November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Comments for Nov 2010 EC PAR proposals.
Date: 2010-11-09
Authors:
Name
Affiliations
Address
Phone
email
Jon Rosdahl
CSR
Highland, Utah
+1-801-492-4023
jrosdahl@ieee.org
Submission
Slide 1
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Abstract
This file contains the raw notes from the 802.11 PAR
Adhoc meetings.
Comments were put into WG specific files and posted
to the SEC reflector prior to the Tuesday 5pm deadline.
Submission
Slide 2
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802 PARs under consideration.
• November 8-12, 2010, Dallas, TX
• 802.11 amendment for fast initial authentication (FIA), PAR and
5C (FIA SG to process comments)
• 802.15.4 amendment for medical body area network (MBAN)
services, PAR and 5C
• 802.15.4 amendment for low energy critical infrastructure
monitoring (LECIM) networks, PAR and 5C
• 802.15.8 new standard for personal space communications, PAR
and 5C -- Withdrawn….
• 802.1AEbn security amendment for Galois counter modeAdvanced Encryption Standard-256 (GCM-AES-256) cipher suite,
PAR and 5C
Submission
Slide 3
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.11 amendment for fast initial
authentication (FIA), PAR and 5C
This our WG PAR, and FIA SG will process comments
received. The PAR AdHoc will not review this PAR.
Submission
Slide 4
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for medical body area
network (MBAN) services, PAR and 5C
5.2 Scope: Add “new” prior to physical layer. Remove
“current revision”, Add “IEEE” prior to 802.15.4. Spell
out the Acronyms “FCC MBAN” and “MAC”. Split
the end of the sentence into a new sentence as follows:
delete “and any” end sentence: “This amendment
defines modifications to the MAC that support the new
physical layer”
Submission
Slide 5
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for medical body area
network (MBAN) services, PAR and 5C
5.4 Purpose: The Scope says that you are describing a new
PHY not services. Redo sentence. Delete “The
definition of” in the 3rd sentence. Expand what “15.4”
and “15.4e” really are “IEEE 802.15.4 and IEEE
P802.15.4e” would be better not having them
specifically there to begin with.
Consider deleting the Purpose Text and replace with
“This amendment will not have a Purpose Statement.”
Submission
Slide 6
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for medical body area
network (MBAN) services, PAR and 5C
5.5 Need: Put in “IEEE” in front 802.15.4. and expand
“15.4” to “IEEE 802.15.4”. Expand acronyms
“NPRM”.
Suggest change “FCC has made a” to “FCC has issued
an”
Change “This amendment” to This Project in the last
sentence.
Change 3rd sentence: Delete “may”.
Submission
Slide 7
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for medical body area
network (MBAN) services, PAR and 5C
• 5.6 Stakeholders: change stakeholders statement as
follows:
“The stakeholders include Medical equipment manufacturers,
patients and healthcare providers both within hospitals and
in residential environments along with service providers
that offer remote support facilities.”
7.1: similar scope: Expand the Yes description. Include a
minimum of the missing “IEEE”
Submission
Slide 8
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for medical body area
network (MBAN) services, PAR and 5C
• In the 5C, make it the “Low Rate Wireless Personal Area
Networks (WPAN-LR)” match…throughout the 5C. Consider
(LR-WPAN).
• Update the 5C requirements to those found in LMSC OM 12.5.
• 3. Distinct Identity: 802.15.6 is listed in 7.1, but not explained the
Distinct Identity. The current wording indicates that 15.6 is
similar, and it is not clear as to the differences.
– c) it is easy for readers….if it is a MBAN spectrum, how is that different
from the 802.15.6 MBAN uses.
• Missing coexistance statement
Submission
Slide 9
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for low energy critical
infrastructure monitoring (LECIM) networks,
PAR and 5C
5.2 Scope: the scope statement should be what would be included in
the final document. It should be in present tense and describe the
document contents.
5.4 Purpose: Consider deleting the Purpose Text and replace with
“This amendment will not have a Purpose Statement.”
5.5 Need for project: The text here looks like it should be included in
the 5c responses. This should be a clear statement of the need for
the project.
5.6 Stakeholders: remove “government agencies, non-government
agencies with equivalent interest and “ move “Location Based
Services Suppliers and Users” to the front, and delete “in addition
to “
Submission
Slide 10
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for low energy critical
infrastructure monitoring (LECIM) networks,
PAR and 5C
• 8.1 Additional Notes: clean-up and remove extraneous
information that should be in the 5c – Uniqueness and
Distinct Identity.
• 5C, WPAN-LR make consistent use of the if LR is
before or after WPAN.
• 2.1 title: Add acronym “LECIM”
• 5c-3-a) the first statement does not seem correct.
Suggest remove “uniquely”. Change “will not
adequately support the” to “does not support specific”
• Remove “SCADA” and just say proprietary technology.
• 5c-5a) make consistent the naming of the other WG.
Submission
Slide 11
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.4 amendment for low energy critical
infrastructure monitoring (LECIM) networks,
PAR and 5C
• 5c-5b) remove “the estimates” from the first sentence.
Submission
Slide 12
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.1AEbn security amendment for Galois
counter mode-Advanced Encryption Standard256 (GCM-AES-256) cipher suite, PAR and 5C
2.1 title: Identify the document being amended, and
include WG title and boiler plate. Suggest add a
semicolon between Security and amendment.
1.1 Project Number: the PAR form listed for review has
802.1AEbk, the link indicates it should be AEbn, which
should be correct? Correct the incorrect one.
5.2: Scope: suggest removal of “as well as the Default
Cipher Suite, GC-AES-128”. This is in the standard
already.
Submission
Slide 13
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.1AEbn security amendment for Galois
counter mode-Advanced Encryption Standard256 (GCM-AES-256) cipher suite, PAR and 5C
5c – Title needs to be updated to the correct Project
Number. Check for usage in the 5c document to ensure
consistent use of 802.1AEbn (remove “AEbk”)
5c-1a) Change “MACsec” to “MAC Security”
5c-2) Change “This will be fit” to “This will fit”.
Submission
Slide 14
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
802.15.8 PAR review
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
2.1 Title: should include the 802 boiler plate intro including the WG
identifier.
Acronyms need to be spelled out at first use.
A tutorial should be considered for the March 2011 plenary to help
explain the PAR and the intent of the project
Remove ambiguous words
5.6 Stakeholders: just list the stakeholders do not need “but are limited
to:”
7.1 need explanation to be put in.
5.5 Need: the statements seem contradictory. Is this a new standard that
replaces other things, or is this an overlay to the existing standards and
explains the intercommunication? It is not apparent that you can do both
at the same time.
8.1 Need to identify which item number the comments are explaining.
Submission
Slide 15
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Wednesday Comment Responses
Responses to 802.11 Feedback comments
Submission
Slide 16
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4j
Below are the responses to the comments received on the
802.15.4j PAR and
5C. The revised PAR and 5C [15-10-0756-08 and 1510-0757-04] can be found
at http://ieee802.org/15/pending.html
802.11 Comments on 802.15.4j 5C
Comment 3
In the 5C, make it the Low Rate Wireless Personal Area Networks
(WPAN-LR)match&throughout the 5C. Consider (LR-WPAN).
[Response] Agree. We will consistently refer to LR-WPAN in the
5C document.
[Action:] Update the 5C to consistently use LR-WPAN.
Submission
Slide 17
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4j - 2
Comment 4
Update the 5C requirements to those found in LMSC OM 12.5.
[Response] See Comment 1 & 2
[Action:] none additional
Comment 5
3. Distinct Identity: 802.15.6 is listed in 7.1, but not explained the
Distinct Identity. The current wording indicates that 15.6 is similar, and
it is not clear as to the differences.
-c) it is easy for readers...if it is a MBAN spectrum, how is that
different from the 802.15.6 MBAN uses.
[Response] State more clearly the difference between 15.6 and MBAN
[Action:] Keep first sentence. Replace remaining text with: The proposed
amendment to IEEE 802.15.4 targets both on and off body applications.
IEEE
802.15.6 is addressing communication in the vicinity of or inside a human
body. The proposed amendment to IEEE 802.15.4 will address low data rate
applications. IEEE P802.15.6 is targeting significantly higher data rates
and lower power consumption applications. The proposed amendment to
IEEE
802.15.4 will not address SAR [specific absorbed radiation]. IEEE P802.15.6
may take SAR into consideration
Submission
Slide 18
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4j - 3
Comment 6
Missing coexistence statement
[Response] See Comment 2
[Action:] none additional
802.11 Comments on 802.15.4j PAR
Comment 8
5.2 Scope: Add "new" prior to physical layer. Remove "current revision",
Add "IEEE" prior to 802.15.4. Spell out the Acronyms "FCC, MBAN, and
MAC". Split the end of the sentence into a new sentence as follows: delete
"and any" end sentence: "This amendment defines modifications to the MAC
that support the new physical layer"
[Response] Agree.
[Action:] Update the PAR with recommended changes
Comment 9
5.4 Purpose: The Scope says that you are describing a new PHY not
services. Redo sentence. Delete "The definition of" in the 3rd
sentence. Expand what "15.4" and "15.4e" really are "IEEE 802.15.4 and
IEEE P802.15.4e" would be better not having them specifically there to
begin with. Consider deleting the Purpose Text and replace with "This
amendment will not have a Purpose Statement."
[Response] IEEE 802.15 prefers for all amendments to have a Purpose and it
is an offered NesCom field. Agree with the recommended changes to Purpose
statement.
[Action:] Reword first sentence to make clear that we are not planning to
specify a service. Delete "The definition of" in the 3rd sentence. Use the
full name IEEE 802.15.4. Remove reference to 802.15.4e since this is an
example and is not necessary
Comment 10
5.5 Need: Put in "IEEE" in front 802.15.4. and expand "15.4" to "IEEE
802.15.4". Expand acronyms "NPRM".
[Response] Agree
[Action:] Add recommended text and expand acronym
Comment 11
5.5 Need: Suggest change "FCC has made a" to "FCC has issued an"
[Response ] Agree.
[Action:] Implement wording change in text
Comment 12
5.5 Need: Change "This amendment' to "This Project" in the last sentence.
[Response] Agree
[Action:] Change wording in the text
Submission
Slide
Comment 13
19
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4k
• Below are the responses to the comments received on the 802.15.4k
PAR and 5C. The revised PAR and 5C [15-10-0260-10 and 15-100261-06] can be found at http://ieee802.org/15/pending.html
802.11 PAR adHoc comments
5.2 Scope: the scope statement should be what would be included
in the
final document. It should be in present tense and describe the
document
contents.
[response] Agreed, revised scope statement is in present tense
Submission
Slide 20
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4k - 2
•
5.4 Purpose: Consider deleting the Purpose Text and replace with "This
amendment will not have a Purpose Statement".
[response] It is a offered field in the PAR form even when amendment is
selected, and seems like a reasonable thing to do.
5.5 Need for project: The text here looks like it should be included in the
5c responses. This should be a clear statement of the need for the project.
[response] Text has been clarified.
5.6 Stakeholders: remove "government agencies, non-government agencies with
equivalent interest and "move "Location Based Services Suppliers and Users"
to the front, and delete "in addition to "
[response] Implemented
8.1 Additional Notes: clean-up and remove extraneous information that
should be in the 5c Uniqueness and Distinct Identity.
[response] Implemented
Submission
Slide 21
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4k – 3
5C, WPAN-LR make consistent use. If LR is before or after WPAN.
[response] Implemented, change to LR-WPAN
2.1 title: Add acronym LECIM
[response] Implemented, spell out acronym on first use
5c-3-a) the first statement does not seem correct. Suggest remove
"uniquely". Change "will not adequately support the" to "does
not support
specific"
[response] Accept
Submission
Slide 22
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.15.4k -4
Remove "SCADA" and just say proprietary technology.
[response] Spell out acronym [supervisory control and
data acquisition ]
5c-5a) make consistent the naming of the other WG.
[response] Accept, add IEEE in front of all 802.xx
references
Submission
Slide 23
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.1AEbn
•
Thank you for your comments (https://mentor.ieee.org/802.11/dcn/10/11-10-1336-00-0000comments-for-802-1-aebn-par-for-nov-2010.ppt) on the proposed P802.1AEbn amendment to
Std 802.1AE Media Access Control (MAC) Security to add the GCM-AES-256 Cipher Suite.
Our responses on the points raised follow in the order that there were made in your
presentation.
1) [Your comment on Section 2.1 of the PAR form - title:"Identify the document being amended
and include WG title and boiler plate. Suggest add a semicolon between Security and
amendment.]
The PAR input form auto generates this text from the separate fields for inputting the base
document and amendment titles, so we cannot control the detailed formatting. The document to
be amended and the amendment are however present, and the former is displayed in the "Type
of Project" field in the PAR "Amendment to IEEE Standard 802.1AE-2006" while the Working
Group is identified not just in the proposed project designation (1.1 Project Number)
"P802.1AEbk" but also in 3.1 Working Group. There is no boiler plate to be added. The actual
title appearing on the standard will include an appropriate separator between "Security" and
"Amendment", and also an Amendment number which will be assigned as is normal practice
by the IEEE staff/editor. The actual presentation of the information in 2.1 is thus not ours to
control, but is believed (together with other PAR fields) to meet the identification requirements
fully.
Submission
Slide 24
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.1AEbn - 2
2) [Your comment on the project number (use 802.1AEbn consistently).]
The project number has indeed been updated through the process of
soliciting feedback on the PAR and will be revised to 802.1AEbn.
3) [Your comment on 5.2 Scope: ""suggest removal of "as well as the Default
Cipher Suite, GC-AES-12" This is in the standard already."]
The 802.1 Security Task Group considered it important, based on
comments received early in the process of generating this PAR, to
emphasize that the addition of GCM-AES-256 would not replace GCMAES-128 or cause its removal (and thus potentially leading to a lack of
interoperability). It was felt important that the scope was clear on the
point of retaining the existing mandatory default cipher suite as the new
cipher suite was added as an option - following the conformance structure
already in 802.1AE-2006 and emphasized by a point made in the 5c's.
Following your comment we propose to attempt additional clarification
(while remaining short and to the point) by replacing "as well as the" by
"in addition to the existing ": the explanation in 5.5 (Need for the Project,
"will add the GCM-AES-256 Cipher Suite as an option") was clearly not
sufficient for those not familiar with 802.1AE-2006.
Submission
Slide 25
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Response from 802.1AEbn - 3
4) [Your further comment on Project Number with respect to the 5
criteria].
As the project number has been updated in response to comments
received during pre-circulation that pre-circulated information
necessarily showed the original anticipated project number, but this will
be updated throughout the document.
5) [Your comment on using the full title "MAC Security" in the 5 criteria
instead of the abbreviation "MACsec" (defined in 802.1AE-2006).]
This abbreviation will be expanded to refer to "Media Access Control
(MAC) Security". Hopefully the use of the text from the Std 802.1AE2006 title will remove any lack of clarity.
6) [Your comment on changing "This will be fit" to "This will fit" in the
5c's]
This correction will be made.
Submission
Slide 26
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Feedback on updated PARs
Response to changes made after feedback.
Submission
Slide 27
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
PAR Comment AdHoc Responses for
802.15.4j
• 802.15.4j –
– used incorrect template for PAR Form.
– 5.4 don’t need last sentence.
– Change in 7.4 (which should be 8.1) “The proposed amendment”
to “This amendment”
– The explanation of how this amendment to 15.4 is different from
what 15.6 is.
– How does the SAR calculations differentiate15.4 from 15.6?
– Targeting high data rates and low transmit power may be a better
way to express the differences in 15.4 and 15.6.
– The “on and off body” seems equal to “in the vicinity of”
statement.
Submission
Slide 28
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Further response from 802.15.4j
We have moved the PAR information to a more correct
PAR form as requested.
The only change we made in the MBAN PAR text was to
correct the reference in section 7.1 to Additional
Explanatory Notes. In the incorrect form the reference
was to section 7.4 and now it is to section 8.1.
https://mentor.ieee.org/802.15/dcn/10/15-10-0260-12-mban-medicalbody-area-networks-par.docx
Thanks again for the help.
Kind regards,
Raymond Krasinski
Submission
Slide 29
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
PAR Comment AdHoc 2nd Responses for
802.15.4k
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Bob Heile’s contact info should be checked.
Paul Nikolich contact info should be updated.
The form used in the word doc is not the correct form.
4.2 and 4.3 are incorrect.
5.2 Scope: Remove “only those”
5.2 Scope is too long.
5.4 Purpose: what is “addresses”… consider changing
sentence.
• When noting 802.15 docs, need url to get to them.
• 5.5 Need for Project: still seems a bit wordy, but ok.
Submission
Slide 30
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
Further response from 802.15.4k
I have updated the PAR word document form for SG
LECIM on the document server as requested.
I made no other changes to content.
The document is 15-10-0756-09
https://mentor.ieee.org/802.15/dcn/10/15-10-0756-09leci-sglecim-par-draft.docx
David Howard
Chair 802.15 SG LECIM
Submission
Slide 31
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
PAR Comment AdHoc 2nd Responses for
802.1AEbn
• 802.1 – Still Need to use proper title.
– The colon should be at the end of the main document title, then
followed by the word “Amendment – “ then the title of the
amendment.
– It is understood that 802.1 does their titles a bit different from the
other 802 WGs, but the title should be complete.
Submission
Slide 32
Jon Rosdahl, CSR
November 2010
doc.: IEEE 802.11-10/1321r1
References
• 802 webpage link for PARs under consideration:
– http://ieee802.org/PARs.shtml
• Comments for 802.15 WG:
– https://mentor.ieee.org/802.11/dcn/10/11-10-1335-00-0000comments-for-802-15-pars-for-nov-2010.ppt
• Comments for 802.1 WG:
– https://mentor.ieee.org/802.11/dcn/10/11-10-1336-00-0000comments-for-802-1-aebn-par-for-nov-2010.ppt
Submission
Slide 33
Jon Rosdahl, CSR