by Carol Dillon
Spice Up Your Writing
with Sentence Variety.
Why Sentence Variety?
If our sentences feel, sound or
look the same, they may…
• Distract readers
• Cause them to lose interest
• Shift their attention from our message to
our writing style
some options . . .
Spice up your
writing . . .
vary your
sentences
~Sentence Length~
~Sentence Structure~
Definitions Needed
Sentence
Clause
Subject
Verb
Independent Clause
Dependent Clause
Definitions (cont.)
A sentence is a group of words that
expresses a complete thought.
Francine dances.
A subject is what the sentence is about.
Francine dances.
A verb is a word that expresses an action or
links the subject to the rest of the sentence.
Francine is a professional dancer.
Francine dances in competitions.
Definitions (cont.)
• Clause – a group of words that
contains a subject and a verb that
indicates time.
• An independent clause can stand
alone as a sentence.
Francine (subject) dances (verb that indicates
present time).
Definitions (cont.)
A dependent clause cannot stand
alone - it depends on another clause.
While Francine dances (dependent), she always
smiles (independent).
Notice that the word “while” makes
this clause dependent.
Spice it up…
Sentence Length
~Short~
~Long~
Use Short Sentences
• Save for important statements
• Use to emphasize critical information
The people of this small nation stood together
against tyranny and won.
Methamphetamine labs pose a threat to every
person in every community.
Spice it up…vary length
Long Sentences:
Coordinate Ideas
Short:
The federal government needed to raise
taxes. Lawmakers knew that the people
would object.
Revised:
The federal government needed to raise
taxes; lawmakers knew that the people
would object.
Spice it up…vary length
Relate Coordinating Ideas:
Use a Comma with a
Coordinating Conjunction
but
and
for
nor
or
so
yet
The federal government
needed to raise taxes, but
legislators knew that the
people would object.
OR
The federal government
needed to raise taxes, and
legislators knew that the
people would object.
Spice it up…vary length
Relate Coordinating Ideas:
Use a “Heavier” Conjunction
• Use words like however, therefore,
consequently, etc. after a semicolon to
show the relationship of the two ideas.
• Follow the word showing the relationship
with a comma. (These conjunctions are
always set apart from the rest of the
sentence with commas.)
The federal government needed to raise taxes;
however, lawmakers knew that the people would
object.
Spice it up…vary length
Subordinate Less
Important Ideas
Add a
condition (if,
because,
although,
when, etc.) to
make one of
the ideas
dependent on
the other.
Short:
Sandy had a headache. She
was in no mood to watch
Desperate Housewives with her
roommates.
Revised:
Because Sandy had a
headache, she was in no
mood to watch Desperate
Housewives with her
roommates.
Spice it up…vary length
Spice it up…
Sentence Structure
~Adverbs~
~Prepositional Phrases~
~Appositives~
~ed Verb Forms~
~ing Verb Forms~
~Adjectives Clauses~
Start with an Adverb
• Begin the
sentence with
an adverb.
(a word that
tells how,
when, why,
etc.)
Spice it up…vary structure
We walked slowly over the icy
sidewalks to the cafeteria.
Revised: Slowly we walked over
the icy sidewalks to the
cafeteria.
(for emphasis, add a comma after
the adverb)
Slowly, we walked over the icy
sidewalks.
Start with
a Prepositional Phrase
Chuck could see from his window the frozen
pond and wondered if he could finally skate
on it.
Revised: From his window Chuck could see
the frozen pond and wondered if he could
finally skate on it.
(Note: If the prepositional phrase is 4 or more
words, add a comma after the phrase.)
Spice it up…vary structure
Use an Appositive
A noun or
noun
phrase that
identifies
something
or someone
Spice it up…vary structure
Margaret was an avid reader.
She would devour two or
three books every weekend.
Revised: An avid reader,
Margaret would devour two
or three books every
weekend.
OR
Margaret, an avid reader,
would devour two or three
books every weekend.
Use an –ed Verb Form
Jenny was renowned for her
landscape paintings. She also had a
reputation as a skillful portrait artist.
Revised: Renowned for her landscape
paintings, Jenny also had a reputation
as a skillful portrait artist.
Spice it up…vary structure
Use an –ing Verb Form
Henry traveled across the country
interviewing the homeless. He was
gathering information for a book.
Revised: Gathering information for a
new book, Henry traveled across the
country interviewing the homeless.
Spice it up…vary structure
Use Adjective Clauses
to Join Ideas
Settlers often transported all of their
possessions in covered wagons. They
could take only the essentials to start a
new life.
Revised: Settlers, who could take only
the essentials to start a new life, often
transported all of their possessions in
covered wagons.
Spice it up…vary structure
Summary
The content of your paper may be
fascinating, but if your sentences are the
same length and/or the same structure,
readers will likely judge your writing to be
boring.
Practice These
Techniques
Try varying the sentences in
one of your own paragraphs.
OR
Vary the sentences in the
paragraph that follows.
Sentence Variety Exercise
Read the following paragraph, noting the places where it could be revised.
The local community wanted to get involved with a recycling program. They
knew that the alternative was building another landfill. The city council met in
a special session. They decided to get bids for curbside service from two local
companies and three companies outside the city. The bids were all
unfortunately about the same amount. The council decided to sign a 10-year
contract with one of the local companies. The company chosen had been a
part of the community for almost 20 years. It had a sterling reputation for its
dependability. The members of the community have overwhelmingly
supported the new program. They are excited about contributing to their
community and the environment.
Write your revision of this paragraph below.
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A Revised Version
The local community wanted to get involved with a
recycling program because the people knew that
the alternative was building another landfill.
Meeting in a special session, the city council
decided to get bids for curbside service from two
local companies and three companies outside the
city. Unfortunately, the bids were all about the
same amount. The company chosen, a part of the
community for almost 20 years, had a sterling
reputation for its dependability. Overwhelmingly,
the members of the community have supported the
new program and are excited about contributing
to their community and the environment.
Side-By-Side
They Look Like This
Needs Revision:
Revised:
The local community wanted to get
involved with a recycling program. They
knew that the alternative was building
another landfill. The city council met in a
special session. They decided to get bids
for curbside service from two local
companies and three companies
outside the city. The bids were all
unfortunately about the same amount.
The council decided to sign a 10-year
contract with one of the local
companies. The company chosen had
been a part of the community for almost
20 years. It had a sterling reputation for
its dependability. The members of the
community have overwhelmingly
supported the new program. They are
excited about contributing to their
community and the environment.
The local community wanted to get
involved with a recycling program
because the people knew that the
alternative was building another landfill.
Meeting in a special session, the city
council decided to get bids for curbside
service from two local companies and
three companies outside the city.
Unfortunately, the bids were all about the
same amount. The company chosen, a
part of the community for almost 20 years,
had a sterling reputation for its
dependability. Overwhelmingly, the
members of the community have
supported the new program and are
excited about contributing to their
community and the environment.
Brought to you by…
The WRITING
CENTER
Arts & Sciences Hall, 150
University of Nebraska at Omaha