1
David McDaniel
May 2006
“Just Desserts”
(Lights fade up on MARK. He is
stage right waiting for someone.
MARK adjusts his tie, and then
looks at his watch. TRINA enters.
MARK looks over in TRINA’S
direction and recognizes her
instantly. TRINA looks over in
MARK’S direction.)
TRINA
Oh my God! Mark?!?
(MARK nods, and then the two
embrace. They have not seen each
other for several years. TRINA
eyes Mark.)
TRINA
You haven’t changed a bit.
MARK
You have. You look great.
TRINA
Oh, Thanks. Sorry I’m late.
MARK
Don’t worry about it.
(WAITRESS enters stage left and
approaches the two.)
WAITRESS
How many in your party?
MARK
Just the two of us.
WAITRESS
Smoking or non-smoking?
(The following lines are spoken in unison)
MARK
2
Non-Smoking.
TRINA
Smoking
TRINA (CONT)
Non-Smoking will be great.(To MARK, puzzled) Non-Smoking?
MARK
I quit.
TRINA
I guess you have changed.
WAITRESS
Right this way.
(WAITRESS leads them to a table
stage left. MARK steps up to the
first chair and pulls it out for
TRINA. She walks right past it
without even realizing it and sits
in the other chair, pulling it out
herself.)
WAITRESS
Can I start you off with something to drink?
TRINA
I’ll have a water with lemon. It’s not tap water is it?
WAITRESS
Yes, it is.
TRINA
Oh. You don’t have anything bottled?
WAITRESS
Just our wine.
TRINA
Then I’ll have a glass of Pinot Grigio.
MARK
I’ll just have a milk.
(The WAITRESS exits stage left.)
MARK
I can’t believe I’m doing this?
3
TRINA
Ordering a milk?
MARK
No. Having dinner with you. I mean, I haven’t seen or talked to
you in who knows how long, and here we are having dinner.
TRINA
I have to admit, I was very surprised to hear from you.
MARK
Well, I was in town and it just wouldn’t have felt right not to
call you.
TRINA
Well, it was very thoughtful of you.
MARK
I hear this place has the best Prime rib.
TRINA
I wouldn’t know… I’m a vegetarian now.
MARK
Oh, I’m sorry. Should we go somewhere else?
TRINA
No worries, I’ll just fill up on carbs.
MARK
(Beat) They have great salads too.
TRINA
I’m sure.
(WAITRESS enters with drinks)
WAITRESS
A Pinot Grigio and a milk. Are we ready to order?
MARK
Trina?
TRINA
(Still deciding)
Ooh… (To waitress) You don’t cook your pasta in a lot of oil do
you?
WAITRESS
No. Just tap water.
4
(MARK stifles a laugh)
TRINA
Then I guess I’ll have the Pesto Pasta with a house salad.
(Before he can even ask) Italian dressing, on the side.
WAITRESS
And for you?
MARK
The Prime rib, medium well, mashed potatoes and vegetables.
WAITRESS
Anything else?
MARK
That’ll do it. (Beat) It wasn’t rude of me to order the Prime
rib, was it? I mean, you being a vegetarian and all?
TRINA
Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a vegetarian for health reasons. I hate
animals.
MARK
Since when do you hate animals?
TRINA
I’ve never liked animals. They’re useless and they smell. (Beat)
What?
MARK
Nothing, it’s just… I’ve never known a vegetarian who hates
animals.
TRINA
And I’ve never known a grown man who orders a milk while out on
a date.
MARK
Date?
TRINA
Isn’t that what this is?
MARK
WellTRINA
I mean, a date doesn’t imply any sexual attraction or feelings.
MARK
5
Oh really? So two guys could go on a date?
TRINA
I guess? If you’re into that sort of thing now.
(MARK is not amused)
TRINA
Kidding. I use the word date loosely. You know; date, meeting,
get together, engagement.
MARK
I don’t think the word engagement can be used.
TRINA
I guess you haven’t changed.
MARK
She forgives but she doesn’t forget.
TRINA
I’m just giving you a hard time. I forgave and I forgot. Happy?
MARK
Thrilled. (Sarcastic)
TRINA
You never told me why you were in town.
MARK
Well actually, I just took a new job.
TRINA
Right here in L.A?
MARK
Uh-huh.
TRINA
That’s great. A teaching job?
MARK
Sort of.
TRINA
Sort of?
MARK
I’m a minister now.
6
(TRINA Laughs at this, but catches
herself when she realizes that
MARK isn’t joking.)
TRINA
Oh, you’re serious. A minister?
MARK
(Nods)
TRINA
Why?
MARK
Why? I felt it was my calling. I had this need to contribute to
something, and I took comfort in committing myself to the Lord.
TRINA
Ah, yes. Commitment.
MARK
I’d be sitting in church- Do you go to church?
TRINA
Hell No. (Catches herself) Sorry. I happen to think God is like
Santa Claus for adults.
MARK
What…how can you say that?
TRINA
I’m just not a fan of the whole Heaven and Hell thing. Or
confession. Or getting up early. I guess I don’t like anything
about organized religion. (Awkward silence) But good for you!
(WAITRESS enters)
WAITRESS
Sorry to interrupt, but we are all out of Italian dressing. We
have Ranch, Blue Cheese, or our House dressing.
TRINA
Just scrap the salad then.
WAITER
Are you sure?
TRINA
Positive.
7
(WAITRESS exits)
MARK
So, what have you been up to? Same job?
TRINA
No, actually. I’m a lawyer now.
MARK
Really?
TRINA
Yup. I finally passed the bar.
MARK
(Laughs)
TRINA
Why is that funny?
MARK
Well that explains why you don’t believe in Hell.
TRINA
Oh, so you’re a minister and a comedian.
MARK
Oh, come on. I didn’t mean any harm.
TRINA
(Coldly)
Of course. You never do.
(Awkward silence. MARK is
uncomfortable and can’t stand it.
He takes a drink of his coke.
TRINA grins and takes a sip of her
wine)
MARK
Just like old times.
(The waiter brings out a tray with
food.)
WAITRESS
Are we ready for the main course?
TRINA
Oh, I think we’re more than ready.
8
(WAITRESS puts the food down on
the table and the lights fade.
MARK and TRINA sit back in their
chairs. Time has passed and dinner
is now over. Lights fade up.)
TRINA
I’m stuffed. I don’t think I can eat another bite.
MARK
I can.
(MARK reaches across the table
with his fork and takes a bite
from
TRINA’S
cake.
TRINA
is
clearly annoyed by this, but does
not confront MARK. TRINA shrugs it
off and is going to let it pass.)
MARK
What?
TRINA
Nothing.
MARK
You gave me the look.
TRINA
No I didn’t.
MARK
Yes, you did. I took a bite of your cake, and you gave me “The
look.”
TRINA
Well, you took a bite of my cake.
MARK
You said you couldn’t eat another bite.
TRINA
I meant right now. I was going to have the rest boxed up.
(MARK laughs and TRINA gives him
another “Look.”)
MARK
You were going to have three little bites of cake boxed up?
9
TRINA
Isn’t that what I just said?
MARK
Okay, so we’ll get a box.
TRINA
No. It’s fine. (It’s obviously not)
MARK
No, you want to take your three bites home, we’ll get a box.
TRINA
I wanted to take my three bites home; two bites I’d rather just
leave.
(WAITRESS enters with the check.)
WAITRESS
Anything else I can get for you tonight?
(MARK looks at TRINA)
TRINA
Oh, I think we’re all set.
WAITRESS
Great.
(WAITRESS puts the check down on
table)
WAITRESS
Have a great night.
(MARK picks up the check and
places his credit card inside.
TRINA takes out her purse.)
TRINA
Can I see that?
MARK
(Unable to help himself)
I don’t know… can you?
TRINA
(Through her teeth)
May I see that?
10
MARK
It’s all right, I got it.
TRINA
I don’t want you to get it. I would like to pay for my half of
the meal.
(MARK picks up the check as if he
is going to hand it to her.
Instead he places it at the bottom
corner of his side of the table,
farther from TRINA’S reach.)
TRINA
You’re being childish.
MARK
I’m being a Gentleman.
TRINA
You’re being a prick! Now please let me see the check.
(MARK holds up the check, and
opens it so she can see it. TRINA
can see the check now, but this is
not what she wanted.)
MARK
Let me know when you’re finished.
TRINA
Just give me the God damn check!
MARK
(Getting Embarrassed)
Please keep your voice down.
TRINA
What for, we’re the only ones still here.
(TRINA grabs for the check, but
MARK still has a hold of it and
holds it behind him, out of
TRINA’S reach. TRINA lets her arm
down on the table, elbow first.
Her arm is now in an arm wrestling
pose and she gets an idea.)
11
TRINA
Let’s arm wrestle for it.
MARK
What?
TRINA
Arm wrestle.
(TRINA starts clearing off the
table. She needs to remove the
salt and pepper shakers, the
center piece, and candles.
MARK
I heard what you said, I just didn’t think you were serious.
(TRINA stops for a moment to
answer him, and then continues
clearing off the table.)
TRINA
Why not? Scared?
MARK
I am not scared. I just think you’re being foolish. You want the
check, it’s yours.
TRINA
No. Let’s play for it.
(TRINA
clears
silverware.)
her
plate
and
MARK
But I’m willing to pay for it.
(TRINA assumes the arm wrestling
pose)
TRINA
You’re scared you’re gonna loose to a girl.
MARK
Yeah, right.
(MARK looks around. They are in
fact
the
only
ones
in
the
restaurant.)
12
MARK
All right.
(MARK
clears
his
plate
and
silverware.
MARK rolls up his
sleeves and locks his arm with
TRINA.)
TRINA
One…Two…Three.
(At first they are dead even.
Eventually they begin to struggle
back and forth, but then TRINA
hold her own and looks like its no
problem as MARK struggles a bit.
TRINA finally wins. TRINA picks up
the bill and hands it to MARK.
WAITRESS entered just in time to
see the ending if the fight, and
notices table settings are now on
the
floor,
but
doesn’t
say
anything.)
WAITRESS
Did you want me to take that for you?
TRINA
Yes, but can you please add a chocolate cake to the bill? To go.
WAITRESS
Sure, anything else?
(TRINA looks at MARK)
MARK
No, that’ll do it.
(WAITER exits with check. TRINA
and MARK are silent for a moment,
and have their eyes locked on each
other. TRINA stands up.)
TRINA
(Bragging)
Excuse me, I have to use the ladies room.
(TRINA exits stage left, making
sure she shows MARK her “assets.”
MARK takes TRINA’S plate and eats
one of the pieces of cake that is
left. The WAITER enters and gives
MARK the bill, and sets a cake box
13
down on TRINA’S side of the
table.)
WAITRESS
You let her win, right?
MARK
(Shakes head no)
WAITRESS
YES!!! (To kitchen) Sam, you owe me ten bucks!
(MARK looks at the cake box, then
towards the ladies room. MARK
reaches across the table and grabs
the last piece of cake on TRINA’S
plate using his fingers and shoves
it into his moth. Lights fade
out.)
THE END