Alone on Valentine’s Day?
Feb. 8, 2013
Glenda Russell
The reminders are everywhere. Candy hearts and roses are displayed prominently
in grocery stores while radio and TV ads for jewelry and chocolates are broadcast
daily. They’re reminders that it’s time to spoil your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day.
But what if you’re single and feeling left out? How do you handle Valentine’s Day
alone?
The answer? Find others just like you and do something fun together, says CUBoulder counselor and psychologist Glenda Russell.
CUT 1 “One of the things you can do is go look for people who need company on
Valentine’s Day. Find them and do something together. Make it fun - go to a movie
together, go to dinner together, go for a run together -(:12) do something that the
two of you or the three of you or the four of you could genuinely enjoy. And help
each other.” (:19)
Russell says, if you are single and feel left out because you don’t have a companion
on Valentine’s Day, take a moment to reflect and realize that being alone is OK.
CUT 2 “For people who are alone, the first question I think they need to ask
themselves - is what message they’re giving themselves about the meaning of them
being alone? Often times people get into catastrophizing messages about, ‘this
means I am not loveable, this means I am never going to be loved, this means it’s the
end of the world.’ Well almost never does it mean any of those things. (:20) In fact,
what it usually means is right now I am not in a relationship. That’s a far cry from
this sense that this has huge momentous negative implications for my happiness
today and forever. It doesn’t. It just means you’re alone now.” (:29)
Russell says another thing a single person can do to feel involved on Valentine’s Day
is to do something for someone else you care about.
CUT 3 “Valentine’s Day is a great day to send a card to your grandmother.
Valentine’s day is a great day to send an email to somebody with whom you went to
high school and say, ‘I’m thinking about you because you were really special in my
life.’ (836) And doing that, literally, just doing one of those things, takes the edge off
the anxiety of Valentine’s Day and it also takes the edge off of that loss that you feel,
that some people feel, if they’re not involved in some big romantic relationship over
Valentine’s Day.” (:31)
Alone or not from a commercial standpoint, Americans spend more on Valentine’s
Day than on any other holiday. According to the National Retail Federation, last year
Americans spent $17.6 billion on candy, balloons, paper cards and other tokens of
love. That’s more than any other American holiday.
-CU-