Non-Profit
US Postage
PAID
Omaha, NE
#284
P.O. Box 540852, Omaha, NE 68154
mail@tcfomaha.org
May-June 2013
402-571-4011
correo@tcfomaha.org
facebook.com/tcfomaha
www.tcfomaha.org
Mission Statement: When a child dies, at any age, the family suffers intense pain and may feel hopeless and isolated.
The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death
of a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister, or a grandchild, and helps others better assist the grieving family.
Spanish/Español - page/pagina 4
Address Service Requested
Please send stories, poems or love gifts by
June 1, 2013
newsletter@tcfomaha.org
MEETING TIMES AND LOCATIONS
For parents, grandparents and siblings over 18
SUPPORT GROUP MEETING
7:00 p.m. — 1st Thursday of the month
New Cassel Retirement Center
900 N. 90th Street —Auditorium Level 2, Omaha
DINNER NO FORMAL MEETING *NEW TIME*
6 pm—2nd Tuesday of the month
Tish’s Restaurant, 1115 S 35 Street, Council Bluffs
May 7
CALENDAR(
Omaha Meeting
Guest speakers—(birthdays/anniversaries)
May 9
Fremont Meeting @ FAMC
May 14 Council Bluffs Dinner Meeting
May 15 Reunion En Espanol
May 20 Angels Across the USA - Lexington NE
May 21 Avoca IA Meeting @ Trinity Lutheran Church
June 4
Steering Committee Meeting
June 6
Omaha Meeting
(Mens & Womens Small Groups)
REUNION EN ESPAŃOL NEW LOCATION
7:00 pm-3er miércoles de cada mes/3rd Wed. of every month
One World Community Health Center Conference Room
4910 S. 30th Street, Suite 103, Omaha
June 9 Omaha Walk to Remember
June 11 Council Bluffs Dinner
June 13 Fremont Meeting @ FAMC
June 18 Avoca IA Meeting @ Trinity Lutheran Church
National Office: The Compassionate Friends P.O. Box 3696 Oakbrook IL 60522-3696 (877) 969-0010 www.compassionatefriends.org
Nebraska Regional Coordinator: Kelly Pelster (402) 676-3670 tcfneb.kelly@gmail.com
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Love Gifts ∙ Address Change ∙ Authorizations
Mail to: The Compassionate Friends , PO Box 540852, Omaha, NE 68154
Your Name_____________________________________________________________________________________
Address_______________________________________Email____________ _______________________________
City___________________________ State _______ Zip ______________ Phone _____________________
Credit Card No: ___________________________CVC ___________ EXP _________
Date _______________
DIRECT MY GIFT TOWARD:
Gift of $___________
□ Outreach –printing, postage, phone, web
Angel of Hope
at Boys Town
Watch for a spring brick campaign mailer in
your mailbox. Additional 16x12 tiles are
now available. Be sure to visit when the
flowering trees are in bloom.
Unfortunately, there has been some damage due to vandalism. A weather allows, we
will be taking care of some brick maintenance and repair the damage. Families
were notified if their memorial was involved.
□ Spanish Support □ Angel of Hope □ Memorial Programs
In Memory of___________________________________________________________
Message:______________________________________________________________
2013 AUTHORIZATION—initial each selection
Publish my child’s name/dates in the newsletter as long as I am on the mailing list ______
Add my child’s name to the 2013 Walk to Remember Banner in my absence ______
Use my child’s photo in the 12-8-2013 Worldwide Candle Lighting Slide Show ______
Newsletters and notices will be sent electronically unless paper is requested ______paper
______Unsubscribe
Child’s Name __________________________________________________________________________________
Birth Date __________________Death Date ______________________Your Relationship____________________
SIGNATURE_REQUIRED_____________________________________________________DATE______________
The National Conference is a unique opportunity to be surrounded by a safe-haven
that comes along only once a year. See old friends and make new ones while learning coping mechanisms and skills that will help you and surviving family members
through the rough times. Over 100 workshops to choose from, keynote speakers,
ceremony with 1500 flickering candles representing children, and carry the chapter
banner in the National Walk to Remember in the streets of Boston. The Omaha
banner is always popular and others join in to carry the banner on the walk.
Conferences can be life-changing, and the Omaha Chapter Steering Committee encourages members to attend. We are offering to reimburse the registration fee for the 2013 national conference, for five members. One family is attending already—join Pete & Diana in Boston!
Restrictions

Presentation at monthly meeting about your experience

One time, one per family

Attend 8 of 12 local meetings per year

Attend entire conference
WISH LIST
$1000 Venue Sponsor for
Worldwide Candle Lighting 2013
$500 Program Sponsor for
Worldwide Candle Lighting 2013
Media Sponsor for
Worldwide Candle Lighting 2013
$1000 Materials Sponsor for
Worldwide Candle Lighting 2013
Leadership Training Sponsors
2014 Conference: Chicago
2015 Conference: Dallas
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♥ Gifts of Love ♥
There are no dues or fees to belong to The Compassionate Friends. Just as our chapter is run entirely by volunteers interested in furthering the work of
TCF, your voluntary, tax-deductible donations make it possible for us to mail this newsletter, host memorial events, keep our website, and continue our participation in the TCF/National, and meet other chapter expenses. Often, as they find hope and healing within the group, parents make a contribution usually
in memory of a child who has died or as a gift of thanksgiving for their surviving children. These contributions are our only source of funds. It is a meaningful
way to honor or children and we are grateful for your generous support. THANK YOU!
Love Gifts received 2/1/2013 through 3/31/2013
Angel of Hope
Rich & Linda Sehi
♥
Richie A. Sehi
8 years have passed, we love and
miss you so much!
Dave & Trish Derby
♥
Ginger Derby
Loved & Remembered to infinity & beyond!
Dave & Trish Derby
♥
Tracy Derby-Nemec
Loved & Remembered to infinity & beyond!
Pete & Amy Mullenberg
♥
Hadleigh Faith Mullenberg
John Sullivan
♥
Rebecca Ann Sullivan
Elmer & Carol Burhenne
♥
Steve W. Burhenne
Gone 27 years - Never Forgotten
Darrin & Melanie Petty
♥
Trevor Frederickson
Happy 25th Birthday ~ Love You!
American Express Charitible Fund Match
♥
Lyndsay Madison Bills
Kathryn Lea Coder
♥
General Fund
In memory of my father, James Joseph Lea.
James & Mable Lea were among the first
members of the chapter.
Curt & Vicki Barr
♥
Bradley Charles Barr
Love you - Forever
Arnold & Helen Epstein
♥
Michael Andrew Epstein
In memory of Michael on his
birthday February 21
Judy Rose
♥
Randy James Nunez
Judy Rose
♥
Lance Hannon
Gifts-in-Kind
Open to Hope Foundation
Book-Inspirational Stories of Healing
After Loss
Open to Hope Foundation
Book-Inspirational Stories for
Handling the Holidays
Open to Hope Foundation
Book-Teen Grief Relief
The Grief Toolbox, Inc.
Brochures for Welcome Folders
Robert Zucker (author)
Book-The Journey Through Grief & Loss
Caroline Flohr (author)
Book-Heaven's Child
Steve Butler (author)
Book-We Do Remember You
Memorial Programs
Rich & Linda Sehi
♥
Richie A. Sehi
Loving son, brother, grandson and
friend to all. We miss you.
Betty Harlow
♥
Chad Walter Harlow
We Love "U"
Linda Nielsen
♥
Guy Douglas Nielsen
Gone to the Beach
Don & Lila Schafer
♥
Kevin Lee Schafer
We Will See You in Heaven
Beth Pribil
♥
William Carl Drieling
David & Sharon Fruechtenicht
♥
Michaiah Delano Taylor
Outreach
Our Heaven Sent Star - Forever in our
Hearts
Darold & Shirley Ashcraft
♥
Charles Duane Moreland
Forever Loved & Missed
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PAGINA EN ESPAÑOL/SPANISH PAGE
Encontré esta linda mariposa en una de mis flores
favoritas y recordé lo que mi madre me decía “Las
Mariposas son Mensajes del mas allá” Mi madre
decía eso desde que mi hermano murió. Yo no creía
pero, después que mi hijo murió y encuentro una
mariposa como esta… entiendo… que cada uno de
nosotros podemos escoger algo para seguir adelante
en el camino. Mi madre creía en esos mensajes…
ahora yo también creo. (La mami de Carlitos)
¿Y usted… cree en algunos mensajes?
Los Amigos Compasivos/USA
La tristeza es parte de nuestra vida...
de nada sirve cambiar nuestras lágrimas
por una sonrisa falsa....
ríe cuando puedas desde el corazón
pero llora cuando lo necesites....
Stella Totro - Los Amigos Compasivos/USA
Pagina de Facebook de Los Amigos Compasivos en Omaha
https://www.facebook.com/LosAmigosCompasivosOmaha
Si desean enviar material para el próximo boletín
escriba a : correo@tcfomaha.org
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Memorial Scholarships— Our Children Live on Through Us—Their lives Touch Many.
MATTHEW HARTMANN After our son Matt passed away in 2008, our family decided to use the memorial money received to establish a college scholarship in his name. For us, this seemed to be a natural fit, as education was very important to Matt. He had graduated just five years earlier, at the top of
his class. The $1,000 scholarship is awarded each year to a graduating senior from Fremont Senior High School. The requirements for application are
simple, the student must have participated in at least one of the same activities that Matt participated in while he was in high school, and they must write a
short essay, The essay is used to help select a student who best reflect some of Matt's ideals. Each year we receive a large number of excellent applications, and have been very satisfied with our decision to use the memorial money in this way. Doug & Kathy Hartmann
JOSEPH RAMSPOTT After our son died we established an endowed scholarship at the school in Louisiana where he received his Master Degree. Almost every year since then we have received a nice note or letter from some young student who is working in the Biology field as our son was. These
notes are a voice to our son and are very welcome and rewarding to us to understand how in his name we have helped out someone else. The letter we
received recently was very touching. In the letter the recipient writes “Your generosity has inspired me to help others and give back to the academic community. I hope one day I will be able to help students achieve their goal just as you have helped me.” In telling a close friend about this I said it felt like I
was getting a message from our son Joe and it felt good to be able to do this as with his loss we do not have much else. It helped us through the day and
came shortly after his anniversary date (9 years) so was particularly meaningful. Ed & Pam Ramspott
BEVERLY RAMSPOTT In memory of my sister Beverly who died 29 years ago on April 12 my parents established a tradition of a small scholarship each
year to a student from the high school she attended. It is given each year to a new graduate who chooses to attend a junior college or a four year college
in Nebraska. My Mother continued this after my father died. Since 2007 after my Mother’s death we have also been able to continue this tradition. Usually
we also get a letter of thanks from the recipients and it is appreciated. Ed & Pam Ramspott
CHAD SCHOLL Our son, Chad Scholl, passed away two years ago at the age of 35. He was a pharmacist and worked in the home infusion field. The
Chad Scholl Memorial Scholarship (PHI DELTA THETA) given in memory of Chad N. Scholl, a 2001 graduate of the Creighton University School of Pharmacy and Health Professions and Spirit of Creighton Award winner. This scholarship is presented to an alumni member of Phi Delta Theta who emulates
Chad's high moral character, willingness to befriend others and strong record to the community. The recipient has demonstrated high academic performance and a true love of the pharmacy profession. We have a fundraiser every year to help fund this scholarship. The date of this years fundraiser is
August 17th. The evening includes a steak dinner, oral and silent auction, a poker tournament and a very relaxed evening of fun. Ginny Scholl
JOEL KUDYM Five years after our son, Joel Kudym, died friends and family volunteered to create a committee to organize a golf outing in order to raise
money for a scholarship in Joel’s memory. Along with the golf outing, there were raffle prizes and a silent auction at the award dinner following the golf
outing. We held this golf tournament annually for five consecutive years and it was successful beyond our wildest expectations. It truly was a labor of
love for Joel’s family and very rewarding celebrate Joel’s life and help students in their continuing education. We met so many wonderful people – prize
donors, golf participants, volunteers (lots of volunteers) and also many great kids who received the scholarships. We just couldn’t believe how people
were so willing to help. We filed the paperwork to become a 501c3 organization so we could invest the money and continue to give scholarships since we
no longer have golf tournaments. We have given out 18 scholarships. Some years we gave two (one year three) but now we are giving one scholarship
annually. Below is the information about our scholarship application. Joel Kudym attended Omaha Central High School from 1993 to 1996. Formal education was difficult for Joel, but he applied himself and graduated from Central in 1996. His life tragically ended June 18, 1997. The Kudym family started
a scholarship fund in 2002 with the first Annual Joel Kudym Memorial Golf Outing. Each year, family and friends celebrate Joel’s life and raise money to
help deserving students pursue their dreams of higher education. Each year the Scholarship Committee ranks applications based on a variety of factors. Factors include financial need, a strong will to succeed, community service and a good attendance record. The committee focuses on students who
clearly communicate their passion to pursue a specific career and show interest in that career path either through good grades in related classes, an experience in a part-time job (or volunteer work) or from a mentor. http://kudym.com/joel/ Fred & Judy Kudym
NICK BOWEN We have established the "Nick Bowen Memorial Scholarship" at Northwest Missouri State. Nick belonged to the Sigma Phi Epsilon Fraternity - so we have targeted our award to a member of that group with annual gift of $500. We will be sponsoring a Golf Tournament this summer in the
hopes of raising some additional funds to increase the award.
It always feels good to hear from the young men who receive this award. They so appreciate our small donation - and we so benefit from the fact that
Nick's good works can go on into the future. Sheri Bowen
TREVOR FREDERICKSON Within days of losing Trevor in 2009, his Atlantic High School classmates immediately went to work organizing a fundraiser.
One of their goals was to provide a scholarship in his name. The fundraiser quickly became a family project and the scholarship has blossomed to four
annual $750 recipients - two to Atlantic High School graduating seniors, and two to students participating in Southwestern Community College's baseball
program. The tremendous community support of our annual T-Fred Memorial Golf Tournament allows us to give these scholarships. We will forever be
thankful for the opportunities and friendships Trevor experienced during his college days, and hope our recipients embrace theirs. Darrin & Melanie Petty
Continued in next issue—submit yours now.
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Omaha Glow Walk to Remember
Chalco Hills Recreation Area, Picnic Area “E”
8901 S 154 Street, Omaha NE
Sunday, June 9, at 7:30 p.m. Registration at 7:00 p.m.
Rain date June 23
All participants must sign a liability waiver before the walk.
Handicapped accessible. One or two mile walk.
Glow sticks provided.
We welcome everyone to join hands and
hearts in remembering all children who
2013 Nebraska Remembers Banner
Come to write on the names of your children, grandchildren, brothers or sisters who have gone
too soon. Members from our chapter will carry the banner in the July 7 National Walk to Remember in Boston, Massachusetts and it will be displayed at chapter events all year. Send the authorization by June 1 (Page 2 in this newsletter) if you cannot be present at any TCF function to
write your child’s name.
Remember a Child, Support Omaha TCF in the "Friends Asking
Friends®" Virtual Walk Fundraiser
www.tcfwalktoremember.org In the left column — Click Visitors
Join our team—TCF Omaha Online donations: 65% local/35% national.
TCF's Friends Asking Friends® Fundraiser for 2013 is designed to honor the memory of your child, sibling, or grandchild and also to support the work of The Compassionate Friends. Build your own remembrance website. Then, using e-mail, your social media page and other methods, you can receive pledges and donations from friends, relatives, and businesses that you frequent.
If you would like 100% of your gift to stay in the local chapter, send it directly to TCF Omaha “OUTREACH”.
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MEMORY CORNER
Kristina’s Poem for Matt Hartmann
I wonder what you’re up to…
how’s the view from heaven’s
gate?
can you see and hear us?
could you please watch over Nate?
do you hug us when we cry?
are you happy? are you sad?
do you miss your mom?
do you miss your dad?
what is it you do now?
do you leave this world of ours
to go visit the galaxies
and hike among the stars?
is it all we ever dreamed of?
are there halos, robes or wings?
is it God and love and family?
is it any of those things?
well, wherever you reside now
whether with us or up above
just know that we miss you
and always think of you with love
Jason P. Ormandy
Jason was an awesome older brother;
he was so smart, funny and caring. I
have a lot of fond memories of Jason,
but I will always remember one particular morning on my way to work when I
hit a bunny with my car. I was so upset
and crying so hard I had to go home.
When I got home I was sitting on the
bathroom floor crying and I forgot Jason was still at home sleeping, all of a
sudden there was a knock on the bathroom door. Jason asked me are you okay; I somehow managed to say
in between sobs that I hit a bunny. Without missing a beat Jason responded to me saying that is okay, the bunny would have died from
starvation anyways. One second I was crying, the next second I was
laughing. Jason was being serious but it was also the truth. Somehow,
he could always manage to make me laugh and make me feel better
whenever I was sad. Jason always put others first even when he was
having a bad day himself. Submitted by Andrea Ormandy
Beyond Tears, Living After Losing a Child—submitted by Ron Stukenholtz
This book is a collaboration of nine women from the New York area that have lost a child who were in their teens or young adults. Their children’s deaths were
the result of either illness or accident. This first edition of this book was written
seven years after these women lost their children. These moms, who were
honest, courageous and caring enough to write about their innermost feelings, hope to help others understand how they coped with their loss and how they healed
over the years. They are in a unique position to provide insight into what newly bereaved parents can expect to encounter as they embark on own personal journey of grief. Reading about these women will make you realize that grief can take many paths. These women reacted very differently to their individual situations
and grieved in their own way.
Almost half the book is actual quotes from these women. As you read their own words, you can feel their pain, their frustration, and their grief as they worked
through their own tragedies. As these moms talk about their children they have lost, you may get a better understanding of their journey and be better able to
cope with your loss. You will come to realize that your grief will lessen over time and that you be able to live your life and enjoy what the world has to offer.
The Compassionate Friends (TCF) was mentioned several times, praising the organization for they role in helping people work thru their grief after losing a
loved one.
To help you understand the value of this book as a resource, here are some excerpts from the book:
Page #14. “Indeed, the ground beneath our feet took on new meaning, especially the hallowed ground in which we had just buried our children. Some of us were
obsessed with going to the cemetery; others were obsessed with staying away. One of us still has not been able to visit her child’s grave. Snow and rain falling on
our children’s graves was almost too much to bear.”
Page #30. “In the early stages of our grief, none of us were capable of accepting the reality that our children were gone and they were never coming back. That
they have perished from this Earth, never to walk through the door again, never to call us, argue with us, hug us was beyond the realm of what we could absorb.”
Page #46. “And there was the guilt. It permeated deep into our feelings in those early days and months and beyond. What had we done wrong? Why did we
deserve to be punished? Could we ever smile again? Would we ever again know emotional and physical joy? If we did feel pleasure, were we not guilty of
forgetting our dead children?”
Page #66. “ One of my neighbors said she could understand how I felt because her daughter was marrying and moving to a foreign country. She said it would be
as if her daughter had died. Now her ‘dead’ daughter has two children.”
Page #66. “Someone said that I was lucky to have had Andrea for 22 years. Would they have felt lucky if they had a limit on how long they would have their
child?”
Page #88. “At first, we thought nothing more than to curl into the fetal position and be no more. Life held no further meaning or need for us. Our sons and daughters, who were our reasons for being, were gone, and we wanted nothing more than to join them. We were mothers of lost children and we too were lost.”
Revised 2009, 208 pages
Written by: Ellen Mitchell, Rita Volpe, Ariella Long, Phyllis Levine, Madeline Perri Kasden, Barbara Goldstein, Barbara Eisenberg, Lorenza Colletti, Audrey Cohen,
Carol Barkin
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EVERYONE please complete a new authorization for 2013!
Form is on page 2.
Names will not be listed without updating.
♥ Our Children Remembered ♥
In the days ahead, especially remember these children and their families…on the day of their birth and on the anniversary of their death.
Anniversaries
Birthdays
5/9
Christopher Ryan Oberg
5/3
Steve W. Burhenne
6/7
Kelly Jean Falk
5/8
Eric Gregory Sorgenfrei
6/11
Eric Gregory Sorgenfrei
5/15
Guy Douglas Nielsen
6/14
Nicole Renee Spiegel Wheeler
5/26
Jason Peter Ormandy
6/22
Cade Matthew Petersen
5/30
Erin Krystal Pelster
6/22
Theresa "Tracy" Derby-Nemec
5/30
William Carl Drieling
6/22
Theresa Tracy Derby
6/1
Nicole Renee Spiegel Wheeler
6/26
Charles Duane Moreland
6/4
Randy James Nunez
6/30
Lance Gilbert John Hannon
6/5
Shannon Lee Lloyd
6/16
Kole Dean Skartvedt
6/17
Kelcey Renae Fike
6/18
Joel D. Kudym
6/18
Trevor Lee Frederickson
6/25
Charles Duane Moreland
6/26
Theresa "Tracy" Derby-Nemec
We will always celebrate our child/sibling birthday.
We remember awaiting their birth, and naming them.
We celebrate who they were, the life they had, and
the love we shared. It never goes away.
Angels Across the USA Tour 2013
is making a stop in Nebraska
Monday, May 20 at 7:00 p.m.
Trinity Lutheran Church
205 S 7th Street, Lexington NE
Linda Guill 308-324-2275
Alan is an inspirational speaker on grief and loss. In August 2001, his only daughter died in a car accident. Since
that tragic event, he has turned his journey through the
valley of grief and the pain of loss into a collection of
powerful and moving songs about love, loss and healing.
He speaks and plays at more than 100 events every year.
Co-editors for this issue: Diana Ormandy, Kelly Kleckner-Silva, Kelly Pelster
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