T H E APPROPRIATE A G E FOR M A R R I A G E
69
In accordance to that which is explained i n Hilchos Talmud
Torah of the Alter Rebbe, and especially in accordance with the
custom of Yerushalayim and surely your family also follows this
custom [of seeking a shidduch at a relatively early age], it seems to
me that it would be inappropriate to push off interesting yourself
in a shidduch.
7
In situations such as these, the custom [of seeking a shidduch
at a relatively early age] is itself [part of] Torah.
However, it is self-understood that the suggested shidduch be
one where they agree wholeheartedly that you will be able to
learn i n tranquillity after the wedding as well. Indeed, there are
truly many who get married i n this manner and succeed
afterwards [in their Torah studies] as well.
As to what you write that the Torah study of an unmarried
individual is dissimilar from a married person — see there i n
Hilchos Talmud Torah.
Most importantly, according to that which we observe i n
actuality, it is worth considering whether the difference [of
learning Torah before marriage versus after marriage] is positive
or negative, [i.e., whether the positive qualities of studying Torah
after one is married does not, i n fact, outweigh the positive
qualities of learning Torah before one is married].
It is only that i n many places this practice of marrying at an
earlier age is not observed, because the wretched custom has
become rooted i n those places that immediately after the
wedding, the newlywed is forthwith entirely immersed i n worldly
matters, business and the like.
Since in Yerushalayim the fine and ancient custom of
continuing to study Torah after one's wedding is still observed —
so much so, that it is well received even by the women — then it
is entirely unfitting for you to break with this custom, G-d forbid.
7.
Ibid.