Honoring Parents by Offering
Healthy Relationship Education
North American Society of Adlerian Psychology Conference
June, 2009
Presenters:
Kim Allen, Ph.D.
Director of the Center on Adolescent Sexuality, Pregnancy and Parenting (CASPP)
Human Development/Family Studies State Specialist
Understanding Poverty
“No significant learning occurs
without a significant relationship.”
-- Dr. James Comer
Situational Versus Generational
 Situational poverty
 Results from a change in circumstances – job loss, divorce, death of a spouse.
 Values and behaviors of the socioeconomic class from which people come
remain with them.
 Tend to have more resources.
 May be more employable because they often have a higher level of education.
 Generational poverty
 Two or more generations of the same family have lived in poverty.
 May be better able to cope with living in poverty.
 Tend to have predictable patterns of behavior.
Sources:
Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and
communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
Hidden Rules
Among Socioeconomic Classes
Poverty
Middle Class
Wealth
POSSESSIONS
People
Things
One-of-a-kind items
MONEY
To be used, spent
To be managed
To be conserved,
invested
FOOD
Quantity is key
Quality is key
Presentation is key
TIME
Present is most
important
Future is most
important
Traditions and history
are most important
PERSONALITY
Value humor
Value
achievement
Value financial,
political, and social
connections
DRIVING FORCES
Survival,
relationships,
entertainment
Work,
achievement
Financial, political,
social connections
Source:
Payne, R. K. (1998). A Framework for understanding poverty. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
Tyranny of the Moment
 Life is unpredictable – every day there is a new crisis that must be
dealt with.
 Lack of affordable and dependable child care
 Unreliable transportation
 Job stability
 Because there are few certainties, it is difficult to plan ahead.
Language Differences

When attention is focused on survival, other areas tend to suffer.
Between the ages of 1 and 3, children receive the following
ratio of positive to negative comments:
Professional parents
5 positive for every
2 negative
Working class
2 positive for every
1 negative
Poverty
1 positive for every
2 negative
By age 4, children are exposed to the
following number of words:
Professional parents
45 million
Working class
22 million
Poverty
13 million
Sources:
Paris, S. G., & Stahl, S. J. (Eds.). (2005). Children’s reading comprehension and assessment. Mahwah, NJ:
Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Payne, R. K., DeVol, P. E., & Smith, T. D. (1999). Bridges out of poverty: Strategies for professionals and
communities. Highlands, TX: RFT Publishing.
Fragile Family Research
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Young
Unmarried
African-American, Latino, and Caucasian
Parents
Often with Educational Issues
Sometimes with Counseling Aversions
Often from Families without Positive Marriage Traditions
On the Cusp of Generational Poverty
With More Dreams than Skills
What Is
Connecting for Children?
 Partnership between University of Missouri Extension and Central
Missouri Community Action Head Start
 Funded by the Office of Head Start Healthy Marriage Initiative
 Features Weekend Retreats and Relationship Workshops
What Is
Connecting for Children?
 Eligibility guidelines:
 Pregnant or have a child age 5 or younger
 Single or in a non-violent relationship
 Live in one of the following counties: Audrain, Boone, Callaway,
Cole, Cooper, Howard, Moniteau, or Osage
 Income-eligible for Head Start (130% of poverty level)
 Participation is voluntary
Weekend Retreats

All-expense paid Retreats – English or Spanish

Couples or co-parents
 Couples Part 2
 Singles or people in relationships who are coming alone
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Program pays for extra hotel room for caregiver and
children when needed, as well as meals for all
Facilitated by Community Trainers
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Seven couples and three individuals trained
Ten Couples’ and three Singles’ Retreats held to date
Couples’ Retreats
Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney
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Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum:
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Showing Understanding
Expression Skill
Discussion Skill
Problem Solving
Managing Conflict
Couples’ Retreats - Part 2
Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney
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Focuses on the following skills provided in the curriculum:
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Coaching Skill
Maintaining Changes
Using Skills Any Time, Any Place
Following Through on Change
Helping Others Change
Option being offered beginning in Year 2 of our grant; 16
couples have already expressed an interest
Singles’ Retreats

How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette) curriculum, by John Van Epp
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Helps participants learn how to build healthy relationships using both
head and heart – emphasizes pacing a relationship.
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Love’s Cradle curriculum, by Mary Ortwein & Bernard Guerney
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Addresses the skills that can help regardless of whether or not
participants are in a relationship – Showing Understanding, Expression
Skill, and Discussion Skill.
Educational
Workshops
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Saturday or Weekly Sessions – English or Spanish
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Weeknights – Cover 1-2 topics over several months
Saturdays – Cover 4 topics over three Saturdays
Workshop Topics
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Getting to Know You
Lighten Up—Love and Laughter
Couple Communication
Fire Prevention: Managing Conflict in Relationships
Family Ties – Complex Family Relationships
Money, Money, Money
To Work
Healthy Minds
Healthy Relationships
Parenting with Love
Just Cool It! Managing Anger in Couple Relationships
Safety
In working with a low
income audience, what are
some things we need to do
to be successful?
Building an
Inclusive Program
What Experts Say
What We Do With CFC
Be attentive to DV concerns
DV screening at intake
Consult with a DV specialist
Build partnerships with community
agencies
Work with community agencies to help
us recruit
Invite members of the target audience to
a focus group
Invited a Head Start family to participate
on the CFC Advisory Board
Gather feedback from participants after
each session
Have plenty of food available
Have extra food and snacks at each
session
Use the media
Show a video clip to start off each
session
Building an
Inclusive Program
What Experts Say
What We Do With CFC
Use humor
Encourage facilitators to use humor
Use simple, informal language; Casual
Register
Materials are written at a 5th grade
reading level
Facilitators are taught to use casual
register with participants—they attend a
poverty training prior to facilitating
Use incentives as a reduction to barriers
Give participants gift cards and gas cards
Be sensitive to the ‘tyranny of the
moment’
Participants who do not show up are
given an opportunity to attend future
events
Less lecture, more activity
Lessons are activity-based
Resources
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Marketing materials
Curricula
Questions?
Thank You!