P33-34
If you’re lucky enough, you will find a living Guru. It was only one month after
my first night of desperate prayer on my bathroom floor that I found mine. The first
time I saw her, in that photograph in David’s apartments, I felt she was saying, ‘You
called for me and bow I’m here. So do you want to do this thing, or not?’
I must always remember what I replied that night: a simple and bottomless YES.
如果你夠幸運，你將可以自己找到現存的古魯，我在第一個晚上情於拼命地
在臥室地上禱告後一個月我找到了自我，這是第一次我看見了她，在大衛的公寓
裡的相片中，我感覺到她對我說“你叫我來，現在我在這了，所以你想做嗎？“
我一直都記得我那晚當時的回答，一個簡單極深刻的 YES。
P34
Outside the walls of the Ashram is a small village. It’s a poor place, with one dirt
street, one temple, a few shops, and a lot of cows. Inside the Ashram, it’s gardens
flowers, birdsong, and beautiful trees. The buildings ate nice, but simple. There’s a
dining hall, a big library of spiritual writing from the world’s different religions, a few
temples, and two dark rooms for meditation. There’s an outdoor room where yoga
classes are held in the morning and a park with a path around it where students can
run for exercise.
Some people are paid to work at the Ashram, but most of the work here is done
by the students. It’s not a hotel or a vacation place. It’s more like a university. You
cannot come here unless you have been studying yoga for a long time, and you have
to stay for one month. (I’ve decided to stay for six weeks, and then to travel around
India on by own.)
Ashram life is tough. Days begin at 3 a.m. and end at 9 p.m., and you spend
hours and hours a day in silent meditation, with little to take you away from the
workings of your own mind. You live close together with people you don’t know, in
the Indian countryside.
聚會所的牆外是一個小村莊，一個貧窮的地方，有著一條泥土道路，一間宇，
一些商店和一大群牛隻。在聚會所裡面，有著花園，花卉，鳥鳴聲及美麗的樹木。
這些建築物很美好，但卻很小。有著一個餐廳，一間有著來自各地不同宗教心靈
寫作的大圖書館，一些廟宇和兩個讓人冥想沉思的黑暗房間。還有一個在外的房
間，當瑜珈教室已經在早上開始，有著小路環繞的公園就可以讓學生運動的地
方。
有些人在這個聚會所裡面領薪工作，但大多數的工作學生們已經做完了。這
不是個旅館或度假的地方，反而比較像是一間大學，你不能來這除非已經學瑜珈
很長一段時間，或你只停留一個月。(我決定停留六個星期，然後繼續在印度其
他地方旅遊。)
(印度教)聚會所的生活很嚴格的，每天開始於凌晨三點半，結束於晚上九點
半，然後你一天內需花費很多很多的時間在安靜冥想沉思，想著如何帶領你自己
遠離自己的想法。然後你得和一群不熟識的人緊密的生活在一起，在這印度的鄉
村裡。
P35
Sometimes it rains hard for weeks, sometimes it is impossible hot even before
breakfast. Thing can get deeply real around here, very fast.
My Guru always says that only one thing will happen when you come to the
Ashram – that you will discover who you really are.
I have only one day to find my way around the Ashram, and then it is already
New Year’s Eve. After dinner, people come and sit outside. The Indian women are
dressed in their best saris and gold bracelets, and we are going to chant until
midnight, until the year changes, I’m tired from my journey, but the music and the
singing carry me along. We sit cross-legged on the ground in the warm dark night,
our bodies moving from side to side in time with the chanting. Than, at 11.30, the
music gets faster, lifting the chant into happiness. Beautifully dressed women are
dancing, and it feels like we are pulling the year 2004 toward us.
This is the first New Year’s Eve I can ever remember in my life where I haven’t
known any of the people I am with. In all this dancing and singing, there is no one for
me to hug at midnight. But I wouldn’t say that anything about this night has been
lonely. No, I would not say that at all.
有時候會下好幾星期的雨，有時再早餐前會感到不可思議的熱。我的 Guru
常說當你到 Ashram 時只有一件事會發生-你將會真正的發現你自己是誰。
我只有一天的時間再 Ashram 周圍群找我的路，接下來就是新年夜了。人們
晚餐後會過來並坐在外面。印度女人會穿上他們最好的莎麗服和金飾，我們會吟
誦直到午夜，直到下一年。我對我的旅程感到疲憊，但音樂與歌唱帶走我的寂寞。
我們再溫暖的黑夜裡盤腿坐在地上，我的身體隨著吟唱左右擺動。然後，再 11:30，
音樂加快，讓吟唱變得歡樂。穿著漂亮的女人再跳舞，那感覺像我正把 2004 年
拉向我們。
這是在我有記憶以來第一次再一個沒有我認識的人的地方過新年夜。這些舞
蹈或歌唱中，我沒有任何人可以再半夜擁抱。但我不會對這個夜晚訴說任何寂寞
的話。對，我不會說得。
休閒二甲陳思源 4a2b0045
P36-37