Happy VS Unhappy
What is a happy person? What does a happy person look like? Most people think
that a happy person is someone who is rich, possesses a high status and have power. Like
wise, many people think that if you can not afford fancy clothes, belongs to a poor
economic class and has low education, you are unhappy. If that is what you think, I think
you are wrong. Behind the surface, there are important psychological processes that are
the basis for satisfaction. In this paper I will explain William Damon’s concept of
developing a purpose in life (Damon, 2003). I will examine his theory in connection with
others and learning these theories helped me gain a deeper understanding of the
psychological processes involved in happiness. When I started the paper my ideas of
happiness were not the same after I review the theory. In order to make these abstract
concepts and theories concrete, I will apply them to the following case. First, I want to
explain what most people face in development is generally goes through life with spend
every minute in their mind think how to get richer. The person only focuses on
themselves or lives without knowing who they are. No matter how rich and how smart,
they are nothing. People not always want to fulfill themselves and finds the purpose of
their life. Or they always concern about what is the real purpose for them and does the
purpose combine personal and passionate. Finding a purpose that covered, work life,
social life and spiritual life. And use the purpose as mission to contribute and make the
world a better place for people to live. In my paper, I will review a few psychological
theories to let you know what you could do to find your happiness and the purpose in
your life. I will use Damon’s purpose in life, Erikson’s Identity crisis, Maslow and flow
by Milhaly Csikszentmihalyi to prove what I said is right. I will bring the Theo relived
ideas to the analysis of a case study which I will compare with the true story and show
how important of purpose and how it changed a person and the world or the people
around them.
The psychological perspectives on happiness
Damon, Menon & Bronk (2003) explains what is the real purpose of every human
being and how does it link to happiness. “Purpose is a stable and generalized intention to
accomplish something that is at once meaningful to the self and of consequence to the
world beyond the self.” And also “Purpose is a part of one’s personal search for meaning,
but it also has an external component, the desire to make a difference in the world, to
contribute to matters larger than the self.” Purpose does not mean to be marvelous or get
super rich but a mission to keep you alive not only for you and for other. You use it as
motive to live, to do and die for. Purpose is similar as goal; you need commitment to be
faithful in and pursuit it. “The notion that ethereal construct such as “meaning” and
“purpose” could motivate someone to do something, or even shape a person’s basic
choices about how to live.” Motivation same as strength to live and do certain things. If
you have purpose in life, you will know how to conquer the problem you facing and that
even help you tell your friend or person you know to overcome their problem and
strength to live when a person living under a depression. A great example of a person
who has purpose in life, a well-know African-American Oprah Winfrey, the most
influential woman in the world. She defiantly knows her purpose in her life and she said
“an abiding commitment to the principles of goodness and generosity that transcend any
one individual.” She is a missioner and because the purpose, she builds school in Africa
and help people help rebuild home of the people in Orlando. “And it's not just about
being able to write a check. It's being able to touch somebody's life.” This quote clearly
shows what purpose means to others. There are some benefit of having purpose in life it’s
“…purpose during youth leads to a number of desired outcomes, such as prosaically
behavior, moral commitment, achievement, and high self-esteem.” (Damon, 2003) and
give you reason to live and that motivate you to live and purpose gives you “feeling that
there is meaning in one’s present and past life.” Purpose is a link to “identity
development and future orientation.” And purpose tells you “‘four needs of meaning’,
alongside, value, efficacy and self-wroth.” Having a purpose in life definitely helps
personal growth and for other. If everyone has a purpose in life, this world no longer has
any crimes and problems.
Each one of us has a purpose and a reason for being because since each one is
unique from DNA to fingerprint. Everyone have their own talent or intelligence “Begin
with the heart, for the spring of life arises from the heart. Your purpose is the essence of
who you are. It is the reason you are alive. To know your purpose, you need to know who
you are.” And “Do not let culture, background, wealth to limit you in your search for
purpose. Rather, look at these as clues to why you were born in such place and at such a
time.” If you can not find the real-you, you might experiencing an identity crisis create by
theorist Erik Erikson. Almost everyone face identity crisis during development.
According to Erikson, an identity is a time of intensive analysis and exploration of
different way to looking at oneself and described identity is "a subjective sense as well as
an observable quality of personal sameness and continuity, paired with some belief in the
sameness and continuity of some shared world image. As a quality of unself-conscious
living, this can be gloriously obvious in a young person who has found himself as he has
found his communality. In him we see emerge a unique unification of what is irreversibly
given--that is, body type and temperament, giftedness and vulnerability, infantile models
and acquired ideals--with the open choices provided in available roles, occupational
possibilities, values offered, mentors met, friendships made, and first sexual encounters."
(Erikson, 1970.) Even Erikson himself experienced the identity crisis. Identity crisis has 8
stage and they occur in different times during development. My case study is a teenager
who is between Stage four and five. It is time for her to experience identity vs. confusion,
and intimacy vs. isolation. Mostly people at those stages would like to focus on peer
relationships and love relationships. In order to solve the identity crisis is to explore
different aspects of you in the different area of life and use the role in family, work and
romantic relationship to help strengthen your identity. Erikson also creates seven areas
for us to solve the identity crisis and here is some question to ask yourself if you not sure
who you are. “Can you distinguish immediate gratification from long-term goals? Have
you learnt to balance between jumping at opportunities as soon as they are presented to
you and working steadily and patiently towards your long-term goal? Do you feel
consistent in your self-image and the image you present to others? Have you tried
different roles in search of the one that feels right to you? Do you believe that you will be
successful in what you choose to do -- whether your role is at the work front or home
front? Do you feel comfortable being a male or a female, and dealing with others as such?
Are you able to become both a leader and a follower, whichever is called for in a given
situation? Have you found a set of basic social, philosophical, or religious values that
your outlook on life can be based upon?” Before find a right and appropriate purpose
needs to understand self first. Researchers find people who have made strong
commitment to an identity tend to be happier and healthier than those who have not.
People with status of identity diffusion (occurs when there is neither an identity crisis nor
commitment) tend to feel out of place in the world and do not pursue a sense of identity.
Once you think you found your purpose but how you determine it is a purpose
you want and does it fit you. Flow discovers by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi can help you
find a way to determine you find the right purpose or not. “Flow is the mental state of
operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, characterized
by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the
activity¨. Do you feel sometimes when you like to do something but you give up at the
end or you find yourself really focus and willing put effort on something without
explanation and expectation. It is maybe you went through flow and without realize it.
Flow does not need morality and creativity to understand, it is not abstract as purpose and
flow is simple. Flow occurs anytime in your activity or conversation. Be aware hen you
devote a lot of time and effort on something and do it unconsciously not because of grade,
money, fame... it is because you might on your way to your purpose. Flow is a way to
finding purpose and know self better.
Maslow is a famous psychologist who discovers the hierarchy of needs. Hierarchy of
needs is a theory different level of human being needs. “The theory contended that as
humans meet ‘basic needs’, they seek to satisfy successively” higher needs” that occupy a
set hierarchy.” Next is shows the diagram of his theory.
As a human being, our basic need which need immediate satisfaction of their needs. The
higher pyramid means the higher needs for a person; it is similar as soul or spiritual.
Now I will turn to Shelly’s case, a middle class student from college and a parttime employee. She studies hard in school and works hard for her job. One thing very
interesting about her is she is confidence and positive all the time. She has her own
values and opinions. She knows what she wants and already set up a goal by start her
own business. I like her commitment on her goal and the desire to pursuit it. But she finds
a wrong purpose of her life and beside the money matter her goal does not means
anything to her. Damon said purpose can not just focuses on the self; purpose is about
contribute the world, help others and makes the world a better place. But we need to
understand Shelly like most of the teenager does not know who she really is and what she
really can do for herself and the world. All she knows is makes money, studies hard in
school and get marry have kids like everybody else. Identity crisis is a problem that most
people have in development especially for teen. She thinks like a typical teenager who
thought her experience is unique and do not have the real purpose for life. She is
experiencing the stage which is Identity vs. Role Confusion. As I said before to help
Shelly to find a right purpose is to let her know who she is and what she really interest
and help her finds different aspect in the different area of life and use the role in family,
work and romantic relationship to help strengthen her identity. Shelly is a very creativity
child, She said she loves to do is designing clothes but I found her have plenty of grand
ideas when comes writing. Flow also occurs on Shelly but she never realizes it. Shelly
could stay up whole night to writes unpublished story for herself but can not put same
effort on design. Next step to help Shelly became better person is help her to builds up
love-belonging, esteem and self-actualization.
Erin Brockovich is an amazing person, she is a strong single woman raise threes
children, against the society expectation to dress what she wants in a professional law
firm and speak “special” language whenever she feels like. A woman who with no formal
education and live in welfare solve and “receive the largest settlement ever paid in a
direct-action lawsuit in U.S. history....$333 million. By triumphing over insurmountable
odds, she is able to prove herself, and reinvent her life.” (Erin Brockovich, the story)
How she changed after she has flow on the Pacific Gas and Electric Company’s law case.
She put her work and sweat and personal time away from her children to study the case.
After all she finds a purpose at that time, she wants to helps those people who struggle
pain and sickness cost by PG & E. She must get the company pay for the fault. The
purpose in her life helps her over come the identity crisis which is Intimacy vs. Isolation
means finding someone who can trust and secure to rely on. Another crisis Generativity
vs. stagnation, people starts to ask themselves do they done anything important or
accomplish anything useful. She no longer work just for feed herself and her children, she
has a meaningful mission is fight with bad people to make them pay for their fault and
help the innocent to fight for the justice.
Ivan is a rich man who did not really live his life. He chases money, power and
higher status for almost all his life. He has no purpose in life because what he did is only
focuses on him self and ignore others. He uses people around him to get higher status and
people around him do the same thing to him. The end of his life, he found out that he is
wrong and he changes his whole attitude and personality. He finally understands life
before he dies.
After I review all the theory of happiness from theorist, I hope it makes you
understands what is happiness and how important to have a purpose in life. To become a
better person, better future and have better life is not being super rich. Better life is about
having a purpose in life. When I first start the paper, I have wrong valued and what is
happiness and afraid to commit what I anted to do. After I done research and get to know
some people such as Chris Garner and Erin Brockovich and Oprah Winfrey who been
struggle before they achieve what they want to do. Their story motivate me so much
especially Chris Garner and Erin Brockovich. No matter where you from, whom you are,
you still can live happily ever after. People now are the time to find your purpose in life.