Veterans and Intimate Partner Violence Dr. Elena Klaw Psych 190: Warriors at Home Understanding Partner Violence Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships What is abuse? What are risk factors for vets? What is the cycle of violence? Why is it hard to leave an abusive relationship? What can you do if you know someone in an abusive relationship? Film Clip: Domestic Violence in the Military http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UQzK uE69XE Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships There is a difference… Understanding Abuse Healthy relationships are based on trust and mutual respect. You grow more! Unhealthy & abusive relationships are based on power and control. You feel weak! What are the 3 kinds of abuse ? 3 Types of Abuse Physical - ranges from slapping, pinching, pushing, and pulling hair to breaking bones, assault with a weapon, strangulation, and murder Psychological/emotional – verbal abuse, putting someone down, isolation, control, keeping tabs on someone Sexual – ranges from insisting on engaging in a sexual activity to coercion, sexual battery and rape Power & Control in Military Relationships Military Power and Control Wheel: http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MilitarycontrolwheelNOSHA DING.pdf Maintaining hypermasculine beliefs that women should serve and obey men at home and sexually Acting like a commander at home: expecting others to follow orders Threatening harm to partner, kids, pets, property Invoking fear through one’s body or weapons Further isolating partner who is non military/non English speaking/immigrant Threatening to take away all benefits owed to military spouses: e.g. health care Risk Factors for Veterans TBI/mTBI PTSD, Depression, Anxiety Anger “Fight or flight response” Substance abuse Hypermasculine culture that may degrade women Stress of being away, and struggle with new roles Unemployment & financial stress Used to hierarchical environment Lack of social support Feel that they are not getting respect they are due Trained to use violence: Able to intimidate & have access Power & Control & The Battering Cycle Tension Building Triggers Violence Honeymoon/De-escalation *also called “presents & promises” & seduction stage Why is It Hard to Leave An Abusive Relationship? Fear Financial dependence Feel children should have 2 parents Love, Loyalty, Belief in Marriage Religion Lowered self worth Denial Self blame Hope that partner will change Lack resources for safety or info on rights What You Can Say To a Victim To a Perpetrator It’s not your fault. You are not going crazy. You are reacting normally I am concerned about to a crazy situation. you and your family. I am concerned about Let’s make a plan to keep your safety. you and your family safe. Let’s make a safety plan. Let’s brainstorm solutions. Let’s brainstorm solutions. My door is open. My door is open. You need help: Next Door, You need help: Next Door, SNBW, Vet Center, SNBW, Vet Center, Counseling Services, Counseling Services.