First Name Last Name
Instructor: Molly Tenenbaum
English 101
28 January 2015
Annotations are in blue italic text.
Here we’ll put a vivid title that introduces us to the idea right away:
Below are some possible titles
Scrub-a-dub-dub
Bathroom Philosophy
A Life of Grime
Just Do It
The opening paragraph presents vivid examples to illustrate the thesis. I’m
on my hands and knees by the toilet, brush in hand. The tile floor hurts my knees,
and the smell of cleaners assaults my senses. My eyes burn, and my rubber gloves
feel clammy on my hands. However, I’m looking forward to a few hours from
now, when the bathroom will be sparkling. Cleaning the bathroom is a horrible
job, but the result is worth it. The opening paragraph ends with the thesis.
The second paragraph introduces the category to which the object of
review belongs, and also lays out the criteria by which you are evaluating it.
The ideal household task involves the following elements: In the perfect task,
doing the task is pleasant. The proper tools, or even automatic tools, are available.
Ideally, the doing itself could be enjoyable, and ideally, the doing would not take
very long. Also ideally, other household members would notice that this task has
been done, and would appreciate it, thanking the person who did it and perhaps
doing other tasks in reciprocation. The results of an ideal task make the task
worthwhile. The criteria above have been listed in some order that makes sense:
order of importance, chronological order, etc. Cleaning the bathroom involves
some of the above elements, but it is still an unpleasant job. The end of the
paragraph says something about how the criteria connect to your specific topic,
and reminds the reader of the thesis.
The third paragraph begins with a bridge / topic sentence that says how
your item under review meets the first criterion listed above. You can’t get around
it: cleaning the bathroom is basically unpleasant. It is gross to deal with other
people’s gunk: Dad’s little shaving hairs on the counter, someone else’s soap scum
in the sink, makeup everywhere, and long hair clogging the drain. Since I always
wipe away my own messes, I get very frustrated with my family’s thoughtlessness.
Of course, you’re probably all remembering your own toilet-cleaning experiences,
and we all know that there’s no way that can be made enjoyable.
The next paragraph begins with a bridge / topic sentence that says how your
item meets the next criterion. The first half of the sentence is the bridge, or
transition from the previous paragraph, and the next introduces the new topic.
Although cleaning the bathroom is basically no fun, I have the right tools, so I am
not utterly miserable in the job. Now the paragraph gives examples to illustrate the
topic sentence. I have a wonderful pair of bright green rubber gloves that go all the
way up to my elbow. I use “Green Clean” for cleaning the tile and the floor: it’s
made of biodegradable herbs and citrus, so it smells good and is non-toxic. I have
scrub brushes of various sizes, and a variety of sponges and rags. My brushes are
the right size for each job, so that each individual cleaning task goes quickly. I
have special lint-free rags that really pick up the dust well. In fact, I sort of enjoy
dragging the cloth across the counter and seeing the clean swath I create. After the
examples, the end of the paragraph reminds us of the thesis so that we don’t lose
track. Nevertheless, I’d rather be finishing all my homework for all three of my
classes, even my English homework, which I hate.
The next paragraph begins with a bridge / topic sentence that says how your
item meets the next criterion. The first half of the sentence is the bridge, or
transition from the previous paragraph, and the next introduces the new topic.
With the tools I have, cleaning the bathroom is easy, but it still takes too long,
especially if, like me, you have high standards of cleanliness. Now examples are
given to illustrate the topic sentence. I want the grout between all the tiles to be
clean and white, so I have to scrub it with a toothbrush. I don’t want to see any
smears or splashes on the mirror, so I have to go over it several times with a clean
cloth and some white vinegar (no need for Windex!). The tub takes a long time to
clean because my family members leave their caked-on scum there. And
sometimes, after I’ve rinsed it, I need to go back over it because I’ve missed a few
spots After the examples, the end of the paragraph reminds us of the thesis and the
criterion being considered. I suppose I could lower my standards so that this task
took a shorter time, but then I’d have to live with a dirty bathroom, so I will
continue to do this task the time-consuming way.
The next paragraph begins with a bridge / topic sentence that says how your
item meets the next criterion. The first half of the sentence is the bridge, or
transition from the previous paragraph, and the next introduces the new topic.
With all that detail work, do I get any appreciation? Now examples illustrate the
paragraph’s topic sentence. Well, some of my family appreciate it and others take
the clean bathroom for granted: My kids don’t notice at all. I think they believe
that towels pick themselves up and that shower-water spilled on the floor dries
itself. My spouse occasionally notices and when he does, he says “Thank you,” but
then the matter is forgotten. He continues to leave the wet washcloth on the counter
and beard hairs in the sink. And does anyone do favors for me in return? No. Does
anyone cook dinner for me or offer to help with the next task? No. After the
examples, the end of the paragraph reminds us of the thesis and the criterion being
considered. All in all, cleaning the bathroom is a thankless job.
Bridge / topic sentence, with a connection to the second part of thesis; we’ve
shown that cleaning the bathroom is icky, and now we have to explore why it’s
worthwhile. Despite all this, the result is worthwhile. After all, who likes to use a
filthy bathroom? Now examples illustrate why it’s worthwhile. My bathroom is so
beautifully clean when I’m done! It smells like fresh herbs and not like the old
soap that was there before. The tub is immaculate—no ring, no scum, and the
porcelain is smooth, not greasy, to the touch. The floor has no grit or hair or bits of
toilet paper on it, so I feel comfortable walking barefoot. I know that I will feel
clean when I take a shower, and I know that the towel I grab from the rack will be
fluffy and dry instead of caked and stiff. The drains all drain, and even the toilet
seems to work better. When people come over, I don’t feel ashamed. The
countertops are shining, so I feel comfortable setting my toothbrush right on it. All
the toiletries are organized, so I can find them even in the dark morning when I’m
rushing to work. Even the magazine basket is arranged with my favorite reading on
top. After the examples, the end of the paragraph reminds us of the thesis and the
specific point being considered in this paragraph. I feel satisfied because I have
just finished one of the worst household tasks there is.
Here come the counterarguments: some people might disagree with some
elements of the thesis. Some people might say that cleaning the bathroom is such
an awful task they will never do it, no matter how wonderful the result is. Some
people say that it’s just going to get dirty again, so they will never bother to clean
it. They say, "let those who care about it clean it. I'm going to go watch TV." Some
might believe that someone will always clean the bathroom before they get to it, so
if they just wait, it will get done without their help.
This paragraph argues against these people who disagree with you. I do
understand, that cleaning the bathroom is icky. But living involves getting dirty,
and all life on earth undergoes the processes of cellular sloughing and
regeneration; in other words, no one is exempt from needing to excrete, and thus
everyone should be responsible for cleaning up. Those who leave it to others are
very rude. Also, those people who don’t help will never learn the rewards—of
cleanliness and responsibility. Even if none of these grand reasons are sufficient,
it’s just a job that needs doing; there’s no way around that.
We’re coming to the closer now. We can take the thesis a little further,
expand the idea, answer the “So What” question: “Why is this topic even
important? Why are you telling me this?” After cleaning the bathroom, I not only
feel that I have contributed to the smooth running of my household and the
ordinary pleasures (a clean mirror! a clean sink!) of daily life. When you clean the
bathroom, you might also gain these satisfactions, but there are other reasons to
clean the bathroom too: So your date doesn’t see how disgusting you can let it get.
So it’s more pleasant to be there. So your mother will be pleased. So bad bacteria
will not spread. And you might also enjoy some self-satisfaction: You did
something no one else wanted to do, and it benefits everyone. In fact, we are all
human. We should all take part in that humanity by understanding that we are all
physical bodies with sensory awareness—and our senses often enjoy cleanliness
and shiny surfaces. The very ending tries to take things even further, and
remembers Trimble’s ideas for a strong closer: It reminds us of the thesis, it gives
us one last surprise or interesting point, and it has an emotional punch. Besides,
the more you take part in doing things for everyone, the more human you will
become.
Basic plan of the Review:
1. Opening anecdote or image
2. Thesis.
3. Category and list of criteria.
4. 1st criterion + examples
5. 2nd criterion + examples
6. 3nd criterion + examples…etc
7. Counterargument: What do people who disagree with your
evaluation say?
8. Your argument against them.
9. Ideas for the closer: extend your idea, answer the “so what”
question.
10.
Think of a title