Name : Phoebe Tu / 杜循君
Number : NA0C0009
Date : May 8th, 2013
Subject : 中英比對分析
Supervisor :鍾榮富教授
A comment on Chinese translation to English 爐火與清茶
According to Kuo’s and Chen’s translations, the questions are answered as below.
a. Which one do you think is better in general?
Kuo’s is the better one. In fact, I read Kuo’s before reading the Chinese text. Her
translation is gentle and the word usage is proper. I think she has her own style
when translating.
b. Which paragraph do you think is the best translation?
Why do you think so?
Kuo’s translation:
That is it suits for chatting when drinking coffee, but musing when drinking tea.
In British, the former made it appear some voluble wit but with limited
achievement, and the later made the great progress in poems, songs and moral.
What tea brings is peace and calm. Because of drinking tea, China was the
calmest country in the world before drinking the coffee.
Kuo doesn’t translate word by word, she uses meaningful sentences and follows
the author’s intension. As a reader, I can feel it more “philosophically.”
c. Try to make comments on
(i) the better part of the translation
The last paragraph of Chen’s:
I received a New Year card from a good friend from Taipei not long ago. He added
one sentence after urging me to write the manuscript, “the small city you live in is
now in the season of snowy days. The lives you have are celestial.” There are many
unfortunate things in one’s life so how could he call my life “a celestial life”?
Kuo’s:
I have received a letter form a friend in Taipei, he urged me to be hurry in writing
then reminded me: I think of the place you live is heavy snow right now, what a
godly life you run. There are many things you cannot expect, why do you called
it as a godly life?
I think Chen does well in this part, because he clearly translates the roles. In
Kuo’s translation, I misunderstand the text owing to the lack of punctuation. Also, she
doesn’t switch the narrator in the sentence that makes me confused.
(ii) the not so good part of the translation
The first paragraph of Chen’s
A light yellow and dynamic layer of color was added immediately in the room when
the light of sun was reflected into the room by the white snow. The unstoppable
lightning and moving fire and the occasional sounds that were created when the
woods were burnt gave people a pleasant feeling
I couldn’t get the true meaning of the text. It looks like a fiction movie, not a prose.
(iii) the part that in need of re-translating
The third paragraph of Chen’s
Here there is a “golden male deer” that is imagined by Katherine Mansfield, and there
is “wonderful world” that is praised by George Gissing. Before the advent of the
modern heating equipment, the side of the fireplace is usually the family’s activities’
center, which is also the most bustling place. Nowadays the number of the members
of a family becomes fewer, and each room is equipped with a heating so there might
emerge another situation: although the fire in the fireplace is attractive, there is only
one person looking at it near the fireplace.
I think this part is focus on the “feeling” not on the real objects. We can say, “family
members mainly do activities beside the fireplace.” Therefore, I think this part can be
improved.