1. What does “empathy” mean?
2. According to the authors of the article, who empathizes more—men or women? Do you
agree or disagree? Why or why not?
3. The reading states that women are more “holistic” than men. What does this mean?
4. This article claims that men are more competitive and achievement-oriented than women.
Explain what this means and then state whether you agree, disagree, or both agree and
disagree.
5. What is gossip? Do you think women gossip more than men do?
6. Men tend to understand the world by analyzing and systematizing it. Women try to
understand the world on an intuitive and emotional level. How might this difference in
process be expressed in what men and women talk about?
7. Think about your male and female teachers, both here at the UW and back home. How
did you feel about them? Do you see distinct differences in the ways that they
communicate with the students? (Is Richard distinctly different from the women teachers
you have? For example, do you think they are more sensitive to your feelings or take
greater care to get to know you?)
8. On page 23, it states that “Men talk to give information or report. Women talk to collect
information or gain rapport.” What does “rapport” mean? Do you agree with this
“generalization”?
9. Culture plays an important role in how a person communicates. What are some
differences you see in how American men and women communicate compared to men
and women in your own culture?
10. What can be gained (if anything) from having a better understanding of how the opposite
sex communicates?
College Reading-Male & Female Communication Styles
Discussion Questions & Answers
Winter Quarter 2015
Instructor: Richard Alishio
In your groups, take turns answering the following questions about the reading and the
vocabulary.
1. What does “empathy” mean?
Empathy means the ability to understand the thoughts and feelings of another person without
actually having the experiences that create those thoughts and feelings.
2. According to the authors of the article, who empathizes more—men or women? Do you
agree or disagree? Why or why not?
According to the author of this article, women tend to be more empathetic than men. I
agree/disagree with this statement because (in my experience, women have always been
more nurturing and openly supportive than most of the men I have known. While this doesn’t
mean men aren’t empathetic, I believe they aren’t as likely to show or act upon those
feelings.)
3. The reading states that women are more “holistic” than men. What does this mean?
Holistic itself means anything that can be described as pertaining to entire systems and not
the analysis or reduction of that system to its individual parts. In women, this means they are
more likely to see a person in terms of that person’s feelings and needs and to communicate
this by building rapport with others.
4. This article claims that men are more competitive and achievement-oriented than women.
Explain what this means and then state whether you agree, disagree, or both agree and
disagree.
Being competitive and achievement-oriented means that a person will relate to others more in
terms of one-up or one-down power relationships than in terms of equally sharing or
deferring to the needs of others first. Being achievement oriented means that a person is
primarily focused on how to reach a particular goal rather on how to build mutually
satisfying relationships that may or may not lend themselves to achieving that goal.
5. What is gossip? Do you think women gossip more than men do?
Gossip is talking about other people, often in exaggerated or even false terms. I sometimes
gossip, but when I do, it is usually when I’m talking to a woman. I believe women do gossip
more than men because they are more relationship-oriented than men are and therefore more
concerned with the behavior of those around. I think men don’t gossip as much because they
don’t care as much about relationships outside of their own.
6. Men tend to understand the world by analyzing and systematizing it. Women try to
understand the world on an intuitive and emotional level. How might this difference in
process be expressed in what men and women talk about?
I believe that this results in men talking more about things outside of themselves, things that
can be measure, evaluated, analyzed, or described. Examples of this are politics, sports,
business, technology (such as computers and cars), and abstract ideas in the realm of
philosophy and science. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to share information
about people, their relationships to each other, and how those relationships affect people on a
daily basis. Thus, women are more likely to discuss their husbands, children, co-workers,
bosses, neighbors, etc. and try to establish a sense of how well these relationships are
proceeding.
7. Think about your male and female teachers, both here at the UW and back home. How
did you feel about them? Do you see distinct differences in the ways that they
communicate with the students? (Is Richard distinctly different from the women teachers
you have? For example, do you think they are more sensitive to your feelings or take
greater care to get to know you?)
I have no answer for this since I haven’t been a student for many years. However, what I can
remember about my men and women teachers is that I sensed no real differences.
8. On page 23, it states that “Men talk to give information or report. Women talk to collect
information or gain rapport.” What does “rapport” mean? Do you agree with this
“generalization”?
Rapport means a sense of harmony and accord between or among individuals or groups. I
agree with this, but I also believe that a man’s sense of rapport comes from his interactions
with others when discussing external “things.
9. Culture plays an important role in how a person communicates. What are some
differences you see in how American men and women communicate compared to men
and women in your own culture?
Americans in general tend to be more direct and opinionated than people from areas of the
world where being deferential and neutral are considered admirable and desirable qualities.
The resulting difference in communication can make Americans seem pushy and
inconsiderate at times. This is true for both men and women, in my opinion.
10. What can be gained (if anything) from having a better understanding of how the opposite
sex communicates?
Having a better understanding of how men and women communicate can help people avoid
some of the perennial problems that cause people to experience confusion, hurt feelings,
anger, and disappointment with each other. In professional areas such as business,
government, and education, having a good grasp of male and female communication styles
can help organizations function more smoothly and create a more comfortable and caring
sense of inclusion for all of those involved. This in turn can make the organization stronger
and more adaptable.