Psyc 190: Warriors at Home
Grief and Loss
Dr. Elena Klaw
Goals for Today
 Grief
 Prolonged
reactions
 Primary v. secondary emotions
 Guilt and self blame
 Dealing with painful emotions
 Suicide
Grief
 Reaction
to loss
 Normal reactions: shock, despair,
anger, guilt, numbness
 Problematic if reactions are
prolonged and symptoms interfere
with life and/or relationships
 May be triggered by reminders and
anniversaries
Prolonged Complex Reactions
Unwanted thoughts
 Nightmares
 Angry outbursts
 Hopelessness
 Difficulty
concentrating
 Physical symptoms
 Exhaustion
 Eating problems
 Substance use

Primary vs. Secondary (Complex)
Emotions
Primary Emotions: pure, simple
feelings/limbic system responses that
happen here and now as a result of a loss
e.g. sadness
 Secondary (Complex Emotions): mixed
feelings that are reactions to our primary
feelings e.g. shame, hopelessness
 Secondary Emotions: protect us from the
pain of our gut reactions, allow us to
distance ourselves from our feelings to
have a sense of control or power
 Thus, victims of trauma and abuse almost

Exploring Primary vs.
Secondary Emotions
Hurt
 Fear
 Anger
 Sorrow
 Grief
 Helplessness

Depression
 Hopelessness
 Demoralization
 Despair
 Worthlessness
 Guilt
 Shame
 Rage
 Hate

Guilt & Self Blame
Guilt: A feeling of responsibility or
remorse for some offense, crime, wrong,
etc., whether real or imagined.
 Involves ruminating, replaying situation
and assigning blame to self
 Getting stuck may be less painful and
scary than facing the loss and fear
 Linked to PTSD, isolation & depression
 Long term consequences may be self
harm, risky behaviors, and suicide
 Warriors have been put in impossible
situations, mission to protect and defend

Dealing with Painful Emotions
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Dealing with grief requires facing memories and
commemorating losses e.g. through letters,
scrapbooks, memorials, prayer, talking about the
dead.
Help can be found through counseling, spiritual
support, through mutual help, or a support group.
If you think someone who is suicidal, ask “are you
thinking of harming yourself?”
Communicate “You matter to me and I am here to
support you. I care about you and you don’t
deserve to be in this much pain.”
Connect the person to Crisis Hotline, U.
Counseling Services (924-5910, Admin), Vet
Center and make sure that support is present
Suicide Assessment
Ideation: thoughts of wanting to be dead,
killing oneself
 Plans: specific ideas as how one would kill
themselves
 Means – the tools to kills oneself e.g.
firearms
 A psychiatric team or police officer can
evaluate for involuntary hospitalization if a
person who is at risk to self or others
refuses treatment (WIC 5150)
 As mental health professionals, we are
mandated to keep others safe
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