Thinking about Losses and
Grief Differently
 Universal phenomena
Is challenging and distressing
 But it can be transformational, and most
of us overtime develop skills and attitudes
that assimilate our losses in our lives in a
functional manner
Psychotherapy and Psychotherapists
 Often miss or fail to identify the presence of loss and
grief – unless of course the intake tells us the person is
coming for bereavement counselling
 Bereavement: period of sorrow following the death of a
significant other
 However, grieving a death of a loved one – is similar as
other losses and may invoke similar responses
Loss Responses: Non-Death and Death
 We experience:
 Sadness, we confront and avoid painful emotions, we
attempt to reorganize our world, we struggle with
connection and disconnection
 Our new losses trigger material from our old world
(attachment theory) we year to return to these preloss
circumstances
 We try to make sense of losses, or make meaning, we are
paralyzed, we are transformed, and struggle to integrate
losses into our lives
Loss and Grief
Terminology
 Bereavement: period of sorrow following the death of a significant
other
 Loss: real or perceived deprivation of something deemed
meaningful (death or non-death related)
 Grief: an emotion generated by an experience of loss characterized
by sorrow and/or distress, and the personal and interpersonal
experience of loss.
 Coping: Time limited reaction in which an event is endured or
momentarily managed with coping skills
 Loss Adaptation: Process of adjusting to loss/grief (active process
of modification, revision, reorganization, and assimilation over time
Changing Ideas
 Not linear - there is not necessarily a characteristic set
of processes that each griever experiences or phases he
she must pass through
 Not abnormal – don’t necessarily need to detach/sever
from object we are grieving over
 Grief doesn’t necessarily end
 We are not passive victims over our grieving
 We must assume personal, social, familial, historical,
and cultural influence our grieving and healing – but not
necessarily get caught by them
Grief is an individual
phenomena!
Depending on Time:
Chat About Cases
Kito
Elena
Jane
Billy