Lecture 2: Attachment, Love,
Loss,Change, and the Research
Project
Today’s Agenda:
a) Select Reading from Oxford Book of Death
b) Introduce Attachment Theory and its Affect on Love and Loss
c) Break
d) Completing the RAQ
e) Movie application “Good Will Hunting”
Solowoniuk 2010
1
Part 1:
Attachment
Let’s not get ahead of
ourselves...
✤
What is love?
✤
Is the book talking about love or about attachment?
✤
Are they correlated?
3
Here’s a quote that I think
captures it...
✤
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built
against it.
✤
Rumi
4
Attachment Theory
✤
Definition of Attachment:
✤
An enduring emotional tie to a special person, characterized by
a tendency to seek and maintain closeness, especially during
times of stress.
5
✤
John Bowlby applied ethology
to infants
Roots of Attachment
✤
Theory
Influenced by Konrad Lorenz
✤
Infant’s innate behaviours
are evolved responses
which promote survival
✤
These behaviours
include: sucking,
crying, smiling,
clinging, and following.
✤
Behaviours are
modified from
inception by the
behaviour of the
Primary Care Figure
(PCF).
6
Konrad Lorenz
QuickTime™ and a
decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
PCF reactions...
✤
✤
Bowlby found that temporary separations from PCF evoked distinctive
type of reactions (separation anxiety) from infant, toddler, etc.
More importantly, he showed how infant/toddler’s reactions upon PCF
return may evoke the very behaviour the infant/toddler intended to
prevent.
9
Enter: Mary Ainsworth
Made the
distinction
between
strength of
attachment
and security
of
attachment.
“Is the child who clings to his mother - who is afraid of the world and the people
in it, and who will not move off to explore other things or other people - more
strongly attached or merely more insecure?”
Ainsworth
The natural
question that
had to be
asked was:
Development of the Strange Test
✤
Developed experiment /method to classify patterns of attachment
between infants and mothers: Strange Situation Test (SST) during
separation.
✤
Led to the development of 2 categories of attachment
✤
1 type being Secure and 3 types of Insecure.
11
Strange Situation
Secure Attachment
Infant / toddler uses caregiver as
a secure base
May show distress at separation,
but the baby can be soothed at
reunion
Parents of these children display
sensitivity to infants/toddlers needs
Some parents report having
attachment issues of their own from
the past, but have gotten over them.
Interestingly, their marriages are
also less likely to be conflicted than
those of the parents of insecurely
attached children.
QuickTime™ and a
decompressor
are needed to see this picture.
Insecure - Anxious / ambivalent
✤
✤
Infant/toddler(s) (IFT) found on the SST who have PCF’s who are
over-anxious, insensitive to their child’s needs, and discourage
exploration.
(IFT)
✤
Shows great distress during separation
✤
Clings and cries angrily upon return
✤
Distress continues after reunion for much longer than securely
attached infants
14
Insecure / avoidant
✤
✤
✤
Are infant/toddler(s) (IFT) found on the SST who have MFC’s who do not
show feelings, cannot tolerate closeness, punish child’s attachment
behaviour.
(IFT) then learns to:
✤
Inhibit their tendency to cling and cry
✤
During the SST when (MFC) re-appears (IFT) appears indifferent and
uncaring will even ignore (MFC). But this is not the true case as inside
they are physiologically aroused.
Research has showed that (MFC’s) can be responsive to (IFT’s) under low
levels of stress, but under high levels become less responsive.
15
Disorganized / disoriented
✤
In this case the IFT has a MFC who often feel helpless, and are frightened by their
own children.
✤
The MFC often lacks in confidence with respect to their ability to care for and control
their child and they may see their child as more powerful than themselves.
✤
✤
✤
Ultimately, this conditions the (IFT) to develop disorganized and contradictory
behaviour.
(IFT’s) may cry during separation but avoid the MFT upon return or they may
approach the MFT upon return then freeze/fall, hit themselves, rock back and
forth, etc.
This group shows the greatest distress and in adult life have the most problems
in living.
16
The Disorganized / Disoriented MFC: Why?
Experience of their own childhood trauma
Active addictions
Loss of parent before birth of child
Currently experiencing a trauma / related
problem
How Reliable is the SST... Is
Attachment for Life
The SST and attachment theories are a science - not the
truth.
They are based on observances, cutoff scores, etc.
SST doesn’t measure strength of attachment
All attachment patterns have a function...
Function of Insecure Attachments
WHY WOULD CHILDREN CONTINUE TO ACT
APPARENTLY INSECURELY ?
ANXIOUSNESS / AMBIVALENCE
AVOIDANT
(Cling / Stay close / Protest)
(Stands of own two feet / seek dependence / inhibit feelings)
DISORGANIZED / DISORIENTED (Stands of own two feet / seek
dependence / inhibit feelings / act inconspicuous / withdraw / freeze / )
Thoughts folks?
Attachments in later
childhood
Major theme in the book and partly the course - how
does attachment predispose one to chronic or
complicated grief?
This will be the topic of study for about 3 - 4 weeks.
But, first let’s look at how attachment patterns show
up in adult life. Some of this is theoretical some of
this has been validated through studies.
Attachments in later childhood
what do we think we know?
Attachments patterns that have been established by two
years of age appear to remain stable and predict quality of
relationships in later childhood
Anxious / ambivalent school children seem to lack
confidence and assertiveness necessary for interaction with
peers.
Avoidant children show more aggression to other children
and teachers rate them as more hostile, impulsive, and
withdrawn.
Meanwhile, disorganized children appear to be a risk for
psychiatric problems in later childhood (12 and beyond).
Further research has demonstrated that attachment patterns
are indeed hard to break and that the assumptive world that
the child experienced between 0 - 2 is the lens in which
they view world as older children.
This is important because ...
It’s all about
building trust!
Trust in Self and Others
The goal of the parent is to?
According to Parkes:
“The principle function of parenting is to provide a
secure base from which developing children will
learn the extent to which they can rely on
themselves and the extent to which that can rely
on others” (pg. 17)
Four Categories of Basic
Trust
Self Trust
Other Trust
High
High
Anxious /
Ambivalent
Low
High
Avoidant
High
Low
Disorganized
Low
Low
Secure
Attachment
Insecure
•
Problems can arise
from a lack of trust, but
trusting too much can
also lead to similar
problems.
A word about Trust
•
•
For instance, self
doubts of anxious /
ambivalent children
will make them more
willing to seek help
when help is needed,
but they also may
open themselves to
exploitation.
Similarly, the securely
attached may be too
willingly to trust
Part II: Loss and
Change / A Brief
Overview
Why Grief?
Love = attachment
Who does well?
Loss
Grief
Who doesn’t ?
Determinants of Outcome after
Risks factors for
Bereavement:
complicated / chronic
Research says...
bereavement
1. Personal vulnerability of the bereaved
2. Attachment to the deceased
3. Events / circumstances lead up to and
including death
4. Social supports and other circumstances
taking place after death
5. Dependent relationships
6. Ambivalent relationships
ALL IN ALL EMPIRICAL
STUDIES...
SHOW A VARIETY OF
FACTORS INFLUENCE
THE EXPRESSION of
Grief... BUT THEY DON’T
EXPLAIN WHY?
Grief as a process of change
early research and
theory building
never meant to
denote that normal
grieving had stages
Tow
According to parkes the study of grief, loss, and
bereavement is often muddled because it appears at times
that we are not studying the same phenomena.
•Thus he posits a definition of grief:
•Grief involves a serious loss and a reaction of intense pining or yearning for the
object lost (separation anxiety).
•He thens says if these components are missing the person
can be said to not be grieving...
Bereavement
Bereavement means: the state or fact of being bereaved due to
the death of a loved one.
it denotes a period of time.
During this period of time we are grieving but often their are other
reactions due to the fact of bereavement:
•
threats to our security
•
major changes to our lives
None of these is part of grief though they may complicate grief and cause
• Major changes in our family
lasting problems!
Complicated Grief
(Prigerson et al. 1995)
Seven symptoms constitute complicated grief:
Searching
Yearning
Preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased
Crying
Disbelief regarding the death
Feeling stunned by the death
Lack of acceptance of the death.
Other Grief Theories: Trying to
Answer the why?
Our Assumptive World
Reauthorizing Narratives
Meaning making
Shattered Assumptions
Illusions are unveiled
Dual Process Model of Grieving
Loss orientation and Restoration coping
Continuing Bonds
Deceased are carried within
The Research Project
Test clinical impressions/hypothesis which
suggest that:
(1) Love and loss are intertwined
(2) Childhood attachments patterns / separation from parents / relationships in later life influence how
we cope with stress and loss, and;
(3) Understand the problems/dynamics which cause people to seek help after bereavement in adult
life.
And ultimately, to understand the chains of
causation and to clarify the reasons why
some people come through the pain of
Bereaved participants
181 patients who attended Royal London
Hospital
43 men
138 women
74% had been bereaved for over a year before
entering into the study
average age 41
Relationship of the dead
n = 34
person to the respondent
n = 31
•
Spouse or partner
•
Mother
•
Father
•
Child
•
Stillbirth
•
Miscarriage
•
Sibling
•
Other
•
Multiple
•
n=9
n = 25
n=1
n=3
n = 12
n = 12
n = 33
FINDING YOUR ATTACHMENT TYPE: INSECURE /
SECURE
Section 11: Childhood
Vulnerability
Section 1: Parenting
Corresponding numbers
•
Parental distant control
Corresponding numbers
11, 15, 16, 28
•
Childhood illness
17, 18, 19, 20
•
Childhood timidity
•
Parental over protection
•
7, 8, 9a, 9b, 12
Parental depression / psych
•
Parental separation
•
6, 4
Parental unusual closeness
•
10, 13, 25, 26,
Parental rejection / violence
27
1, 3, 4, 5, 14
•
Childhood aggressive
distrust
•
Childhood Dresden vase
•
Childhood unhappiness
•
Childhood care giving
If “yes” is chosen for any indicated number give 1 point, if “no” zero point
5, 6
7, 10, 12, 15,
16, 24, 25
20, 26, 27, 28,
29, 30, 31
8, 14, 17,18,
19
9, 32, 33
11, 23
Scoring Exceptions
Most Yes/No questions are scored
Yes = 1
No = 0
Except for:
Section 1 question (1)
Section 1 question (2a)
Section 1 question (29)
Section IIi question (6)
Section iii question (9B)
No =
No =
No =
No =
NO =
1
1
1
1
1
FINDING YOUR ATTACHMENT TYPE: INSECURE /
SECURE
If you score 11 or less attachment style = insecure
More than 21 attachment style = insecure
Average score from bereaved study participants was 17
Other subcategories scoring to follow
SCORING YOUR ANXIOUS / AMBIVALENT
SCORE
SUM THESE CATEGORIES
PARENTAL UNUSAL CLOSENESS
SI
PARENTAL OVERPROTECTIVENESS
CHILDHOOD TIMIDITY
DRESDEN VASE
•
•
- 6, 4
SI - 17, 18, 19, 20
SII - 7, 10, 12, 15, 16, 24, 25
SII - 8, 14, 17,18, 19
10 MORE = INDICATES ANXIOUS AMBIVALENT ATTACHMENT
SCORE = 7 WAS AVERAGE SCORE FOR BEREAVED PARTICIPANTS
SCORING AVOIDANT
ATTACHMENTS
SUM THESE CATEGORIES
PARENTS INTOLERANT OF CLOSENESS
CHILD INTOLERANT OF CLOSENESS
SI - 28
SII - 26
CHILDHOOD AGGRESSIVENESS / DISTRUST
SII 20, 26, 27, 28,
29, 30, 31
•
•
SCORE OF 6 OR MORE INDICATES AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT
SCORE 3.8 WAS AVERAGE SCORE FOR BEREAVED PARTICIPANTS
SCORING DISORGANIZED
SUMATTACHMENTS
THESE CATEGORIES
FAMILY EXPERIENCE DANGER / PERSECUTION
PARENTAL REJECTION / VIOLENCE
SII - 4
SI - 10, 13, 25, 26,
27
PARENTAL DEPRESSION / PSYCH
SI - 7, 8, 9a, 9b, 12
CHILDHOOD UNHAPPINESS
SII - 9, 32, 33
COMPULSIVE CAREGIVING
SII - 11, 23
part I Good Will Hunting:
Group Emersion
Form Group’s
of
5
/
6
Group Task
and Questions
Select Captain /
Spokesperson
Task
Group is watch movie
and provide evidence of
attachment / grief
details related to movie
and characters.
Be as analytical as
possible
Video will be watched