A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
admittance policy.
appreciate
buttocks
confused
curse
elected
genie
go into effect
graft
guilty
overwhelming
having an affair
hummer
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
jungle
makeover
matters
nowhere in sight
overcome
plummeted
rage
rehearsal
relieve
requested
severely
ticked
unplugged
(1)
It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided
to change the ___1___ (批准入天堂的政策)
3. She looked into my eyes. 表示什麼？
(A)她發現我的眼睛有問題。 (B)她了解我的心事。 (C)
她對我深情款款。
4. She doubled her investment. 是什麼意思？
(A)她投資的錢變成兩倍。 (B)她加倍的投資。 (C)
她投資了兩次。
5. I was very touched. 是什麼意思？
(A)我心裏很舒服。 (B)我很感動。 (C)她了解我的心
情。
6. Which girlfriend did the man decide to marry?
(A)He did not tell us about that. (B) He hasn’t
decided yet. (C)The first one. (D)The second one.
The new law was that in order to get into heaven, you had
to have a real ___2___ (倒楣) of a day when you died.
The policy would ___3___ (生效)at noon the next day.
(3)
No problem,' the man says. 'I came home to my 25th floor
apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife
half-naked and appearing to be ___4___ (有外遇), but
her lover was ___5___ (找不到). Well, I ran out onto the
balcony and stomped on her lover’s fingers until he fell to
the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some
trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This
___6___ me off (讓我生氣) even more. In a ___7___
(憤怒之下), I went back inside to get the refrigerator. I
___8___ it (拔掉插頭), pushed it out onto the balcony,
and tipped it over the side. It ___9___ (直線落下) 25
storeys and crushed him! The excitement of the moment
was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost
instantly.
"Do you understand that what __11____ is (重要的是)
whether we win together as a team?"
1. What happened to heaven?
(A)The gate had become narrower. (B) There was a
crowd. (C)There were too many people.
2. Why did the man have a heart attack?
(A) He was very excited. (B) He was very angry. (C)
He moved the refrigerator.
(2)
My first girlfriend went out and gets a total ___10___ (裝
扮的行頭) with the money. When she came back, she
looked into my eyes and said she did it out of her love for
me. I was very aroused.
When the coach said to one of his young players, the little
boy nodded in the affirmative.
The little boy nodded yes.
When a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't
argue or __12____ (咒罵) or attack the umpire.
7. What was the coach talking about?
(A)Basketball (B)Baseball (C)Football (D)Boxing
(E)Wrestlig
(4)
Doctor Dave slept with one of his patients and felt
___13___ (覺得有罪惡感) all day long. No matter how
much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and
sense of betrayal was __14____ (讓他無法承受). But
every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring
voice that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the
first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you
won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go..." But
another voice kept telling him, “Dave, you are a vet . . . . “
8. Who did the Dave slept with?
(A)An animal
(B)A woman (C)A nurse (D)We don’t know.
9. Let it go.是什麼意思？
(A)放病人走吧。(B)不要理病人了。(C)忘了這件事吧。
(D)辭職算了。
The second one invested my money in the stock market,
doubled her investment, returns the original $5000 to me
and reinvests the rest. I was very touched.
(5)
I wasn't sure which one to marry. I thought long and hard
and finally decided to marry the one with the biggest tits.
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents (第一次) for
dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the
room to (洗碗). Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and
這部分的題目是選擇題，題目在文章下面。
he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but
audible, fart.
The father didn’t say anything. The boy thought he was
homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud
and smelly fart.
10. 第一次(A) the first time (B)for the first time (C) at
first time (D)in first time
11. 洗碗(A) wash the bowl (B) have a wash (C) wash
bowl (D)do the dishes (E) do the bowls (F) do the
wash
12. smelly fart 是什麼意思？
(A)很臭的屁 (B)很香的味道 (C)很難聞的香水 (D)
很香的禮物 (E)很遠就可以聞到的味道
13. The boy thought he was homefree 是什麼意思？
(A)到家了 (B)賓至如歸 (C)心情非常好 (D)可以放
心了 (E) 被接受了
(6)
Two cannibals, a father and son, were __15____ (被推選)
by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They
walked deep into the____16__ (叢林) and waited by a
path.
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The
son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the
father said. "We'd all __(死於---見下面選擇題) a heart
attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous
woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with
that one, dad. Let's eat her."
14. 死於 (A)die of (B) die from (C) dead fish (D) die
for (E) dead in
15. How did the woman look?
(A)strong (B)fatty (C)beautiful (D)absolute
16. What did the boy say when he saw the woman?
(A)這個很正點 (B)這個一定很好吃 (C)這個沒什麼
問題 (D)這個沒犯錯
(7)
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
woman's face was __17____ burned. (嚴重燒傷)The
doctor told the husband that they couldn't ___18___ any
skin (刮皮) from her body because she was too skinny.
So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt
was suitable would have to come from his___19___ (屁
股).
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one
about where the skin came from, and __20____ (要求)
that the doctor also honor their secret.
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was
__21____ with emotion (非常感動) at his sacrifice. She
said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you
did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
17. 為什麼要刮先生的皮來用？
(A)太太受傷很嚴重 (B)先生的皮膚比較白 (C)太太
太瘦了 (D)先生的皮膚比較健康
(8)
During the wedding __22____(排練), the groom
approached the pastor with an unusual offer:
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding
__(誓詞). When you get to the part where I'm supposed
to ___(承諾) to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to
her forever,' I'd ___23_____(感謝) it if you'd just leave
that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked
away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the
groom's vows, the pastor said: "Will you promise to
prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command
and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your
life, and __(發誓)eternally before God and your lovely
wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as
long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny
voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I
thought we had a deal." The pastor put a $100 bill into the
groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better
offer."
Why didn’t the pastor did as the groom asked?
18. 請排出 誓詞/承諾/發誓 的英文順序：
(A)vow (B)swear (C)promise
19. I thought we had a deal. 是什麼意思？
(A)新郎責備牧師食言。 (B)新郎和牧師達成交易。 (C)
新郎說牧師貪財。
(9)
A scientist gets on a train to go to New York. His cabin
also has a poor farmer in it. To pass the time the scientist
decides to play a game with the guy.
"I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have
to pay me 1 dollar. Then you ask me a question, and if I
get it wrong, you get 10 dollars. You ask me a question
first." The farmer thinks for a while.
"I know. What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a
palm tree, and 10 seconds to get back down?" The
scientist is __24____ (覺得很迷惑) and thinks long and
hard about the question. Finally, the train ride is coming to
an end. As it pulls into the station, the scientist takes out
10 dollars and gives it to the farmer.
"I don't know. what has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a
palm tree and 10 seconds to get back down?" The farmer
takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket. He then
takes out 1 dollar and hands it to the scientist.
"I don't know."
20. Why did the scientist want to play the game with
the poor farmer? (A) 打發時間 (B)騙農夫的錢 (C)
炫耀自己的學問 (D)表示友善
21. When did the scientist give the farmer 10 dollars?
(A)下火車時 (B)火車進站時 (C)兩人說再見時 (D)
他沒給錢
22. What has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm
tree and 10 seconds to get back down?
(A)A train. (B)The farmer knows (C)There is nothing
like that (D)The scientist
(10)
There once was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other.
One day, they found a ___26___(精靈) in a lamp who
said he would grant them each a wish. The bear went first
and he said, "I wish to be the only male bear in this
forest." And he got his wish.
The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the
world, and all the rest were females." And he got his wish.
It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish that bear was
gay."
23. What was the bear’s wish?
(A)牠是唯一的熊。(B) )牠是唯一公熊。(C)全世界其
他的公熊全死光。
24. What was the rabbit’s wish?
(A)那隻熊是同性戀。(B) )牠是唯一公兔。(C)牠能有
一頂安全帽。(D)那隻雄能變成兔子。
25. Why did the rabbit wish that the bear was gay?
(A) He made a joke. (B) He loves the bear. (C) He
hated the bear. (D)He wished the bear to be a rabbit.
(11)
There was a man who had four kids, all gorgeous, except
for the youngest one, Craig, who was nothing short of
gruesome. While on his deathbed, the husband asked his
wife, "Marie, tell me one thing. And please be honest. Am
I Craig's father?"
"Yes, honey," replied his wife. "I promise you, Craig is 100
percent yours."
"I can die a happy man. Goodbye my love."
And the man peacefully passed away.
Marie gave a big sigh and said quietly, "Thank heaven
almighty he didn't ask me about the other three."
26. How did Craig look?
(A) ugly (B) gorgeous (C) handsome (D)nothing
short
27. Who was Craig’s father?
(A) Marie (B) the dying man (C)Goodbye (D)No one
knows
28. The man peacefully passed away.是什麼意思？
(A)那個男人安全過關了。(B) 那個男人平安活下來
了。(C)那個男人死得很不甘心。(D) 那個男人平靜
地死去。
29. Why did Marie thank heaven almighty?
(A)她先生沒有問太多。 (B)她先生有善終。 (C)她先
生很快樂。 (D)她先生有兒子傳終接代。
(12)
I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing
my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I
was really pushing hard to＿＿25＿ my stress（舒緩壓
力）. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell over the side!
'Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the
balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man
comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and
stomps on my fingers. Well of course I fell. I hit some
trees and bushes at the bottom that broke my fall so I
didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see
this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony.
It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me
instantly.'
30. I got a little carried away. 是什麼意思？
(A)我被推了一把。 (B)我跌了一跤。 (C) 我有一點
頭暈。 (D)我有些心不在焉。
31. 說話的這個人從樓上掉下去之後，先後發生了什
麼事？請按照順序排列有發生的事。
(A)他躺在地上，面朝上。 (B)他撞到冰箱。(C)他抓
住了陽台邊。 (D)他掛在樹上。 (E)有人猛踩他的手
指頭。 (F)看到冰箱掉下來。