11. 想像他是一隻瘋狗
生氣時怎麼辦?
想像對方只是一條瘋狗，
可以使你在憤怒時微笑；
在碰到宿敵時，
11. Imagine someone as a “Mad Dog”
What should we do when we’re angry?
Try to imagine the other as a mad dog that can make you laugh
when you’re angry. You can behave the easiness when you bump
into your enemy.
也可以擁有一種自在的雍容。
--To state it again, “Anger is belong to anyone.” Sometimes, one’s
--我再次重申，每個人都會生氣。
有些怒氣會有建設性的意義，有些則具有毀滅一生
的可能。
--憤怒是一艘很難駕馭的船，但他到底是一艘船，
決定載舟覆舟的人、掌舵的人，是你。
--我有一個道聽塗說的想像法，常能有效的化解我
的憤怒(如果我在憤怒時還想的起他的話)，那就是「瘋狗
的比喻」
。
--弟子問得道高僧，他覺得貪嗔癡中，嗔字他最難
克服，要如何處理自己的憤怒?
得道高僧反問弟子: 如果你是一個長途跋涉的旅
人，在途中遇到一隻瘋狗，莫名其妙的對你狂吠，你會:
anger has its constructive purpose, some are not, but always
accompany with the possibility of destruction of one’s life.
--Anger could be described as a boat which is hard to control. After
all, it’s still a boat. So, it can be determined by us to fall off from
the boat, or keep going smoothly.
--There is a hearsay method I use to overcome from the anger. (If I
can recall it when I’m angry) It’s called “The Metaphor of Mad
Dog”
--The apprentice asked the Great Monk: “In Buddha’s theory about
three sins of human, the anger is the emotion that is the most
difficult to overcome with. How can I deal with my anger?” The
great monk asked in reply, “If you are an experienced traveler,
一、 繞過他，繼續走自己的路。
encountered a mad dog barking at you in the halfway, what should
二、 趴下來，也對他狂吠。
you do?” Choice No.1: bypass it and keep going; choice No.2: lie
--相信，連小一的學生都會明白，
「一」才是理性的
down and bark it back.
選擇。
--「然而，在日常生活中，我們通常會選擇的是什
--It’s undoubted that even the elementary students will choose the
first choice as the best one.
麼?」每次在演講時這麼問，聽眾都會露出會心的微笑，
-- “However, which one we often choose when we face this kind of
很多人都會誠實的說，沒錯，我們都選「二」
。
situation in our daily life?” Whenever I ask my audience in the
speech, they always give me a knowing smile, and respond
honestly “We will exactly choose the second choice.”
--「而且，我們不但會對他狂吠，還企圖咬他一口，看他
-- “Moreover, we will not only shout at that dog, also bite it. Let’s
厲害還是我厲害，對不對?」
see who the boss is, isn’t it?” There are lots of people nodding.
很多人都點頭。
--Because of anger, there will be a thought of revenge comes up to
--因為憤怒，我們會有種報復心。
our mind. The act of revenge does not make any profits for us, but
報復並不會讓我們嘗到甜頭，但我們總是忍不住反擊，即
we often do it repeatedly, even if this kind of behavior causes
使這類反擊損人不利己，且降低了我們自己的人格。
destruction to both side and decent our dignity.
--當你與一個人為敵，或企圖報復一個人時，沒錯，
--When you are fighting against with someone, or trying to take
不管你多瞧不起那個人，你會不自覺得把自己拉到和她一
revenge to someone; that’s it, no matter you look down upon
樣的水平上。
someone, you will put yourself onto the same scale level as
--在辦公室裡、在家庭裡、甚至是擁擠的車陣裡，
someone does unconsciously.
或許在你遊山玩水的時候，我們都曾遇到那麼一隻狂吠的
--We might meet any mad barking dog in the office, in the family,
狗。
even if in traffic jam and in the time you’re sightseeing. It will be
那隻瘋狗，有時是陌生人，有時是你最親愛的人。
sometimes the strangers, or your lovely ones, to be that mad dog.
--不是每隻狗的吠叫都值得回應，其實，事後冷靜
--It doesn’t worth to deal with anyone’s anger; in fact, if we think
想想，一千隻狗中大概有九百九十九隻不值得回應，其中
of it wisely, there would be no more than one out of a thousand to
唯一值得回應的狗吠，是由你的親人發出的。遇到親人發
take action with. The only one that worth to deal with is made by
出狂吠，繞道而行，冷漠處之絕對不是好方法，但我們不
your family members. When facing the anger made by your family
需要以狂吠來回應他，他或許只需要你拍拍頭，好好安慰
member, it’s not the best idea to ignore it, or handle it
或安撫她。
apathetically. We don’t have to reply them by using the same rude
--想像他只是一條瘋狗，可以使你在憤怒時微笑；
在碰到宿敵時，也可以擁有一種自在的雍容。
畢竟，沒有人能控制你的腦袋，也無人可以得知你
attitude; maybe he/she only needs us to comfort them.
--Try to imagine the other as a mad dog that can make you laugh
when you’re angry. You can behave the easiness when you bump
在想什麼，不是嗎?
into your enemy. After all, there is no one can control your mind
“動怒的人張開他的口，但卻閉上眼睛”
and read our thoughts, isn’t it?
--卡托(Cato the Elder)
“An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes.”
-- Cato the Elder
【氣急著，必敗壞】
【There must be something wrong when impetuous.】
--有的人不是脾氣壞，只是急躁，但急躁這種性格，
在工作上有時比壞脾氣還要糟。
--阿群在公司裡負責的是行政庶務，有時間老闆的
司機，做事很積極，只要把事情交給他，他一定在第一時
間努力、積極的去辦。
--但，努力辦，費力辦，未必會成功。她常為
了辦一件小事費盡九牛二虎之力，讓人好氣又好笑。
--比如，某天老闆要他去辦幾件事:「先到北投
A 公司拿一個文件，再到忠孝東路的 C 大樓辦公室巡視一
下，看我們的保全系統有沒有問題，在到大直 B 公司送一
--We can’t define someone is bad tempered; they are just
impetuous. But the act of impetuous will somehow be worse than
being bad tempered in working place.
-- A-Chun is in charge of administrative general affairs, and his
boss’ driver. He works hard; if someone has assigned him tasks,
he’ll do them right away and actively.
--However, it doesn’t lead to success no matter how hard he works
or how much effort did he put. He often put too much effort on
little things. That makes others feel annoying and funny.
件東西，再去景美的分店把一台機器送到天母分店。」
--台北市分明沒多大，這些事情，他花了一整
天還做不完。
--為什麼呢?因為他真的照著老闆交代的流程
--For example, on one day his boss assigned him to do some affairs:
“You need to head to company A at Beitou to get some files, and
then go to the office in C building on Zhongxiao E Rd to check if our
去做。先到北投(北方)，再去忠孝東路(東方)，再到大直
security system is running or not. Next, you need to reach at
(偏北方)，再去景美(南方)，又到天母(北方)。他走了許
company B at Dazhi, and deliver the machine from the branch at
多重覆的路，就是沒有先用腦袋想一想，規劃一下路線。
Jingmei to the one at Tianmu.”
以免浪費那麼多時間。
--The Taipei city is not actually big, but he couldn’t have these
things done within a day!
--Why he couldn’t? That’s because he did follow the order his boss
said! He first went to Beitou (northern side), and headed to
Zhongxiao E Rd. (eastern side), and then reached at Dazhi
(northern side), and then went to Jingmei (southern side), and
finally to Tianmu (northern side). He had so many routes walked
by repeatedly, but never thought of it in advance and manage his
routes to these places, in order to prevent from so many time
losses.
--最有趣的是，有天他的老闆跟我感嘆道:「阿群這
--The most interesting thing is that on one day his boss told me
個人真是讓我又好氣又好笑。有次我請他十二點來接我，
emotionally “A-Chun did make me feel annoying and funny.
時間到了，他還沒到，我問他到哪裡去了，他跟我說:『老
There is a time I told him to pick me up at 12 AM. When I am on
闆，你今早要我去繳的那筆稅單，我跑了好幾家銀行，他
time, waiting for him, but he is late! I called him and him where he
們都不收，所以我遲到了。』唉……那個稅單上面，分明
goes. He said:”I went to several banks to pay for the tax bill you
寫著只有某家指定銀行收款，他看也不看，只要看到銀
asked me this morning, but the banks refuse to accept it. That’s
行，就進去繳，碰了兩次壁他還沒發現問題。而且，後來
why I’m late.” Sigh……. That tax bill has words written that this bill
我還收到他違規停車的罰單。」
can be accepted only by certain bank, but he didn’t even read it.
Whatever which bank he discovered, he went in and trying to pay
--「我跟他說:『喂!上面有字你沒看嗎?我早上不也
for it, and didn’t find out this problem even if he was rejected by
告訴過你，只有某家指定銀行收嗎?』他還振振有詞的說:
two banks!”
『阿我就急著要繳，沒時間看，怎麼只有一家銀行收阿，
真過分!』唉，我真不敢叫他做事，他常把是越做越複雜。」
--“I told him “Hey! Didn’t you see the words on this bill? I did also
tell you that this tax bill cab be accepted only by certain bank?”
--阿群是個好人，脾氣不差，就是急躁。有句形容
But he replied argumentatively: “At that time, I was rushed to
詞叫做「氣急敗壞」，氣急著必敗壞，古人還真是明智。
handle with it, without time to take a look at it! Why this tax bill
氣急，所以沒先用腦袋想，搞砸了事情，還怨別人沒交代
can be accepted only bi certain bank? That’s not reasonable.”
好，是急躁者的常態。這樣的人，再怎麼積極努力，也很
Sigh…… I’m now afraid of assigning him any works; he always does
難成功，誰敢把大事交給他啊?
things complicated.”
--A-Chun is a good guy, and good tempered. His only disadvantage
「在人含怒時，千萬要注意兩點: 第一不可惡語傷人，第
is impetuous. There is a proverb goes, “flustered and exasperated”;
二不可因怒而輕泄隱密」
when you are anxious or disconcerted, there must be something
-- 培根
goes wrong. How smart and wise our ancestors are! Because of the
anxiousness, we can’t really think carefully, blow it in result, and
scold others didn’t tell him/her clearly. That’s the common failing
of person who is flustered. No matter how hard they work, it’s still
hard for them to success. In this case, who dare to give important
jobs for them to finish.
15. 讓你生氣的人永遠都在
15. The ones make you angry will never extinct.
What should we do when we’re angry?
生氣時怎麼辦?
We need to tell ourselves that even if the person you hate the
告訴自己，就算最討厭的人消失了，
most is gone, the second ones will fill that vacancy, to be the
次討厭的也會遞補上來，
person you hate the most.
變成最討厭的。
So, what we need to pay special attention is to cultivate our
所以，最重要的是:
interpersonal pressure endurance.
訓練自己的人際抗壓性。
--“I want to quit my job! I can’t even being happy during the
--「我要辭職，我真的很不快樂。」某天，我收到
了一封簡訊。
--是一位進公司不久，但表現相當優異，看起來既
可愛又耐操的員工阿金傳來的。
--我非常欣賞阿金，她是屬於任勞任怨的類型，曾
work!” I received this text message someday.
--This text message is sent by A-Jin, a newbie employee with good
performance, high pressure endurance and cute appearance.
--I really appreciate her personality, “working without
complaining”. Once she had her toenail flip up after doing too
經為了幫公司跑腿，走太多的路，腳趾甲都掀了起來，她
much works for company by walking too much. Even though it
還忍痛穿著涼鞋來上班，繼續奔走，真是新生代的最佳典
hurt, she still wore scandals to work, and keep walking. She is the
範。
model of all working teenagers.
--「不快樂?為什麼?那是什麼辭職理由。」我嘀咕
著。
--“Why do you unhappy? What kind of reason is it?” I murmured.
--It’s not the playground, it’s a company! They are not responsible
--公司又不是遊樂場，並不負責你快樂不快樂。
for your good or bad emotions.
--後來問清楚了，原來這位任勞任怨的員工不快樂
--After that, I asked her the reason, and it’s all about her colleague,
的原因，是跟同事阿敏處不來。阿敏也任勞任怨，唯一的
A-min, the one A-Jin can’t get alone with well. A-min is also
問題就是說話很嗆。
“Working without complaining”, but the only problem is her acid
words.
--阿敏無法容忍別人批評她，只要有人對他提出建
--A-Min can’t really tolerant others’ critics. Whenever anyone tells
議，她的臉色就會變的很難看，馬上為自己辯白，或用一
her some advice, she will have horrible appearance, behave a
種驕傲的態度說: 「那你自己來做做看啊!」
proud attitude and answer back “Why don’t you do it yourself?”
--阿金一看到阿敏就很不舒服，她每天要很努力的
說服自己，才願意來上班。
--遇到討厭的人就想開溜的人不少，他們多半個性
溫和，沒有攻擊性，卻常以斷尾方式來逃命。
--我跟她說:「不管你到任何公司，都會遇到你討厭
--A-Jin usually feels uneasy when she meets A-Min; she even
always strives to persuade herself in the morning, in order to come
to work with rather easy felling.
--There are lots of people run away when meet their hatreds. They
are not only mild, also not aggressive; they usually ran away
的人，一直討厭也不是辦法。阿敏又不是你的上司，你可
awkwardly.
不可以暫時不理她，或不要跟她說話?因為她的工作項目
--I told her “No matter which company you’re in, you will always
絕大部分都跟你無關。」
meet the person you hate; but you can’t hate them forever! A-Min
--阿金是個「非典型草莓族」，很有能力，也願意
吃苦，但最脆弱的部分在人際關係。
--我要她思考一個問題:在一個公司裡，如果你要除
is not your boss! Can you ignore her for a while, or not talk to her,
since your work is mostly not related to her.”
--A-Jin is an “atypical strawberry generation”, which means she is
去最討厭的人，那麼，那個次討厭的就會變成最討厭的。
skilled, and works hard, but the interpersonal relationship is the
所以，最討厭的人永遠存在。
weakest link of her.
--不擇手段除掉對方，或自己逃走，都不是好辦法，
--I want her need to think about an idea: If you knock out the
你不是變成一隻憤怒的老鼠，就是變成一隻懦弱的老鼠。
person you hate the most out of the company, the second ones
所以，何不換個角度這麼想:
will fill that vacancy, and to be the person you hate the most. In
「討厭的人也有它存在的理由。」
that case, there will always have somebody you hate.
--No matter which method you use, such as knock out others, or
run away, they are not good treatments. Either you will be a fierce
tiger, or being an awkward mouse. So, you can think of it in
opposite ways:
“There are must be reasons for the existence of hatreds.”
「如果他不這麼做人，也不會有人喜歡他，那麼她
的人生注定失敗，何勞我對付他?」
“If she doesn’t behave like this to maintain her pride, then
nobody likes her. In this case, she is definitely a loser, and why
--我的想法或許消極，卻是多年職場經驗觀察來的
最佳守則。
should I need to fight against with her?”
--My thoughts maybe too negative, but it’s the best regulation of
--人際關係的抗壓性是慢慢訓練來的。
my work place observation for years.
--當你有了經濟壓力，不得不經歷經年累月的職場
--Interpersonal pressure endurance is cultivated progressively.
洗禮，你一定會變的皮堅肉厚。你要相信的是，真正討厭
--When you are under financial stress, you will be even stronger
的人自會找苦頭吃。
than ever after the journey of endanger work place relationships
for years. And what you need to believe is that the person you
「仇恨他人，就如同追趕老鼠，放火將自己的家焚
毀。」
--福斯迪克
hated the most will get into lots of troubles.
16.別跟他纏鬥下去
16. You don’t have to have brawls with others
生氣時怎麼辦?
What should we do when we’re angry?
遇到「膏膏纏」的辯論高手，
If you meet a pestered debater, it’s boring to be angry about that;
生氣很無聊，改變他更是不可能。
you can’t even change his/her thoughts.
避而不答，
To avoid answer his/her questions may have them more space to
或許反而讓他更有反省的空間。
reflect themselves.
--有人的思考邏輯真的很複雜，和你並不相同，而
且你一定要用他的邏輯來解讀你的想法，不輕易放過你。
--這樣的人，用台語念起來，叫做「膏膏纏(勾勾
--Some people have really complex logic, and different from yours.
At the same time, you need to use his/her logic to decode your
ideas，and he/she don’t want to stop his/her chatter box.
迪)」，我覺得這種唸法的感覺，比「糾纏」兩字更接近
--The way I describe this kind of people is”GOGODI” in Taiwanese. I
這樣的傢伙。
think this kind of description is much better and more appropriate
--我以前常因為某些記者的訪問而生氣，現在想來
最好笑的一件，應該是和某位廣州記者的書信來往。
--說起來，他的確是個很認真的記者，提了一大堆
than using the word “Pester”.
--I was really easy to be irritated by some interview given by some
journalist. When I think of it now, there was a funny interview with
密密麻麻的問題；明明是做兩性專訪，刊登訪問稿的版面
a journalist in Guangzhou by using letters.
也是很軟性的版面，但他的問題都非常非常嚴肅，大概每
--I have to say, he is indeed a hard working journalist, and he
一個問題都可以寫一篇社會學論文。
brought up so many questions; it is obviously that the interview is
for both sex, , and the interview should be so soft, but the
questions he deliver is so serious; I think the answers to every
questions can be written as sociology report!
--比如他要我分析大陸南方沿海城市女多男少的現
--For example, he wants me to analyze the phenomenon of female
象，並剖析這些現象對人口政策的影響；還要我回答大陸
group larger than male group in the southern cities along the coast
相當火紅的相親節目「非誠勿擾」是否物化女性，問我同
in Mainland China, and anatomize what this phenomenon can
意婚姻是一個交易嗎?
affect to the population policy; moreover, he wanted me to answer
--我盡力回答我所能回答的問題，答案回傳給他之
if the most famous blind dating program in Mainland China “” has
後，他又認真的從我的回答中找問題。「你說，愛情以互
the suspicion on materializing the female, and he also asked me if
惠為原則，那豈不是把愛情當成一種交易?一種經濟利益
the marriage is a transaction.
的輸送?那麼當小三值得鼓勵囉?因為小三跟包養者就是
--I did my best to answer those questions, but after I give him the
一種互惠的關係。難道你認為作家沒有社會責任嗎?」
answer, he was still trying to find questions from my answers.”You
--我後來發現，我的脾氣是和時間有關的，一過十
had said that love is based on reciprocal, which means t this kind of
二點，我的馬車就會變成南瓜，也就是說，到了半夜我最
love is a transaction? Or it’s a kind of transportation of economical
好不要跟人家討論問題。尤其是在又倦又累的時候，遇到
benefits? In this case, it’s fine to have other love affairs, since the
有人來「膏膏纏」，硬逼我用他的邏輯思考問題，我冒火
mistress and their secret lovers are indeed the relationship of
的機率就會很大。
reciprocal. Don’t you think an author just like you has
--前一晚，我回他的信回到半夜；這一晚，我在半
responsibility to the society?”
夜打開 E-MAIL 才看到他的信，我火大了，回他:「先生，
--The night before last night, I wrote an answer letter until
如果你堅持要用你的邏輯來看事情，那麼，請不要刊登這
midnight. Tonight, I saw his E-mail in the midnight, I replied with
篇訪問稿，我不希望被扣上任何帽子。」
anger “Sir, if you still want me to follow your logic to explain
--話說回來，從專業角度來說，讓受訪者感到不愉
anything, then please don’t publish this interview script. I don’t
快的記者實在不算好記者。但多年來我碰過好幾次這種似
want to be labeled.”
乎故意讓你心情不好，在你話中雞蛋挑骨頭好像是來跟你
--by the way, if we take a look at the whole interview in
開辯論賽的記者--絕大多數都是菜鳥。因為，如果堅持用
professional way, a journalist who makes the interviewee feels
這種方式做傳播業，保證你不會做到變老鳥。
uncomfortable is not a good journalist. But over years, I have met
so many journalists mean to make you feel awful, and pick out any
faults in your talk, seems like to hold a debate with you. You will
find that they are mostly amateur; because if they consist to do so,
they won’t success.
--第三天，我收到了回話。
「我千辛萬苦做這個訪
--The third day, I received the response. “I try my best to do this
問，當然不會放棄，我是就事論事，您有什麼好生氣的?
interview, I won’t give up. I just focus on the point, how come
您說我扣您帽子，也是在扣我帽子。又，我不是男的，也
you’re angry? You said that I labeled you, you are also labeled me.
是亂扣我帽子。」(「她」的名子像男的)
Also, I’m not male, so don’t label me as male.” (Her name sounds
--我看了簡直啼笑皆非，心想，別理她就好了，幹
嘛跟一個可能剛從大學辯論社出來的小輩生氣呢!
--回想前一天，我還真的挺氣的，而且氣的心跳加
like boys’ one)
--I don’t if I have to laugh or cry after reading it. At that time, I
think I don’t need to answer her! Why do I need to debate with a
速，恨不得把她大罵一頓(其實我心裡罵了「他」很多句
young fellow from the debate club in university?
三字經)，才回了那封不太有風度的短信。
--Look back on that day, I was really furious, and was about to
--心平氣和之後，我就知道自己很無聊，如果他真
break the limit of heart beat rate. I wished I could curse her badly (I
的很小人，故意把我的回信刊出，那我還真會被認為是一
actually sworn lots of dirty words to her in my mind.), and reply
個莽張飛型的作者。
her with bad manner.
--這件事讓我學到:
--After taking deep breathes, I know that I was silly. If she has bad
--一、不在第一時間回擊。再想想，或者把她的信
personality, she will mean to post my letter; in that case, somehow
刪掉就算了，讓她的信石沉大海，避而不答，她還可能比
I maybe labeled as quick-tempered author.
較有反省的空間。
--This experience teaches me:
--二、不在三更半夜處理複雜的問題。十一點之後
不看信件，睡覺時一定關機。
--三、如果我們的思考迴路真的不同，那就算了。
--First, I don’t have to fight back immediately. I need to think about
it wisely, or I can simply delete her letter, letting her letter lay in
the junk box forever without any reply. It may leave her some
要改變一個人的思考模式，是她媽媽也做不到的事情，謝
spaces to reflect.
謝他、再聯絡就好了，反正以後可能永世不相見，把自己
--Second, should not to deal with complex problems in midnight.
當成電腦，把那個人，那件事 delete 掉，幹嘛生氣。
Don’t check the mail after 11 PM, and must to turn off the energy
before sleep.
「愈是平靜，自然心平氣和。」 --靜思語
--Third, if both of us have different thinking logic, that’s ok. Even
his/her mom can’t change their thinking logic. It may rather fine to
say goodbye and tell them “contact you later”. After all, it’s
possible that we won’t meet each other anymore. We can imagine
ourselves as a computer; we can delete that person, that bad
memory. How come we need to angry about this?
12.他不是針對你
12. One is not directed against you.
生氣時該怎麼辦?
What should we do when we’re angry?
對某一個人的行為生氣前，
Before felling furious about one’s behavior, it doesn’t harm you to
不妨先默念三次
say this sentence three times, “One is no directed against me.” It’ll
「他不是針對我」這句話，
somehow water your sensibility of attack down.
可以沖淡你對攻擊的敏感度。
--Even if someone is define “a person that angry easily”, and they
--就算被視為「動不動就生氣」的人，也認為自計
每次生氣都有充分的理由。
--生氣的人像一隻刺蝟，刺蝟沒事不會把全身的刺
給豎起來，，一定是因為他們認為自己受到了攻擊。
--人也一樣，生氣，是因為他認為受到了攻擊。
有些人對攻擊的敏感度不佳，比較不容易生氣。
--有一些人對於攻擊的敏感度很高，動不動就生
always think that they have reasonable ideas to support their
anger.
--The person with anger likes a hedgehog. A hedgehog won’t prick
up their thorns without anything happens; they prick up their
thorns because of other’s attack.
--Same as human. They feel angry when they are attacked. Some
people are not sensible to other’s attack, and won’t angry easily.
氣，甚至到達杯弓蛇影的地步，他會把別人無心的一句話，
--Some people have high sensibility of attack, and easy to be raged.
當成是刺向自己的矛。
It will sometimes escalate to higher level of unnecessarily fear.
--面對著若有意似無意的攻擊，或讓你覺得很刺耳
的語言，你可以這麼想:「那不是針對我。」
They will read someone’s innocent words into words like the pike
aimed himself.
--我就常常用上這句話。
--Facing this kind of suspicious attack, or words that you feel
--如果把對攻擊的敏感度分成十級的話，我應該算
discordant, you can think of this sentence: “He/she is not directed
是第四、五級的那種人，記不太敏感，也不太遲鈍。
against me.”
--I always use this sentence.
--If we need to classify the sensibility of attack into ten levels, I
maybe in the forth, or fifth level; not that sensible, also not that
blunt.
--曾有位事業上的合作夥伴，本來是個謙和有禮，
--There was a partner I cooperate in business. She is originally a
很好相處的人，但人都是會改變的，當他的事業開始飛黃
person who is not only humble, also easy to get alone with; but it’ll
騰達，我也開始感受到來自於她的語言壓力。
change progressively. When she achieved in business, I was also
--有時我才說了一句話，他就馬上堵住我的嘴:「你
received her verbal pressure.
這樣說根本不通。」還用一種「你真是無知的笨蛋」的眼
--Once I just said something, she will stop my words immediately
神看著我。哇!那時我好生氣，從小到大沒有神說我笨哪!
“What you just said makes no sense” Sometimes, she even throw
--有時她會在我迅速說完後表示，「那根本不是理
an eye sight saying that “How silly stupid you are!” Wow! I was
由」，或「真正的關鍵在於…」這句話，暗示她的意思才
about to blow my top at that time! There was no one swore me as
是真知灼見，我說的還是一派胡言。
stupid since I was young!
--某次開會，她當主席，聽完我的陳述，她竟然連一
--Sometimes, after I express my idea rapidly, she will say “This is
點轉折的話也無，假裝沒聽見我說的話似的，馬上問另外一
not the reason……!” or “The key point is……”, which suggests that
個人完全不相干的問題。
her idea is the real solution, mine is non-sense.
--被當成空氣的感覺的確不好受。
--There was a meeting, and she was the chairman. After listening
--那陣子我看到她，臉色也很難看，而且每次看到
to my statement, she didn’t even give me any opposite ideas, and
她之後心情都很不好，卻又因為合作關係，不得不看到她。
--由於這種狀況持續好一陣子無法改善，我甚至跟
seemed like didn’t hear what I had said, asked other colleague by
asking some questions not related to the previous statement.
最好的朋友抱怨，我想要不惜損失，終止合作關係，只求
--It feels bad that you are ignored.
不要看到這個人。
--For a long while, when I saw her, I often had bad emotions;
--「她以前不是這樣的……而且，他對別人不會這
樣，特別故意針對我…」
whenever I saw her, I won’t feel good. Despite of it, I still need to
meet her since we are partners.
--It had last for a long time, and hard to repair. I even complained
about her to my best friend. I didn’t want to see that guy again
even if there will be a massive loss to stop this cooperation.
--“She won’t behave like this before…….and she won’t do it to
others, seemed like she is directed against me.”
--「她家裡似乎出了點問題，只是因為她很好強，
--“Something had happened in her family; because of her attitude
所以強壓住自己的情緒。」同時認識我們兩個人的一位友
of perseverant, she suppressed her emotion.” My friend A knowing
人 A 輕描淡寫的說:「難道不能用別的方式來看她的態度
me and that girl at the same time said “Could you examine her
嗎?或許……她不是針對你……是因為她自己的心情不
attitude in other way? Maybe……she is not directed against
好?」
you……or she just has a dark cloud covered her head?”
--我忽然被點通了，啊!或許「她不是針對我」?
--I was enlightened! Oh, maybe “she is not directed against me.”
--當我換了一種想法時，再次面對她時，我心情好
--When I revised my thoughts and meet her again, I feel better. It
多了。我感覺她和藹可親了許多，還有意無意對我微笑呢!
--沒過多久，A 跑來告訴我，
「你們兩個人真是好笑，
seems like she was much amiable, and she smiled to me
intentionally!
她也覺得你每次看到她，臉色都很不好，說話也故意刺傷
--No longer, my friend A came to me and said “Both of you are so
她，她說真的很難跟你相處下去。」
hilarious! She said that whenever meet you, you are always in bad
--原來，我們兩個人是處在惡性循環中，我覺得她
mood, and mean to say something bad that hurts her a lot.
對我充滿惡意，所以我不自覺得也拉下臉來，我們兩個不
Moreover, she said that you are hard to get alone with.”
習慣把事情說開的悶葫蘆，如果沒有人釋出善意，就會一
--In fact, both of us are in a vicious circle. Since I think she has bad
輩子懷恨下去。
intention, I do so as well, without any consciousness. If there is no
--對某個人的行為生氣前，不妨先默念三次「她不
是針對我」這句話。
one in us explain about this, we, two persons don’t used to say
thing too obvious, may hate each other forever.
--這句話可以沖淡你對攻擊的敏感度。
--Before felling furious about one’s behavior, it doesn’t harm you to
--對攻擊的敏感度太高，絕對不是一件好事。試想，
say this sentence three times, “One is no directed against me.”
如果一隻刺蝟一天二十四小時豎直了刺，你想你也可以預
--This sentence can water your sensibility of attack down a little
言，她過不了多久，就會壽終正寢。
bit.
--千萬不要活成一隻劍拔弩張的刺蝟，，這樣的人絕
--Too sensible to any attack is not good thing. Please think of this
對不償命!就算被惡毒的言語飛鏢射中，還不會致命，也不會有
example: if a hedgehog pricks up its thorns for the whole day, as
皮肉傷。但自己氣死自己，連真兇都找不到，最划不來。
you can foresee, it will doom soon.
--Please don’t have your life has similar condition like the
「動輒發怒是放縱和缺乏教養的表現。」
--普魯塔克
hedgehog with all thorns pricks up; if so, you won’t live long. No
matter how bad the words hurt you, like a dart, it won’t really
harm you, or get injured. But if you can’t control your anger,
without any reason, it doesn’t worthwhile!