NPN’s Top 10 Tips to Start
Your School Search .....page 9
Value of Postpartum
Support .....PAGE 19
The International
Lap-Child .....PAGE 24
Can I Afford to
Stop Working? ....PAGE 29
DAY!
APPLY TO
NoW BEiNG
S
applicaTioN R aGES 2-5
o
F
D
E
T
p
E
c
ac
DEaDliNE:
applicaTioN
December 8
Bennett Day School is a new two-yearold - 8th grade progressive school that
provides a collaborative culture to help
nurture a child’s innate sense of inquiry
and curiosity.
2 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
telephone: 312.BENNETT
email: info@bennettday.org
address: 657 W. Fulton St.
WWW.BENNETTDAY.ORG
Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
OUR
MISSION
Connecting a
diverse community
of families with
the resources they
need to navigate
parenting in the city
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
LEARN
Play
Education-Rich Chicago: More Options Than Ever for Families.... 6
The International Lap-Child................ 24
Five Ways to Fundraise Smarter for Schools in Chicago.......................... 7
NPN’s Top 10 Tips to Start Your School Search............................... 9
Avoiding Homework Battles............... 10
Five Ways Dads Can Get Involved at School.............................. 12
Homeschool Might Be the Right School for Your Child................. 13
PARENT
TO
PARENT
Jill Chukerman, Managing Editor
newsletter@npnparents.org
Peggy Fink, Designer
nldesign@npnparents.org
Ellie Ander, Advertising Director
ellie@npnparents.org
Melanie Schlachter,
Executive Director
melanie@npnparents.org
Christa Reed,
Associate Executive Director
christa@npnparents.org
BJ Slusarczyk, Operations Manager
bj@npnparents.org
Parent to Parent contains articles and
information straight from our NPN
member community. For information
about editorial submissions, email
newsletter@npnparents.org; for
advertising, email ellie@npnparents.org.
We look forward to hearing from you!
CARE
Postpartum Running: Essential Tips for a Safe Return........... 25
share
What I Needed to Hear as a New Mom................................... 26
Five Stress-Reducing Steps for Single Parents...................... 28
Can I Afford to Stop Working?........... 29
Strategizing Your Community and Home Search............................... 30
The Importance of Being Kind............ 15
NPN Volunteers.................................... 5
Recalls: What They Are and Why They Matter............................... 16
Social Snapshot.................................. 22
Upcoming Events................... Back Cover
Value of Postpartum Support: Sleep Deprivation and Postpartum Depression......................................... 19
Toddlers, Terrors and Tantrums........... 20
From the
Executive Director
There are so many choices when it comes
to school search. Did you know that NPN
started hosting School Fairs back in the early
‘80s? Today Chicago families have lots of
options, along with the tools and resources
to make better-informed decisions.
Looking for the perfect preschool or
elementary school for your family? Save
the dates for our fall School Fair events.
Check out these brand-new features to help
you gear up for the school days ahead:
Photo courtesy Me
lanie Schlachter.
• My Directory: Select up to 30 schools and daycares, view them on a map and download to
a new customized PDF to keep handy as you narrow down your list.
• School Fair Map: It will be easier than ever to visit the schools on your list at this October’s
School Fair event with a comprehensive map highlighting our 130+ exhibitors.
• College Savings Workshops: It may seem like a long way off, but Bright Start College
Savings will provide breakout sessions with helpful tips on things you can do NOW to start
planning for college costs.
• Friends of CPS Group: Get ideas, share success stories and find out how parents involved in
their Chicago Public Schools are helping to make their schools the best they can be.
In addition, stay tuned for our regular Chicago School Choice sessions and read our monthly
School & Daycare Search Survival guide. Visit npnparents.org/schools for more info!
There are plenty of fun things to do in and around Chicago this fall. Visit our Calendar (npnparents.org/
calendar) for play dates, new and expectant parent events, family festivals and more!
npnparents.org • 3
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4 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Lockable, swiveling
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NPN Thanks Our Volunteers
Clubs
Andersonville-Edgewater............................................Laureen Anderson/Subha Wiswanathan
Lakeview........................................Christine Jordan/Miranda Byrd/Ekta Patel/LeeAnn Kampfer
Lincoln Park......................................................................................................... Katie Hardy
Lincoln Square-North Center........................................................................... Jennifer Gibson
Logan Square..................................................................................................... Wanda Perry
Near West-South Side...........................................................Carolyn Sabzali/Meghan O’Brien
Northwest Side................................................................................................. Susanne Glas
Oak Park....................................................................................................... Suzanne Feeney
Old Town-Gold Coast.......................................................................................... Briana Hafer
Roscoe Village..........................................................................Miranda Byrd/Christine Jordan
South Side......................................................................... Alleeshia Williams/Carolyn Sabzali
West Town............................................................................................................... Kelly Fox
Adoption.................................................................................... Karen Malsom/Teresa Hjerpe
Attorney Moms................................................................................................Jennifer Bauer
Dads..............................................................................................Tom Merritt/Ian Smithdahl
Developmental Differences................................................... Ellen Sternweiler/Kandalyn Hahn
Elementary School Parents.......................................................................... Bernadette Pawlik
Moms BYOB Dinner Club......................................................................................Missy Fotjik
Moms in Business.................................................................Katherine McHenry/Jenny Perillo
Moms Over 35................................................................................. Marie Lona/Lisa Mendell
Multiples..............................................................................................................Erica Sherer
New Moms Over 40..................................................... Grace Geronimo/Sandra Langeneckert
Preemies.............................................................................................................. Angela Foll
Same Sex Parents.............................................................................................. Carolyn Lloyd
Work from Home.................................................................. Amanda O’Brien/Sarah Wenning
Working Moms.............................................................Amy Daleo/Lisa Vedral/Amanda Wiley
Resources
Legal Counselor...............................................................................................Heather Varon
NPN Board of Directors
President..........................................Jennifer Guimond-Quigley
Vice President........................................................Marie Lona
Treasurer...............................................Laurie Bauman Nelson
Secretary..............................................................Jennifer Fout
Board Members.................................................Jay Annadurai
Sarah Cobb
Jennifer Groszek
Neil Hackler
Briana Hafer
Christine Jordan
Tom Merritt
Kristin Myers
Victoria Nygren
Kevin O’Brien
Alison Ray
Hema Trukenbrod
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NPN members save $10 off
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773-929-4MMM
npnparents.org • 5
LEARN
Education-Rich Chicago:
More Options Than Ever for Families
By Carolyn Aberman, NPN member since 2004
With a little knowledge and persistence,
families discover there is a school for
every type of family and child.
New parents are constantly exploring ways to stay in the
city after starting a family, but many are concerned about
educating their children. While the culture, diversity, food
and atmosphere of the nation’s third-largest city attract
singles and young couples, the “fear” of the vast school
system looms large when a newborn arrives. With a little
knowledge and persistence, though, families discover there
is a school for every type of family and child. From the many
evolving public schools to the growing and varied private
schools founded on different educational philosophies,
Chicago has a school for you and your family.
For the youngest set, Chicago preschools offer a variety
of philosophies, including Montessori, Reggio Emilia,
play-based, environmental, strongly academic, religious,
cooperative and many more. Some preschools provide allday, five-days-per-week coverage, while others welcome
your child for just a few hours a week. Many are freestanding and educate children only until or through
Kindergarten, but those with an elementary component
admit students at three or four years old and continue
through 8th or even 12th grade. Public preschool programs
have undergone changes but remain a good option for
parents who live nearby. The majority of them are tuitionbased and, although they do not guarantee admission to
the elementary program, they introduce local families to
their neighborhood schools.
The elementary years also have a growing wealth of
options. Most public school programs start in Kindergarten
(your child must be five years old by September 1), and
accordingly many families do not begin their school search
in earnest until the year prior to entering Kindergarten.
Public schools that have been underperforming (or
perceived to be) have been gaining support from local
families and are starting to improve. You should visit your
local public school (and nearby magnet schools) and ask
6 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Photo courtes
y Carolyn Aberm
an.
the administration, teachers and parents about the school’s
trajectory. Frequently, change happens in the early grades,
and a school’s turnaround efforts may not be evident from
test scores alone. While most private schools have the
greatest number of admission slots for children in pre-K,
some start at Kindergarten and others have open spots
in upper grades. More private school options emerge
each year, focusing on a range of specialties, from special
needs to progressive education, from global offerings to
“reinventing education.”
If you have young children and love living in the city, there
are many educational opportunities for your family. Start
your research early by attending the NPN South Side
and Annual Preschool and Elementary School Fairs
(see back cover). Doing your homework now will minimize
your anxiety, and investigating several school types will
maximize your options.
Carolyn Aberman is an attorney who works as a legal recruiter and school
consultant. She is a co-founder of Chicago School GPS, Chicago’s premier
resource for assisting families in their Chicago search for preschools
through high schools. Her three children attend two different schools that
fit their academic needs.
LEARN
Five Ways To Fundraise Smarter
for Schools in Chicago
By Karen Anderson, All for Schools, NPN member since 2014
Many parents consider school fundraising a supplement
that supports non-essential activities like field trips and
athletics. Bake sales and gift wrap afford these “extras,”
while the budget covers core functions. Unfortunately, a
prolonged recession and cuts to Chicago school funding
mean schools must redefine the role of fundraising.
My school, LYDIA Urban Academy, relies on fundraising
for necessities including teachers, materials and supplies.
Fundraising is always difficult, but its importance to
our daily operations has made us more resourceful in
our approach.
Try these tips to fundraise smarter for your family’s school.
Focus on fundraising activities that span the entire
year. While annual events like candy sales and charity
auctions can play a role in your fundraising, relying on them
is limiting. Find opportunities for your school to fundraise
year-round. This can be as simple as having piggy banks for
loose change or establishing referral partnerships with local
businesses. The goal is to continuously raise small amounts
of money.
Make it simple for all families to get involved.
Families come in all shapes and sizes, and the amount
of time and money parents can commit to fundraising
varies. Committed parents will do as much as they can
to contribute. Schools should celebrate all giving, big and
small. When parents feel appreciated, they are more likely
to give in ways that work for them.
As raising money becomes integral to quality
education, we must look beyond traditional
methods to secure resources for Chicago schools.
Partner with businesses: the good goes both ways.
Many businesses are happy to support local schools.
Sponsorship might be as simple as a sign in your dugout
or as robust as the name of your new auditorium. Don’t
overlook online options with national businesses. Retailers
like Amazon have longstanding school referral programs
that allow supporters to designate a portion of each
purchase for the school of their choice. We’re using an
online platform called AllforSchools.com that helps our
supporters earn money through online purchases with a
long list of retailers, from Groupon to Nordstrom.
Allow supporters to earn money by purchasing
things they actually want. One family can buy only
so much popcorn and gift wrap. The more options you
give your supporters, the more appealing giving back will
become. Parents feel their fundraising is more practical
when they have a variety of options because they support
the school by purchasing items they already wanted.
Leverage digital tools to help organize and conduct
campaigns. A wider range of fundraising options means
more to manage, but digital tools are available to assist
with campaigns. Our partnership with All for Schools allows
us to systematize our fundraising process and take it online.
Supporters can shop through the website, make donations
and track how much their school is earning online.
As raising money becomes integral to quality education, we
must look beyond traditional methods to secure resources
for Chicago schools.
Karen Anderson is the director of LYDIA Urban Academy, a private school
in Chicago for youth who need a nurturing environment. She was an
early partner with All for Schools, a Chicago-based fundraising platform
committed to helping parents make fundraising part of everyday life.
Photo courtesy All
for Schools.
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8 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
NPN’s Top 10 Tips to
Start Your School Search
1. Determine your family’s school search criteria.
Consider factors such as cost, location, public or private,
schedule, after-school programs, etc.
2. Go to the NPN School page (npnparents.org/schools):
a. Check out upcoming School Fair details and RSVP.
b. V
isit the NPN Online School Directory and enter
your search criteria/must-haves to explore the right
schools for your family.
3. Use the NPN My Directory to narrow your search:
a. Save up to 30 schools on your list.
b. View your schools on a map.
c. D
ownload your list to Excel or a customized PDF
to use as you go.
4. Dip into the NPN Discussion Forum. Gain access to
our members’ thoughts about school search. Search
within existing post categories such as “preschoolers”
and “school days.” Or start your own topic!
5. Take advantage of CPS resources:
a. C
heck out your CPS neighborhood school.
Identify your neighborhood school (schoollocator.
cps.k12.il.us/) and talk to parent groups for firsthand
feedback and plans for the near future.
b.V
isit the CPS Office of Access and Enrollment
(cpsoae.org) for information on magnet, gifted and
enrichment programs.
c. G
et updated information on Chicago Public
Schools (cps.edu).
6. Attend NPN’s Chicago School Choice sessions.
Panelists and school search experts discuss the process
and answer audience questions. Space is limited
(npnparents.org/groups/chicago-school-choice).
7. Reserve spots early for school tours and visitation
days. Dates are usually available by September 1,
and on-site contact with the school, students and
administration helps facilitate your decisions.
LEARN
8. A
ttend the NPN School Fairs. More than 100 public
and private preschools and elementary schools send
representatives to meet parents, giving you one-stop access
to make personal connections, consider new options and
determine next steps in the application process.
9. Seek out valid word-of-mouth recommendations.
Ask your friends, acquaintances, neighbors and coworkers for their opinions on school options. Parents
are usually willing to talk about their school, especially if
they are particularly happy or unhappy with their choice.
There is a plethora of free information available if you
take the time to ask around for thoughts, advice, etc.
10. Remember, there is likely more than one solution for
your family. Try not to get your heart set on one school.
Spread your net as wide as possible. Many wait lists
move and no decision is permanent.
MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR
NPN’S ANNUAL SCHOOL FAIRS
Sep. 20
South Side Preschool and Elementary School Fair
Hosted by Hyde Park Neighborhood Club. Free and open
to the public.
Oct. 18
Annual NPN Preschool and Elementary School Fair
A unique opportunity for NPN members to interact with
representatives from 130+ public and private schools and
enrichment programs. Hosted by Grossinger City Autoplex.
Visit the NPN Calendar for the latest event
details and to RSVP.
Presented by
npnparents.org • 9
LEARN
Avoiding Homework Battles
By Julianne Neely, NPN member since 2013
Find what works best for your family
and stick to it.
Electronic free hour
Schedule some “free time” when your kids can watch
television, use apps or text messages, but keep homework
time free of those distractions.
In a dream world, your kids would come home from
school, put their backpacks and shoes where they
belong, then happily bring their homework folders to the
kitchen table to eat fresh-baked cookies and begin their
schoolwork!
Choices within limits
Do you find yourself nagging your kids to finish assignments?
Try a different approach. Provide lots of choices (all of which
you are comfortable with), such as:
While I can’t make your dream world come true, I can
offer some tips on avoiding the daily homework battle.
Would you like to sit at the kitchen table or dining room
table? Do you want to work on spelling or math first?
Would you like to read in your bedroom or the basement?
Create a daily routine
Find what works best for your family and stick to it. If
you are busy with sports and other activities, it may be
best to do homework after dinner. Or perhaps you like
schoolwork to happen right when you get home. Make a
schedule together, post it somewhere in your home, and
keep things as consistent as possible. A consistent schedule
leaves little room for argument: “I am sorry, but this is snack
and homework hour, we don’t watch television until after
dinner.” Or “I am sorry, but this is homework hour, the kids
can’t come out and play until their free time.”
These choices let children maintain a feeling of responsibility
and control over their work and success but also set limits
by offering only choices you are happy with. It is a win-win!
Try something different and fun; make homework
seem less like a chore
Try doing homework at a cafe, a bookstore or the library. If it’s
nice out, make a picnic and read together in the sunshine. Or
you can create an after-school homework group with other
NPN families; parents and kids can get together to share a
snack and help one another with homework.
Remember the value of life lessons
If your child refuses to do a homework assignment,
don’t get stuck in a battle; let it go. Dealing with the
embarrassment of not turning in an assignment or perhaps
facing the school consequence might be a more powerful
learning tool than spending the energy to argue with your
child about completing the assignment. Your relationship
with your child is far more important than completing an
assignment. You might say, “It’s a bummer that you will
get in trouble at school for not completing this assignment,
but that is the choice you made, and I won’t let it ruin our
evening by getting into an argument about it.” Or simply
say, “I love you too much to argue about this.”
Julianne Neely, MSW, LCSW is a licensed therapist specializing in child,
adolescent and family counseling. She co-owns Individual and Family
Connection (ifccounseling.com), a pediatric mental health practice in
Chicago. She loves the opportunities NPN creates for families to connect
and support one another.
10 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
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npnparents.org • 11
LEARN
Five Ways Dads Can Get Involved
at School
By Cameron Smith, NPN member since 2010
Children do better in the classroom
when parents take an active role.
As we help prepare our kids for school this fall, whether
returning or for the first time, moms and dads might be
wondering how to get involved in their child’s school life
beyond drop-off, pickup and parent-teacher conferences.
As father of two boys younger than five, I want to be
part of my kids’ day-to-day school experiences, which will
benefit us all. Children do better in the classroom when
parents take an active role by meeting teachers, attending
events and being present at school. As you plan for the
school year, consider these ideas for being a hands-on part
of your child’s educational experience.
Think of yourself as part of the teaching team.
In the Reggio Emilia educational approach, the parent/
family is a third teacher (with the classroom teacher and
the environment). Families are experts on their children.
By collaborating closely with parents, teachers become
more adept at providing ideal learning environments and
experiences for their students.
Participate in the day-to-day school prep. In some
families, moms take the lead on the daily tasks associated
with a child’s schooling. Don’t let this be the case at your
house. Spend time with your child getting his/her backpack
ready for the next day. Handle pickup and drop-off. Talk to
your child in a substantive way about what he/she did at
school that day, with open-ended prompts like “why” or
“how,” not just “what did you do today?”. Listen to what
they say and think of ways you can build on their interests
together at home. Strike a balance with work, play, etc.,
but make an effort to be present in as many aspects of your
child’s school experience as possible.
Join the school’s parent organization. All schools
need support from the parent community. At Bennett Day
School, we have a Family Association that helps plan events,
coordinates communication among the parent community
and more. We encourage moms and dads to connect with
one another through this group and truly become part of
our school community.
Spend time at school. Reach out to your child’s teacher
to find out what you might do in the classroom. If you
have an area of expertise to share with students, suggest a
project or experience. For example, at our school, we have
a “TinkerLab” where students work with teachers who have
passions and skill in engineering, design and the arts as well
as our parent community to explore and solve problems.
We also invite parents to a weekly family lunch so they can
be part of their child’s school day.
Think of all the learning that happens outside of
the classroom. Children are always learning—inside and
outside the classroom. Seek experiences that stimulate and
follow the natural curiosities and intelligences inherent
in your child. View the world as your family’s classroom.
Incidental math through fantasy sports, cooking and other
activities at home makes a tremendous difference in a
child’s learning. The educational opportunities are endless!
on Smith.
tesy Camer
Photo cour
12 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Cameron Smith is father of two young boys and CEO and co-founder of
Bennett Day School (bennettdayschool.org), a new Reggio Emilia-based
two-year-old-through-8th-grade independent school opening this fall at
657 W. Fulton Street.
LEARN
Homeschool might be the
right school for your child
By Jeannette Srivastava, NPN member since 2014
In my 20s, I had a vague idea that homeschooling equaled
a mother sitting at a well-lit, large dining table with her
three to seven kids reading chapters and answering
questions from grade-level textbooks, acting as a quasiteacher/tutor and alleviating their confusion if and when
it arose during their (mostly) self-taught lessons. That’s not
how our Chicago-style homeschool looks.
I am enjoying these moments watching
my daughter flourish—completely in love
with learning. That is what will ensure
her future success.
The “right” path wasn’t right for my child
Our journey to homeschool started when I was inundated
with Chicago’s schooling options. Like many parents, I
joined the ranks of parents testing four-year-olds, quickly
securing a spot in one of the top CPS selective enrollment
schools and sitting back long enough to pat myself on the
back for a job well done. Only a few short months later,
I saw that the “best” school was not best for my child.
my life, which is that I do not need to have all the answers
right now. I am enjoying these moments watching my
daughter flourish—completely in love with learning. That is
what will ensure her future success.
My daughter was succeeding academically and socially, but
her love of learning was being drained out of her at school.
I wanted a school that was more focused on my child’s
unique interests and less lost in its own hall of mirrors. I
felt disappointed. I did not want to sacrifice evening and
weekend family time running to and from activities to make
up for what was missing at her school. After spending two
years in traditional “school,” we created the best school for
my daughter and our family.
• Approximately three percent, or 1.77 million children,
were homeschooled (K–12) in 2011–12. (nces.ed.gov)
Our Chicago-style homeschool
Because my daughter loves geography, we place that
passion at the center of our curriculum, and other subjects
branch from there. She has three amazing and passionate
teachers (geography/history, art/science, Japanese/English)
with whom she studies for a few hours each weekday at
home, and we spend the rest of the time learning on our
own in this amazing city.
Homeschooling facts
• No registration is required to homeschool in Illinois.
(isbe.state.il.us, hslda.org)
• More than 1,000 colleges and universities accept
homeschool applicants, including all Ivy League
universities. (learninfreedom.org)
• Homeschoolers outperform their public school peers
on nearly every academic and social measure.
(home-school.com)
Jeannette Srivastava lives in Bucktown with her husband, daughter and
numerous pets. She and her daughter have volunteered regularly at Tree
House Humane Society for six years. Jeannette is active in her community
as a volunteer adult ESL teacher at St. Joseph Services and treasurer of
Friends of Burr Elementary.
Chicago has numerous homeschooling groups with easyto-join email lists, most of which have active veteran
homeschool parents who are eager to provide formal
and informal support meetings for parents new to
homeschooling or just curious about it. It’s possible to
homeschool your child in Chicago without spending much
time at home by taking advantage of the myriad learning
programs at museums, libraries, parks and universities.
You may ask, “Are you going to homeschool all the way
through high school? What about tests and grades? Aren’t
you afraid you didn’t teach some important information?”
The answers to these questions come from the way I view
Photo courtesy Jeanne
tte Srivastava.
npnparents.org • 13
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14 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
The Importance of Being Kind
Care
By Elizabeth Bushaw, NPN member since 2011
Every parent has dreams for his/her child—some realistic,
some ridiculous and some that are likely versions of their
own unfulfilled goals. Sure, I want my children to be smart,
motivated and responsible. But most important, I want
them to be kind.
I can, and should, instill a strong value
in my own children: people—all people—
are worthy of kindness.
These days, it seems we’re constantly hearing about
bullying, especially among adolescents. I’m not sure if it’s
occurring more frequently or if we’re simply hearing about
it more often. Regardless, it has made me realize that I
can, and should, instill a strong value in my own children:
people—all people—are worthy of kindness.
I needed to demonstrate to my kids the importance of
being kind rather than just talk about it. Fortunately,
I’ve found a nonprofit organization that allows me to
volunteer with my toddlers in tow. Each month we
participate in projects that offer parents and their children
an opportunity to help another human being, from the
nursing home residents we sing and dance with, to the
moms and kids facing the brutal realities of homelessness
and domestic abuse, to the Chicago Public School teacher
who needs an extra hand preparing a classroom for a new
school year. As volunteers, we may not be changing the
lives of the people we meet, but we’re offering what we
can to improve their day. And by modeling kindness, we
may be changing the lives of our own kids. My children
may be too young to truly understand the importance of
our monthly outings with new friends, but I know they are
learning the importance of being kind.
Modeling good behavior
I see it daily in Chicago traffic and once even witnessed a
horrific scene in the Babies R Us parking lot: adults honking,
shouting and cursing at each other because of a seemingly
stolen parking spot or an inadvertent cut-off in traffic. And
our kids see it, too. It’s common knowledge that children
learn best when we expose them to, and model, certain
behaviors. For this reason we sacrifice privacy in our
bathrooms, repeat “please” and “thank you” hundreds
of times a day and even choke down foods we don’t like
to get our picky toddler to give it a try. So why not treat
your fellow human being with a little respect and kindness?
Not only is it a great example for your children—as well as
anyone else who happens to be witnessing your behavior—
but it’s the right thing to do.
Elizabeth Bushaw is a board member of the nonprofit organization
More Than Milk. She lives in Lincoln Park with her husband,
three-year-old daughter Ella and one-year-old son Jack.
ilk.
y More Than M
Photo courtes
npnparents.org • 15
Care
Recalls: what they are and
why they matter
By Laura Nikolovska, Kids in Danger (KID), NPN member since 2011
With increased awareness about product
recalls, you can help keep potentially
dangerous risks out of your home.
We have all heard about recalls, but since they don’t get a
lot of attention, we may not be as informed as we could
be. Here is a breakdown of what a recall is and how recalls
impact the safety of our families.
The facts
Two to three children’s products are recalled in the U.S.
each week, but because these recalls receive very little
marketing, most people hear about recalls only once a
month. As a result, only 10 percent of recalled products
are returned to manufacturers or corrected. We assume
the vast majority of these products (90 percent) remain in
circulation despite being recalled for safety hazards. Thus
it’s likely we all have recalled products in our home and
don’t realize it.
The danger
What do recalls mean for your family? It means your
children could be exposed to choking, suffocation or other
risks you aren’t even aware are present in your home. With
increased awareness about product recalls, you can help
keep these potentially dangerous risks out of your home.
The players
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC)
is the federal agency in charge of ensuring the safety of
consumer products, including most children’s products. To
recall a children’s product, the CPSC has to partner with the
product’s manufacturer and get the company to agree to
a voluntary recall.
The recall
The CPSC.gov website announces recalls immediately.
Click on the recall notice on the home page, and you will
see a recall summary for each recalled product, including
the name of the product, the product hazard and other
information pertaining to the recall. It’s important to
consider all of this information to understand if the recall
includes your product.
One of the most important parts of the recall summary is
the remedy section. There are usually three remedies for
recalled products: a replacement, a refund or a return. Right
under the remedy section is contact information (usually an
email address or a customer service phone number). Use
this information to call or email the manufacturer.
What you can do
Don’t get overwhelmed by recalls; there are resources to help.
• Sign up for recall alerts from CPSC.gov (delivered daily)
or through KidsInDanger.org (delivered monthly).
• Access KidsInDanger.org from your smartphone to
see recent recalls and search for specific products while
on the go.
• You can help by filling out the product registration cards
that come with most children’s products. Most people
don’t realize these cards take only a moment to fill out,
are free and will require the company to contact you
directly if there is a safety recall of your product.
Laura Nikolovska has worked for Kids in Danger, a nonprofit in River
North working to keep children safe, since September 2012 and is
currently program director. She lives in North Center with her husband.
16 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
npnparents.org • 17
18 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Care
Value of Postpartum Support:
Sleep deprivation and Postpartum
Depression
By Pat Porrey, Sweet Dreams Infant Care, NPN member since 2010
Caring for newborns can be exhausting. A newborn
typically wakes every two to three hours at night to feed.
Get as much rest as you can whenever you can. Use family
and friends whenever they offer, and ask for help when
they don’t. Many new families follow the “job” to different
cities when their babies are born. Being away from trusted
family and friends during this time can cause emotional
stress and anxiety. Adding physical exhaustion can carry a
high price to our health.
Without rest our brains can quickly deteriorate. We may not
realize the adverse effects of broken or inadequate sleep.
Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania restricted
volunteers’ sleep to less than six hours a night for two
consecutive weeks. Afterwards the volunteers said they felt
only a small increase in sleepiness and thought they were
functioning normally. However, their cognitive abilities and
reaction time progressively worsened during those two
weeks. By the end of the study, researchers found them as
impaired as volunteers who had been awake continuously
for 48 hours!1
Adults normally need between seven and nine hours of
sleep a night to feel fully rested. People experiencing sleep
deprivation for extended periods recognize their impaired
judgment and performance. However, new parents
consistently experiencing sleep deprivation in smaller
increments may accept this as their “new normal” and not
realize the detrimental effects on their brains.
new parents experiencing sleep
deprivation may accept this as their “new
normal” and not realize the detrimental
effects on their brains.
A new mother who has symptoms of postpartum depression
should take steps right away to get help.
• Talk to your health care provider for medical options.
• Ask for help for yourself and your baby.
• Don’t make any major life changes right after giving birth.
• Don’t try to do too much.
• Make time for yourself.
• Sleep when the baby is sleeping.
Join a support group. Get as much rest as you can and accept
help when someone offers it. Connect with new moms
groups, hire help if you’re able and don’t try to do it alone.
1. Epstein L., The Surprising Toll of Sleep Deprivation, Newsweek 2010.
2. Pearlstein T., Postpartum depression. American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology. 2009.
Sweet Dreams Infant Care is the premier Infant care agency specializing
in nighttime infant care, sleep training, parenting classes and temporary
daytime nannies. Its registered nurses, infant care specialists and
postpartum doulas have been rescuing sleep-deprived families in Chicago
and the surrounding suburbs since 2009.
According to the Mayo Clinic, our bundles of joy can cause
a mixture of powerful emotions—as well as depression.
Many new moms experience the baby blues after childbirth,
including mood swings, sadness and crying spells.
Postpartum depression is a much more serious condition
and may appear as the baby blues on steroids!
Symptoms2 may include:
• Feeling incapable of taking care of yourself or your family
• Insomnia
• Intense irritability
• Overwhelming fatigue
• Lack of joy
• Crying
• Difficulty doing tasks
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
Photo courtesy Pat Porrey.
npnparents.org • 19
Care
Toddlers, Terrors and Tantrums
By Nawal Qarooni Casiano, NPN member since 2013
With night terrors and daytime toddler
tantrums, less is more.
Remember the first truly beautiful day we had in Chicago,
when the cold weather finally broke, yielding to a quick,
heavy heat? Everyone was out that day. I took my
children—13 months and almost three years old—to three
parks that day. We picnicked for every meal, relishing
running around without layers. Who knew when we would
have another day like it?
My kids were exhausted—that kind of tired you get from
being outdoors all day, fatigued from playing under the
beating sun, dirt packed under your nails. I assumed they
would knock out early after a good bath.
But my toddler proved me so wrong.
Eliana woke up that night shrieking. She was cowering in
the corner of her little bed, clawing at her eyes, screaming
nonsensically and crying for Mommy and Daddy. We ran
in to try comforting her, but she wouldn’t let us near. She
yelled louder when we reached to touch her. Snot and tears
covered her face as she half-rocked, half-dragged herself
around the floor of her room, screaming things like “I want
a new mommy!” and “Get away from me!” It was terrifying.
Unknowingly, my husband turned on the lights. We didn’t
realize she was still sleeping. We continued our attempts
to mollify her, but to no avail. We debated paging our
pediatrician. Her night terror lasted 27 grueling minutes.
After she passed out (on her floor), we went back to bed,
distraught. I was inconsolable. What had I done wrong?
Was there a real problem with Eliana?
The next day, she didn’t remember a thing. I walked on eggshells,
afraid she would blow. She did the following morning, while
awake—without warning—kicking, screaming, again covered
in snot. After 15 minutes, I left her in her room, unraveling. She
came to me two minutes later, tear-streaked, trying to quiet her
own heaves, and said, “Sorry about the attitude. I just didn’t
want to wear that red turtleneck.”
20 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Photo courtes
y Nawal Qaroon
i Casiano.
Again, I questioned my mothering skills: Why hadn’t I
equipped my child with appropriate coping mechanisms?
Why couldn’t she verbalize that issue before she went crazy?
I ended up calling her doctor. Here’s what she told me:
• With night terrors and daytime toddler tantrums, less
is more. Feel free to say, “I can see you’re having a
rough time right now. I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re
ready to talk.”
• Provide time to process with your child after the
episode. Eliana came to me afterwards and wanted to
discuss it. But she needed 17 minutes to freak out.
• Night terrors and tantrums seem to correlate directly
with being tired. Missed naps plus too much sun equals
over-fatigued child, leading to potential breakdowns.
Now we go inside to take naps no matter the weather. And
we pick our clothes the night before school.
Nawal Qarooni Casiano is a writer and literacy educational consultant.
She lives in West Town with her two young children.
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npnparents.org • 21
Social Snapshot
Connecting Chicago Parents
Social Scene
Out and about with NPN
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success! Than
as a huge
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Sitter, volunt
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sponsors and
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attended for
it possible! Ph
making otos by Tany
a Velazquez Ph
otography.
22 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
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Photos by Caro
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Check out the NPN blog and connect
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ank you of beauty and style! Th
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y and KH Photograph
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npnparents.org • 23
PLAY
The International Lap-Child
By Chika Gujarathi, NPN member since 2013
squeeze in some international travel
while it’s still free for your children
and encourage their sense of wonder
and exploration.
Avoid too many layovers. Spending half your vacation in
airports is a waste. Aim for at most one layover. Better yet,
look for travel destinations that fly nonstop from your city.
In airline lingo, a child younger than two traveling without
his/her own seat is called a “lap-child.” Some might
consider this an inconvenience, but I call it an opportunity
to explore without having to pay for the newest member
of your family. Domestically there are no fees for a lapchild, and internationally fees are nominal. Here are
some travel tips for parents with wanderlust that extends
beyond a road trip.
Start the passport application early. For children
younger than 16, parents must apply in person (see travel.
state.gov for details and exceptions). No matter how
prepared you are, the passport office will invariably find
something wrong (e.g., the passport photo) and tell you to
correct it. Have patience and don’t wait till the last minute,
which might result in extra costs and stress.
Pick a destination with a good medical system. In
case of unexpected medical emergencies, there should
be a reliable network of hospitals and pharmacies at
your destination.
Splurge on Economy-Plus or Business Class. We
spend less once we’ve reached our destination. We shop at
grocery stores rather than eat at expensive restaurants and
skip a museum or two because we’d rather picnic outside.
The best use of these “saved” funds is to upgrade your plane
seats, even just on your way back. The excitement of the
impending vacation will carry you through any Economy
Class difficulties, but it is priceless to have a comfortable
and relaxing journey back home.
Use airline lounges. Lounge access is free with upgrade
or available for a one-time fee. Since international travel
requires you to get to the airport two to three hours before
departure, the airline lounge is a great space to spend that
extra time. Most have children’s play areas along with free
food and libations. If funds are tight, consider the lounge
on your way back when you don’t necessarily know the
facilities at that local airport.
Keep a short to-do list. Ask yourself if you would still
have a good time if you didn’t go up the Eiffel Tower and
instead had a picnic on the lawn below. Keeping up with
an itinerary will not only exhaust you, but also make for
a cranky child.
Pick a comfortable place to stay. The place should
make you happy even if you had to stay inside all day
(think bad weather). It should be in the area you plan to
explore most. For hotels, choose one with a restaurant,
bar, lounge and lobby on hotel grounds; for apartment
rentals, choose one near restaurants and grocery stores. A
nice view never hurts.
So squeeze in some international travel while it’s still free
for your children and encourage their sense of wonder
and exploration.
rathi.
sy Chika Guja
Photo courte
24 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
When not working as an asset manager in community development
banking, Chika Gujarathi loves to read, cook and travel with her husband
and one-year old daughter. Family trips have included Hawaii, Toronto,
Amsterdam, Paris and within the continental U.S. She and her family live in
Logan Square.
PLAY
Postpartum Running: Essential Tips
for a Safe Return
By Mia Cleary,
As a new mom and runner, I was excited to get back to
running. I knew I was in no physical shape to compete after
giving birth to my son, but I was anxious to use running as
an outlet to have some “Mommy” time alone. I can vividly
remember my first run. I knew it was not going to be pretty
and set my goal to complete only two miles. Little did I
know that was a lofty goal! I made it halfway and was ready
for a walking “break.” Since my first postpartum run, I have
gradually increased my mileage. Below are some tips that
have helped me get back out on the road (and treadmill)!
Get your physician’s permission. Typically, you follow up
with your doctor six to eight weeks post partum. At this
visit, ask your physician if you can begin running again.
tart slow, run a short distance, and remember,
S
it is OK to walk! Did you run or work out during your
pregnancy? If so, you may have a better base than someone
who did not, but you should still take it slow; your body
has gone through many changes. Most likely your physician
advised you not to participate in physical activity for six
weeks after giving birth. Due to this inactivity, you have
lost muscle mass (it takes only 48 hours of inactivity or
decreased activity to start losing muscle) and cardiovascular
endurance, so start slowly. Walking is OK!
NPN member since 2013
Start slow, run a short distance,
and remember, it is OK to walk!
Talk to your pediatrician about running with your
little one in a jogging stroller. Generally, you can start
jogging with your little one when he/she has good head
control, anytime between four and six months. Try to stay
on a smooth surface and minimize bumps, since your baby’s
head control is still developing.
Hydration is very important, especially if you are
breast-feeding. Many jogging strollers have a place for you
to put a water bottle, or if you are running without your little
one, plan your route so there is a water fountain available.
Last but not least, enjoy this time!
Mia Cleary, PT, DPT, COMT has lived in Chicago for nine years. Before
becoming a mom, she worked at Athletico as a physical therapist, treating
orthopedic injuries with a specialty in manual therapy. She now works with
Athletico as needed but primarily stays at home with her son Max.
our body will feel different. During pregnancy, you
Y
had an increase in hormones—estrogen, progesterone,
relaxin and others—which caused ligament laxity. If you
breast-feed, you may continue to experience ligament laxity
after pregnancy due to increased levels of progesterone.
This increased ligament laxity creates more mobility in the
joints, typically in the pelvic area, and may lead to pain in the
lower back, gluteal area, pelvic bone or pubic bone. Physical
therapy can help strengthen the muscles around the pelvis.
It is common for new moms to experience urinary
incontinence. Talk to your physician or physical therapist
about this. Kegel exercises are helpful in strengthening the
pelvic floor muscles, which will help with urinary incontinence.
Photo courtesy Mia Cle
ary.
npnparents.org • 25
SHARE
What I Needed to Hear
as a New Mom
By Katy Nakashima, NPN member since 2013
I wish someone had given me the advice
I really needed: you have to trust your
baby, but most importantly, you have to
trust yourself.
I was ready for motherhood. With almost a decade of
teaching experience behind me, I smugly looked forward to
Ethan’s idyllic childhood. I saw how my great students came
from supportive, solid families. I was ready to put in the work
for my family; what I didn’t prepare for was the worry and
doubt that quickly overwhelmed me.
While pregnant, everyone told me how a full night’s sleep
would become a distant memory. They were right, but what
they didn’t mention was that I would second-guess every
decision I made regarding his care. Should I put him down
for his third nap? Should I try solids again? I should have used
sunscreen at the park today. Can I use sunscreen on him yet?
The doubts are endless.
Each milestone was an amazing moment, but it came with
a sigh of relief. He had done it. That struggle was behind us.
And struggle we did.
Photo courtesy Katy Nak
ashima.
Stop. Put down the books. Close the apps. Trust him.
Ethan is hitting his milestones at his own pace, on his own
time. I was the one struggling.
Ethan refused to eat solids for six weeks—six weeks of
putting on a show at mealtimes, complete with props, to
get him to open his mouth as I tried to shovel in the puree
du jour. I nearly cried with relief when he finally ate bananas.
I have to stop and enjoy him more. Stop measuring his days
by my baby apps and how long he naps. Start trusting him to
tell me when he’s tired, when he’s hungry and, most of all,
when he feels content and loved.
Napping was a disaster. I obsessively checked my baby app
and compared it to the previous day’s naps. It gave me
graphs and charts, as if I was following my stock portfolio. I
constantly watched the monitor, my stomach dropping every
time I saw him move.
Too soon, he will be watched, graded and evaluated. Now
is the time to enjoy him and all the changes, including the
spontaneity of the no-nap mornings and the mealtime antics.
I had parenting advice books piled on my nightstand. I’d
Googled every problem and found advice from doctors
for both sides of most issues. I’d pinned countless
activities on Pinterest to help with everything from his
emotional development to his fine motor skills. Still, the
doubts remained.
In my former life as a teacher, I knew my students and knew
how to help them when it was needed. I doled out advice to
parents at every conference. Why wasn’t this easier? Then I
realized what I would say to a parent in this situation.
26 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Along with warnings of no sleep, I wish someone had given
me the advice I really needed: you have to trust your baby,
but most importantly, you have to trust yourself as a mom.
Katy Nakashima is a stay-at-home mom to Ethan, eight months old. Before
becoming a mom, she taught 5th grade in a private school downtown for
nine years. She, husband Jeremy and Ethan live in Lakeview.
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npnparents.org • 27
SHARE
FIVE STRESS-REDUCING STEPS
FOR SINGLE PARENTS
By Bryan V. Reed; Reed, Centracchio & Associates, LLC; NPN member since 2013
If you look at the world from your
children’s perspective, all of you will have
less stress and live a happier life.
The many challenges two-parent households face magnify
in single-parent homes. Unfortunately, when arguments
with an ex become the norm, the stress can be unbearable.
Adopting the following five steps can help reduce stress
and make a positive impact on your everyday life.
Have a written parenting agreement. Just as good
fences make good neighbors, good parenting agreements
make good co-parents. Well-drafted agreements, like
fences, mark boundaries and let you know where your rights
end and your ex’s begin. Even with the best intentions,
people often have differing ideas of what they think others
expect and what they believe is fair. A thorough agreement
spells out everybody’s rights and obligations and provides a
blueprint to follow. While both sides are free by agreement
to alter the parenting schedule on an informal basis, they
otherwise comply with the written terms, thereby reducing
discussion, arguments and holiday tantrums.
on’t ignore real problems. Denial, procrastination
D
and intimidation may cause you to do nothing when you
encounter a real problem with your ex, instead repeatedly
deciding to address it later, denying it exists or suffering
through it out of fear. No matter what the excuse, ignoring
a real problem will only make it worse because the bad
situation becomes a “status quo” when you try to change it
later. It’s best to deal with problems promptly and civilly either
through one-on-one discussions or professional assistance.
Know the difference between problems and
annoyances. You most likely do not know anybody who
parents as well as you do. Truthfully, we all have our own
parenting styles. Micromanaging the small “missteps”
your ex makes will make your life one big headache, add
stress to future interactions and increase the number of
years your child is in therapy. There are hills worth dying
on and others that are meaningless; recognizing the
difference is important.
28 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Be careful what you text. In today’s world, you no doubt
text your ex about pickup and drop-off times, colds, holiday
schedules, activities and even trivial things that get under
your skin. The brevity of the message makes tone difficult
to convey. Many problems and grudges find their origins in
a text message written hastily and later regretted. Before
texting, you should pause and think—or maybe even call.
hink of your children’s needs first. Instead of thinking
T
what “I” want or what “I” think is fair, pause and consider
what would be best for your children. Unless your ex is the
world’s most evil person (remember you chose this person
as your children’s mother or father), your children are best
served by having quality time with both parents. Similarly,
both parents should have sufficient financial resources to
provide a good home and appropriate standard of living. If
you look at the world from your children’s perspective, all
of you will have less stress and live a happier life.
Bryan V. Reed is a managing partner in the family law firm of Reed,
Centracchio & Associates, LLC, where he handles divorce cases and issues
of child custody, visitation and support. Find out more at recent-law.com.
Can I afford to stop working?
SHARE
By Lisa Niser, NPN member since 2003
Such a BIG question! Whether you are expecting your first
child or a subsequent child, this question is often tossed
around. Whenever I am asked this question, I start by
responding that there are many pieces to this challenging
puzzle (financial, emotional, long-term career impact), and
a parent should consider all of them when making such an
important decision.
From a strictly financial perspective, I advise crunching
numbers to determine two things:
How much money do you need?
Go through your bank account and bills and determine
how much you need to cover your expenses. Keep in mind
that the costs with one parent at home may be different
than with both parents working, so take your time to think
through what your current costs are and what you think
they will be if one spouse stays home.
Include expenses such as:
• Housing – rent, mortgage, assessments
• Utilities – gas, electric, water, sewer, telephone,
Internet, cable
• Auto – car payment, gas, repairs, parking
• Insurance – health, auto, home, life
• Clothing/dry cleaning
• Food/dining out
• Vacations
• Local transportation and parking
• Gifts/parties – kids, holidays, teachers
• Child costs – classes, school, camp
• Personal care
• Medical – doctors, dentists
• Savings – retirement, college
• Taxes – income, Social Security, Medicare, nanny
there are many pieces to this challenging
puzzle, and a parent should consider all of
them when making such an important decision.
Then what?
Once you have answers to these questions, you will be able
to see on a large scale if staying home is a possibility. If it is,
take time to think about other areas, such as:
• Decrease in retirement savings and Social Security
contributions. This won’t affect you in the short term
but could impact your situation in retirement.
• Emergency funds. You will want to establish an
emergency fund—six to 12 months of mandatory
expenses—before one spouse stops working in case the
other spouse loses his/her job.
If staying home is not a current possibility, take a look at
what you are willing to live without. By cutting back and
building up your savings, you may be able to reach your
goal within a year or so. When I was pregnant with our first
child, we weren’t sure what we wanted to do, so we saved
my entire income for the duration of the pregnancy. Not
only did this give us a chance to see how it felt to live on
one salary, it also allowed us to accumulate a nice nest egg,
which we put toward our down payment.
Lisa Niser has been a tax advisor since 1994. She worked at two Big Four
Accounting Firms before starting her own practice in 2003. She is an
enrolled agent, licensed to represent clients before the IRS, and holds a
master’s degree in taxation from DePaul University.
How much money do you have to spend?
Work with a tax advisor to prepare projections under
various scenarios so you can see how much cash you will
have available. Your tax returns will change if one spouse
stays home so you shouldn’t consider just the take-home
pay of the spouse who will continue working. You may
be in a different tax bracket, or you might gain or lose
deductions or credits.
Photo courtesy Lisa Niser.
npnparents.org • 29
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Strategizing your Community
and Home Search
By Karla Thomas, NPN member since 2010
The simple act of writing something down
makes you remember it better.
Do you need a Zillow intervention?
If you spend hours at night in your laptop screen’s glow
looking at every house in your price range on Zillow
and school reviews on greatschools.com, this is your
intervention! I have been in your shoes. In 2011, my partner
and I were on the waiting list to adopt our second child.
Our first was a year old and not even walking when I started
worrying about the schools in our area and thinking about
where we should move. I developed a manic hobby called
“Googling in circles.” As a real estate agent with a partner
who was a 20-year education veteran, we should have had
no problem deciding on the best place to live. No such luck!
We struggled to get on the same page about what we
wanted. Then we spent countless hours researching each
area we were considering, but never found a quantitative
way to pull it all together and compare.
Learn from my mistakes
3. A visit paints a thousand words! No website can
give you the vibe of a community. Play in the parks, eat
at the ice cream joint, and walk the town. Live it!
4. Take notes. Create a separate page for every suburb
or neighborhood you are considering. The simple act of
writing something down makes you remember it better.
But more important, when your spouse wants to bring a
certain area back into play that you previously discarded,
you can flip to that page and remind him/her of the
reasons you took it off the list.
Things that may surprise you
We may hesitate to move because we’ve found our favorite
restaurants, parks and places to shop within walking
distance. But discovering new places can be fun! Consider
exploring a potential new neighborhood or community in
the city or suburbs; you may be surprised what it has to offer.
Karla Thomas is mom of two girls. While planning her family’s move to
the ’burbs in 2011, she experienced the hamster wheel of researching
communities, schools and home prices. She used her data- and processoriented background to fill a gap in the marketplace, founding Urb & Burb
(urb2burb.com) in 2013.
1. Get on the same page. You’d be surprised how many
conversations you can have about “buying a house”
without discussing crucial information like:
a. How much of your savings are you willing to use
toward the down payment?
b. What is your monthly budget? Do you both agree
on how much of your income goes toward a home
rather than savings or family vacations?
c. What’s your exit strategy from your present home?
How much is it worth and how much do you owe?
Can you rent it?
2. Create a system.
a. Decide what is important to your family and
write it down!
b. Rank the items and divide them into “Needs” and
“Wants.”
c. Think about needs and wants beyond the size and
features of the house. Consider diversity, walkability,
your hobbies, the length of the commute, etc.
Photo courtesy Karla
30 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 3, 2014
Thomas.
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NEW! Half–day Preschool for Age 3!
1504 N. Fremont Chicago, IL 60642
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