1. The best translation is the third “The Experience of Buying Tea at Shrding”
(1) Overall, he or she translated this Chinese article into English the most fluently.
(2) Be able to delete some unnecessary sentences; reordering and adding words or
sentences to express what the Chinese article means.
(3) However, there are some errors of misspellings and grammar. Also, some words or
phrases are not appropriate in use. Therefore, I think that he or she should be very careful.
The underlined words are that I think they should be revised, omitted or added with the red
color.
I went to Shrding by an occasional chance and it’s (, which is ) a small town set in a
valley of Taipei County. After (When) leaving (I left) Taipei and passing through (passed)
Shenkeng and Tuku, there’s a high way (highway) that was embraced by high mountains on
one side and a brook on the other directly led to Shrding. 【Annotation: The subordinating
conjunction connects with two clauses, so both subjects should be the same. Meanwhile,
the subject in a subordinate clause can be omitted, and be replaced by the gerund.】
The high way (highway) was very narrow, and (so) one could even hear the murmuring of
the brook from the bottom of the cliff when stretching his/her head out of the car window.
The deep blue water accompanied by the green hills (mountains) was so enchanting although
it’s a drizzly (rainy) day.
Shrding was located at the source of this brook. There’s a small (X) lane that perhaps
couldn’t be counted as a street was (X) build beside (along) the brook.
Indeed, the small
(X) lane was build for all the houses, alone the side (near the brook), were supported by
stone pillars from the bottom of the brook. All the eaves of the houses on the small (X) lane
were connected together. Thus, while walking in the lane, one might fell liking (like)
walking inside someone’s house. Two stone bridges passed through the brook to connect
both sides of habitant (residences) and the high way (highway) ended in front of the bridge.
Later I learnt that before building the high way of Taipei-to-Yilan (the highway of Taipei to
Yilan was built), this place was the transfer post for Taiwan Basin to Lanyang Plain.
However, it’s no more prosperity (it is not prosperous no more) here now and it looked aged.
Fortunately, it wasn’t polluted by the modern life and still kept its past ancient (X) simplicity
excepting some TV antennas.
It’s quite interesting to maintain such a small simple town at
the end of the valley.
Getting (When getting) off from (X) the car, I looked up around the high mountains and
sometimes looked over (looked down at) the river (stream). I thought under such pure
circumstance, it certainly can certainly produce good tea leaves (under such pure
circumstances), for this area was the production area of Pao-chung tea particularly. As for tea
drinking, I was very persistent though it’s not one of my habits.
I wasn’t very sure since
(X) when I starting (started) liking the Pau-chung tea, and for years I haven’t changed my
preference of it (for years). Therefore, I always brought one pack of tea with me when I went
abroad and my family would send some for (to) me from Taiwan as it ran out.
Perhaps, its
natural fragrance was due to (because) it’s not been baked (dried), that’s why (that) it tasted
sweet but with a kind of mild bitter.
【Annotation:“Due to” is equal to “because of”, so its latter should connect the object
(the noun).】 When (After) brewing, the tea leaves were green and the tea was yellow. The
color of tea was really a kind of visual enjoyment for me.
At the very beginning, due to (because) my wife lived at Yilan, I drank Pauchung tea of
Wulaukeng. It’s said that the (X) Wulauken had the best water quality of Taiwan, thus; it
could produce good tea. Afterward, my wife’s family moved to Taipei so we could only buy
them when passing by. However, its taste was not as good as its origin.
Last summer
vocation, I again visited the Central Cross-Island Highway (again). When passing through
(X) Yilan by the Suao-Hualien Highway, I got the chance to visit the North-Link Railway to
see the Big John for digging tunnels. As passing by Wularukeng, I found a cement plaint
(plant) was (X) set there recently, and the rivers and mountains were covered with a layer of
dust. Therefore, the tea quality of Wulaukeng was changed.
For a time, I lived at Sintein where was very famous for its production of Wensheng
Pauchung tea. There’s also a tea company (shop) that (X) producing and selling their
home-make (homemade) tea next to the Highway station. The owner, who looked a little
fatty, was at his forty- something (about forty) and not very talkative. Since I bought his tea
very often, I became one of his major customers. After moving out from (of) there for a long
time, I went to Sintein to buy his tea, and he held my hands and kept chatting as like (if) we
were old friends. I thought the tea of Sintein not only tasted fragrant (good) but also made
me warm, just like what the fatty boss’s tea flavor and his enthusiasm to me. (as well as the
boss’s enthusiasm to me)
At first, I though (thought) I could buy some good tea while visiting Shrding, but I
couldn’t find any tea shop, (and) even I tried to walk back and forth alone in the small (X)
lane for many times. Thus, I couldn’t but asking a passerby of middle-aged woman if there’s
any tea shop here, and she answered me” yes” with a smile. Then When she took me to the
second floor (of) a small restaurant, and (X) she got (went) down the stair (stairs) hastily. In
fact, this restaurant was also built by the riverside, and there’re only three tables there and
each with four long chairs (benches). I though (thought) this kind of decoration couldn’t be
found in the big city any more. Soon I sat at a seat where just next to the window (seated
myself in a bench by the window) so that I could hear the murmuring of the brook outside.
The wonderful scenery and the murmuring of the brook inspired me a feeling of drinking
wine. Thus, I ordered some pork and a bowl of dofu soup, plus a bottle of while (white) wine
ordered (bought) from the next drugstore (grocery store), (and then) I started drinking alone.
Soon, the middle-aged woman came back with an old man who carried a big sack that
stuffing (stuffed) with tea leaves. He then put the sack down without saying a word, and
turned to the corner.
Later he opened (turned on) the gas stove and boiled a kettle of water.
He soon took two bowls to my table, and put some tea leaves into a bowl and added boiled
water. He then poured (spooned) the floating foam to another bowl and added boiled water
again.
Finally, he spooned up the tea from the bowl and tasted (it) with a smile. He stood
up (X) there and looked at me silently. And then, I drank some of the tea and nodded my
head (X) with a satisfied smile to him. He gave me a laugh, a laugh (X) with great
pleasure, as if his creation (has) aroused an echo in someone’s hearts (heart).
I invited the old man sitting, with a seat facing me, and he explained the processes of
(X) how to make tea with a heavy accent. Meanwhile, he grabbed some tea from the sack
and put them on my palm. He made me puffing (blow them) and then smelling (smell at
them), indeed; a kind of light fragrance flowed in the air. Thus, I pointed at the white wine in
the glass and the tea in (the) bowl by (X) saying, “They (both of them) did smell good, both
of them (X).” Afterward, I poured some wine for the old man and he immediately drank it
up. And I poured some for him again. While we were drinking both tea and wine, he talked
about his old days (affairs) with a slow tone. Since we were chatting happily, we both forgot
the purpose why we were there. We just kept talking with each (just) like we were old
friends, indeed; as if two old friends finally meet after a lengthy separation. We even
neglected when the moon raised in the murmuring of brook (with the murmuring of brook),
and how the rain was blowing slantingly (slantedly) by (in) the wind. We both forgot the
time.
2. The general translation is the first “Buying Tea in Shi-Ding”
(1) It is shadowed by the Chinese structure. Because he or she translated this Chinese
article into English one verbally, some sentences seemed not to convey what the author really
means.
(2) He or she should make good use of conjunctions or transitions. Because I felt
the content discontinuous, I could not link the meaning with sentences. For example,
The road is very narrow. I can hear the sound of the stream that comes from the bottom
of the ravine when I put my head out of the window. The water in the stream is deep blue.
The chain of mountains is green. Although it rained, the view of the chain of mountains still
looked dark green.
I think that he or she should translate it like below.
The road was very narrow, so I could hear the murmuring of the stream from the bottom
of the cliff when stretching my head out of the car window. The deep blue water
accompanied by the chain of mountains was so enchanting although it was raining.
(3) There are some errors of misspellings, grammar and tenses. Some words or phrases
are not appropriate in use. Therefore, I think that he or she have to be very careful as well.
When I got off the bus, I looked (up) at the mountains around me. I (,) looked (down) at
the stream and thought, “there must have (be) good tea in this place.” Drinking tea is not my
hobby, but I like to drink it. I don’t remember when I started to like drinking the green tea.
The habit of drinking green tea (it) hasn’t been changed for many years. Every time when I
go (went) abroad, I always bring (brought) one catty of green tea for private use. When I am
about to finish those that I brought, my family will send more to me from Taiwan. (When I
went abroad, I always brought some tea with me, and my family would send some more to
me from Taiwan if it ran out.) Perhaps it is because this kind of tea hasn’t been dried over a
fire, (X) (that) it contains (the) natural flavor. The tea is bitter with little sweet 【with +
object (noun), with a sweet flavor】.
Although I thought there must have (be) some stores that sell good tea, I couldn’t find
any store that sells tea (ones) after walking back and forth on that small street. So
(Therefore,) I asked a (passerby of) middle age (middle-aged) woman who passed through
(X) if any store that sells tea (there were any stores selling tea), and she said with (a) simle
(smile), “Yes.” She took me to the second floor of a small restaurant and left hastily. The
small restaurant was also built near the stream. Inside there were three tables of Eight
Immortals. Four long stools were with one table (and each with four benches). This kind of
furnishing can’t be seen easily in cities. I chose a table near (by) the window and sat (down).
The stream murmured and it was misty (drizzly) outside the window. I felt that I should have
beers under this circumstance so I ordered a dish of big head’s meat, a bowl of tofu soup, and
a bottle of bamboo-leaf-green liqueur that came (bought) from the (next) grocery store the
next door (X). Then I started to drink it.
In a moment, the middle age (middle-aged) woman brought an old man upstairs who
carried a big sack filled with tea leaves (upstairs). The old man put the sack down and
grabbed the (some) tea leaves without saying a word. He then walked toward a corner in the
room and opened (turned on) a gas stove that stood there (X). He poured the water into the
basin near by (X) and boiled it. The water was soon boiled (X). (Afterwards,) He took two
bowls and walked to the side of the table where I was sitting. He put the tea leaves into one
of the bowls and poured the hot water into it. (Next,) He poured (spooned) the froth from
one bowl to the other (to the other), and then he added the water again. Finally, he took a
spoon and spooned up the tea from the bowl. He tasted it by himself, nodded and smiled (he
spooned up the tea, tasted it, and nodded with a smile. He put the spoon into a bowl that held
clean water, cleaned it and handed it over to me. He stood there silently and stared at me. I
had a drink, nodded and smiled at him. Next, he laughed loudly and happily at me. The tea
that he made was as if a
masterpiece that was created by the old man. He smiled because
his work was recognized by me. (The tea made was as if his masterpiece has aroused an echo
in my heart)
(4) Nevertheless, there are some good sentences. For example, “Although Shi-Ding is
not as prosperous as it used to be, ......” , compared with the others, “it’s no more prosperity
(it is not prosperous no more) here now and ……” and “Although it looks a little old because
of the fading of prosperity, ……”.
3. The worst translation is the second “To Buy Teas at Sharding”.
(1) It is also shadowed by the Chinese structure.
(2) What some sentences express is definite enough.
(3) There are some errors of misspellings, grammar and tenses. Some words or phrases
are not appropriate in use.
(4) Be careful about the use of transitions or conjunctions.
(By) An occasional chance, I (have) visited Sharding once. Sharding is a small place in
the valley of Taipei county (County). There is (was) a highway with mountain and stream
(the mountains and the stream) alongside can go through (led) to it when you leave (I left)
Taipei and pass (passed) through the (X) Shenkeng and Tukuyue. The highway is (was) so
narrow that you can (could) hear the sound of (X) murmuring stream under the cliff when
craning your neck outside the window. Although it is (was) drizzly, the azure stream and the
light green mountains opposite the bank (X) are (were) still so verdant.
After (When) jumping out off (of) the car, looking (I looked) up at the mountains
around me, and overlooking (overlooked) the stream, I though (and thought): in this kind of
wonderful place, there must be superior tea here; especially it is the production region of
pouchtea. Speaking of savoring (drinking) tea, I am not addicted to it; nevertheless, I am
stubborn. I can’t remember the exact time (X) when I was fond of drinking pouchtea;
moreover, this taste was never changed during these years. Whenever I left Taiwan for
working (work), I always brought about one kilogram (of tea leaves) to go, and I would
asked my family to send me new pouchtea (some) when I was almost finished (it ran out).
The pouchtea has a kind of natural fragrance and is tasted bitterly with a little fragrance.
When you make (I made) tea, the tea leafs is (leaves are) verdurous and the tea is yellow
clear, which makes it a (an) enjoyment visually.
This time I came to Shindian, although (. Although) I thought that there must be good
tea here, I can’t (could not) find a tea-seller after walking back and forth around the street.
(Latter,) I met a (passerby of) mid-life woman who passed through (X) and asked her
whether she knows (knew) the place to buy tea. She smiled and answered “ I know.”
(Therefore,) I came with her to the upstairs of a snack shop, and then she went downstairs in
a hurry. This snack shop was located in (built along) the stream as well. There were three
bashian(eight deities) (X) tables, and each table distributed (with) four benches. This kind is
display was less and less in the city (The decoration like it couldn’t be found in the city). I
chose a table near the window and sat down. There were (a) murmuring stream and drizzly
rains (rain) outside, which made me a (the) thinking to have some drink. Therefore, I ordered
some pork, tofu soup, and a (bottle of) zhu-xie-qing which I bought from (the) next-door
grocery, and then I drank and ate (them) by myself (X).
To sum up, the writers of the first two translations should read the Chinese article again.
Next, they have to think over what the author expresses. They should delete some
unnecessary words or sentence, add and reorder the meaning, and focus on main ideas.
Besides, they have to be careful for the use of words or phrases, grammar, and tenses as well
as the third translation. Also, they should make good use of transitions or conjunctions, which
can make the article fluent a bit. Therefore, when the translation is unified and coherent, the
reader can easily understand the main points.