War Play, Gun Play, Superhero and Violent
Play...Why Won't It Go Away?
North Dakota State University
NDSU Extension Service
Many parents, teachers and child-care providers are troubled with aggressive play. Is it as
bad as we think it is? Should it be tolerated? Do we promote it? How do we get rid of it?
Why do preschoolers play this way sometimes? Three-, 4- and 5-year-olds typically are not
in control of their own lives. Adults make most of the decisions, and older siblings and
playmates make up most of the rules. Teachers and child-care providers work with larger
groups of children and must have some control over planned activities and schedules.
Preschoolers may feel a bit lost in this world of older decision makers.
War play, gun play, superhero and violent play help 3-, 4- and 5-year-olds feel more in
control, especially of things they fear: noises, animals, toileting, bedtime, monsters and
ghosts, bed wetting, people who look different than them, getting lost, going to child care,
losing a parent, death, injury and parents divorcing.
What Does Superhero Play Offer Preschoolers?
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The power to dominate
Many possibilities for solutions
Courage
Strength
Wisdom -- solves all problems and their solutions are always accepted
Speed
Superhuman traits -- such as flying or swimming underwater for great distances
The ability to change body shape
An unquestionably good and just personality
Everybody listens and nobody tells them what to do
Adults and children love them, respect them and want to be their friends
A new vocabulary.
What Do Gun Play, Violent Play and War Play Offer?
These types of play make it possible for preschoolers to do some sorting by making
distinctions between good and evil, right and wrong, power and powerlessness, good guys
and bad guys, acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.
The glamour, power and wit of superheroes and good guys are attractive to young children
who feel they have few of these qualities. As parents and teachers of preschoolers, how do
we combat these foes? Do we necessarily want to?
How to Help
State the rules, such as, "Use your body and words without hurting others, yourself or
property." Enforce these limits without hurting others with your words or actions. Adults
are children's role models.
Take opportunities to talk about how the evil villain might have otherwise solved his
problem. Watch a favorite superhero show together or read fairy tales and work with the
children to create your own peaceful endings.
Help the children rotate roles so that everyone can be the "good person" and the "bad
person" equally.
Set up safety measures to allow children to leave the game, call time out or rotate roles
whenever they wish.
Provide props for fire fighting and capturing wild animals to "doctor up" and "make
well." These alternatives give children power over fearful situations without violence. Also,
the "evil" is not a person.
Monitor TV and video viewing. Children need lots of time for creative play. This means
less television and more interaction in a supportive learning environment filled with many
options and caring adults.
Limit the amount of time children are allowed for aggressive play.
Stop hurtful language and actions. Work with the children to decide what to do instead
next time.
Give children power daily by letting them make choices and take responsibility. Treat them
respectfully and support their feelings as they learn to deal with their power and all the
influences to which they're exposed.
This newsletter is published for North Dakota families with preschoolers by the NDSU Extension Service and distributed
through your county extension office. NDSU Extension Service, North Dakota State University of Agriculture and Applied
Science, and U.S. Department of Agriculture cooperating. Sharon D. Anderson, Director, Fargo, North Dakota.
Distributed in furtherance of the Acts of Congress of May 8 and June 30, 1914. We offer our programs and facilities to all
persons regardless of race, color, sex, religion, age, national origin, or disability; and are an equal opportunity employer.
This publication will be made available in alternative format for people with disabilities upon request 701/231-7881.
Parenting Preschoolers, Issue No. 3
North Dakota State University
NDSU Extension Service