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understanding
12-step recovery
contents
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Addiction is absolutely human, recovery is absolutely possible
A simple way of understanding how people deal with life
Finding a more effective way to deal with life
12-step: free, no waiting, the most successful way to recover
Going to a first meeting
Basic principles of 12-step recovery
Investing in the steps
The simple steps
If someone can’t get to a meeting
Best odds for long term recovery
12-step support for those affected by another’s addiction
12-step contact information
Copyright © Racing Welfare 2015 | The Jockey Club’s Charity | www.racingwelfare.co.uk
addiction is absolutely human
recovery is absolutely possible
This booklet aims to give a basic understanding of 12-Step Recovery,
and how it can offer the best odds at living free from addictive
behaviours such as drinking, drug use, gambling and obsessive under
or over eating.
• If someone wants to learn how to stop any addictive behaviour, their
best odds of achieving this are by learning from people who have become
skilled in living totally free from addictions.
There are several kinds of self-help groups, the most established, proven
and successful are 12-Step Fellowships. They are set up, run and
attended by people in recovery.
Examples of 12-step fellowships include Alcoholics Anonymous [AA],
Narcotics Anonymous [NA], and Gamblers Anonymous [GA].
Like trying anything for the first time exploring 12-step meetings can feel
unusual to start off with. But the success and value of the 12-step approach
lies in identifying with others in the same situation, passing on knowledge,
and exchanging support.
Recovery is contagious!
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a simple way of understanding
how people deal with life
life
leads to…
feelings
behaviours
…we respond
to with
and then our…
feelings
change
This is absolutely human. Everyone uses different behaviours to deal with
the way life can feel:
finding courage by
drinking alcohol
escaping through
using drugs
placing a bet
chasing a buzz by
eating
seeking control in
exercising
releasing stress through
shopping
getting a lift by
So why are some addicted to these behaviours?
Everyone can be impulsive, but to differing extents;
some to a lower degree, and some a far higher degree.
The influence of obsession and compulsion at the top
of this scale can be so strong, that about 1 in 10 of
us becomes addicted to these behaviours.
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finding a more effective way
to deal with life
life
still leads to…
feelings
…we can
respond to by
talking
acceptance
and then we can
move towards…
…and solutions
It’s a simple principle that can be difficult to do. Talking and opening up
can be judged as a sign of weakness, and some people take advantage of
others when they are down or vulnerable.
But 12-step meetings take a different view. Talking about what’s truly
going on in life can involve real strength and courage, and it can be the
most effective alternative to addictive behaviours.
Getting honest is respected in 12-step meetings and one of the most
important principles stressed to people in every meeting is don’t gossip.
This central value means meetings can be one of the safest places to
unload.
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12-step: free, no waiting,
the most successful way to recover
12-step meetings are an option of support known as ‘Self-help’ or
‘Mutual Aid’. They are based in our communities and are not connected to
any kind of professional services; meetings are set up and run by people in
recovery.
Compared to most addiction support options 12-step meetings have some
key advantages:
• There are no waiting lists Anyone can go whenever they want to.
• No attendance records are kept Meetings are anonymous.
• They are free Members make small donations to cover running costs.
There are professional services that offer treatment for addictions.
These services are there to help in any way they can and all are worth
exploring as complimentary options of support. In the UK many services
help people try to control their using, whilst recognising that totally
abstaining from addictive behaviours can offer the best odds of full
recovery for people who know they’re unable to control or cut down.
The majority of ‘abstinent based’ professional services are built on the
principles of 12-step recovery. They know that recovery grows beyond
what they can offer, and through the self-help recovery in our communities.
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going to a first meeting
12-step groups are often known as ‘Meetings’ or ‘The Rooms’. Most
last 1 or 1 ½ hours, and going to them can at first seem unusual:
• First meetings can feel daunting Everyone knows that so newcomers are
looked out for. Hand shakes are common [and hugs in some meetings].
• Numbers attending Small meetings can be attended by around 5 to 10
people, medium sized 15 or so, and larger meetings 25 and over.
• Seeing people we know This thought can be off putting, but everyone in
a meeting has an interest in recovery. Hostile behaviour would never be
tolerated and not gossiping is key to keeping meetings safe.
• There’s a set structure All meetings follow an established pattern with
readings at the start and end. Just observing can be useful at first.
• Sharing This is when people talk, just one at a time with no interruption.
Everyone is welcome to share or just listen.
• People are in recovery Most people at meetings have learnt how to live
free from active addiction. They are totally clean, sober and bet free.
• Recovery is celebrated Some meetings mark clean time with different
coloured keyrings; years, months, days, and simply the desire to stop.
• Connection and spiritual principles 12-step programs explore the
advantages of spiritual principles. They are not religious.
• Most at their first meeting know if they need to be there Regularly
attending then maximises the odds of recovery. Sometimes accepting this
truth can make it difficult for people to return, but the door is always open.
• The best advice is to keep going back!
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basic principles of 12-step recovery
A key approach of 12-step recovery is to totally abstain from addictive
behaviour. Food addiction is a little different as everyone needs to eat, so
the focus is to abstain from compulsive under or over eating.
If someone has a drink problem and they stop drinking, they will no
longer have a drink problem. What they’ll be left with is the need to find a
more effective way to manage their feelings and their life. There are many
principles that can help in getting and staying free from addiction:
• Go to as many meetings as possible The more someone practices
something the better they’re likely to become at it. Recovery is the same.
• Ask for help This can feel difficult, but most people will confirm that the
odds of finding recovery without support have been slim to none.
• Be around people in recovery They know what works and what
doesn’t. They are best placed to support people seeking recovery.
• Avoid the people, places, and things connected with active addiction
This can be a hard step, but a crucial one in staying safe.
• Explore the steps The 12-steps are a set of guiding principles that can
help with the understanding of addiction, the related feelings and events,
and how to move forward free from dependency.
• A day at a time The thought of abstaining for life can feel overwhelming,
so the focus is on not picking up in the day ahead. As most people are
awake for around 16 hours each day, it’s a much easier prospect.
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investing in the steps
The 12 steps are a proven way for anyone to get a better
understanding of who they are and how they behave. They help clarify
why addictive behaviour is only likely to result in further damage and chaos,
and how it is possible for anyone to develop an effective approach to life
free from addiction.
The steps are an investment. Becoming skilled in anything can take
commitment and time. Working the 12 steps is like an apprenticeship where
addiction free and exceptional living are the returns on offer. A few things
are needed before starting the steps:
• Sponsorship A sponsor is like a mentor, someone with experience of the
12 steps who can offer guidance and support in going through them. It’s
down to each person to ask someone to sponsor them.
• Becoming abstinent In order to go through the steps people first need
to totally stop their addictive behaviour. This goal is best achieved by
getting to meetings and accessing support from people in recovery.
Detoxing from some substances such as alcohol and benzodiazepines
can have associated health risks. Always seek medical advice.
• Approaching the steps Key to getting the most out of this opportunity is
to be Honest, Open minded, and Willing; that’s HOW it works.
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the simple steps
The following 12 pages of this booklet offer a brief summary of the
steps in turn, breaking each one down into 4 parts:
• simplified The step translated as simply as possible.
• full step The step as it appears in 12-step programs.
• in principle An explanation of the theory behind each step.
• in sequence How each step works in relation to the next one.
The steps require action. Just reading information about the steps is
unlikely to result in the changes that lead to true recovery, they need to be
worked through with a sponsor, verbally and in writing. There are very
effective ways of going through the steps for people who don’t read or write.
Understanding the steps can be very personal. One way to illustrate
recovery is to think of it like a suit. If the key to living free from active
addiction was to wear a suit, then the 12 steps provide everything needed
to make one. But the style, cut, material and colour, is down to the
individual to tailor and tweak so their suit feels and looks just right on them.
It can then become the very fabric of their recovery.
There are no rules on time. Some complete the steps over a number of
months, others may take several years. The suggestion is that people
commit to move forward through them to the best of their ability.
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1
i’ve got a problem
simplified Step 1 acknowledges that uncontrollable addictive
behaviour can lead to damaging results.
full step We admitted that we were powerless over addiction,
that our lives had become unmanageable.
in principle The 1st step is a beginning, the start of taking action. It’s
an admission of what has really been going on.
Some people’s health, relationships, work, finances, legal
situation and other areas of life, have been so obviously
affected by their addiction it’s clear to them that they are no
longer in control. Others may deny that they have a problem
at all, putting their situation down to other reasons.
Step 1 involves an honest look at how addiction has
truly impacted on life. Being able to own that truth opens
up effective ways of moving forward.
in sequence The 1st step in finding an effective solution to any problem is
to get honest. That honesty allows a clearer assessment of
how this effective program can help in Step 2.
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2
there is another way
simplified Step 2 recognises that 12-step programs offer
a proven solution to addictive behaviours.
full step We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.
in principle With denial removed in Step 1, the 2nd step aims to
replace it with hope; that recovery is possible and that pain
and insanity can end [insanity can mean repeating the same
mistakes and expecting different results].
12-step programs harness the collective experience and
knowledge of millions of people living free from addiction.
This is a resource vastly more powerful than the attempts of
one person alone.
At this point in history, 12-step programs simply offer the
best odds of securing abstinent recovery.
in sequence The 2nd step develops the belief that living an addiction free
life is absolutely possible for anybody. The decision to take
this opportunity is the focus of Step 3.
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3
i’ll try this other way
simplified Step 3 is a commitment to take the solution.
full step We made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
in principle Step 3 takes the truth and hope from steps 1 and 2 and
puts them into action; making a decision to prioritise
recovery and learn more effective ways of living.
The terms ‘Higher Power’ and ‘God’ appear throughout the
steps. 12-step programs are not religious so having a
personal understanding of these words is important. ‘GOD’
could be interpreted as ‘Growth Over Destruction’.
The 3rd step develops an ability to see the bigger picture. A
perspective protected from self-defeating or self-inflated
thinking, where balanced choices can be reached.
in sequence Step 3 is a decision to allow the principles of worth and care
to influence an approach to life. These principles help the
owning of behaviours in Step 4 to be a healing process.
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4
this is my part in my life
simplified Step 4 explores how life has been approached
by the individual.
full step We made a searching and fearless moral inventory
of ourselves.
in principle Most life problems have taken root long before addiction
has, but ultimately the biggest factor influencing how
someone’s life will progress, is themselves.
The 4th step identifies underlying issues that addictive
behaviours have attempted to change; resentments,
feelings, guilt, shame, fear, relationships, secrets, etc.
With understanding and care, identifying these truths means
there is no further need to drown or numb them. And very
importantly, this 4th step is also about acknowledging
personal strengths and assets.
in sequence In Step 4 internalised feelings, beliefs and resulting actions
are acknowledged and understood. Starting to release them
can then begin in the 5th step.
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5
telling someone else
what my part in my life has been
simplified Step 5 reviews the findings from Step 4 with help
from someone who has experience of the 12 steps.
full step We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another
human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
in principle Step 5 begins to set free feelings, behaviours, secrets
and beliefs built up over a lifetime. These are often at the
core of addictive behaviours.
The 5th step is an open admission. It could just stay as a
personal acknowledgement in the previous step, but by
sharing this truth with someone else [a sponsor], a number
of key benefits can result:
• Trust Opening up to someone can be a pivotal step.
• Perspective Another outlook helps find a balanced view.
• Acceptance Honesty in this step will not lead to rejection.
• Relief There’s a chance to let go of unhelpful baggage.
in sequence In Step 5 a lifetime of feelings can be released by sharing
them with someone who has experience of this 12-step
process. Their informed perspective can help identify
patterns of behaviour that can be explored further in Step 6.
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with the help of that person,
seeing which behaviours don’t work
simplified Step 6 identifies from that review,
behaviours that don't work well.
full step We were entirely ready to have God remove
all these defects of character.
in principle Over a lifetime everyone develops different ways to deal with
the events and feelings they face. Step 6 identifies the
behaviours that don’t work and have actually created
further problems; drinking, using, gambling, binging,
starving, lying, blaming, resentment, self-pity, isolation,
manipulation, intimidation, etc. But not acting out through
these behaviours can be challenging if they have been in
place for a long time.
There are real advantages in letting go of defective
behaviours. The 6th step focuses on a desire to approach
things differently and to believe that change is possible.
in sequence Step 6 is about the willingness to respond to how life feels in
a more effective way, that willingness is carried forward to a
commitment to do so in Step 7.
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7
committing to no longer use
the behaviours which don’t work
simplified Step 7 aims to stop the further use of those behaviours.
full step We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
in principle The steps up to this point have resulted in an honest
appraisal of how life has been, how addiction and other
destructive behaviours have played a key part in the way
things have turned out. The 7th step takes this new
awareness and puts it into action.
When someone can see how past behaviours have been
damaging, they can also see that doing things differently can
now have a growthful affect on their own life, and the lives of
those around them.
Life can be challenging, so the commitment to do things
differently in the 7th step is approached realistically; it’s
about progress not perfection.
in sequence Step 7 encourages people to move forward without
repeating the old behaviours that harmed themselves and
others. The people affected by these damaging behaviours
are acknowledged in Step 8.
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8
listing the people who
have been hurt by those behaviours
simplified Step 8 acknowledges the people
who have been harmed by those behaviours.
full step We made a list of all persons we had harmed,
and became willing to make amends to them all.
in principle The first 7 steps focus on fixing the damage to someone’s
own life caused by their addiction and actions. The 8th step
starts to bring others into this process of repair.
The thought of saying sorry to someone can be daunting
and uncomfortable. So the aim of Step 8 is to focus on
how others have been harmed, not the act of making
amends to them [how and if to comes in the next step].
Becoming accountable for causing harm can lead to a
clearer sense of remorse, releasing shame and guilt.
in sequence Rushing to put things right with others can have damaging
results. The 8th step takes time to own and respect the
nature of the harm felt by others, before considering how
best to make amends in Step 9.
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9
saying sorry to them, if it’s safe to
simplified Step 9 encourages making amends to those people
where appropriate.
full step We made direct amends to such people
wherever possible, except when to do so
would injure them or others.
in principle Steps 1 through 8 develop honesty, trust, accountability,
humility, and willingness to do the next right thing. All
valuable principles in preparing for the 9th step. This action
step recognises 3 basic aims:
• Owning behaviour Taking responsibility, freeing shame.
• Repairing damage To relationships, integrity, trust, etc.
• Returning clarity Clarifying how the harm was caused.
A sponsors guidance is crucial in Step 9 as some amends
may be impossible to make directly, or unsafe for those
involved. There are many ways to make amends indirectly.
in sequence Step 9 is not just about saying sorry. Making amends
involves a decision not to repeat the same damaging
behaviours, a commitment practiced in Step 10.
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10
regularly checking that
i’m heading in a sound direction
simplified Step 10 regularly checks how life is approached,
promptly addressing problems as they occur.
full step We continued to take personal inventory
and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
in principle The insight developed through working the steps can
lead to remarkable shifts in the quality of life. The best
odds of keeping these rewards are through regular
maintenance.
The 10th step is about maintaining the principles of steps
4 and 5, 6 and 7, 8 and 9, in a regular and simple way:
• Checking and owning feelings, thoughts and behaviours.
• Being aware of our impact, and up for doing it differently.
• Acknowledging harm to others, putting it right promptly.
in sequence The previous steps have focused on understanding and
repairing the past, Step 10 maintains a connection to the
present. The benefits of developing this personal sense of
connection are explored further in Step 11.
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11
considering how a sense of
connection can help in life
simplified Step 11 considers how connection or spirituality
can empower an approach to life.
full step We sought through prayer and meditation to improve
our conscious contact with God as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.
in principle 12-step programs are not religious. So far in history
they’re the most effective way to arrest addictions, working
for people all over the word regardless of their beliefs.
The 11th step is an opportunity to develop personal ways to
connect with a sense of worth, care, and love [free of
shame, humiliation and punishment]. Some access this
connection through others in recovery, personal or existing
faiths, loved ones who have died, through a connection with
nature; what ever feels right.
in sequence Step 11 ensures connection to solution, even when unable
to directly reach others. The importance of reaching out to
people new to recovery is emphasised in Step 12.
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sharing experience of recovery,
if someone wants to know
simplified Step 12 continues to practice these principles,
passing on knowledge to others seeking recovery.
full step Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these
steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts,
and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
in principle When someone finds recovery and invests in the steps the
difference in their outlook, appearance, and ability to live life,
can be truly astonishing. Their potential has awoken:
• Anyone can live free from addiction. Fact!
For those new to the 12 steps, the most credible proof of this
fact is to witness the recovery of others. Knowing how it
works is valuable, practicing and sharing these skills is key
to newcomers learning to find their own recovery. ‘Giving it
away’ becomes the best way for those already in recovery
to keep what they have; freedom from active addiction.
in sequence Completing the 12 steps is a real achievement. The insight
and acceptance from each step provides a set of tools, that
can be life changing to people when put into action a day at
a time.
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if someone can’t get to a meeting
Most towns and cities will have 12-step meetings of some kind.
The longest established meetings are those of Alcoholics Anonymous so
there tends to be more of these than any other. Narcotics Anonymous is
well established across the UK, with Gamblers Anonymous and Overeaters
Anonymous having fewer meetings. And there are other 12-step groups
that focus on specific substances such as cocaine and marijuana. The
best way to find out about available meetings is through each of the
fellowships own websites [contact details on page 24].
But for people who can’t get to meetings, or for those who are in areas
where meetings are not yet established, there are solutions:
• Online Meetings Accessed through the websites of each 12-step
fellowship, online meetings follow the same principles as those in the
community. They’re an alternative that work well for many people.
• Helplines Each 12-step fellowship has their own helpline [some are
available 24 hours a day]. They are manned by people in recovery
passing on the kind of support that has been key to their own recovery.
• Starting a meeting Rural communities in particular may have few or no
meetings. Each 12-step fellowship provides assistance and start up packs
for people who want to establish a new meeting in their area.
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best odds for long term recovery
Embracing the following suggestions is likely to increase the odds of
anyone successfully addressing their addiction:
• Attend regular meetings The more meetings, the more knowledge.
• Ask for help Reaching a sound outcome alone is unlikely.
• Keep an open mind Initial suggestions can feel unusual.
• Take action Be prepared to go to any lengths.
• Learn from other's recovery This has unequalled value.
• Find a sponsor Learn from someone with knowledge of the steps.
• Make recovery a life priority Instead of addiction.
• Talk Behind most addictions are unaddressed issues.
• Know that everyone deserves to live addiction free Everyone!
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12-step support for those
affected by another’s addiction
Addiction doesn’t just affect addicted people, it can impact heavily on
the family, friends and loved ones around them. But as the success of
12-step recovery has grown, support for those affected by another’s
addiction has too.
Self-help family groups like Alanon, Families Anonymous and Gamanon,
use the same proven 12-step program at the core of AA, NA and GA. And
family meetings work through very similar principles:
• They’re anonymous Only first names are used.
• Free Members make small donations to cover running costs.
• Self-supporting They are set up and run by members.
• Identification Members share understanding, strength and hope.
• Passing on knowledge Learning from others can be hugely important.
• Exchanging Support No one needs to be alone with their experience.
Anyone affected by another’s addiction can learn to better manage the
impact on their lives, and develop far more effective ways of moving
forward. Attending meetings can help members adopt an honest and
consistent approach towards the addicted other.
Experience has shown that help for family and friends can lead to
important help for the addicted person.
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12-step contact information
Support for those affected by
their own addictive behaviour:
Support for those affected by
another’s addictive behaviour:
Alcoholics Anonymous [AA]
Problem drinking
0845 7697 555
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk
Alanon
Problem drinking
0207 4030 888
www.al-anonuk.org.uk
Gamblers Anonymous [GA]
Problem gambling
0207 384 30 40
www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk
Gamanon
Problem gambling
08700 50 88 80
www.gamanon.org.uk
Narcotics Anonymous [NA]
Problem drug use
0300 999 12 12
www.ukna.org
Families Anonymous
Problem drug use
0845 1200 660
www.famanon.org.uk
Overeaters Anonymous [OA]
All forms of problem eating
07000 784 985
www.oagb.org.uk
Non-affiliated: Groups listed are not
affiliated with each other.
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Copyright © Racing Welfare 2015 | The Jockey Club’s Charity | www.racingwelfare.co.uk