme for
New Zealanders experiencing mild
to moderate depression.
The Journal teaches techniques
which can be used in every day life
to help manage depression.
It can be accessed on
www.depression.org.nz/rural
Sir John fronts the television
and online advertising campaign
promoting “The Journal” .
This programme has been
successfully promoting mental
health, demystifying mental illness
and countering much of the stigma
and discrimination associated with
mental illness.
It has been particularly
successful in encouraging people,
particularly men, to acknowledge
that it is OK to seek help.
Q&A T
How can
neighbours and
friends help?
Family, friends and neighbours are
often the best people to assist –
simply because they are hopefully,
closer to the person who may be
under stress.
Ideally, if you are aware
that your friend or
family member may
be having a stressful
time or they seem a bit
depressed then:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Have the courage to raise your
concerns with them
Try to involve their partner or
family/whanau
Have the time available to
listen carefully, in a nonjudgemental manner, to their
response and actions
Listen carefully and encourage
discussion and opinions
Show you have understood
what you are being told
by reflecting back and
acknowledging their feelings
and ideas
Try to identify the things that
could be of concern to them
such as financial management,
animal management,
relationships or health
If necessary urge them to book
a double session with GP to talk
about how they are feeling. GP’s
are generally able to provide
appropriate medication and to
refer to a counsellor
The GP may believe the
person needs a referral to the
District Health Board Mental
Health Service
Always follow up with a
visit or phone call as to the
person’s progress. This gives
you an opportunity to confirm
your support.
Reaching Out – The Key to Getting
Through Depression
inui farmer and minister
Steve Thomson’s depression
crippled him for months
– but it was reaching out to his
community that was vital in his
recovery.
Government data has
found that rural kiwis are
very vulnerable to suicide –
particularly farmers who still
possess a “hard man” mentality
when it comes to mental health.
When Steve bought his Tinui
sheep and beef farm with a rural
bank loan in 1984, it was the
fulfilment of a lifelong dream. In
the months that followed, life on
the farm was good – but it was
short lived.
Later that year the
government changed and
interest rates on rural loans
soared. “Eventually they got
as high as 27 percent and
the government also cut the
supplementary minimum price
for sheep. So the ewes I bought
at the beginning of the year for
$30 were now only worth $2,”
he says.
By 1985 Steve’s debt had
doubled, his dream had crashed.
There was so much stress.
If that was not enough in
1988 New Zealand was struck by
severe drought , Steve;s farm was
hit hard and he was sent “over
the edge”.
His stress gave way to
Winston Churchill called, a “visit
from the black dog”, depression
which crippled him for six long
months.
“I didn’t want to go anywhere
or do anything. I felt I was going
crazy and that they were going to
come and put me in a home and
lock me up for good,” he said.
However rediscovering his
Christian faith and help from
those around him pulled him
through. Steve kept the farm and
30 years later still toils the land.
Credit: With thanks to Erin Kavanagh-Hall and the Wairarapa Times Age
14
Steve Thomson got through depression by reaching out for help
As well, since 2000 he has been
vicar of the Tinui Good Shepherd
Anglican Parish. His bout of
depression led him to rediscover
his childhood Christian faith,
and he now ministers to about
360 families, and works with
locals who also struggle with
depression and stress.
‘‘I woke up one morning
feeling pretty hopeless. My mind
was complete mush. I said to
my wife that I just couldn’t do it
anymore,” he says. “It was at that
point that I realised by admitting
I had a problem, I actually could
do it. I thought back to my
Christian past and called the local
vicar and asked if he’d come and
pray for me.’The vicar arrived
— and quickly realised Steve’s
problem was not a spiritual one.
Fortunately for Steve he helped
him to seek the right advice. “He
took me to see my GP who helped
me medically,” Steve says. A year
on anti depressant medication
improved his health, but it is not
the pills, it is the people who
rallied round when he needed
them, who he gives the most
credit for his recovery. So many
people helped me out, the vicar
in particular, he had been through
it all before,” he said.
“The support and help from
my wife and family, my GP,
district nurse, counsellor, farm
adviser, bank manager and
lawyer got me through”.
Steve also attended a stress
management course where he
met other “kiwi blokes” with the
same struggles.
Seeking help was the
significant catalyst for his
recovery, but Steve understands
that because of geography
and feeling isolated not all kiwi
farmers are as lucky.
“It is difficult for kiwi men to
ask for help, but it is crucial that
they do,” he says.
“I work with a lot of people in
crisis, most of who haven’t sought
help til the s*** hit the fan. Farmers,
like me, need to realise that they do
have a problem and admit there is
something wrong. The sooner they
can get help the better.
“Many farmers are unaware
the catastrophic role stress can
play in their lives. It is really
important for rural men to know
that they are not the only one
going through depression –
there are others out there going
through the same thing. There is
no shame in asking for help.”
Support Services
East Coast Rural Support Trust
The East Coast Rural Support
Trust’s role is to facilitate
support for rural people
and communities during
difficult personal, financial
or climatic times. They can
assist with talking through
the issues and referrals to
appropriate professional
help for stress, depression,
mentoring, financial and farm
management. The Trust helps
with extreme events such as
Tararua Co-ordinator Bill Wallace
flooding, drought and snow
storms. When an adverse event
is declared they are able to
access Government funding and
support agencies to help rural
individuals and communities
get back on their feet.
The Trust’s services are
free and confidential and the
coordinators will travel to
where required for anyone
needing assistance. They can be
contacted on 0800 787 254.
Wairarapa Co-ordinator
David Marsh
Supporting Families Wairarapa
Jill Renata has been the Family/
Whanau support worker for
Supporting Families Wairarapa
for eight years and considers
herself privileged to have met
some lovely families from the
farming community. She has
assisted them to understand
mental illness and addiction
in a family member or a friend
and advocated for them as
and when required. Jill offers a
mobile service and is available to
see families/individuals in their
homes, at Supporting Families
office or at a cafe. “If you just
need someone to talk to, I’m
there to listen,” Jill says.
Supporting Families
Wairarapa offers a free and
confidential service supporting
families/whanau and carers of
people experiencing mental
health issues.
Supporting Families,
323 Queen St, Masterton 5810,
Phone 06 377 3081
Like Minds, Like Mine (LMLM)
It is all about hope and recovery
at Like Minds Like Mine
Wairarapa.
The LMLM team led by
Corrinne Oliver operates out of
Supporting Families. “We are
a great hub of resources and
because no two people are
the same, we can help each
individual in the way they need
to be helped,” Oliver says.
LMLM is a national, publicly
funded programme aimed
at reducing the stigma and
discrimination associated with
mental illness.
Around the world,
stigma and discrimination has
been shown to be one of the
major barriers to a person’s
recovery. But changing
attitudes and behaviour in
society is complex, so the LMLM
programme works on a variety
of levels. “People go away feeling
uplifted and empowered,”
says Oliver.
Workshops, which are
open to all, are led by people
with lived experience of
mental illness who share their
stories of hope and recovery.
Upcoming workshops are
planned in Greytown, Carterton,
15
Tararua Family Services (TFS)
“Honouring our values of
love, service and justice”
TFS has worked in the Tararua
area for over 20 years covering
the area from Norsewood
down to Dannevirke and
Woodville/Pahiatua/
Eketahuna.
TFS employs counsellors,
social workers and social
workers in schools. Their
service is for parents, whanau,
children and young people
living in the Tararua area who
may experience mental health
issues, parenting issues, are
experiencing abuse and/or
have witnessed violence. They
accept self- referrals or referrals
from agencies involved with
the family/whanau.
Counselling can be
provided either in their
The Wairarapa Blokes Book is free.
Almost all the services in it are free
too!!!
No Wairarapa male should be
without a copy.
About the Blokes Book
Practice Manager Wendy Baker
(left) with Heather Moller, General
Manager Child, Family and
Community Services for Anglican
Care Waiapu.
Dannevirke or Woodville
offices. Social workers provide
support in the community.
Practice Manager:
Wendy Baker
8 Ward Street, Dannevirke,
Phone 06 374 5029 , email :
office.tfs@wasstb.com
Whaiora Wairarapa
Whaiora is a “Place of
Wellness”.
Whaiora offers support
to those in need and their
whanau. They will “walk with
you along a path to wellness.”
All services are face-to-face, in
the client’s home or wherever
it is most convenient. Kaikokiri
waiora - their wellness
professionals - include
registered nurses, qualified
social workers, educators and
community health workers.
For services other than the GP
service there is no cost to the
client. Whaiora services are
private and confidential. They
support the client’s choices
to improve and manage
their health. “Sometimes
this means working with
you to make a plan to keep
you on track. Information to
The Wairarapa
Blokes Book
The Whaiora Team
support you to follow your
plan is provided and we can
help you to receive a range of
other support services,” they
say. While Whaiora operate
from a uniquely Maori base,
their services are available
to all.
The Wairarapa Blokes Book aims
to make it easy for men to find
relevant health and social services
(acknowledging that there are
many kinds of “blokes” all with a
variety of health needs).
For those who have really hit
the wall there are the contacts to
help turn things around.
Then there are specific
sections to match specific needs.
These include suggestions for
maintaining health and wellbeing
– both physical and mental, and
a huge array of contacts for all
manner of things from - Physical
Health, Weight Loss and Exercise,
to Quitting Smoking, Sleep and
Snoring, and Budgeting and
Making Sense of Money. There is
also information and contacts for
Legal Help, Volunteering, Mens’
Shed, Habits and Addiction, Being
a Father, Aging and more.
Published by the Wairarapa
District Health Board,
based on and original book
by the Canterbury Men’s
Centre, this booklet can be
read online at http://www.
wairarapasocialservices.org.nz or
ordered by phoning 06 3779137
5 Park Street, Masterton
Phone: 06 370 0818, Toll Free:
0800 494 246
Email: tpp@whaiora.org.nz
Hours: Monday to Friday
8.30am to 5pm
Mental Health Crisis Team Process
Masterton and Eketahuna
Topics include Hearing Voices
that are Distressing, Stigma
and Discrimination, Korowai
Whaimana, Human Rights
and Be There, Stay Involved.
Workshops can be tailor-made
for groups of 10 or more to any
subject required. All workshops
are free and participants get a
resource pack and certificate
of attendance.
LMLM also operates a radio
station on 92.7FM. A member
of the local farming community
will interviewed each first
Monday of the month from
10-11am. The shows are also
recorded as podcasts which can
be downloaded from the radio
website www.arrowfm.co.nz
Like Minds Like Mine
323 Queen St, Masterton, Phone
027 294 9027
When a person in distress
rings the Mental Health Crisis
line, the Crisis line clinician will
triage the severity of the issue
then refer to the appropriate
mental health service. As soon
as practically possible the team
nominated will then follow-up.
If there is immediate risk of a
person harming themselves or
others, the crisis line will call
police, then liaise with the local
team re timing and location of
an assessment for that person.
Assessments generally also
involve reviewing the case
with a duty psychiatrist and
an appropriate treatment plan
is put in place to manage the
person’s concerns.
The Tararua Mental Health
Crisis Team number is
0800 653 357.
The Wairarapa Mental
Health Crisis Team number is
0508 432 432
Stopping Violence Services Wairarapa
Stopping Violence provides
anger management, violence
prevention, parenting, and
other associated family
support programmes and
services. Their counsellors
and facilitators are qualified
and highly experienced in
providing programmes and
services for men, women and
young people and their families
where anger, violence and
or abuse has been an issue.
They encourage and support
individuals and families
to develop violence-free
relationships that are based on
respect and equality, and to
model this to their children or
others in their lives.
Programmes and services
are free of charge, however
donations/koha are welcomed
Level 3 31 Chapel Street
Masterton , Phone 06 377 0933
Email admin@svsw.org.nz
Web www.svsw.org.nz
Mental Health Providers and
Support Services
16
IN A CRISIS
SITUATION
Contact the District Health Board Crisis Service 24 hours
7 days on 0800 653 357 Tararua
0508 432 432 Wairarapa
If you or someone you know needs urgent help – call 111
RAIN FROM NOWHERE
poem by
Murray Hartin
His cattle didn’t get a bid, they were fairly bloody poor,
What was he going to do? He couldn’t feed them anymore,
The dams were all but dry, hay was thirteen bucks a bale,
Last month’s talk of rain was just a fairytale,
His credit had run out, no chance to pay what’s owed,
Bad thoughts ran through his head as he drove down Gully Road.
Geez, great grandad bought the place back in 1898,
Now I’m such a useless bastard, I’ll have to shut the gate.
Can’t support my wife and kids, not like dad and those before,
Crikey, Grandma kept it going while Pop fought in the war.
With depression now his master, he abandoned what was right,
There’s no place in life for failures, he’d end it all tonight.
There were still some things to do, he’d have to shoot the cattle first,
Of all the jobs he’d ever done, that would be the worst.
He’d have a shower, watch the news, then they’d all sit down for tea
Read his kids a bedtime story, watch some more TV,
Kiss his wife goodnight, say he was off to shoot some roos
Then in a paddock far away he’d blow away the blues.
But he drove in the gate and stopped – as he always had
To check the roadside mailbox – and found a letter from his Dad.
Now his dad was not a writer, Mum did all the cards and mail
But he knew the writing from the notebooks that he’d kept from cattle sales,
He sensed the nature of its contents, felt moisture in his eyes,
Just the fact his dad had written was enough to make him cry.
Son, I know it’s bloody tough, it’s a cruel and twisted game,
This life upon the land when you’re screaming out for rain,
There’s no candle in the darkness, not a single speck of light
But don’t let the demon get you, you have to do what’s right,
I don’t know what’s in your head but push the bad thoughts well away
See, you’ll always have your family at the back end of the day
You have to talk to someone, and yes I know I rarely did
But you have to think about Fiona and think about the kids.
I’m worried about you son, you haven’t rung for quite a while,
I know the road you’re on ‘cause I’ve walked every bloody mile.
The date? December 7 back in 1983,
Behind the shed I had the shotgun rested in the brigalow tree.
See, I’d borrowed way too much to buy the Johnson place
Then it didn’t rain for years and we got bombed by interest rates,
The bank was at the door, I didn’t think I had a choice,
I began to squeeze the trigger – that’s when I heard your voice.
You said ‘Where are you Daddy? It’s time to play our game’
I’ve got Squatter all set up, we might get General Rain.’
It really was that close, you’re the one that stopped me son,
And you’re the one that taught me there’s no answer in a gun.
Just remember people love you, good friends won’t let you down.
Look, you might have to swallow pride and take that job in town,
Just ’til things come good, son, you’ve always got a choice
And when you get this letter ring me, ’cause I’d love to hear your voice.
Well he cried and laughed and shook his head then put the truck in gear,
Shut his eyes and hugged his dad in a vision that was clear,
Dropped the cattle at the yards, put the truck away
Filled the troughs the best he could and fed his last ten bales of hay.
Then he strode towards the homestead, shoulders back and head held high,
He still knew the road was tough but there was purpose in his eye.
He called his wife and children, who’d lived through all his pain,
Hugs said more than words – he’d come back to them again,
They talked of silver linings, how good times always follow bad,
Then he walked towards the phone, picked it up and rang his Dad.
And while the kids set up the Squatter, he hugged his wife again,
Then they heard the roll of thunder and they smelt the smell of rain.
Keep this publication
for future reference – it
contains lots of relevant
and useful information.
Central PHO
Access to health and social services
for people experiencing mild to
moderate mental health issues.
Central PHO.
For all young people aged 10 to
24, all people with Community
Services Card, all Maori or Pacific
Island people.
3 Centre Street, Pahiatua
(06) 354 9107 or 0800 766 255
http://www.centralpho.org.nz/
Child and Adolescent Mental
Health Services - CAMHS
Provides mental health
information, assessment,
treatment and support options
for children/tamariki and young
people /rangatahi aged 0 – 18yrs
and theirwhanau/ families.
20 Victoria St, Masterton. (06) 946 9808
After hours Mental Health crisis 0508 432-432
Compass Health Wairarapa
“To Be Heard” provides access to
support and counselling
Phone:06 370 8055
East Coast Rural Support Trust
See page 15 for services provided
They can be contacted on
0800 787 254
http://eastcoast.rural-support.org.nz
Family Works Wairarapa
Provides a range of services
including parenting support,
budgeting advice, social work
and counselling
Phone : (06) 308 8028
www.psc.org.nz
King Street Art Works
“Help Yourself to the Healing
Power of Art”. A free creative
space for people who use, or
who have used mental health
services, and their family/whanau
and friends
16 Queen Street,
Masterton. (06)378 9777
Like Minds, Like Mine
See page 15 for services provided
323 Queen St, Masterton
Phone: 027 294 9027
www.likeminds.org.nz
Oasis Network Inc
Provides free peer advocacy service,
for people, and by people, who
have had experience of mental
health and /or addiction issues
in order to find solutions to the
barriers they may face.
0800 OASIS1(0800 627 471)
Email:
advocacy@oasisnetwork.org.nz
OUTline
Confidential telephone support
for the gay/lesbian community,
their family and friends
Phone: 0800 688 546
www.outline.org.nz
Pahiatua Community
Services Trust and Tararua
Early Years Services
Provides range of services
including maternal support, youth
support, social work and counselling
43 Main Street, Pahiatua
(06) 376 7608
Pahiatua Help-n-Hand
Advocacy and family
support services.
42 Main Street, Pahiatua
(06) 376 6759
Pathways and Workwise
Provides a range of support
services around housing, practical
daily living, employment and
being healthy, helping people with
experience of mental illness and
addictions to live well in the
communities of their choice
Waiata House, 27 Lincoln Road,
Masterton Phone: Pathways: (06)
370 6101 Workwise: (06) 370 6103
Rangitane o Tamaki nui a Rua
Provide a wide range of whanau
services including support for mental
health, general health, budgeting,
housing, alcohol and drug abuse,
family violence, and counselling.
10 Gordon Street, Dannevirke
(06) 374 6860
http://rangitane.co.nz/
Rangitane O Wairarapa Inc
Cultural and education
services, home-based
social work support. Social
services including counselling
for people affected by violence and
domestic relationship difficulties.
12 Korkiri Place, Masterton
Phone: (06) 370 0600
www.rangitane.iwi.nz
Stopping Violence Services
See page 15 for services provided
Level 3, 31 Chapel St, Masterton
Phone: (06) 377 0933
www.svsw.org.nz
Supporting Families in
Mental Illness
Provides support, advocacy and
education for families affected
by mental illness.
www.sfwai.org.nz
323 Queen St, Masterton.
Phone (06) 377 3081
40 Denmark St, Dannevirke
(06) 374 8797
http://www.manawatusf.org.nz
Tararua Community Mental
Health Services
Referral by GP/primary health
provider or self-referral. Acute mental
health assessment, treatment,
education and support. Alcohol and
other drug counselling service.
Corner Barraud and Waterloo Streets,
Dannevirke (06) 374 7734,
Corner Main and Centre Streets,
Pahiatua (06) 376 7444
Mental Health Crisis Team 24 hour
service - 0800 653 357
Tararua Family Services
See page 15 for services provided
8 Ward St, Dannevirke
(06) 374 5029
Te Hoauro Runanga O
Wairarapa Inc
Kaupapa Maori mental health
support services. Alcohol and
drug counselling, education and
treatments services.
15 Victoria St, Masterton
Phone: (06) 378 0140
www.tehauora.org.nz
Wairarapa Adult Mental
Health Service
Provides mental health
information, assessment,
treatment and support options for
people over 18 years. 24/7 Mental
health crisis response. Clinical
consult liaison for primary care,
and local agencies / services
Hospital Campus Te Ore Ore Road,
Masterton (06) 946 9805 24 hour
crisis line 0508 432-432
Wairarapa Suicide
Prevention Group
The group includes representatives
from Mental Health &
Addiction Services, Iwi, Maori
health providers, Child Youth and
Family, Secondary schools, Primary
Health Organisation, bereaved and
Non Government Organisations.
Chair: Jane Mills | (06) 377 9137
Jane.mills@wairarapa.dhb.org.nz
Whaiora Wairarapa
See page 15 for services provided
5 Park Street, Masterton
Ph (06) 370 0818
Whanau Ora Wairarapa
Wrap around support services
tailored to your needs. See
page 15 for services provided
151 Renall St, Masterton
Ph (6) 377 5347
NATIONAL AGENCIES
Suicide Prevention Helpline
– 0508 828 865
Depression Help Line
– 0800 111 757
Youthline – 0800 376 633
Lifeline – 0800 543 354
(0800 LIFELINE)
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Alcohol & Drug Helpline –
0800 787 797
Gambling Helpline –
0800 654 655
USEFUL WEBSITES
www.depression.org.nz/rural Ideal for adults
www.thelowdown.co.nz - Ideal
for younger people
www.youthline.co.nz - Ideal for
young people
www.likeminds.org.nz - Like
Minds Like Mine
www.mentalhealth.org.nz - The
Mental Health Foundation
www.areyouok.org.nz Information about family violence,
what it is, where to get help and how
you can help if you know someone
affected by family violence
www.wairarapasocialservices.org.nz