Writing the Synthesis Thesis Statement
What does the thesis statement need to do?
 Present an unobvious argument about what we learn from the texts.
 Discuss a tension or problem central to the texts.
 Remain open to change or contradiction rather than shying away from it. Life and
relationships are complicated; your thesis can acknowledge that.
A good working thesis
 Leads your to greater precision. It helps you to get more specific, honing your ideas.
 Reduces scope, separating useful and significant evidence from the rest of the
details.
 Provides direction, helping you to decide what to talk about and where to go next.
 Contains tension, balancing two ideas off of each other.
How do you start thinking in those terms?
There are many different ways to present a thesis statement; however, I’m going to present
a few forms to get you thinking in that direction. These are useful for a few reasons: a) they
ask you to discuss a relationship or tension; b) they define that relationship more precisely
through the use of subordinating clauses; c) they help to drive and organize your essay.
Sample forms:
 Although ___________, nevertheless ___________________.
 While ______________, _________ also __________________.
 Many people might argue _________________, yet _______________.
 These texts allow us to see that _________________ and ______________.
Weak Thesis Statements and How to Fix Them
(Adapted from Rosenwasser and Stephen, Writing Analytically)
1. The thesis makes no claim
a. Example: I am going to discuss the biases that exist against female athletes.
b. How to Revise: Ask yourself additional questions to create an argument or
claim. What are these biases? Why are they significant?
c. Sample Solution: “To pursue and excel at skateboarding women must
disregard traditional expectations for girls to remain passive, compliant and
subordinate, expectations often perpetuated in the media, especially
women’s magazines. They must also negotiate attitudes from within the
subculture that attempt to ignore or dismiss their involvement” (Natalie
Porter, “She Rips When She Skates”).
Although many women are attracted to boxing, particularly because it allows
people a space in which they can vent their anger and frustration as well as a
way to practice self-defense, the desire to punch a bag (or another person)
and the willingness to risk pain and injury are still labeled as masculine
qualities, so many women may feel that these desires are inappropriate or
shameful.
2. The thesis is obviously true or a statement of fact rather than an argument.
a. Example: The jeans industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young
adults (Rosenwasser and Stephen 198).
b. How to Revise: Ask yourself, “Why is this so significant [to the text]?” Find a
question about the facts or an issue raised by them. Make an assertion with
which it would be possible for readers to disagree.
c. Sample Solution: By inventing new terms, such as loose fit and relaxed fit,
the jeans industry has attempted to normalize, even glorify, its product for an
older and fatter generation (Rosenwasser and Stephen 199).
3. The thesis presents a judgment (often a personal one) instead of an argument.
a. Example: Love Actually is a sexist movie.
b. How to Revise: Circle judgment words (good, bad, ugly). Make the thesis
more specific, and provide the supporting evidence necessary to make the
claim.
c. Sample Solution: Although Love Actually claims to show a variety of
relationships representing different social classes and ages, it ultimately
reproduces a single stereotypical romantic relationship between an older
man with power and money and a younger woman over whom he has
professional and personal control.
4. The thesis restates conventional wisdom or a cliché.
a. Example: An important part of one’s college education is learning to better
understand others’ points of view.
b. How to Revise: Seek to complicate your subject by recognizing more than
one point of view. Avoid conventional wisdom unless you can qualify it or
introduce a fresh perspective.
c. Sample Solution: Although an important part of one’s college education is
learning to better understand others’ point of view, a persistent danger is
that students will simply be require to substitute their teachers’ answer for
the ones they grew up believing uncritically.
Exercise: Identity each of the following weak thesis statements by matching it with a
category above, then revise the thesis statement to create a stronger one.
1. These texts show that technology is evil and must be stopped.
2. I am going to discuss how both of these sources focus on the dangers of
brainwashing.
3. The lesson that we learn from Blade Runner is that love conquers all.