Word Count: 1679
There Is Always Room For Pie
Throughout my life my parents have always taught me that a child is a product of
its environment. As time has passed and I have grown older and observed the people
around me I have seen this fact become more evident. I believe that no one person can
mimic another’s actions or behaviors so precisely that they become identical. A person’s
personality seems to be an infinitely large empty pie plate. The actions or behaviors that
people portray are a small slice that they have taken from others to fill up their plate.
These actions and behaviors are taken from the influential people in their lives. I do not
think any one will ever have a full pie plate because it seems to me that we never stop
learning new behaviors from people around us.
As I have began to talk with my mom more and more through the years I have
found her constantly telling me that I act or sound “just like my father”. Whenever I do
or say something around my mom I wait to hear those four words, and it seems that she
says them about every four minutes. Even though I mimic many of my father’s actions
and behaviors, am I my father? In my mind I do not think I could ever be my dad. I do
know why I emulate him so much, because I look up to him. Quite a few sons say that
sort of thing about their fathers. Even though it is a generic saying it seems to bring a
unique feeling each time it is said. I am glad that I am able to take large pieces from my
dad’s personality pie and add them to mine. It does not mean that I have not take
anything from my mother’s, it just appears to me that a son imitates more of his father
and a daughter imitates more of her mother. I know that this is a sexist statement, but in
my observations I have found this to be exceedingly true.
What things make up the pieces of the personality pie that we copy? A good
example would be self-concept/self-image. Self-concept is a person’s impressions,
opinions and attitudes toward their physical, mental and emotional makeup. My father
had always been a physically strong person. My physical strength that has come from
him, as well as body shape, is more genetic than personality. Mentally my parents have
continually shown signs of intelligence, and that is hard to fake. My dad has always been
good at mathematics. Incidentally I am a mathematics major earning my degree for
teaching. My wanting to be a math teacher is not based on the fact that my father is good
at math. I base my wanting to become a math teacher on what will make me happy in
life. My parents support me in my decision and have faith that I can accomplish anything
I put my mind to. I have a high opinion of my mental ability because I have seen the
confidence my parents have in the decisions that they have made and do make. Therefore
I believe that my mental ability is never-ending. The only things that can put a stop to
my mental ability are my own fears. Also whenever I have needed it, my parents have
been there for emotional support both for me and each other. With ample physical
strength, high mental ability and solid emotional support I feel that my pie sections are
filled in this area.
Another slice of the pie is the roles that I play in my day to day life. I am a
student, a son, a projectionist, a tutor, a comedian, and many other things. The roles I
play have a lot to do with what roles my parents have assumed throughout my life. I feel
that there is a direct correlation between how many roles I assume at once with how
many roles I have observed my parents undertaking. Not all of the roles I have played or
been subjected to have been positive ones. Not all roles that we gather and place into our
pie meet the requirements of being a politically correct or socially acceptable. I believe
that there is no such thing as a perfect role that people can affix themselves to. It seems
that there will always be a flaw in some role that we dare or need to delve into.
The intensely large pieces of the pie feature our values, attitudes and beliefs. This
aspect of the pie can be difficult to evaluate. This section of the pie can be looked at in a
funnel or a reverse funnel viewpoint. People can start with the values, a broad outlook,
and work their way through attitudes, slightly focused outlook, and end with beliefs,
which is the application of the first two. This direction of actions is the funnel viewpoint.
I personally believe in the reverse funnel direction. I see that children tend to have the
same beliefs as their parents and with those beliefs they reflect their parents’ attitudes
toward things. Until children are old enough, maybe high school, they are not able to see
the bigger picture of what is in the world beyond what their parents have shown them.
Only when these children get older do they see the different values that others have.
After they are able to see a little bit more of what is in the world they begin to follow the
funnel direction of their value, attitude, and belief systems. Quite a few of my opinions,
views and thoughts changed when I was able to see more of the world. My new found
knowledge let me find a way of thinking that my parents may not have seen when they
formed their views. I am not criticizing the views my parents have that conflict with
mine. It just so happens that on some issues we happen to have a different outlook. With
these sections in place my pie is roughly half full. Though it does not make any sense,
even with an infinite amount of area in my plate, I can fill most of it with a finite amount
of something.
The last, or what seems to be the last, piece of the pie that we fill includes the
needs of affection, inclusion, and control. These three components of the pie relate well
with one another. Everyone always likes to be in control, I know that I do. This is
usually an inborn, not learned, behavior of all humans. However, I could be wrong; it
could have something to do with assertiveness and/or aggressiveness, both learned
behaviors. I have known some people who do not want to be in control. Being in control
means to have some power of some kind. People feel safe and secure when they are in
control. I truly believe that some people think that the only people they can really trust
are themselves. When they are in control, they know what is going to happen next,
usually. With this control comes, in some way, inclusion and affection. If I am in
control and I come up with ideas to participate in certain activities that I coordinate, then
I am always in control of who is included. With the people that I include in my activities
comes affection. Although this chain of events is far from flawless, many people believe
that if they are in control they can then call the shots and everyone will like them. I
personally love to be in control. When I am in control I know that a smart move will be
made. I enjoy being included in things, but half of the time I have to work or have to do
something for school. Even though I am not included in the event I feel that my inclusion
needs are met merely from the thought of the people wanting me to be involved.
Although I am not included in as many things as I would like, my affection needs are met
in other ways. The inclusion involved with the affection is not always directly correlated.
I am not quite sure how to explain how I go about getting my affection needs met. It is
not really something I just go out to get as though I were shopping. I have never heard of
affection in a can. Affection usually happens when I least expect it. This is gratifying to
me and I am satisfied. As long as my pie is filled with some bits of control, inclusion and
affection I will have no complaints.
I feel that throughout my life I have grown up in an acceptable environment. I
feel that my parents have filled my pie with as much knowledge and love that they could.
In my opinion, as a product of my environment, I do not feel I turned out badly. I am
able to function in society easily and I am able to handle the roles that I need and want to
assume. My pie will never be full by any means, but this does not bother me. I enjoy
knowing that I will continue acquiring new behaviors and actions for the rest of my life.
I do not want to try to fill it to try to become a completely perfect person, because there is
no such thing. I feel that a little imperfection in my life gives me a little slice of
happiness. I will add that one to my pie too.
Keywords:
word count there always room throughout life parents have always taught that child
product environment time passed have grown older observed people around have seen
this fact become more evident believe that person mimic another actions behaviors
precisely that they become identical person personality seems infinitely large empty plate
actions behaviors people portray small slice they taken from others fill their plate these
actions behaviors taken from influential people their lives think will ever full plate
because seems never stop learning from around began talk with more more through years
found constantly telling sound just like father whenever something around wait hear
those four words seems says them about every four minutes even though mimic many
father father mind think could ever know emulate much because look quite sons sort
thing about their fathers even though generic saying bring unique feeling each time said
glad able take large pieces personality them mine does mean take anything mother just
appears imitates daughter imitates mother know this sexist statement observations found
this exceedingly true what things make pieces personality copy good example would self
concept self image self concept person impressions opinions attitudes toward physical
mental emotional makeup always been physically strong physical strength come well
body shape genetic than mentally parents continually shown signs intelligence hard fake
been good mathematics incidentally mathematics major earning degree teaching wanting
math teacher based fact good math base wanting become math teacher what will make
happy life parents support decision faith accomplish anything mind high opinion mental
ability because seen confidence decisions they made make therefore believe mental
ability never ending only things stop ability fears also whenever needed been there
emotional support both each other with ample physical strength high solid emotional
support feel sections filled area another slice roles play life student projectionist tutor
comedian many other things roles play with what roles assumed throughout feel there
direct correlation between many assume once observed undertaking played subjected
positive ones gather place into meet requirements being politically correct socially
acceptable believe such thing perfect role affix themselves will flaw some role dare need
delve into intensely large pieces feature values attitudes beliefs aspect difficult evaluate
section looked funnel reverse funnel viewpoint start values broad outlook work through
attitudes slightly focused outlook beliefs which application first direction funnel
viewpoint personally reverse direction children tend same beliefs those reflect toward
until children enough maybe high school able bigger picture world beyond shown them
only when these children older different values others after able little world begin follow
direction value attitude belief systems quite opinions views thoughts changed when world
found knowledge find thinking seen when formed views criticizing views conflict mine
just happens some issues happen different outlook these sections place roughly half full
though does sense even infinite amount area fill most finite amount something last last
piece fill includes needs affection inclusion control three components relate well another
everyone likes control know usually inborn learned behavior humans however could
wrong could something assertiveness aggressiveness both learned known some want
control being means power kind feel safe secure truly think only really trust themselves
going happen next usually comes inclusion affection come ideas participate certain
activities coordinate then included include activities comes affection although chain
events flawless then call shots everyone like personally love smart move made enjoy
being included half time work school included event inclusion needs merely thought
wanting involved although would like needs other ways involved directly correlated quite
sure explain about getting really were shopping never heard usually happens least expect
gratifying satisfied long filled bits complaints throughout grown acceptable environment
filled much knowledge love opinion product environment turned badly function society
easily handle need want assume full means does bother enjoy knowing continue
acquiring rest want completely perfect such thing little imperfection gives little slice
happiness
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