IEEE-USA E-Books
Work-Life Balance
Book
1
book
Book 1
2
By Peggy G. Hutcheson, Ph.D.
Published by IEEE-USA.
Copyright © 2012 by the IEEE. All rights reserved. Printed in the U.S.A.
Edited by Georgia C. Stelluto, IEEE-USA Publishing Manager
Cover design and layout by Josie Thompson, Thompson Designs
This IEEE-USA publication is made possible through funding provided by a special dues assessment of IEEE
members residing in the United States.
Copying this material in any form is not permitted without prior written approval from the IEEE.
Table Of Contents
3
Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
What It Is and What It Isn’t . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
How Balanced Are You? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
i. Work-Life Balance Check-Up . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
ii. Understanding the Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Impact of Being Out of Balance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Final Thoughts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
work-Life balance—book 1
4
Introduction
M
ark looks at the list of emails that accumulated during the hour he was in the team update
meeting and wonders, “Just how can I keep up with all that’s expected?”
Lane takes a quick break from the testing project that has consumed him at work for the past
three days, and discovers that he has missed two voice mails from his daughter, and one from
his wife. “OK, what have I forgotten to do now?” he wonders.
Karen rushes out of a meeting, so she can get to her semi-invalid father’s house to make sure
he has taken his medication, and that someone has prepared food for him. She is in a hurry,
because it is her turn to carpool her son and neighbor’s son to baseball practice. “How long can
I keep this up and still be sane?” she asks herself.
Lynn felt good about taking on the job of Homeowner’s Association President, believing that it
would help her develop and demonstrate leadership skills that would be valuable at work and at
home. But now she isn’t feeling so good: one of the owners is suing the association, and she is
caught in the middle of this time-consuming litigation.
Scott sinks in his chair as he realizes that he will have to miss another family camping outing,
if he is to finish drafting the plans for his new project assignment. He is a young, energetic
professional who is deeply committed to his work, family and community. Still, something has
to give.
Your issues are likely to be different from the ones Mark, Lane, Karen, Lynn and Scott are facing. And you are likely to share some of the key issues they are dealing with. Few of us have
found the perfect balance within all that is expected of us in this fast-moving, complicated
world. We struggle to balance the things we are committed to doing, the things we are obligated to doing, and the things we really want to do.
—Peggy G. Hutcheson, Ph.D.
work-Life balance—book 1
What It Is and What It Isn’t
5
S
o, just what is work-life balance? You may define it in many different ways. The definitions
come down to something like: “Work-life balance is the state of control, achievement and
satisfaction in your life.” It means that you have a sense of being able to make choices that fit
for you, given your current situation and your goals. It also means that you align your choices
with those things that are important to you in life, so that you are able to enjoy a sense of satisfaction from the choices you have made. Work-life balance includes more than time. It includes
feeling good about your level of involvement in both your work and non-work roles.
Let’s also consider what work-life balance is not. For one thing, it is not static. You may feel
perfectly balanced one moment, and far from balanced the next. Balance is a moving target,
something that you should evaluate over periods of time—not every day or hour—and for
many, not even every week. In addition, being in balance does not mean that you will like or
enjoy all of the choices you make. No one wants to have the added time and stress of handling
a community litigation project; and few would say that a weekend updating a project report
trumps a family outing. Still, you may find that choosing these options aligns with your longerterm goals and values. Making these choices may help, not harm, your work-life balance.
work-Life balance—book 1
6
How Balanced are You?
T
ake a look below at some of the contributors to work-life balance, and see just where the
pluses and minuses are for you. Rate each item in the Check-Up on a 1-10 scale (choose
any number between 1 and 10), based on what you believe to be true for you. (Be sure to note
the scale anchor descriptions for each item. The descriptions are there to help you make your
choices.) For example: In the first item, if you felt a bit of pull, but not a significant amount, you
might rate this item a 2 or 3. If you felt a pull rather regularly, but not nearly all the time, you
might rate it a 6 or 7.
When you have your totals, read the information about each item.
Work-Life Balance Check-Up
Issue
1.How much pull do you feel between work and family or community
activities, hobbies, etc.?
(Scale: 1 = little or none; 10 = A great deal)
2. Do you believe that your boss or co-workers think that you need to work
more or harder?
(Scale: 1 = little or none; 10 = A great deal)
3. How often does your family make sacrifices or limit activities because you
need to work more?
(Scale: 1= never; 10 = very frequently)
4. Do others refer to you as a “workaholic”?
(Scale: 1 = never/almost never; 10 = frequently
5.Do you think that the amount of time you spend on the job conflicts with
your long-term goals and desires for your life?
(Scale: 1 = not at all; 10 = yes, often)
6. How often do you feel as if you “just spend” or waste time?
(Scale: 1 = almost never; 10 = frequently)
7. Do you perceive your daily activities as energizing?
(Scale: 1 = to a great extent; 10 = seldom or never
8. Do you believe that the ways you spend your time is your choice?
(Scale: 1 = almost always; 10 = seldom or never) 9. How organized are you?
(Scale: 1 = very organized; 10 = very disorganized)
10. H
ow much energy do you spend managing negative emotions (i.e.,
frustration, anger, disappointment, etc.)?
(Scale: 1 = not a lot of energy; 10 = a great deal of energy
TOTAL SCORE
work-Life balance—book 1
Your Rating
Understanding the Issues
7
Don’t think you should aim for a particular score on every item. No one is likely to have a perfect score (if there is such a thing), even if you are generally well-balanced in your life. Regardless of your score, it is up to you to decide just which of the choices you are making are contributing to the goal of having a sense of control, achievement or satisfaction with your life.
Let’s take a look at the issues highlighted in the Check-Up:
First, recognize that there are very few people who do not feel a tug between life’s different
responsibilities and interests—even those who are not genuinely over-committed. The bowling
league sets the awards banquet at the same time that your daughter is dancing in a recital, or a
project at work runs late and requires overtime, just when your out-of-town friends are in town.
These occurrences do not mean that you are over-committed, or that you lack balance. They
are simply examples of unfortunate timing. The tug between work, family, volunteer activities,
or hobbies may, however, be symptomatic of being out of balance—when it becomes a regular
event. If you find these instances occur more regularly than occasionally, you need to set some
priorities. We’ll explore more on priority-setting later on.
The second item does not ask whether you are a good or hard worker, but what you believe
others think about your work habits. If you suffer from the “not enough” complex—consistently believing that what you have done will not be considered enough to please others—you
are likely to believe that other people want or expect more from you, regardless of whether it is
true or not. This kind of thought process can be potentially dangerous.
The third item in the Check-Up is a good barometer of your work-life balance. If your family
often sacrifices doing things because you are not available, this imbalance will wear on the
fundamental relationships in your life. The perception may be that other things truly count more
in your eyes than your family. (Perceptions, whether they are accurate or not, tend to be “operating realities.”) Keep in mind that occasional sacrifices, or changes in plans, are normal. It is
when such occurrences become routine that problems emerge.
Next, think about the remarks you hear thrown around. If people refer to you as a “work-aholic,” they are telling you something that could be important. You may consider the extra time
and effort you put in as a good investment, and it may be true. It may also be true that you are
setting a pattern that will not be healthy for you in the long-term. Spurts of “work-aholism” do
not put your life out of balance. Work, however, can become like an addiction. You devote all of
your time and energies to work. Then, you may find that you take a step back, and say: “I don’t
have a life.” Keep in mind, too, that you may be “training” other people to expect more of you.
Having work that is aligned with long-term goals is important in achieving a sense of satisfaction in life. If you believe that your work actually conflicts with your long-term goals, then this
conflict is a big danger sign. The work you are doing now does not have to be what you always
want to do, but it should at least be an enabler of your longer-term goals. A job that supports
your family, while you gain experience, may be a good investment. Similarly, a job that helps
pay expenses for that degree you want can support your life’s goals, even though it is not
what you consider your life’s work. The danger is perhaps getting caught up in work that is not
satisfying, and forgetting about longer-term goals. Remember your dreams, even if they seem
removed from your current circumstances.
work-Life balance—book 1
8
Another key indicator that your life might be out of balance is the on-going sense that you are
wasting your time and talents. If you believe that you are just “putting in time,” you might think
seriously about changing what you do with your time. Time is a finite resource in life, and it
should be spent in ways that contribute toward a sense of fulfillment.
A related issue is whether you see your daily activities as energizing. A colleague set her goal
for the year to “wake up eager” each day. What she was seeking was a sense of positive
anticipation for the activities and challenges that might come her way that day. It is unlikely that
anyone will wake up every day without ever having difficulties that she is not eager to face.
Still, seeing the activities of the day as more likely to be energizing, rather than draining, is another indicator that you are likely to have balance in your life.
When you believe that you have choices about how you spend your time, you are more likely
to be energized, and to have a sense that these activities are far more than a waste of time. So,
Item #8 in the Check-Up actually contributes to other indications of being in or out of balance in
your work and life. Many people who rate this item low fail to recognize that most people actually have more choices about how they spend their time than they realize.
Asking about how organized you are (Item #9) may seem to be off the subject of work-life balance. However, this item on the Check-Up is helping you identify just how much of your time
may be “wasted” from being disorganized. You do not have to be an expert at managing the
files on your computer, or able to pull together a project plan for a major event to be organized,
although these accomplishments are two good indicators of organization skills. Lack of organization can appear in things as simple as how many times you delay leaving because you cannot locate your keys, or how often you wonder where you put down that bill you need to take
care of. A good sense of organization also pairs nicely with a good sense of time management.
A young lawyer, also a mother of two, explains it this way. “I just don’t have time to be disorganized, what with the client load, dance lessons, ball practices, and trying to have some time
with my husband!”
The final item in the Check-Up is about managing your emotions. When life is out of balance,
frustration, anger and guilt often appear. Negative emotions are energy zappers. They drain you.
When your energies are spent managing negative emotions—or worse, giving in to them—you
have little energy left to spend on more productive endeavors. How quickly you are able to calm
negative emotions is one indicator of how capable you are of controlling stress, rather than
having it control you. Managing your emotions doesn’t mean that you need to be—or should
pretend to be—”Pollyanna-ish” (always cheerful and optimistic) in your attitude. It does mean
that you need to be aware of just how frequently you are unhappy, discouraged, or angry.
This quick Check-Up provides some insight into why you may feel in balance, or out of it. Now
let’s examine what happens to you—mentally and physically—when you are out of balance.
work-Life balance—book 1
Impact of Being Out of Balance
9
T
he first thing that you will notice when you are out of balance is a sense of tension. You may
experience feelings of depression, or of being overwhelmed. Stress is the word often used
to describe how the body and mind react to such tensions or pressures. While some stress, especially event-focused, short-term stress, can actually help you perform under pressure—longterm stress will take a toll on your well-being. When faced with stress (which ranges from mild
discomforts to high levels of distress), the body responds. You may be tempted to discount the
tight feeling in your shoulders, pain in your lower back, or frequent headaches. These signs can
be indicative of more serious problems looming in the future. These symptoms are indications
that you may have reached your capacity to cope, and change is needed.
Stress can creep up on you. You may have gone through a difficult life change and attribute
your increased levels of tension to this circumstance. Or you may be working on an important
project at work. Keeping up with the demands of children and family can cause stress. Family
demands seem normal, and they are. However, when the effects of stresses caused by what
may have appeared to be short-term situations become long-term, the danger of stress-related
illness becomes a reality.
Stress is not always generated by events that are external. You can create stress for yourself
by having unrealistic expectations, a pessimistic attitude, or persisting in negative self-talk. You
may say “Yes” too many times, because you lack self-confidence, or the assertiveness to turn
down a request. Wanting your efforts to result in the very best results is commendable. When
this overachieving becomes perfectionism, it leads to increasing levels of stress.
Failing to make a change in response to the cues that stress provides can lead to more serious
problems. The body’s natural response to stress is the familiar “fight or flight” reaction. This
reaction is designed to protect you—to help you mobilize your energies, become more alert, or
escape a dangerous situation. When this reaction is prolonged, you begin to experience symptoms that indicate that your physical and/or mental health is being damaged. Chronic stress
affects almost every system in your body. Difficulties sleeping, fatigue, loss of memory, raised
blood pressure, increased risk of heart attack, and digestive problems are among the commonly
cited physical problems associated with stress.
The issues associated with long-term, chronic levels of stress go beyond these physical symptoms. Some of the typical mental and emotional responses include irritability, depression,
difficulty managing anger, and even irrational reactions to what seem to others to be simple
requests. When you ask a co-worker to cover for you in a routine meeting, and this request is
met with an explosion of anger, chances are good that something more than the responsibility
of attending this meeting is involved.
Numerous studies have linked stress to alcoholism or substance abuse, and dependence on
prescription drugs. These addictions have serious enough consequences on their own, but
relationships often become the next victim of the body’s reaction to stress. Even people with
good relationship skills may become unable to draw on those skills under stress. In such cases,
blaming and defensiveness increase; support and encouragement decline.
work-Life balance—book 1
10
The impact of stress has been well documented. One study (conducted by the American Psychological Association in 2009) revealed that stress is increasing among virtually all demographic groups: children, teens, and adults. Parents often do not recognize the impact of their own
stress on other family members. As the stress level of adults increases, children worry more.
Children worry about relationships with parents and siblings. They also worry about school,
and about the family’s finances. These children look to their parents or guardians as models for
handling this stress. Sadly, their role models are often, simply not there.
The negative impacts of stress are not limited to individuals—organizations suffer when people
experience excessive stress. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), the
cost of stress on businesses in this country approaches $300 billion. Businesses lose when
employees are absent, or when they are distracted, even though present, at work. Productivity suffers, customer service lags, and innovation may disappear. Businesses also lose when
health care costs rise, as a result of the physical and emotional manifestations of employee
stress. Even during times of a tight job market, employees who find their work overly stressful
are likely to leave; and the cost of replacing them includes recruiting, training and lower initial
productivity.
Think next, however, about the solid benefits of having a positive work-life balance. Being able
to make choices about involvement in work activities and family activities leaves you with more
energy for both. With less stress, people find that they sleep better, wake up refreshed, and
are able to think and concentrate more clearly and easily. This increased sense of well-being is
reinforced by greater physical well-being.
work-Life balance—book 1
Increasing Work-Life Balance
11
S
o, just what can you do to increase your work-life balance? The answer is not easy. You
will need to work to find strategies that fit your life circumstances. First, see what you
can do to better manage the stress you experience.
Managing stress is not the same as eliminating it. For many people, the stressors will remain, regardless of what they do to alleviate the impacts of the stress. Children’s schedules
will continue to be demanding, and work deadlines will still require attention. So what can
you do?
First, pay attention to your physical health. One important way to manage stress is to do
those things that increase your physical resilience: eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, exercise, and allow ample time for restful sleep. High levels of stress are associated with heart
disease; so when you feel stress in your life, it is more important than ever to increase your
intake of fresh foods, especially green and leafy vegetables, and to decrease your reliance
on high-sodium, high-fat “fast foods.” Quick, healthy recipes are now available on-line to
help you avoid a regular diet of high cholesterol, high sodium foods.
Aerobic exercise is important to strengthen your heart. A brisk walk, run, or bike ride can
have even more positive benefits. These activities give you the opportunity to change your
pace, and help you enjoy the significant benefits of being outdoors. If you cannot, or do not,
enjoy being outside, go to the gym. Exercising with other people may offer another benefit—positive social interaction. Join in on kickboxing, or Zumba, for a vigorous workout—and
have some fun! Thirty minutes to an hour of exercise can increase your productivity for the
time you do spend doing other, more stressful activities.
Activities that are directly related to cardiac health are not the only ones that can help manage the stresses in your life. Adding a yoga workout, a routine for stretching, or time for
quiet meditation can be important to providing a break in the sense of constant stress you
are experiencing. A peaceful break that includes a spiritual practice (such as prayer or meditation) can eliminate a lot of accumulated stress.
For many people, the workplace is a primary source of stress. Organizations recognized as
being good for work-life balance offer options, including both attractive work environments
and flexibility. Forbes’ list of best places to work includes organizations that offer time off for
personal activities, as well as fitness programs and fitness centers. As important as these
benefits are, flexible work schedules, that include options for telecommuting, van pools for
ride sharing to work, and other tangible signals that eliminate stress and provide for employees’ needs, are priorities. The top companies are also more likely than others to allow
employees to control their own work and work schedules.
work-Life balance—book 1
Recently, much publicity has been given to such organizations as Netflix, Google, Zappos and
Cisco. These companies focus on employees, as a way to improve productivity and service.
This quote from the Cisco Web page, Cisco and Its Employees, describes this concept well.
We know that our employees’ lifestyles and needs change over time, and that we must
adapt to support them. We believe that there is a positive correlation between flexibility
in the workplace and employee productivity. (http://www.cisco.com/web/about/ac227/
ac222/employees/flexibility_productivity/index.html)
Flexibility at Cisco is the ability to formally or informally adjust one’s work schedule in a way
that maximizes productivity, achieves business goals, and enables work and life integration.
Flexibility focuses on results, rather than physical presence in an office. Cisco’s tools and
culture enable great flexibility in when, where, and how people work. Establishing consistency
and transparency is critical for the flexibility program.
Perhaps the most important thing that anyone can do to achieve work-life balance is to focus.
Focusing on priorities—your own priorities, rather than those of others—contributes immeasurably to a sense of balance. You make some fundamental choices in life that represent your
basic orientation to life. Fundamental choices include the relative importance of your career,
how you see your role in the family, and what you believe you can contribute to others in life.
Supporting your own fundamental choices are primary choices. The primary choices represent
the commitment you make to achieving major results in your life. Getting the education to support your career choice is one example of a primary choice. Primary choices include what you
will do to enable your fundamental choices to be realized; secondary choices describe how you
will accomplish your primary choices. Secondary choices include how much effort you put into
your education; what role you seek in your community or circle of friends; and how much time
you spend pursuing hobbies. To have a focused life, you need to make conscious decisions
that ensure that the hierarchy of goals from fundamental choices through primary choices, and
on to secondary choices, is consistent.
This chart represents another similar way to look at focus
High
Importance
12
Self-Development
Career Challenges
Contributions to Others
Family Issues
Emergencies
Busy Work
Fires to Fight
Low
Low
work-Life balance—book 1
urgencyHigh
As you look at the chart, first notice those things that are both low in importance and in urgency. Low-urgency items can be called Busy Work. Things in this category may be emails (especially the many forwards that people share); searching for things you have misplaced (although
this task may sometimes have some urgency to it); or taking care of routine errands. For many
people, things that have neither importance nor urgency consume much of what could be productive time. If you described yourself on the Check-Up Chart as seeming to just “spend time,”
chances are very good that you are engaged in a number of busy work activities.
People also are likely to sense that they are just spending time (i.e., wasting time), if much of
the day is consumed with someone else’s emergencies. The box on the chart that is high in
urgency, but low in importance, includes these seeming emergencies—and fires that must be
put out (or occur), because they are more important to someone else than to you—or because
they come from mistakes or miscommunications.
The sample items in the box that is High in Importance and High in Urgency include both work
and non-work concerns. Not all career challenges are urgent, but there is an urgency to taking
care of many career-related issues. Important meetings, project deadlines, certifications, and
other similar tasks are both important and time bound. They need to be taken care of! Similarly,
not all family issues are urgent and important; but when they do occur, they will require your
time and energy. One important skill is being able to recognize the things that are important,
and learn to negotiate those that are less important—in both career and family.
The final box on the chart is High in Importance and Low in Urgency. Many people fail to take
action on these items—even when they should. It is too easy to put off taking on a new learning project, or finding time to give back to the community, or helping someone else. Acting on
these opportunities is one way to ensure a sense of fulfillment in life.
Focus requires the discipline to put first those things in the two boxes across the top—things
that are high in importance, whether or not they carry urgency. Spending time on busy work,
or taking care of emergencies robs you of opportunities that might be more important. To
achieve work-life balance, identify those priorities for yourself. These priorities are likely to be
somewhat different for each person. Then, review how you are using your time—compared to
those things you have identified as important to you long-term—on a regular basis. Ask: “Is this
something that is important, urgent, or both?“
work-Life balance—book 1
13
14
Final Thoughts
T
he sense of control, achievement and satisfaction that comes with work-life balance is associated with the quality of the relationships in your life. These include both work relationships
(your boss, co-workers, and clients or customers), and non-work relationships (your spouse or
significant other, family, friends, and even community, professional, or social organizations that
you align with). If things seem out of balance, chances are very good that working to deepen relationships is a good first step for you. The skills involved in enhancing relationships are simple,
but not easy. Two of the most important skills involve listening and self-disclosure. When you
are able to listen (deeply, and without judging), and to reveal important things about yourself,
you develop relationships that become ever more meaningful.
Consider next what activities give you energy. When even difficult tasks leave you with that
sense of “Yes! I did it!”—you know that you are on to something that is part of your road to
increasing satisfaction in life. Do you enjoy selling your ideas in a meeting; taking on new challenges; patiently searching for a solution to a problem; coaching the soccer team; or helping
your child with homework? Identify things that provide you with a sense of internal satisfaction,
and then search for opportunities to engage in them.
Finally, remember that work-life balance is not what happens in a single day, or even a week.
You will have times when you face difficulties, such as those described earlier for Mark, Lane,
Karen, Lynn and Scott. The goals are to work through these times, keep long-range perspective, and focus on what is most important to you along the way. Achieving these goals will help
you increase your chances of finding both success—and fulfillment—throughout life.
work-Life balance—book 1
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