Between Sick & Care
Unable to Let Go
Remembering the
Brave and Loving Terry
■ Li-Yue Wu Surgical Care Nurse Practitioner,
Buddhist Tzu Chi General Hospital
A year and a half ago, I was asked
by a doctor to help a patient with an
abdominal wound that would not heal
after an operation, and it was through
this karmic connection that I came to
know Terry Wu.
The Sunny Boy Who Was
Not Afraid of Pain
I remember the first time I went
to Terry’s room in the hospital; there
were no signs of pain on his face.
Instead, I was greeted with a smile as
brilliant as the sun and in the highest
spirit. Whenever it was time to change
the tapings for his wound, Terry would
always act as my little helper-getting
water, stretching or wiping down his
stomach, etc. The process was in fact,
very painful, but he would never give
in to taking pain-killers despite my “
nagging.” He’d always say, “It doesn’t
hurt,” and it broke my heart every time
I hear it.
After a month and a half of care,
his wound was finally healing, but the
disease did not seem to back down and
instead continued to take over his body.
70 Tzu Chi Nursing Journal
Vol. 2 May 2008
Keeping food down during the therapy
was impossible since he’d throw up
everything he ate, but he never seemed
beat and would always corporate with
the doctors and nurses.
It was not until the doctors
suggested starting chemotherapy again
that he could finally eat normally and
was even released as scheduled and
went back to his home in Kaohsiung.
However, this good fortune did not
last, and Tai-Yi had to be readmitted
when his white blood cell count
became too low. This time, he never
checked out… until Christmas day of
2006.
Throughout that time, even when
his own condition was not very
stable, Terry still showed great love
and cheered other patients on when
he was the one who needed help from
others.
Two Deeds in Life Cannot Wait
During his time in the hospital, not
only was he the cheerleader among
patients there, sometimes his heart
even flew to those in a nursing home
in Canada. I, by chance, met some
friends from Tzu Ching (an association
of college students devoted in Tzu Chi
missions) in Canada who were visiting
him at the hospital, and heard their
stories and the happiness they felt from
helping others.
As they shared their experiences,
Terry made a wish that as soon as he
was well; he’d go back to the nursing
home and do the things he had wanted
to do. He regretted on not knowing
how the elderly there were doing as it
had been a long time since he visited,
so he asked his Tzu Ching friends from
Canada about them.
Watching their conversation was
heartbreaking and unbearably sad,
f or Terry was t r u l y l i v i n g b y t h e
▲
▲
While Terry was in the isolation
room, Li-Yue Wu paid her visits to
encourage him from time to time.
teachings of Msster Cheng Yen.
He shared with me once, when his
mom wasn’t in the room, on how he
felt that year.
“ I’m ready. The reason why I’ve
been cooperating with all the treatments
is because I want to give my parents
hope. Being a good child, this is the
least I can do,” he confided.
I felt so much for Terry every
time I see him. He was in the prime
of his youth yet his time was spent
lying on a hospital bed. As a parent
myself, I felt even more for his parents
because this family had to endure this
trying experience. Terry continued to
cooperate with all the treatments for his
parents’ sake. But before every test, he’d
71
Between Sick & Care
always refuse at first, and succumb after
his parents pleaded, “ Terry, how will
you get better if you don’t listen to the
doctor?”
The procedure for the bone marrow
stem cell transplant started under
the doctor ’s advice. Things went
smoothly at first, but shortly after he
started to show symptoms of rejection
and it resulted to a week of bleeding.
The doctor suggested colonoscopy,
which Terry refused at first but later
agreed after encouragement from his
mom and the promise of anesthesia
from the doctors. However, doctors
decided right before the procedure
t h a t Te r r y ’s c o n d i t i o n w a s n o t
strong enough for anesthetics. For
a n y o n e w h o ’s e v e r b e e n t h r o u g h
a colonoscopy without anesthesia,
they would know how excruciatingly
painful it is – not to mention someone
as weak as Terry.
I rushed to Internal Medicine as
soon as I heard the news that Terry was
undergoing colonoscopy and pleaded
to the doctors for me to stay by his
side. Terry refused me at first, thinking
it’d would somehow trouble me too
much.
D u r i n g Te r r y W u ' s ( m i d d l e )
in-hospital, he would try to
encourge patients about his age,
even though his own condition
was not stable. The left in the
photo is Terry's mother.
72 Tzu Chi Nursing Journal
Vol. 2 May 2008
“Don’t worry, Terry, I simply want
to stay with you so your mom will feel
better,” I told him. He quietly nodded
after hearing that.
Craving for
Bitter Melon and Pizza
Doctors finally allowed him to take
in food after waiting for the longest
time. Unfortunately, Terry’s digestive
system was now long destroyed and he
could only spit out things after chewing
for taste. When asked what he’d like
to eat, he replied, “Pizza, and bitter
melon.” “Bitter melon?” “Yes. Mom
used to ask me to eat that all the time
but I never listened. Now I hear about
studies on how bitter melon actually
prevents cancer. I think I must’ve
gotten sick because I didn’t listen to
my mom.” My eyes swelled with tears
again.
The next day, I brought in a small
piece of pizza and hurried to him
while it was still warm. At the sight
of the pizza, Terry showed me a
smile I haven’t seen in so long, while
supporting himself with both arms on
the bed and gulped eagerly. He was
so innocent, but my courage was not
enough then. Fearing my tears would
burst out in front of him, I made a
dash for the door, not knowing that
Terry was about to have his last bite of
food.
On the Tuesday before he passed
away, a fully conscious Terry tried
to write me a message. I felt his
excitement for he did not want to miss
the chance to tell me this. With his
trembling right hand, he wrote on the
white board, “I thinking…” His left
hand rapidly made signs, patted his
body, and made a circle with a thumbsup sign in front of his heart – telling
me, “I’m ready.” He then curled his
thumb, gesturing “Thank You.” He
looked at me with determination and
I nodded, allowing my tears to fall
down, thinking, “How could a child
be so good and so strong?” He also
wanted me to pass on his gratitude to
everyone, which put me to shame even
more.
About twenty days after he was
put into the isolation room; he opened
his mouth and said, “I want to hug my
mom.” To this day, I regret not being
able to grant this one tiny wish for
him.
The Brilliance of
Bravery in Life
As much hurt and sadness these
events had brought us, they could not
change what fate had already decided
for Terry.
I realized, after attending his
memorial service, that the impression
Terry left in everyone, was the same.
He also left an excellent legacy for all
that he did with his life. He taught us
that one cannot wait to do good with
the world and to be good to his parents.
From his life, we saw a young man
living his short twenty years to the
fullest. Even at the end, he showed no
fear for death, and this bravery is so
admirable and inspiring, it teaches us to
value life, always.
73